Trespassers will be shot on sight at Bay's candy mansion.
We've been patiently waiting to see what Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, and Tommy Wirkola have in store with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. It looks like Michael Bay doesn't have the kind of patience we do. He's decided to make his own effects-driven Hansel & Gretel movie in lederhosen-crapping 3D!!
Not much is known about the project besides filming is slated to begin in the Spring of 2011, and that Avatar designer Joseph C. Pepe has been hired to bring the monsters of German mythology to life. Bay is not expected to direct, which is a shame. I'd love to watch set videos of him screaming at chubby German children. Oh well. Maybe there's hope that he'll guest-direct an episode of "Two and a Half Men." (Press Release)
The iconic Captain Pike.
Experts claimed that there would never ever be another Star Trek film. Despite their assurances, director J.J. Abrams is scheduled to begin shooting a sequel in January, according to actor Bruce Greenwood. As you'll remember, Greenwood played everyone's favorite Enterprise Captain, Christopher Pike.
"I just know that the plan is to film it in January, more than that, I don't know," Greenwood said, adding that he hoped to have a role in the movie.
While there is no word on the script, I'm hoping it involves time travel. I just think it's really neat, and it's only been used as a major plot point in about a third of all the Star Trek films, so it's still fresh. (Coming Soon)
Do you like mobsters? Do you like zombies? Do you like computer animation? If so, you'll probably love The Goon, a new animated film based on the Dark Horse comic. The film follows the exploits of a mob enforcer and his sidekick as they navigate through a world filled with the supernatural.Clancy Brown voices The Goon, and Paul Giamatti takes on the roll of his sidekick Franky in this David Fincher produced film. At this point, the director still remains a mystery. Perhaps I'll ask Giamatti and Fincher about it personally at their upcoming Comic-Con panel. Oh wait, I'm not going because no one thought to invite the overnight guy. (Empire)Watch the teaser trailer for The Goon after the jump.
M. Night Shyamalan received a less than cordial question from a foreign reporter while promoting his latest film, The Last Airbender, and the director did not mince words in his reply. “I think if I thought like you, I’d kill myself” Shyamalan told the reporter who basically accused the director of selling out in a bid to revive his floundering career. While any director would have bristled at such a rude question, Shyamalan's response would seem to indicate that the reporter hit close to home. And the fact that M. Night felt the need to describe how popular his movies are in France really didn't help his case.Here's hoping Shyamalan's next project, Devil, doesn't suck, so we can all look back on this and laugh nervously, and then maybe hump on each other like monkeys do when they get nervous. What? I saw it on Animal Planet. See sh*t get real for M. Night after the jump.
Pug Yells Batman – Watch more Funny VideosNa nuh na nuh na nuh na nuh…Here are your adorable links. 'Mad Men' Resets Itself In Season 4 *Spoilers* (TVSquad) Seeking The Meaning Of 'Inception'? (Asylum) 25 Videos Of Stripper Pole Mishaps (HolyTaco) Ben Affleck Directs 'Nawt Anothah Bawston Cawp Movie' (FilmDrunk) Foxie Fonzies Babe Pictures (Maxim) Girls With Small Boobs Are Dumb (BarStoolSports) 8-Bit Version Summary Of Ghostbusters (EgoTV) 'SOL' Trailer: 'Lord Of The Flies' In Space? (Pajiba) An Absurdly Old School 'E.T.' Video Game Commerical (Unreality) Here Is Another Baseball Fan Getting Tased (TotalProSports) The Annual NYC Naked Bike Ride (Smosh) The 6 Types Of Chicks You'll Meet At A Dave Matthews Concert (BroBible) Betty White And Joe Jonas Are Dating (Celebjihad) CagePotato.com Is Going To UFC Fan Expo, Will You Be There? (CagePotato) Amazon Rainforest Inhabitants Love 'Avatar' (PopEater) The IPhone DSLR Rig (MadeMan)
Bieber practices for his wedding night. Diminutive singing child Justin Bieber has announced his plans to break into Hollywood. Not only will the sheepdog-banged heartthrob be seen in Gary Marshall's Valentine's Day follow-up New Year's Eve, but will also star in a biopic about his own life. Please shout the specifics at us, HollywoodLife: The Biebster is about to become a movie star! HollywoodLife.com can exclusively confirm that a script similar to the 2002 film 8 Mile is in development – and close to completion! “There currently isn’t a final script, but just like Eminem did in 8 Mile, Justin will star!” an industry insider tells us. Ow! My ears. No one other than "the Biebster" has been attached just yet, but I'm excited to see Usher wear those Mekhi Phiffer 8 Mile dreadlocks when Pubeless: The Justin Bieber Story comes to theaters Christmas Day 2011.
MTV News went behind the scenes of AMC's "The Walking Dead," currently shooting in Atlanta, and snagged some awesome footage of a tank with zombies surrounding it. The show will be about more than that, but a tank with zombies surrounding it is always a good start. The author of the graphic novel, Robert Kirkman, and writer/executive producer/director of the pilot, Frank Darabont, give us some inside info on the zombie apocalypse series, the latter while wearing a Hawaiian shirt, of course. Needless to say, I'm amped for "The Walking Dead" to premiere in October. Since the leaves don't change color in L.A., it's all I have to look forward to.Check out the video after the jump…
Last week on "True Blood," Tara got abducted by Franklin and he brought her to the King of Mississippi. Sookie and Alcide went to a werewolf party where they found out the King is giving the asshole werewolves his blood. Bill joined the King, broke up with Sookie, and then ate a stripper with the King and his ex, Lorena. The Magister found Eric's V operation and Eric blamed it on Bill. Sam gave his family a place to live and his brother a job. Jason blackmailed Andy into making him a cop. That's basically the important stuff. This week I'm changing things up a bit so I don't have to constantly shift back-and-forth between plot lines. I'll do them in solid chunks, so realize that the recap that follows isn't necessarily the chronology of the episode. RECAP AFTER THE JUMP…
The Wolfman is regarded as a collossal failure and that's due in no small part to its complete lack of girl-on-girl (I'm assuming). That's a mistake the upcoming lesbian werewolf film Jack & Diane does not intend to make. Though I am afraid it may alienate John Mellencamp fans.
Australian pop star Kylie Minogue has now joined the project to play a "heavily tattooed lesbian." She'll be working with Juno Temple and Riley Keough, who play hot teens who must deal with the hardships of transforming into a werewolf. Surprisingly Mischa Barton is not involved with this project in any way. (NY Post)
Missy Peregrym is one of those TV exclusive babes with her work ranging from "The Chris Issac Show," the underappreciated "Reaper," and now ABC's Canadian import "Rookie Blue." A Canadian native herself, like many recent friendly neighbors to the North actresses, she can be sexy but also kick your ass.A word from Missy: "Soccer can be incredibly aggressive, that’s one of the reasons I like it so much."You'd be surprised how intense a game of badminton can get. I've dirtied my knees on several occasions.More pics of Canuck Missy after the jump.
Ever since the news that an Anchorman sequel would not happen, I've been very sad. Food doesn't taste right and I don't notice the birds singing anymore. The news should make no one sadder than director Adam McKay, who seems to have accepted the loss. In fact, he's looking onward and upward. ScreenJunkies caught up with the director of The Other Guys over the weekend and he told us he's interested in bringing back Brennan and Dale for a sequel to the cult comedy Step Brothers. That poses important questions. Where would he take the characters? How have they grown?? And why doesn't he secretly film an Anchorman sequel using the Step Brothers funding? If not for me, do it for Christina Applegate. FIND OUT THE STEP BROTHERS 2 PLOT DETAILS AFTER THE JUMP…
Tobias is joining Gob on the new Mitch Hurwitz-created sitcom, "Running Wilde." It's as close to an "Arrested Development" reunion as we're going to get for awhile, or maybe ever. According to TV Guide, David Cross will appear on the show's first seven episodes:'Wilde' centers on the budding relationship between Steve Wilde (Arnett), a spoiled and selfish man-child and son of an oil tycoon, and Emily Kabdubic (Keri Russell) an environmental activist and Steve's old high school flame. Cross will play Andy, Emily's fiancé, a radical environmentalist and Wilde's rival for Emily's affections. The comedian takes over the role from Andrew Daly, who played the part in the show's original pilot.Looks like we all now have a new sitcom to watch this fall. Only time will tell if it will be as genius as "Arrested," a tall order to say the least, or if it will even remain on air after its initial 13 episode order. "Running Wilde's" success depends solely on the people sitting in their recliners as the warm glow of Mark Harmon on "NCIS" softly lules them to sleep.Catch the premiere of "Running Wilde" Tuesday, September 21 at 9:30PM on FOX. (TVSquad)
The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos is right around the corner, and in case you weren't aware, the Big Money Rustlas in charge put together this hilarious/terrifying infomercial to learn you. Remind me to stay clear of Cave In Rock, Illinois from August 12-15. Holy crap. The festival touts that it's all about love and friendship, but I'm sure I caught a glimpse of a shanked tourist laying in the muddy camp grounds amongst the frantic ICP fans. You can expect comedians, sideshows, contests, games, and seminars, the most popular of which will be: F*ckin' Magnets: How Do They Work? Attendees will stare in awe at the magic of the universe all around them as Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J make an inspirational quote stick to a refrigerator door. Check out the infomercial below.
The LA Times has premiered a new pic of the Hall Of Asgard from Marvel's big-screen Thor. In the photo, we see Thor kneeling before Odin as Loki, Frigga, Fandal the Dashing, and Hogun the Grim look on. I don't want to be blasphemous just in case there is a God and he's played by Anthony Hopkins, but this is the Hall Of Asgard? It looks more like the set for a porno awards show. I haven't heard of any plans to have Ron Jeremy accept a Lifetime Achievement Award in the film, but maybe Kenneth Branagh will include that after the credits or as a DVD Easter Egg.
When Comic-Con told the The Weinstein Company that their Piranha 3D footage was too graphic for the "family friendly" event, they pulled out of the planned panel. But now comes word that the company is taking it one step further, saying f*** you to Comic-Con by hosting an off-site, nighttime event of their own featuring the rejected footage. TWC and director Alexandre Aja originally planned to show off a sequence where a wet T-shirt contest turns into a total massacre as prehistoric fish chomp waterlogged fun-seekers into meat. It’s the sequence that has been teased in the trailers and pre-release images, and one that sounds like one of the film’s planned showstopper setpieces. I guess it should come as no surprise that the Weinstein Brothers, two of the most powerful men in Hollywood, found a way to outflank the organizers of a comic-book convention. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if some Teamsters showed up, blocked the exits, and burnt the place down, cosplay girls and all. (/Film)
Back to work, you rebel rousing scum.Yes, the Deepwater Horizon rig may finally be capped, but another oily disaster is now unfolding. The cast of Jersey Shore is threatening to strike.TMZ is reporting that cast members are so disappointed with their season 3 contracts that they are refusing to shoot, as they feel they can making more money "doing appearances" than filming the series.You know, back in the late 1800's, when a bunch of upstart "guidos" would try to unionize, the employer would hire some union busting thugs to go in and smash some heads. If MTV followed suit and made an example of The Situation by breaking his jaw in several places, I think the rest of the cast would fall in to line posthaste.
I'm here to fix the air conditioning.Christopher Nolan was ejected from a screening of Inception over the weekend. At least that's the sensational way to write it.Nolan was watching his latest blockbuster at the Arclight Cinerama in Los Angeles when, at about 100 minutes into the film, the screen went black and the patrons were asked to leave. The reason? A faulty air conditioning unit. The temperature in the theater was so warm that management decided to pull the plug, much to the dismay of those in attendance.According to our source, everyone in the theater was told about the broken air conditioning before buying a ticket. This made the decision to pull the plug even more infuriating. However, I'd imagine many of those angry fans were placated when they spotted Nolan and actor Dileep Rao signing autographs. But that wouldn't do much good for Nolan who probably cried himself to sleep that night…while wearing a Batman costume and lying on a huge pile of money. (CinemaBlend)
In 1968, Pegg would have been two years old, so either he's got a doppelganger out there, or he's REALLY into "Quantum Leap."
Yo James! Time to get my blue ass paid again, bitch!James Cameron spent all of his money on hookers and underwater robots. The rest he just squandered. But those robots gotta eat, and now that the famed director is officially out of cash, he needs a way to make a quick buck before he has a full-blown cyborg uprising on his hands. Enter Avatar Special Edition. For roughly $15 dollars, you can see a movie that you paid to see less than a year ago. As if that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is not enough, there are also eight minutes of never before seen footage. That's only about $2 per minute. Compare that to your average 90's phone sex hot-line, and you'll find it's a bargain. Rumor has it that all they did was add five extra steps to every running scene. That might not sound like much, but remember, it's in 3D! See the TV trailer for Avatar Special Edition after the jump…
A delicious, nutritious, radioactive snack.
Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia Autotuned – Watch more Funny VideosBy far one of the best uses of autotune technology to date. FX always puts together some terrific promos for "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia," often looking to viral videos for inspiration, whick often look to T-Pain for inspiration. Can we please get a full length version of autotuned "The Nightman" on iTunes as soon as possible?"Always Sunny" returns to FX Thursday, September 16 at 10PM. (HitFix)
ATTENTION! ATTENTION!! There is a new picture of Olivia Wilde on the Internet. Normally I don't post banners, but when the key ingredients are Olivia Wilde, tight clothing, and a Bai Ling wig, it's my duty to pass it on to you so that you may gawk until your Saturday reaches the appropriate hour to begin drinking.
Heyuguys premiered the seventh Tron Legacy banner that shows Olivia poised to throw the sh*t out of a Sharper Image White Noise Machine. This is exactly why they can't have nice things in the Wilde household.
SEE THE FULL BANNER AFTER THE JUMP…
"We can't live at a crowded water park, Waldo!"
Sasha Butterface joins the news team.Here are your weekend links.'Childrens Hospital' Set Visit With The Hilarious Cast (TVSquad)'Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World' In Order To Get A Girl (Asylum)The Slushee Cup Contest Winner (HolyTaco)Jamon, Jamon: A Film Where Women Eat Men & Men Eat Ham (FilmDrunk)Maxim's Movie Title Translator (Maxim)Dude Gets Knocked Out With A 7 Pound Dildo (BarStoolSports)32 Jaw-Dropping Sports Injuries (EgoTV)You Can't Resist Her, She's In Your Bones (Pajiba)Green Lantern Costume Is Unreal In A Bad Way(Unreality)Athlete Loses His Pants While Gambling (TotalProSports)Sex-Ed In Kindergarten (Smosh)Top 10 White Trash Movie Girls (BroBible)Jennifer Lopez Shows Her Big Butt For Attention (CelebJihad)Hot Russian Girls In Bikinis Invade Ring Girl Casting Shoot (CagePotato)Writer Sees Parallels In Life And 'The Kids Are All Right' (PopEater)Man Drives A Volvo 3 Million Miles (MadeMan)
"My ice cream melted." Will Smith is remixing the Bible with his new project. Smith is now attached to star in and produce The Legend Of Cain, a retelling of the story of Cain and Abel. The script, co-written by Jada's brother Caleeb Pinkett, adds a vampiric twist to the tale of sibling rivalry. I know that adding monsters to classic works is the rage nowadays, but this is borderline insulting and sure to drum up controversy. Everybody knows there weren't any vampires in the Bible. Unless, of course, you read Mel Gibson's version. (Deadline)
Wyck Godrey, producer of the Twilight Saga, spoke with Fearnet the other day and confirmed that Amy Adams will indeed be playing the subject of the Janis Joplin biopic, should it ever actually happen. Fernando Meirelles (City of God) is attached to direct, but no studio has signed on and it doesn't seem there's even a completed script. So basically they've secured an actress and a director for a movie with no money or story. Hey, it hasn't stopped the porn industry from thriving.Speaking of sex, is Amy Adams the best actress to portray a drug-addled nymphomaniac such as Joplin? I look at Adams and assume she's never even seen a penis or hypodermic needle, let alone had both inside of her at the same time. She's really going to have to step outside her comfort level to fully embrace the role, or take a boatload of drugs to get through the ordeal. Hey, it hasn't stopped the porn industry from thriving. (Deadline)
You crazy for this one, Roger Corman! Sharktopus is a good film. An important film. It warns us of the dangers of creating the perfect killing machine and then being ignorant enough to think we can harness its awesome might. In a world of Mega-Pirahnas and Gateroids and Supercrocs and big-ass pythons, you'd think we'd learn that lesson by now. But obviously we have not, and Roger Corman and Syfy are here with the chilling reminder that if you mess with the shark-octopus hybrid monster, you get the spike-tipped tentacle. I don't know what amazes me more, the fact that the special effects look as good as they do, or the things that Eric Roberts will do for cocaine. I mean, money. For cocaine. WATCH THE TRAILER AFTER THE JUMP. TRUST ME, IT DOES NOT DISAPPOINT.
I realize that you've probably had it up to here **places hand above crotch** with Mel Gibson mashups, but a fellow who goes by the name Oliver Noble **places hand above crotch** edited one for FilmDrunk that's pretty damn funny. It imagines a world where Mel Gibson is a script doctor whose contribution to material on the cusp of greatness is adding felatio punch-ups. Some people get paid good money for such work, and here ol' Mel is spewing genius out for free. Let's secure the man a literary agent, and yesterday!
We all know Kiele Sanchez from the infamous third season of "LOST," and now we find her hot tanned body wadding through the Florida everglades in A&E's new cop drama "The Glades." While she mainly uses her luscious talents on the small screen, check out her physical prowess in the under appreached The Perfect Getaway, where she goes mano-a-mano with tough babe Milla Jovovich.A word from Kiele: "Don't look at me like that."Like what? More pics of Kiele's tan torso after the jump.
More news ripped from the pages of this week's Entertainment Weekly. Here's a first look at the girls of Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. I'll be frank for a minute and you be Shirley — I was expecting a sexier crew of ass-kicking females. The group consists of Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Emily Browning, Jena Malone, and Jamie Chung, all individually super hot actresses, yet when put together they look like they're shuffling to a nearby cot for a nap. Scott Glenn even fits right in, which should never be the case.Maybe it's the grim landscape that's bringing everyone down. I vote that the next batch of stills be set at the beach or a car wash. I realize that the movie takes place in a mental institution, but there's gotta be a way to work a car wash in. Take a left past the schizo wing and tell the man at the desk what air freshener you'd like. (ComingSoon)