This weekend, Scott Pilgrim will be bus fighting "the world," who in this instance are the seven evil ex-boyfriends of Ramona V. Flowers. He’ll be going through all this just…
Elvis's hot granddaughter Riley Keough is in talks to join Mad Max: Fury Road. Should she end up in the role, she'll play one of the "Five Wives," a convoy of women that Tom Hardy must protect. Polygamy is sooo hot right now. Joining Keough in the spouse pile are Zoe Kravitz, Teresa Palmer, and Adelaide Clemens. No word yet on who will say I do to playing the fifth wifey.
Hey, it's a good thing Mel Gibson isn't part of this sequel, right? Because he and wives? You know? That whole thing that's happening. You know what I'm talking about. (THR)
Here’s the third installment of your guide to the new fall TV shows and this time I dish out wisdom about the sitcoms centered around a family. Please don't confuse these shows with 'family sitcoms' — the shows like "Full House" and the one with Urkel that were ‘kid safe’ and painfully lacking in humor. These are sitcoms that are made for adults and just happen to be about a family. There aren't many of these debuting this fall, but there is one you definitely want to tune in to.
WATCH IT: “$#*! My Dad Says” (CBS), Thursdays at 8:30 pm (ET)
He missed Comic Con, but it seems any large gathering will do. Even at the risk of being curbed. The Sturgis Motorcycle Rally was overtaken by nuuuurds yesterday when Pee-wee Herman appeared at the Buffalo Chip campground. Pee-wee shared the bill with Ozzy, Kid Rock, ZZ Top, and Bob Dylan, and also led the world's largest Tequila Dance in honor of National Tequila Day (which I missed so I'll start celebrating immediatshillayly arriba arriba!!!).
"Bob Dylan is here because people like him and Pee-wee is here for the same reason," said Buffalo Chip owner Rod Woodruff. "They are both American icons." Oooooo, I can't wait to see what Cate Blanchett will do with the porn theater scene in Herman's inevitable biopic. (Huffington Post)
Good news, John Carter Of Mars fans (both of you).
Disney has set a release date for the film. Now the two of you can plan ahead and drive together. What, you don't even live in the same state? Well, considering the film won't be coming out until June 8th, 2012, you've got plenty of time to coordinate.
For those of you who aren't in "the know," the film is based on the sci-fi books of Edgar Rice Burroughs, and will be shown in 3D. Considering the likelihood of scantly-clad Martian women, this is one 3D production I think we can all agree on.
See dad, I'm not gay. Why would I want to look at boobs in 3D if I was gay? ANSWER ME! (Hollywood Reporter)
I'll take the one on the right. No, just one is fine.
TLC has taken another step in its insatiable quest to find rock bottom. The network's new reality show, "Sister Wives," will chronicle the lives of a group of fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy. It's like a double episode of "Wife Swap," except with just one guy and no swapping.
But in case you think the producers are simply exploiting the lives of a bunch of religious fanatics for ratings, think again. They actually care about these people. As it turns out, they're just like you or me…except for the whole "cult" thing.
“They are very much a modern family. They are open-minded. They are generally adorable,” said Bill Hayes, president of North Carolina-based Figure 8 Films and co-executive producer of the show. “Their children were so well behaved and polite and healthy and happy,” he added. “Pardon the cliche, but the proof was in the pudding. I thought, ‘What a bunch of great young people, and there was nothing strange about them.’"
You know, he has a point. Maybe there's nothing strange about a group of women being used as a human puppy mill, as long as their children are well behaved, and provided they don't shoot me during their apocalyptic final battle with the federal government. After all, a single mom lives next door, and I'm pretty sure her kids are running a meth lab. Perhaps four moms is the way to go. (Warming Glow)
The people of Queensland, Australia, might want to throw another shrimp on the barbie (unless shrimp falls into the whole shellfish/non-kosher category, in which case a nice brisket might be more in order).
Stephen Spielberg has chosen the land down under as the filming location for his new TV series, "Terra Nova," Coming Soon has confirmed.
"We wanted this ambitious series to look like no other on television and Queensland provided the best of all possible worlds," executive vice president of production, Jim Sharp added. "Queensland had the right look, climate and terrain…"
Considering the show is about a group of scientists from the future who travel back 85 million years to prehistoric Earth, I'm not exactly sure that's a ringing endorsement for Queensland tourism bureau.
Come to Queensland: "The Land That Time Forgot!"
He's still alive, you sick bastard!
Experiment with these links.
Countdown To 'The Expendables': 'Cobra' (1986) (MovieHopping)
'Mad Men' Moment: Don Says Goodbye (TVSquad)
Times Square's Pop-Tarts World Is What's For Breakfast (Asylum)
Alien 5; De-Resurrection The Unseen Script (HolyTaco)
Sly Stallone Auditioned For Han Solo In 'Star Wars' (FilmDrunk)
FunnyMan: The Legend Of Adam McKay (Maxim)
Barstool NYC Local Smokeshow Of The Day- Ariana (BarStoolSports)
9 Reasons Tom Hanks Should Go To Hell (EgoTV)
Women Don't Hate You, Sam Rockwell (Pajiba)
80s Sitcoms That Are Still On TV All The Time (Unreality)
Kung-Fu Kicks Becoming An Epidemic In Soccer (TotalProSports)
Cop Busts 7-Year-Old's Lemonade Stand (Smosh)
The Top 10 Pot-Smoking Follies (BroBible)
Ashley Greene Bikini Pictures (CelebJihad)
Justin Bieber Struck By Errant Water Bottle In Concert (PopEater)
Humorous Hotties (MadeMen)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! Would you pick this up from a store display? Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo announced to Spinner that the cover of the band's new album "Hurley" will feature the face of Jorge Garcia, who played Hurley on "Lost." He tries to explain but I still don't understand:
"I just loved this photo of Jorge Garcia — it just had this amazing vibe. We didn't want to do a fourth self-titled record and we knew people would refer to it as 'the Hurley record' even if left it without that title, so we just called it 'Hurley.' No words are on the cover because all we wanted was his amazing face."
Thank you, Rivers, for making me feel a whole lot better about my face. Unless by "amazing" you mean perplexing and slightly off-putting. Than NO thank you. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm putting the finishing touches on my "Marty" demo cover.
Looks like someone is finally willing to make a movie about Abraham Lincoln. The unspell-checkable Timur Bekmambetov has signed on to direct Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Here he explains his plans with a dry, Tontoesque delivery:
"I'm prepping to direct myself. It is not a comedy at all – it is a very entertaining, epic history lesson for millions and millions of teenagers. If you remember 'Nightwatch,' it is maybe in the vein of that kind of movie. We are keeping the traditional look of Lincoln – the big hat and the beard. He has to be historically correct, but with a few special weapons. There is only one book, but there will be many opportunities to develop and explore this world if we get to do sequels. I hope we will start this winter. We are shooting in America."
I am excite to see this movie. No word yet casting of role of Abraham Lincoln. Actor will be tall. (Empire)
Previously on "True Blood," Sam helped his brother escape a vicious dog-fighting ring. Bill and Sookie tag-teamed Lorena, and not in a good way. Jason dug for info on Crystal. Sookie saved Bill's life by letting him feed on her and he went overboard and put her in a coma. Later, Bill saved Sookie from a really weird coma dream with a bunch of hippie fairies and then she freaked when she woke up and saw him. The King (of Mississippi AKA Russell) and Queen (of Louisiana) saved Pam and then the King tortured the Magister until he married them, then the King cut his head off. And now on to this week's episode…
More after the jump…
Warner Bros is moving ahead with plans for a second Green Lantern film by hiring Michael Goldenberg to handle scripting duties (as indicated by the hastily-Photoshopped typewriter above). Goldenberg has previously written Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix and Contact, as well as a rewrite on the first Green Lantern film. This move shows a lot of faith from the studio that the franchise will be a big hit. So prepare yourselves for the onslaught of marketing materials, because everywhere you look next summer you'll see little kids wearing novelty rings, eating green Whoppers, and suffering from skull gigantism caused by exposure to space radiation. (Variety)
Who wouldn't want to be Bruce Willis for a day? The man both on screen and off kicks ass, takes names, beds beautiful women, and even plays the harmonica. Ok, I'm willing to look past his Bruno days because he has us given such cool mofos over the years, from John McClane, Corbin Dallas, Joe Hallenback, and yes, even Hudson Hawk is a true favorite of mine.
Highly Debatable Best Role: John McClane in Die Hard
Appointed by President George W. Bush as national spokesman for Children in Foster Care.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Giselle Itie may be unknown in the states unless you flip through Telemondo channels late one night, but she is quite the popular novella star in Mexico and Brazil. Now she's spicing things up in the testosterone-packed The Expendables this week. Thank you Sly for adding some boobs to go with all the guns.
A word from Giselle: "For me it's not the looks in the man; it's his brains."
More pics of Giselle after the jump…
Some people are sick of Michael Cera's schtick. Then again, some people are sick of Will Ferrell's schtick and The Other Guys still banked 35 million bones this weekend. Obviously quirky character traits grow weary with time (just ask my girlfriend), but I'm not yet bothered by Cera's repeat bumbling everyman performances. If you're on the fence about seeing Scott Pilgrim vs. the World because you don't think you can stand Cera anymore, you should know he gets the sh*t beaten out of him in it. And now there's a fan-made ad that emphasizes that point.
Watch Michael Cera get punched in the face after the jump…
Over the years, Showtime has built an impressive stable of shows featuring strong but flawed women. Nancy Botwin from "Weeds" deals drugs, Jackie Peyton from "Nurse Jackie" takes drugs, and Belle from "Secret Diary of Call Girl" sells sex for money. Now we have Cathy Jamison from the upcoming "The Big C" to add to the group. She doesn't dabble in anything illegal, yet, but after she's diagnosed with cancer, she decides to let her freak flag fly.
You can watch the first episode right here, right now. It stars Laura Linney, Oliver Platt and Gabourey Sidibe, and is directed by Bill Condon (Kinsey, Dreamgirls). Let me know what you think in the comments section.
"The Big C" premieres on Showtime next Monday, August 16 at 10:30PM ET/PT.
See Laura Linney grab life by the balls after the jump…
Gay-mannequin-faced actor Cillian Murphy (pictured above commiting a hate crime) is close to taking a role in Andrew Niccol's upcoming dumbly-titled science fiction drama I'm.mortal. Murphy will join the pretty young cast of Amanda Seyfried and possibly Justin Timberlake, as a future cop known as a Timekeeper. He's said to be "precise as the time he keeps." Essentially, he hunts down those whose time has expired to ensure that everyone stays young and beautiful forever. Just imagine a world governed by the E! Network. (THR)
Maybe you've noticed it before, maybe you haven't, but the Quality Cafe in downtown Los Angeles is one of the most popular eateries in movies. I brought this fact to the attention of our talented editor Matthew Freund and he put together an awesome mash-up of the most memorable scenes. Unfortunately the diner is only used for film shoots, but Morgan Freeman appears to be a regular. I hear he likes his eggs over easy.
Check out the Quality Cafe Mash-Up below.
Scott Bakula recently told a room full of nerds that a big screen version of "Quantum Leap" is in the works. Series creator Donald P. Bellisario is currently working on the script, which sadly will not star original stars Bakula and Dean Stockwell due to their age. Though, they are expected to appear in some kind of role.
For those too young to remember and too busy to watch Syfy on weekdays between noon and six, "Quantum Leap" tells the story of a brilliant scientist whose consciousness "leaps" into different bodies throughout history, and must help them right a wrong before travelling on to the next, and hoping that his next leap will be the leap home. I'm pretty excited to see this. It may be our only chance of seeing Hugh Jackman singing back-up for Elvis while wearing a sequin gown. Well, in a non-Rob Marshall directed film, I mean. (Blastr)
"Entourage" is on its way out at HBO. According to Latino Review, the show will air its final episode next summer. But that doesn't mean that (insert douche bag lead character's name here before you publish) and the gang are finished. It seems they'll be living on in movie form.
Mark Wahlberg recently mentioned the likelihood of an "Entourage" film, and now creator Doug Ellin is expressing interest in writing a script. And if HBO's other *sshole-based show, "Sex and the City," is any indication, the network is all about a movie spin off.
The real question is whether the show will stay relevant long enough to warrant a film, or will a movie version suffer from the same indifference as X-Files: I Want to Believe. Based on this season's reviews, fans are already losing interest, and I can't say I blame them. If I wanted to watch a bunch of Hollywood D-Bags having sex, I'd get a part-time job as a maintenance man at the Roosevelt Hotel and secretly plant webcams in all of the suites and public bathrooms. I mean, ya know, if I were so inclined, which I'm totally not.
Fans of jerky, POV monster movies are in for some bad news. The Cloverfield sequel isn't coming out anytime soon, according to director Matt Reeves. But despite the lack of progress, Reeves assures fans that the film is on both his and J.J. Abrams' to do list.
"It really isn't the moment for [the sequel] to go any further than it has, but it continues to be a priority for both of us," Reeves told the channel. "J.J. is very immersed in putting together 'Super 8.' He's in pre-production and really, really passionately getting that together. And I'm passionately finishing 'Let Me In.'"
You know what I'm passionately finishing? Putting up with your B.S., Matt Reeves! Make a Cloverfield sequel now, or so help me god, I will tear you apart on my personal blog like that monster tore apart the Statue of Liberty. The choice is yours. (Empire Online)
If you like sketch comedy and sci-fi, you were probably a virgin until at least your early 20's. But the enjoyment you'll get out of Thomas Lennon's new show "Alabama" will more than make up for all those lonely nights.
Billed as a cross between "Reno 911!" and "Battlestar Galactica," the show, which is currently in development for FX, follows the exploits of the USS Alabama on its seven year intergalactic peacekeeping mission. It will take place one-thousand years in the future, and will feature sci-fi staples such as cyborgs, puppet-based aliens, and, of course, your occasional time paradox.
"It’s Reno 911! with occasionally like we pass through a nebula that causes everyone on the ship to hear each other's thoughts. Sometimes we run into ourselves as babies and then we have to keep the baby version of our-self alive so the future version of us can be there at the time. You know, sci-fi problems. Reno 911!/sci-fi problems on a very, very sweaty, sweaty, clunky spaceship.”
Filming of the pilot is slated to begin in late September (Collider)
What has six arms, six legs, and a whole lot of chlamydia? The Human Sex-ipede. Yes, they're making a porn parody of the European shock-horror film, The Human Centipede.
For those of you unfamiliar with the film, The Human Centipede is about an insane German doctor who sews people together, anus to mouth. With an ATM fan base already built in, the porn parody was the next logical step, according to famed porn parody director Lee Roy Myers.
"I thought, ‘you know what, this is the perfect concept to base a parody around,'" Myers said. "Anything putting human faces that close to genitals deserves the porn treatment."
There is nothing I could possibly add to that statement. (Movie Line)
He's truly entered the Dark Side.
Randy Couture is an icon of the UFC fighting world, so he fits right into the over pumped world of The Expendables. While he has the least amount of feature film presence, what he lacks in experience, he makes up for with head busting moves on the all-star cast.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Dylan Finn in Redbelt
Weird Fact: Broke his left arm while blocking a high kick from fellow UFC Gabriel Gonzaga
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Dolph Lundgren has always been known as Rocky Balboa's greatest foe in Rocky IV aka Rocky Fights The Communists. Yet this Swedish-born old school action star has shown to be quite the opposite as he was once a chemical engineer with a Fulbright scholarship to MIT. Dolph has both brains and muscle, which means don't eff with this guy or he'll bust out a can of whoop ass and the periodic table chart on your ass.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Captain Ivan Drago in Rocky IV
Weird Fact: Said to have an I.Q. of 160, but according to himself this is untrue.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Jack Black is reteaming with School of Rock director Richard Linklater for Bernie. Shirley MacLaine will also star and mother everyone on set. THR has the deets:
"Bernie" is set in the small town of Carthage, Texas and follows a Renaissance man-community leader-mortician Bernie (Black) who strikes up an unlikely friendship with a wealthy but very particular widow (MacLaine). When he kills her, he goes to great lengths to maintain the illusion that she is still alive.
Is no one seeing the similarities to Weekend at Bernie's here? You know, the movie where two business executives go visit their boss at his beach house for a weekend, he ends up dying, and they make it look like he's still alive? This new movie is even called BERNIE. At least change the title! And don't think Andrew McCarthy won't call about a cameo. Ever since the failed "Lipstick Jungle" on NBC, he's been waiting patiently on his couch for an opportunity like this.
The Beverly Wilshire doesn't have the clientele it used to.
Here are your weekend links.
Hide Your Hangover At Work (ModernMan)
Madden NFL 11 + 360 Slim Giveaway (FileFront)
5 Action Stars Who Aren't As Funny As Mark Wahlberg (Moviefone)
Human Chess Match Staged In Brooklyn (Asylum)
Oh My Hermione! Sexy Emma Watson Pictures (HolyTaco)
I Wish This Kid Would Get Addicted To Heroin Already (FilmDrunk)
Hottest Brunettes Out There (Maxim)
Another Nerd Tattles On Hot Teacher For Banging Other Nerds (BarStoolSports)
9 Celebrities Living With STD's (EgoTV)
Samuel L. Jackson Career Assessment (Pajiba)
A Puck To The Groin Over Reaction Video (TotalProSports)
World's Biggest Foods (Smosh)
20 Most Intimidating Fictional Sharks Of All Time (BroBible)
Kim Kardashian Turns Young Girls Into Whores (CelebJihad)
Very Stylish And Cool 'Mad Men' Photographs (PopEater)
Hipster Lightcycle Tires (MadeMen)
Now that the Losties have shuffled off to be BFFs in Cheesy Plot Twist Heaven, we finally figure what the hell was happening on that island thanks to this short epilogue. Ben Linus takes a trip to Guam to lay-off Sammy Haggar and Bill Nye the Science Guy and agrees to answer one question from each. And then gather around the television to watch a six-minute DVD. He's a busy man. A busy man dressed like Mr. Furley.
Here's a quick rundown of what precious answers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse decide to share with us (bear in mind that I'm paraphrasing): dumb, dumb, stupid. dumb, WWAAALLLLTTTTT!!!!!!, dumb. The End. Thanks for watching!
Check out the video and frustration after the jump…
Bustin' makes him feel goooooood.