The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos is right around the corner, and in case you weren't aware, the Big Money Rustlas in charge put together this hilarious/terrifying infomercial to learn you. Remind me to stay clear of Cave In Rock, Illinois from August 12-15. Holy crap. The festival touts that it's all about love and friendship, but I'm sure I caught a glimpse of a shanked tourist laying in the muddy camp grounds amongst the frantic ICP fans. You can expect comedians, sideshows, contests, games, and seminars, the most popular of which will be: F*ckin' Magnets: How Do They Work? Attendees will stare in awe at the magic of the universe all around them as Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J make an inspirational quote stick to a refrigerator door. Check out the infomercial below.
The LA Times has premiered a new pic of the Hall Of Asgard from Marvel's big-screen Thor. In the photo, we see Thor kneeling before Odin as Loki, Frigga, Fandal the Dashing, and Hogun the Grim look on. I don't want to be blasphemous just in case there is a God and he's played by Anthony Hopkins, but this is the Hall Of Asgard? It looks more like the set for a porno awards show. I haven't heard of any plans to have Ron Jeremy accept a Lifetime Achievement Award in the film, but maybe Kenneth Branagh will include that after the credits or as a DVD Easter Egg.
When Comic-Con told the The Weinstein Company that their Piranha 3D footage was too graphic for the "family friendly" event, they pulled out of the planned panel. But now comes word that the company is taking it one step further, saying f*** you to Comic-Con by hosting an off-site, nighttime event of their own featuring the rejected footage. TWC and director Alexandre Aja originally planned to show off a sequence where a wet T-shirt contest turns into a total massacre as prehistoric fish chomp waterlogged fun-seekers into meat. It’s the sequence that has been teased in the trailers and pre-release images, and one that sounds like one of the film’s planned showstopper setpieces. I guess it should come as no surprise that the Weinstein Brothers, two of the most powerful men in Hollywood, found a way to outflank the organizers of a comic-book convention. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if some Teamsters showed up, blocked the exits, and burnt the place down, cosplay girls and all. (/Film)
Back to work, you rebel rousing scum.Yes, the Deepwater Horizon rig may finally be capped, but another oily disaster is now unfolding. The cast of Jersey Shore is threatening to strike.TMZ is reporting that cast members are so disappointed with their season 3 contracts that they are refusing to shoot, as they feel they can making more money "doing appearances" than filming the series.You know, back in the late 1800's, when a bunch of upstart "guidos" would try to unionize, the employer would hire some union busting thugs to go in and smash some heads. If MTV followed suit and made an example of The Situation by breaking his jaw in several places, I think the rest of the cast would fall in to line posthaste.
I'm here to fix the air conditioning.Christopher Nolan was ejected from a screening of Inception over the weekend. At least that's the sensational way to write it.Nolan was watching his latest blockbuster at the Arclight Cinerama in Los Angeles when, at about 100 minutes into the film, the screen went black and the patrons were asked to leave. The reason? A faulty air conditioning unit. The temperature in the theater was so warm that management decided to pull the plug, much to the dismay of those in attendance.According to our source, everyone in the theater was told about the broken air conditioning before buying a ticket. This made the decision to pull the plug even more infuriating. However, I'd imagine many of those angry fans were placated when they spotted Nolan and actor Dileep Rao signing autographs. But that wouldn't do much good for Nolan who probably cried himself to sleep that night…while wearing a Batman costume and lying on a huge pile of money. (CinemaBlend)
In 1968, Pegg would have been two years old, so either he's got a doppelganger out there, or he's REALLY into "Quantum Leap."
Yo James! Time to get my blue ass paid again, bitch!James Cameron spent all of his money on hookers and underwater robots. The rest he just squandered. But those robots gotta eat, and now that the famed director is officially out of cash, he needs a way to make a quick buck before he has a full-blown cyborg uprising on his hands. Enter Avatar Special Edition. For roughly $15 dollars, you can see a movie that you paid to see less than a year ago. As if that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is not enough, there are also eight minutes of never before seen footage. That's only about $2 per minute. Compare that to your average 90's phone sex hot-line, and you'll find it's a bargain. Rumor has it that all they did was add five extra steps to every running scene. That might not sound like much, but remember, it's in 3D! See the TV trailer for Avatar Special Edition after the jump…
A delicious, nutritious, radioactive snack.
Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia Autotuned – Watch more Funny VideosBy far one of the best uses of autotune technology to date. FX always puts together some terrific promos for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," often looking to viral videos for inspiration, whick often look to T-Pain for inspiration. Can we please get a full length version of autotuned "The Nightman" on iTunes as soon as possible?"Always Sunny" returns to FX Thursday, September 16 at 10PM. (HitFix)
ATTENTION! ATTENTION!! There is a new picture of Olivia Wilde on the Internet. Normally I don't post banners, but when the key ingredients are Olivia Wilde, tight clothing, and a Bai Ling wig, it's my duty to pass it on to you so that you may gawk until your Saturday reaches the appropriate hour to begin drinking.
Heyuguys premiered the seventh Tron Legacy banner that shows Olivia poised to throw the sh*t out of a Sharper Image White Noise Machine. This is exactly why they can't have nice things in the Wilde household.
SEE THE FULL BANNER AFTER THE JUMP…
"We can't live at a crowded water park, Waldo!"
Sasha Butterface joins the news team.Here are your weekend links.'Childrens Hospital' Set Visit With The Hilarious Cast (TVSquad)'Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World' In Order To Get A Girl (Asylum)The Slushee Cup Contest Winner (HolyTaco)Jamon, Jamon: A Film Where Women Eat Men & Men Eat Ham (FilmDrunk)Maxim's Movie Title Translator (Maxim)Dude Gets Knocked Out With A 7 Pound Dildo (BarStoolSports)32 Jaw-Dropping Sports Injuries (EgoTV)You Can't Resist Her, She's In Your Bones (Pajiba)Green Lantern Costume Is Unreal In A Bad Way(Unreality)Athlete Loses His Pants While Gambling (TotalProSports)Sex-Ed In Kindergarten (Smosh)Top 10 White Trash Movie Girls (BroBible)Jennifer Lopez Shows Her Big Butt For Attention (CelebJihad)Hot Russian Girls In Bikinis Invade Ring Girl Casting Shoot (CagePotato)Writer Sees Parallels In Life And 'The Kids Are All Right' (PopEater)Man Drives A Volvo 3 Million Miles (MadeMan)
"My ice cream melted." Will Smith is remixing the Bible with his new project. Smith is now attached to star in and produce The Legend Of Cain, a retelling of the story of Cain and Abel. The script, co-written by Jada's brother Caleeb Pinkett, adds a vampiric twist to the tale of sibling rivalry. I know that adding monsters to classic works is the rage nowadays, but this is borderline insulting and sure to drum up controversy. Everybody knows there weren't any vampires in the Bible. Unless, of course, you read Mel Gibson's version. (Deadline)
Wyck Godrey, producer of the Twilight Saga, spoke with Fearnet the other day and confirmed that Amy Adams will indeed be playing the subject of the Janis Joplin biopic, should it ever actually happen. Fernando Meirelles (City of God) is attached to direct, but no studio has signed on and it doesn't seem there's even a completed script. So basically they've secured an actress and a director for a movie with no money or story. Hey, it hasn't stopped the porn industry from thriving.Speaking of sex, is Amy Adams the best actress to portray a drug-addled nymphomaniac such as Joplin? I look at Adams and assume she's never even seen a penis or hypodermic needle, let alone had both inside of her at the same time. She's really going to have to step outside her comfort level to fully embrace the role, or take a boatload of drugs to get through the ordeal. Hey, it hasn't stopped the porn industry from thriving. (Deadline)
You crazy for this one, Roger Corman! Sharktopus is a good film. An important film. It warns us of the dangers of creating the perfect killing machine and then being ignorant enough to think we can harness its awesome might. In a world of Mega-Pirahnas and Gateroids and Supercrocs and big-ass pythons, you'd think we'd learn that lesson by now. But obviously we have not, and Roger Corman and Syfy are here with the chilling reminder that if you mess with the shark-octopus hybrid monster, you get the spike-tipped tentacle. I don't know what amazes me more, the fact that the special effects look as good as they do, or the things that Eric Roberts will do for cocaine. I mean, money. For cocaine. WATCH THE TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP. TRUST ME, IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.
I realize that you've probably had it up to here **places hand above crotch** with Mel Gibson mashups, but a fellow who goes by the name Oliver Noble **places hand above crotch** edited one for FilmDrunk that's pretty damn funny. It imagines a world where Mel Gibson is a script doctor whose contribution to material on the cusp of greatness is adding felatio punch-ups. Some people get paid good money for such work, and here ol' Mel is spewing genius out for free. Let's secure the man a literary agent, and yesterday!
We all know Kiele Sanchez from the infamous third season of "LOST," and now we find her hot tanned body wadding through the Florida everglades in A&E's new cop drama "The Glades." While she mainly uses her luscious talents on the small screen, check out her physical prowess in the under appreached The Perfect Getaway, where she goes mano-a-mano with tough babe Milla Jovovich.A word from Kiele: "Don't look at me like that."Like what? More pics of Kiele's tan torso after the jump.
More news ripped from the pages of this week's Entertainment Weekly. Here's a first look at the girls of Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. I'll be frank for a minute and you be Shirley — I was expecting a sexier crew of ass-kicking females. The group consists of Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Emily Browning, Jena Malone, and Jamie Chung, all individually super hot actresses, yet when put together they look like they're shuffling to a nearby cot for a nap. Scott Glenn even fits right in, which should never be the case.Maybe it's the grim landscape that's bringing everyone down. I vote that the next batch of stills be set at the beach or a car wash. I realize that the movie takes place in a mental institution, but there's gotta be a way to work a car wash in. Take a left past the schizo wing and tell the man at the desk what air freshener you'd like. (ComingSoon)
Great googley-moogley. Sofia Vergara has a sister. And she's hot. And judging from the picture above, that sister has a friend who is a photographer/dentist. But wait, there's more! She's also an actress, and has just been cast in Craig Gillespie's Fright Night remake. Sandra Vergara will play the girlfriend and assistant to David Tennant's magician turned reluctant vampire hunter. F*cking magicians, man. Always pulling top-notch ass. No matter how fugly/creepy/gropey they are as people. Never thought I'd rue the day that I didn't learn to juggle. (THR)
Miss New England 2008 Attractive women in New England are few and far between, so when you meet one you had better jump on it. It doesn't matter where you meet. The bar, the Market Basket, and the bank that you are currently robbing are all perfectly acceptable places to pick up a comely, young lass. And that's exactly what Ben Affleck does in the trailer for his second directorial effort The Town. In this daring sequel, Jeremy Renner plays Will Hunting and Affleck reprises his role as Chuckie, who are now bank robbers inexplicably (note to self: fact check this later). Chuckie meets Rebecca Hall during a robbery and develops an attraction to her, even though he's got Blake Lively at home in denim cut-offs. Then Don Draper shows up and is all Mr. FBI Guy and there are a few shoot-outs and Slipknot masks. All in all, it looks really good! I'll see it. WATCH A MOODY MEDITATION ON WHAT DRIVES ONE TO STEAL, AND ALSO BLAKE LIVELY IN DENIM CUT-OFFS AFTER THE JUMP…
World War IV is barely underway, but Warner Bros. just can’t help itself from jumping the gun. The studio is already planning the launch of World War X, a film "centered on a man recruited by a team of government agents to stop a terrorist from the future who is using time travel to reshape history." As my colleague Wookie Johnson pointed out, this film smells an awful lot like Time Cop, which actually smells a lot like a Belgian hooker's dirty panties, which smells a lot like overused cologne. I think there’s a Van Damme joke in there somewhere. (Coming Soon)
For those of you who have been praying for another Ghostbusters sequel, you obviously need to pray more clearly. Unfortunately, it seems god misunderstood your pleas, and has mistakenly provided you with another Ghost Rider sequel. This is assuming that Nicolas Cage is telling the truth, and not simply tripping balls on shrooms he took with his cat. On tonight’s episode of "The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson", Cage revealed he had just signed the deal to return to star in Ghost Rider 2. The actor also confirmed that Neveldine/Taylor (Crank) will direct. I’ve been told to be more positive when I write, so here goes nothing. Considering the original Ghost Rider has a 25% favorable rating at Rotten Tomatoes, the sequel has nowhere to go but up. That wasn’t so hard! (Collider)
I hope you like movies about assholes, because Aaron Sorkin is working on one. The famed writer will make his directorial début with The Politician, a film about John Edwards, arguably one of the greatest assholes in American history. The film will chronicle Edwards' meteoric rise as a politician, and his hilarious fall from grace. I can't wait to see the part where Edwards cheats on his cancer ridden wife and accidentally knocks up his idiot, new-age mistress. That part always makes me chuckle. (Empire)
Well someone's certainly got a potty mouth.
Hot Girls Reenact Predator – Watch more Funny VideosIf I have one complaint about the original Predator, it's that it's a bit of a sausage fest. Problem solved. (ToplessRobot)These links weren't made on a shoestring budget.Dos And Don'ts of Facebook Dating (ModernMan) Sons, League, Philly, and More:FX New Fall Season (TVSquad) Horned Man Caught After Trying To Kill Landlord With Minivan (Asylum) 25 Chick Fight Videos (HolyTaco) Another Day, Another Mel Gibson Phone Call (FilmDrunk) Best Pissed-Off Police Chiefs (Maxim) 'Temperature Rising' Video Made My Dick Explode (BarStoolSports) One-Armed Man Charged With Unarmed Robbery (EgoTV) Netflix's Most Rented Movies Of All Time (Pajiba) Four Properties Of Movie Vampires (Unreality) Bike Rider Turned Roadkill (TotalProSports) Lilo Goes Topless Before Going To Jail (Smosh) 10 Rules About Pregnant Fight Club (BroBible) The Jonas Brothers Aren't That Innocent Looking After All (CelebJihad) The 7 Worst Predictions In CagePotato History (CagePotato) Alyssa Milano Throws Down A Challenge To The Old Spice Guy (PopEater) Take Your First Flight Lesson (MadeMan)
In case you're too poor to buy or too chicken to steal this week's issue of Entertainment Weekly featuring Green Lantern photos, I've got five more of them here for you. I gave you the cover this morning, but you just don't let up. Question: If Peter Sarsgaard had a five-head before donning the Hector Hammond prosthetic, then what do you call his new look? You call it a missed opportunity to show more pics of Blake Lively. I'm totally digging her as a brunette. Unhand her, Ryan Reynolds! Blake's mole belongs to me now!Check out the scanned images (because SOMEONE doesn't have an issue breaking the law) after the jump…
**SPOILER ALERT** The crackpot team of Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay have done it again. They've come up with a beginning for their movie. All good filmmakers know a film needs a beginning, and Transformers 3 will be no exception. I don't want to ruin it for those who didn't lose interest in the franchise after Bay introduced racist robots, so I'll just say upfront that it involves the moon, which we already knew. It does not, however, involve E.T., which my hilariously misleading above picture suggests. That's photoshopped, by the way.If you want to ruin the opening scene of Transformers 3 for yourself, check out CHUD's scoop after the jump…
What the hell is she holding?Early reports that Amber Heard would play Mystique in Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class were sexy… but wrong. That role is actually going to Winter's Bone star Jennifer Lawrence. The rising star will be coated in blue bodypaint to play the shapeshifter after she wraps the horror film The House at the End of the Street.With this announcement, also comes the news that Kevin Bacon will in fact play the film's villian. Which means, if you see him beating up any schoolchildren in England in the next few months, just keep walking. Just making a movie. Nothing to see there. (THR)
Depp and Burton are the next Sad Keanus.The days of nobody knowing what the hell Tim Burton is directing next have come to an end. Dark Shadows starring Johnny Depp (and probably Helena Bonham Carter) will be inked in next to sketches of mawkish bats in the director's day planner. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter author Seth Grahame-Smith is taking over scripting duties from long-time Burton collaborater John August, to adapt the spooky 1960's soap opera. Filming begins in February with Johnny Depp playing the vampire Barnabas Collins. We'll keep you updated on which goofy wig he'll end up in this time. (Deadline)
Depp and Burton are the next Sad Keanus.