Obligatory fat-suit dance scene aka "The Stiller"
The FBI's top agent, who is allowed to dress up as an overweight septuagenarian from time to time, is back and dressed up like an overweight septuagenarian (just go with it). In Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Martin Lawrence helps his stepson/murder-witness hide out by dressing him like Kenan Thompson's sister and enrolling him at an all girl's school. Despite the lack of the dude in drag forced to group shower scene, it sounds like a sound plan to me. I also ate the cat's ear medicine today.
Watch Big Momma shake it after the jump…
Danny Boyle’s new film, 127 Hours, premieres tomorrow. James Franco stars as Aron Ralston, a climber who is forced to amputate his own arm after it is crushed under a rock. In honor of Ralston’s remarkable tale of survival, we here at Screen Junkies came up with a list of other memorable films that feature scenes of amputation. Some of them are disturbing, others are lighthearted, but all of them contain badly mutilated limbs, and that’s the important part. Enjoy!
"Gross. Cut it out, you guys!!"
Sadly, we'll have to wait for the bad taste of Jonah Hex to dissolve from our collective cheek lining before we'll be able to see Solomon Kane. But that doesn't mean we can't still enjoy the work of Kane writer-director Michael Bassett. Thanks to DVD sales and a strong show overseas, Silent Hill is now getting a go at a sequel (which will be in 3D naturally), and Bassett has been hired to direct.
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D will follow a story that stands alone from the original. It traces the plot of the third video game with 17-year old Heather Mason journeying to the nightmare town of Silent Hill to find her missing father, only to discover the gruesome truth about her self. Now, before you get all uppity about it, you should know that it's being shot in 3D. Not post-converted. So, you'll have to come up with some other excuse not to see it when my weirdo friend George asks me to go. (BloodyDisgusting)
Gun changed for awesomticity's sake.
A real honest to goodness can kill a brotha hand gun was found on the set of "Law & Order: Los Angeles." Hit Fix reports the NBC show was filming in Culver City on Wednesday when a cameraman spotted it on a rock. Los Angeles police spokeswoman Karen Rayner says "the semiautomatic handgun was in working order. It will be test-fired, with the results logged for possible crime matches."
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I live right around the Culver City area in Los Angeles. That's where I lay my head at night. How am I supposed to feel safe now knowing that thing was found there? Skeet Ulrich has no right traipsing around my town. The gun on the rock, yeah whatever, but Skeet?! Now I have to start the moving process. I don't have time for this right now. The new Screen Junkies site launches next week! You like how I worked that in there?
Don't question it. It's art.
With his dance card so chock full, we knew something had to give when Brad Pitt joined Cogan's Trade yesterday. Thankfully, it wasn't World War Z. Which is still assumed to be moving forward. However, if you were excited to see Brad buckle some swash and channel Tomb Raider, you're in for a let down. Vulture reports that stalled talks have caused Pitt to walk away from James Gray's The Lost City Of Z.
Before hopping the bus out of butt-town, Pitt was slated to play Percy Fawcett, the real-life adventurer who lead an exhibition into the Amazon to find the kingdom of El Dorado. He and his crew were never seen again. It's just as well that Pitt left the project. He just doesn't seem like the right fit for this kind of part. Besides, this Percy Fawcett dude is a dead ringer for Kevin Costner.
The headline was pretty self-explanatory, but just in case you can't figure it out, here are some details. ComingSoon has released this teaser poster from Mel Gibson's upcoming film The Beaver directed by Jodie Foster. The poster is funny for two reasons. Reason one: Mel Gibson comes off as pretty insane, like the character in this poster. Reason two: Gibson was driven insane by some crazy Russian beaver, so it's funny to see him holding one. That is all (MovieLine)
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, the iconic movie studio responsible for the James Bond franchise as well as Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj, has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The company, which was pressured into filing by investor Carl Icahn, is seeking a 30-day reorganization period in which to pay its creditors.
As part of the reorganization, Spyglass Entertainment will take over management of MGM. Also, company mascot, Leo the Lion, will be euthanized as a cost-cutting measure, and his meat will be sold to the Chinese, who consider lion flesh to be an aphrodisiac. (Vulture)
Warner Bros. has unleashed the trailer for Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. No matter what you're fond of in life, it's probably somewhere in this film. Hot girls, dragons, robots, robot samurai, zepplins, it's all there. The film stars Abbie Cornish, Jamie Chung, Jena Malone, Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgins, Jon Hamm, Scott Glenn, and Carla Gugino. They all play humans, as far as I can tell, but I'm sure one of them could change into a robot samurai at any moment. I don't even want to attempt putting this movie's plot into words so here's the official synopsis:
Oh internet, why do you do these things? I heart you.
Bob your head to there links.
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You would guess by this montage that Don Draper is a bit of a dumbass on "Mad Men." For such a creative genius, he doesn't seem to grasp much that's told to him. Or maybe he's going deaf and no one has diagnosed it properly. Quick, someone clap in front of his face and see if he reacts. If he asks "what?" again we should immediately book an appointment with someone who looks into brains. A doctor perhaps!
See Don Draper perplexed after the jump…
Seems like she's on every director's wishlist lately, but esteemed projects like The Great Gatsby will have to step off. THR reports Scarlett Johansson is remaking Species. Essentially. It's a project called Under The Skin, directed by Sexy Beast's Jonathan Glazer.
In the film, Johansson will play an alien disguised as the perfect woman. She hangs out in remote and desolate areas where she can easily ensnare human prey with her sexual wiles. Because hot women always hang out in the desert and that parking lot behind the plastics plant where those kids do donuts. Over time she gets all turned on and decides to stop eating people but continues to still be slutty. Let me just say this: GREEN LIGHT.
I'm paraphrasing, of course, and the film will be more complex than that. I believe the moral takeaway will be that, no matter how attractive something may seem, looks can be deceiving. For instance, this puppy/bunny hybrid may appear sweet and cute and smily, but trust me. That little f*cker does not respect the concept of wee-wee pads.
Of all the Disney kids, Hilary Duff has the sweetest good girl image even by Disney standards. No scandals, no feuds, just wholesome music and family friendly movies (except for a few questionable paparazzi pics). So what did "Community" do to make her so nasty? She plays Meghan on this Thursday’s episode, leader of a Greendale clique who terrorize Britta, Shirley and Annie.
More after the jump…
Don't throw away your The Assassination Of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford commemorative jacket just yet (in case you were planning on doing that). The film has new relevance! It looks like director Andrew Dominik and stars Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck had so much fun playing Wild West cowboys together that they may schedule another playdate.
Pitt is attached to the lead role (opposite Affleck) in Cogan's Trade, a Boston-based story about an enforcer tasked with tracking down whoever robbed a high stakes mafia poker game. Like on that episode of "The Sopranos." Schedules are still being ironed out, as Dominik was slated to begin shooting Naomi Watts in the Marilyn Monroe biopic Blonde this January. More importantly, when is Brad Pitt going to get around to making World War Z? We need that film before the zombie thing gets completely beaten back into the Earth. (THR)
Geez, take it down a notch.
Somehow Mike White has emerged as the lead contender to direct hot project Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, according to the LA Times. The very white writer of School of Rock and Orange County, and director of Year of the Dog, has climbed up the legs and arms and faces of more appropriate candidates Mike Newell, David Slade, Neil Marshall, Jonathan Demme, and Matt Reeves to get the studio's approving wink.
White would bring his comedic chops to the project, but he doesn't have the special effects chops to create decayed zombie chops. Mike Newell, the guy behind the Harry Potter movies, could definitely take care of the effects, but his family sensibilities might make the horror elements suffer. Can someone just get Sam Raimi on the line already? He could shoot this thing in his sleep.
In an effort to avoid penning a 700-page dissertation on the specific facets of Cobie Smulders’ infinite hotness, we’ll sum it up like this: Oh my god. Best known as that dorky Canadian newscaster chick from the CBS sitcom “How I Met Your Mother,” Smulders is set to grace the cover of the December issue of Maxim. And based on a set of prints leaked from the shoot, it looks like that particular issue is going to fly off the racks faster than most. If you want a copy, they’ll all be here at the Screenjunkies office. But you’ll have to fight us with katana swords to get one. We’ve been practicing.
A word from Cobie: “I had no idea what I wanted to do after college, but acting seemed like a good start.”
More pics after the jump…
I gotta give mad props to Tom Cruise for spitting in the face of death. The actor recently ran across a building like a ninja for Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. And it wasn't just any building. It was the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, the tallest building the world. He could have used a stunt double instead of dangling 124 floors above very hard, real ground, but Cruise prefers the authenticity that comes from doing stunts himself. I get queasy peering over my apartment's third floor balcony, so I suppose Tom Cruise just made me look like a little bitch. Good for you, Cruise. I deserved to be taken down a peg.
Check out the crazy stunt pics after the jump…
The first time I ever met Todd Phillips was for the movie Road Trip. That was 10 years ago and now he’s gone from a funny teen comedy to one of the most quoted college movies to the biggest R-rated comedy of all time. Due Date follows The Hangover and prefaces The Hangover 2. It’s in a Hangover sandwich. Robert Downey Jr. plays a traveling architect desperate to get back to his pregnant wife. Zach Galifianakis is the only ride available to him. In one of his last interviews at the L.A. press junket, Phillips spoke with us about orchestrating comedy. Then he invited me to a Hangover 3 orgy, so you’ll want to keep reading.
Call the police! There's been a rash of owlnappings!! Harry Potter fans in India are being blamed for the rapid decrease in the country's wild owl population. Due to the popularity of Harry's owl Hedwig, it's surmised that fans of the boy wizard have been climbing in trees and snatching your owls up, trying to keep 'em. So you better hide your Barn, hide your Snowy, and hide your Great Horned too, cuz they owlnapping urrbody out here. This is alternately really dorky and really metal. On the one hand, owls can mess your sh*t up. On the other, nuuurrdddssss!!!!
This is sure to make the slumdogs from Slumdog Millionaire feel great about themselves. Nobody wanted them for pets after that movie took the world by storm. All I knows is that Owl Lady had better steer clear of India. She's liable to get snatched up. Actually, that could be the perfect angle for the Taken sequel. (via Gawker)
"And THIS is for Pirahna 3D!!!"
With the success of The Last Exorcism under his belt, Eli Roth is ready to produce again. Roth is reteaming with Eric Newman and StudioCanal to make Psycho Killer. The story follows a masked killer on a cross-country murder spree. During his rampage, he kills a highway patrolman and leaves the wife, and fellow officer, behind as a witness. She sets out on the killer's trail to avenge her husband and stop the massacre the killer has planned.
Originally, Limp Bizkit's Fred Durst was attached to direct and "yo, use that Rob Zombie filter," but he has since left the project. Stepping in is producer and first-time director Gavin Polone. He's produced a wide variety of film and television, ranging from "Curb Your Enthusiasm" to "The Gilmore Girls" to Panic Room to Zombieland. He's also Conan O'Brien's manager, and is rumored to have had a huge hand in dragging NBC's shady practices into the press during the Jay/Conan fiasco. So the man can obviously handle a bloodbath. (Variety)
Look mom, I’m a thespian!
Sasha Grey is slated to porn-up another mainstream movie with her role in Skinny Dip, Movie Line is reporting. Grey will star alongside Michelle Rodriguez, Danny Trejo and Eric Roberts in the film, which is billed as a revenge thriller.
As you know, Grey used to be a porn star, but has crossed over to become a “porn star who directors exploit to create buzz for non-porn films.” Her success is an inspiration to young girls (with "daddy issues") everywhere (as am I).
Commando The Musical – Watch more Funny Videos
We've seen Robocop and Terminator 2 in musical form, and now Jon and Al are back with Commando: The Musical. Will Eraser and Twins ever get the song treatment? Only time will tell. (BuzzFeed)
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It's "Tron Tuesday" again everyone, and you know what that means! A new Tron Legacy clip that doesn't show the really good parts that you don't want spoiled anyway! Last week we saw Olivia Wilde, who plays Quorra, taking Sam on a Light Runner ride to unknown territory. Now that territory becomes not unknown, or rather, known.
In this new clip entitled "You're Here," Sam is reunited with his father Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges), who's been going batty in a computer program for the past several decades. You know he's losing his mind because he stares off into the abyss and is dressed in all white. Only mad men and Boyz II Men dress in all white.
Check out the clip after the jump…
It's been awhile since high school English but I don't remember anything in Gulliver's Travels about a gigantic mechanized suit giving Gulliver an atomic wedgie. Yet that's exactly what happens in this new trailer. Strange though, because I would definitely have remembered that part.
I also don't remember Foosball, Star Wars jokes, a Lilliputian KISS cover band, or general Jack Black fat-guy-fall-down hammery. But they're all in here. I feel so bad for the kid who rents this instead of reading the book before his big term paper is due.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
Whiny love interests have been a hallmark of Christopher Nolan's Batman films, so it comes as no surprise that a leading lady will be needed in The Dark Knight Rises. Make that leading LADIES. Comic Book Movie is reporting that Charlize Theron, Vera Farmiga, and some other chick are up for parts in the film.
Theron is rumored to be up for the role of Detective Sarah Essen, a character who in the comics knocks boots with Commissioner Gordon. Vera Farmigia's Batman future isn't as certain though. It's reported that both she and newcomer Kacie Thomas are in the running for the role of Bruce Wayne's love interest. Take this all as rumor at this point, but the film's villian has not yet been announced. Perhaps we'll see one of these actresses step in as Catwoman. If so, my vote is for Theron. She more than holds her own on-screen and she has experience with pleather.
"Don't look, don't look, don't look."
James Nesbitt has joined Peter Jackson's big screen adaptation of The Hobbit. Unless you're British, you're probably all like, "who?" He has starred in Danny Boyle's Millions, an awesome family film that doesn't feel family-ish, and Waking Ned Devine, a movie some critics refer to as a "gem." Nesbitt will play Bofur, “a disarmingly forthright, funny and occasionally brave Dwarf.”
With The Hobbit going into production and one trillion Snow White stories in development, Dwarfs are in high demand lately. Too bad they're getting normal-sized actors to play them instead of midgets. I apologize. I didn't mean to be insensitive. Not "normal-sized," just normal. (Deadline)
The press junket for 127 Hours was informative beyond our private interview with Danny Boyle. The real Aron Ralston and the filmmakers discussed the film, already generating controversy for its graphic depiction of a self-amputation. Ralston had to sever his own arm when he was trapped in a canyon for five days.
Even Ralston wants everybody to know it’s all good. He was happy to make the sacrifice. “They’re going to walk into this movie thinking it’s the story of the guy who cut his arm off,” Ralston said. “I hope they realize it’s about the guy who was smiling when he cut his arm off. It was a euphoric experience for me because it was going to get me back to what was important in my life. I had a chance to learn about that while I was trapped.”
More after the jump…
Conan O'Brien put on a five-minute trial run of his upcoming TBS show in a conference room. Here's hoping the production value of the actual show exceeds this one. I know it's not NBC, but paint is so affordable these days. I don't want to ruin the guest since he only stays for 30 seconds, so I'll only say that it causes a BIG BANG THEORY. Diet Coke probably gets more air time than anything else. Hey, someone's gotta pay for those spotlight gels.
Check out "Show Zero" after the jump…
At last count, there are approximately 8,654 versions of Snow White currently in the Hollywood pipeline. Give or take. First, there's Disney's Snow White and the Seven, the action-driven Snow White and the Huntsman, and Brett Ratner's gangsta re-imagining of the classic fairy tale. Tarsem Singh (The Cell, The Immortals) drew the short straw, and will be directing Ratner's take.
Now, don't be concerned that this will be your grandfather's Snow White (assuming your grandfather was always talking about Snow White) because as previously noted by Ratner, "This is not your grandfather's Snow White." I don't know how to break this news to my grandfather. He's been really looking forward to our movie date. (THR)
Not all aliens are created equal. If worse came to worse, I’m pretty sure I could take E.T. in fight. The same goes for that bitch Mac, from Mac and Me. On the other hand, if you put me in the ring with a Predator, he’d be using my skull as trophy in five seconds flat.
Because the threat posed by extraterrestrials can vary so greatly, we’ve compiled this list of nine aliens you don’t want to eff with. After all, throwing water on the alien from Signs is a fun way to spend an afternoon, while doing the same thing to a Xenomorph is a really bad idea.
I'd sell my soul for that.
For years, I've had a hunch that Leonardo DiCaprio was in league with the Devil. What else could explain the stunning career of a man who started out with a bit part on "Growing Pains." But Deadline has confirmed my suspicions by reporting on Leo's latest project, a film adaptation of Devil in the White City.
DiCaprio will play the notorious serial killer Dr. H.H. Holmes is a murderer of between 27 to 200 people during the World’s Fair of 1893 in Chicago. The original story was a doctor who lured guests into a hotel that had a gas chamber, crematorium and a dissecting table where he would murder and sell their skeletons for scientific studies.
Who knows what sick, sadistic impulses DiCaprio will conjure up while playing this character? I fear for Bar Refaeli's safety, which is why I must kidnap her and keep her confined in my basement for her own protection. Don't worry, Bar Bar! Daddy's coming for you!