Amy Poehler will host the 36th season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" on September 25 with musical guest Katy Perry. That's on a Saturday. Considering that everyone is either leaving (Will Forte) or getting fired (possibly Jenny Slate), the "SNL" alum and star of "Parks and Recreation" might have to calm the nerves of newbie cast members.
Hopefully it won't turn out like last year's season premiere, in which Jenny Slate uttered the word "f*ckin'" on live television. You can't do that kind of stuff, Jenny Slate! Now her head is on Lorne Michaels's chopping block. I don't watch the show anymore, but I've been told by people who do that Slate is groan-worthy. If you're going to shoot off at the mouth like sailor you should at least get people laughing. Off with her head, Lorne! (Deadline)
"You do not sink Liam Neeson's Battleship."
Liam Neeson may have missed out at the chance to play Abraham Lincoln, but he will be DAMNED if he misses the opportunity to work with Rihanna. Zeus has signed on to play an Admiral in Peter Berg's cuckoo-bananas film adaptation of the Hasbro board game.
More specifically, Neeson will play Admiral Shane, the father to Brooklyn Decker's character and future father-in-law to Taylor Kitsch (if you care about the soap opera aspects of Battleship). No word yet if the film will feature any Krakken releasing. (Deadline)
You Again might not be a Screen Junkies type of movie, but Sigourney Weaver will always be a SJ type of lady. If the Disney comedy is the excuse to…
Bianca Lawson is no stranger to television, having appeared most recently in "The Vampire Diaries" all the way back to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." See a trend here? She also played Megan on "Saved by the Bell: The New Class," the spin-off that only Screech and Belding stuck around for.
A word from Bianca: "I want to go to Rome. I want to go to Italy so bad."
Then do it with that sweet "Saved by the Bell" money. And take Dustin Diamond along with you.
The new fall TV season is upon us. If you’ve been following my sage advice for fall TV viewing of the new shows, you’ve probably been eagerly anticipating my last installment in the series. Well anticipate no more. Here it is. I saved the sci-fi/supernatural/fantasy shows for last because…it was the last category I picked out of the hat. Regardless, it’s an important segment of your TV viewing and one show deserves your attention. Another show does not.
Whether you are a science fiction/comic book fan or not, these shows will be one of your choices this fall. Read on…
WATCH IT: “No Ordinary Family” (ABC), Tuesdays at 8 pm (ET)
Piranha 3D is a movie of the people. Especially people who have always wanted to see Jerry O'Connell have his wiener bitten off (you know who you are). Producers of the inevitable sequel want to stay in the good graces of the fans, so they are making Piranha 3D: Part Two an interactive movie.
That's right! You, Joe Q. Public, can decide which celebrity will be cast to meet a gory demise in the next film. There's no info yet on how to vote, so I'm going to walk out into Times Square and begin shouting "Gary Busey!!" If I do that long enough, two things may happen: 1) producers will receive my vote, 2) the real Gary Busey will show up before me. He's like a "Bewitched" character in that way. (NY Post)
"Hey guys, can I look?!"
The Disney animated feature Mulan slipped right under my pre-teen radar, but I've never heard a person sing its praises like one might for The Lion King or Pocahontas (JK! The animals don't even speak!). Jan De Bont, the director of Speed and Twister, must have been touched by it though. A few international producers are handing him over a boatload of cash to turn Mulan into a live action movie with Zhang Ziyi in the lead. De Bont already tackled Lara Croft, so he understands the intricacies of bad-ass female characters, and how to best battle robots in tombs. I'm sure this applies to Mulan.
If you need a brush up on your (Disney) history, the film tells the tale of "Hua Mulan, the legendary young heroine soldier who joins an all-male army." From my understanding, it wasn't an 80s comedy and Mulan wasn't a newspaper journalist trying to get a big promotion by exposing how gross guys are. (THR)
My favorite media event of the entire year is the Television Critics Association press tour. For two weeks, every network and cable station brings their talent to have presentations with their stars and producers for the TV critics. At night they host parties where you can just roam around and find celebrities to pester.
Comcast Networks held their party outdoors in the Oasis Garden at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. When I found G4 “Attack of the Show’s” Alison Haislip, she was shivering in a clingy black skirt. At least it wasn’t as bad as the lingerie models floating in the fountain. I found Haislip a heat lamp where we could chat about guest hosting for Olivia Munn, old school video games, and technology.
Screen Junkies: Were you always grooming yourself to fill in on “Attack of the Show” or was there an opening you seized?
Alfonso Cuaron and Warner Bros have had a hard time finding a leading lady to anchor Gravity after Angelina Jolie has declared herself anti-Gravity twice. A slew of actresses including Rebecca Hall, Naomi Watts, Sandra Bullock, Marion Cottilard, Blake Lively, Sienna Miller, Abbie Cornish, Scarlett Johannson, Olivia Wilde, and Carey Mulligan have been approached for the role, but none have agreed to float at zero G's in a room full of Teamsters. Now, there's news that Natalie Portman may be buying a box of Dramamine.
A firm offer has gone out to the actress after early buzz about Black Swan has her on track for an Oscar. The belief is that if she can handle that challenging role, she's more than capable of carrying the unofficial Lost In Space sequel. (THR)
The class-acts over at FilmDrunk were kind enough to put together this montage of 20 classic movie farts, and boy is it a gas (keep your damn rimshot!). They're also quick to point out that three of the films are Academy Award winners. Note to future filmmakers: More poopy jokes!
Check out the toots after the jump…
Ridley Scott will make the Alien prequels even if he doesn't feel like it, if only to spite James Cameron. The director told the Independent that Cameron has raised the bar, and "he’s not going to get away with it." Dems sounds like fightin' words! Ridley was upset when he wasn't asked to make Aliens, and then Cameron came along and pissed in his soup. Except Cameron's piss, arguably, improved the franchise. Now Ridley wants to piss back with even better piss.
"The film will be really tough, really nasty… It's the dark side of the moon. We are talking about gods and engineers. Engineers of space. And were the aliens designed as a form of biological warfare? Or biology that would go in and clean up a planet?"
You had me at "engineers of space." If these movies focusing on The Space Jockey of the first Alien film never happen, I'm pitching "Engineers of Space" to the The History Channel. I'm certain the title alone will land me a production deal.
Meanwhile, The Playlist dug up an interview that Gemma Arterton did with the Sunday Times in which she says, "Ridley Scott saw Alice Creed and he loved it. He wants me to meet for Aliens: The Remake, or something." As you can tell by her attention to detail, Arterton is watching this project like hawk. Only time will tell if she could be the new Ripley. Ridley first has to take time off from poking his Cameron voodoo doll to meet with her. (CinemaBlend)
While doing my daily rounds of visiting every site on the Internet, I came across pictures of Rooney Mara in costume as Lisbeth Salander over at RooneyMara.net. The pics show a leather-clad Mara riding a motorbike while sporting short black hair.
Rooney landed the role in David Fincher's adaptation after facing fierce competition. Every young actress in Hollywood was clamoring to test for the part. And now that we've seen the first pics, I can say that between the pale skin, pouty expression, and spunky, black hair, Frank Dillane was robbed.
Check out more pics after the jump…
In this new clip from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) and Bretton Woods (Josh Brolin) get all up in each others' business practices. When Gecko takes Bretton to task for his sub-primes, you know it's on like 4:59PM on the floor of the Stock Exchange. My brow gets sweaty just thinking of these two ruthless businessmen discussing market liquidity. You have to build up to that kind of conflict, though.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps crashes into theaters September 24th.
Check out the financial disses after the jump…
How could someone so young cut a nose off to spite a face?
Here are your Labor Day Weekend links.
10 Movie Trailers That Are Nothing Like The Actual Movies (ModernMan)
Our Favorite Romantic-Comedy Scene Stealers (Moviefone)
He Got Severed! Video Captures Fan Fight At U.S. Open (Asylum)
10 Things Women Can Do That Men Can't (Ranker)
25 Pics Of Hot Chicks With Knives (HolyTaco)
Machete? More Like Meh-chete (FilmDrunk)
Eye Candy With Eyepatches (Maxim)
Horribly Disappointing Floyd Mayweather Rant (BarStoolSports)
A Tribute To Girls And Their Guns (EgoTV)
Kiefer Sutherland Career Assessment (Pajiba)
9 Prominent Actors Unexpectedly And Quickly Killed Off In Movies (Unreality)
Nyger Morgan Brawl Is Even More Exciting In Japanese! (TotalProSports)
Machete Star In Every Movie Ever Made (Smosh)
9 Ugly Shirts To Wear At A Party (BroBible)
JWoww Infested With Bed Bugs (CelebJihad)
CP Represents On Hammer Fisted's Latest Podcast (CagePotato)
Montana Fishburne's Further Porn Debut Talk (PopEater)
Volvo C70 T5 Review (MadeMan)
Safety first. Hello Kitty second.
Steven Soderbergh is gearing up to offend China. The director has decided to dredge up bad SARS memories by setting his next film Contagion in Hong Kong. Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Matt Damon, and Laurence Fishburne have all signed up to come down with a case of the Hong Kong Achooeys in the virus gone wild drama. Hong Kong native Josie Ho has also signed on to play the sister of "Patient Zero" aka that asshole that never buys his own Chapstick. (THR)
It's the Friday before the holiday weekend so news is slower than my bowl movements when I'm on vacation. I could bore you with more casting news that you don't care about, or I could show you the dance remix of the Crazy Coffee Lady.
In case you're not up to date, the other day a video hit the interwebz of a woman giving an animated testimony of her brush with death. She was getting coffee at a Shell station when two robbers busted in. I'll let her explain the rest because I won't do it justice.
The original video is after the jump.
Oren Peli, the writer-director of the indie hit Paranormal Activity is looking to get his feet wet in the world of television. Peli is close to landing a deal with ABC to bring his original drama idea "The River" to primetime. According to Deadline, "The River follows the story of a famed adventurer/TV personality who goes missing and is presumed dead deep in the Amazon. His friends and crew go to look for him on their state-of-the-art research vessel." The show would be shot shakey-cam-style (cinema verite to all you elitists) like Paranormal Activity, a trend that's quickly becoming tiresome.
I'm not sure how you make an entire series out of that premise, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm more concerned about this "state-of-the-art" research vessel. Such words make James Cameron's ears ring. If he gets word that people are doing "research" near "water" he could take the whole thing over and turn it into an Omnimax documentary about indigenous jungle wildlife.
From hooking up with Turtle on this season's "Entourage" to banging "The Sopranos" son AJ, Dania Ramirez is one foxy babe that gets around on HBO hit series. She'll also be giving Joseph Gordon-Levitt the Premium Rush soon in theaters too. Originally from Dominican Republic, Dania shows that caribbean isn't just a place for old, drunk pirates anymore.
A word from Dania: "I love everyone, but certain people more!"
You better not be talking about your family and friends because that is so cliché.
More pics of Dania after the jump.
Olivia Thirlby, 2008's It Girl (non-Kat Dennings version), will be joining Karl Urban when he shoves his gavel up bad guys' butts in the Judge Dredd reboot. Thirlby is best known for her turns in Juno and The Wackness. It looks like she's attempting to break into bigger, less-shoe gazey projects between this and The Darkest Hour. In other words, momma wants a pool.
For Dredd, she will play a young telepath who shadows Dredd on his beat. C'mon, do you really need to read minds to know where he's sticking that gavel? (Up butts.) (Variety)
Frank Darabont has responded to the news of an early pick-up of "The Walking Dead" season two with an interjectory "Slow your roll, homeboys." It seems that the news from the other day that AMC has already renewed the zombie survival drama for a second season was premature. Darabont himself tells AICN:
"Shooting in February? As tired as I am right now getting season one through post, I'd rather shoot myself."
There you have it from the man himself. No greenlight for season two as of yet. We'll keep you posted when AMC eventually does go all Deerhunter and place the cold, hard steel in Darabont's hand. You can however catch the premiere of season one on October 31st. If you watch, a second season is much more likely.
Your band's new album cover.
I don't want to get you too excited this early in the morning, but Liam Neeson is going to take on wolves. Bradley Cooper jumped ship on Joe Carnahan's forthcoming directorial effort The Grey, and his A-Team co-star Neeson has taken his place. The film is about "a group of Alaska pipeline workers whose plane crash lands on their way back ome from a remote worksite. The workers then find themselves hunted by a pack of wolves."
Are you kidding me? When can I buy my ticket?! Liam Neeson mopping the floor with Frenchmen in Taken was tantilizing enough, but now he's actually going head-to-head with wolves? Mother Nature better shave her legs 'cause she's about to get f*cked. (/Film)
If you think the new “Nikita” is just another Hollywood remake, you might be interested to know how much effort has gone into proving you wrong. The forthcoming CW series…
Emma Bell has been cast as the protagonist that pisses off Death in 5nal Destination or Final Destination 5 or Final De5tination or whatever they decide to call it. Which begs the question, who is Emma Bell? Well, she's best known as the girl who gets stuck in the chairlift in Frozen, and is also a castmember in Frank Darabont's highly-anticipated "The Walking Dead." For Destination, she'll be the one suffering from dizzy spells that show her oblique clues about which grisly death will befall David Koechner. That and she'll be the one who points her thumb at Tony Todd's returning mortician character and asks the audience, "What's that guy's deal? Cuckoo!!" (JoBlo)
M. Night Shyamalan claims the question fans ask him the most is if he is doing a sequel to Unbreakable. He also claims that at one point, he had a great idea for said sequel ready to go. Unfortunately, that idea was broken up and sold for scrap.
“It was such a cool idea for a villain, and it was actually originally in the script for 'Unbreakable,' and it was too much. There were too many villains, so I pulled this villain out and was like, 'I'll make this the second flick.'” He even started developing it into a sequel story. But now he says, “the third 'Night Chronicles' movie is what would have been the sequel [to 'Unbreakable']. So now I need to come up with a new idea.”
Recently, Shyamalan's had a streak of box-office flops, so it'd be easy to join the crowd of detractors. At the moment, it also happens to be 3:28 AM, so I'm more than happy to take the easy route.
If he's making flop after flop after flop, but fans are still expressing interest in Unbreakable 2, why in the world would he cannibalize his "great idea" for a sequel and make it into a film that no one cares about? That makes about as much sense as the plot from Signs. God killed the preacher's wife so her last words could inspire her brother-in-law to kill Aliens with a baseball bat and some friggen water? Why not just skip the wife killing and not send the damn aliens in the first place, god? "Swing away" my ass. (MTV via Cinema Blend)
Look at that grin on April O'Neil's face.
Will 'Machete' Ignite a Firestorm Over Its Immigration Stance? (Moviefone)
New 'Rap Map' Shows Geography Of Great Moments In Rap (Asylum)
13 Most Epic Police FAILS Of All Time (Ranker)
The Upside Of Being Homeless (HolyTaco)
I Thought Sean Penn Was In Haiti? (FilmDrunk)
It's 9.02.10 Day (Maxim)
Only In Japan Can You Take Your Virtual Girlfriend On Honeymoons (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Of Banksy Wall Art (EgoTV)
We've Got To Fight The Powers That Be (Pajiba)
Executing The Rocket Jump In Real Life (Unreality)
9 Colleges With The Hottest Sports Fans (TotalProSports)
Road Rage Revenge (Smosh)
10 Great 'Minute To Win-It'- Inspired Drinking Games (BroBible)
Blake Lively Epic Cleavage Pics (CelebJihad)
James 'Half-a-Milly' Toney Gets The Last Laugh (CagePotato)
See Olivia Munn's Sexy GQ Photo Shoot (PopEater)
Samsung Galaxy Tab (MadeMan)
Q&A With French Badass Actor Vincent Cassel (Moviehopping)
I'm not a big fan of ruining movies for myself by watching clips, but I'm glad I sucked it up and hit play on this new one for Let Me In. Now I for seriously can't wait to check out this film at Fantastic Fest. I know a few of you out there are pissed that they remade the Swedish version, but c'mon, it's got Richard Jenkins in it. The man can do no wrong. Except for Say It Isn't So, and even in that film he's covered in bees WAY better than Nic Cage ever was.
Take a look at the clip after the jump and see if it changes your skeptical mind…
Last week, Screen Junkies and Break scored some sweet, sweet hangin' time with Machete stars Danny Trejo and Michelle Rodriguez, and director Robert Rodriguez, at an international press junket. FX guru and filmmaker Freddie W. put together a scene that starts out simple enough with everyone taking some bad-ass pics for the cameras, but then quickly takes a dark turn once Michelle's strength is brought into question. In my opinion, this is the way all press junkets should end. Although, I'm sure the hotel staff would vehemently disagree.
Check out the video below…
If you were a nerd with an affinity for the occult between the years of 1988 and 1996, this news may upset. Warner Bros. Television is moving forward with plans to adapt Neil Gaiman's "Sandman." Also, condolences on being a nerd.
It's not all bad news though. "Supernatural" creator Eric Kripke is said to be Warners' #1 choice to head up the project. We don't write about "Supernatural" much around here but it is a mostly-solid show. Kripke is immensely talented, and is certainly capable of building the intricate world required to pull this off. Unless he's not available. In which case, you could always get Tim Kring. That would be good too, right guys? Guys?? (THR)
Scarves = Happiness.
In an effort to collect a handful of "Free Sex" coupons, Jon Hamm could star in his long time girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt's next directorial effort, Friends With Kids. They haven't officially kissed on it, but a deal is reportedly in the works. The names Anne Hathaway and Kristen Wiig are also floating around the project, but again, no spit handshakes.
Another thing that isn't known is what the film is about, except that it'll probably focus on someone's friends who have kids. They could be young kids. They could be old kids. "Friends" might used in a sarcastic way, so that it really mean enemies. Same goes for kids. The movie could be about enemies with adults. But one thing is for certain — if it happens, Jon Hamm will be in it. (ThePlaylist)
On Monday, we reported that Lauren German, Kristin Kreuk, and Paula Patton were in contention for the sexy female role in Mission: Impossible 4. Well Paula Patton has emerged victorious! The Deja Vu star will play a young operative who works with Ethan Hunt.
Tom Cruise will reprise his role as Hunt, but Paramount doesn't want to make a big deal about his involvement. He was the cat's meow back when the first movie launched, but now he's that guy you dread having lunch with simply to maintain the relationship. Maybe M:I 4 director Brad Bird can elevate his status back to Top Gun levels. That is if co-star Jeremy Renner doesn't steal the spotlight. Oh how that would anger Cruise so. Couch-stomping mad. (Deadline)