Man, Alfonso Cuaron is having a bitch of a time finding someone to star in his Gravity movie. Angelina passed on it twice, Scarlett Johannson and Blake Lively were rumored to be in contention, and then it was announced that Natalie Portman was in talks for the role. Well, she passed. Now Universal is trying their damndest to woo Sandra Bullock for the part. If you ask me, Bullock should pass as well. She doesn't need to be caught in the center of a widely-publicized story about how she was second banana to a few younger women. That's so last year.
If Bullock does indeed pass, they should just go with Olivia Munn. She's already got the helmet and everything.
Yesterday, everyone on the Internet was reporting that Darren Aronofsky was taking on the Wolverine sequel. Well hold your damn horses. Now, Empire Online is reporting that Warner Bros. has made a counter offer that might just land the director in their camp: a 40's era period piece called Tales from the Gangster Squad.
Tales from the Gangster Squad follows the exploits of Sergeant John O’Mara’s off-the-books team of police mercenaries, who targeted mob-linked gangster Mickey Cohen and his attempts to bring East Coast organised crime firmly into LA. Originally chronicled in a series of LA Times articles by Paul Lieberman, the script has been penned by cop-turned-writer Will Beall.
That's a tough call. Both films sound like a good fit for Aronofsky. It reminds me a little of Sophie's Choice, except for this I'm going to stay tuned to find out what happens instead of switching over to "Real World/Road Rules Challenge" (Sorry, Sophie).
Moviefone put together this montage of people in movies watching movies. If it's not too meta for you I suggest you check it out. Next up, people in movies watching movies of people watching movies. Did I just give you a nose bleed?
Go to these links and click the links inside of them.
Student Loses Scholarship After Starring in Porn (Asylum)
10 Deadliest Hurricans EVER! (Ranker)
Penthouse Letters That Didn't Make the Cut (HolyTaco)
How to Make Out with Katherine Heigl (FilmDrunk)
Hottest Animal Lovers (Maxim)
Men's Package Enhancing Underwear (BarStoolSports)
Most Hypnotizing Workout Video Ever (EgoTV)
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Drunk Man Stumbles Into Rodeo Ring (TotalProSports)
22 Types of Muffin Tops (Smosh)
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Ashley Greene's Workout Butt (CelebJihad)
Thanks to the Munchies Nick Diaz is Broke (CagePotato)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Brother Died (PopEater)
Winning Over Her Friends (MadeMan)
"Back off, zombies!"
David O. Russell is removing himself from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies in favor of working with another constantly hungry creature — Vince Vaughn. Natalie Portman couldn't work out her schedule to align with O. Russell's, and now he needs to hop on Old St. Louis.
But it looks like she won't be the only starlet who won't have the opportunity to be berated by the nutbar director. Scarlett Johansson had to drop out of Old St. Louis due to her own scheduling conflicts. We'll keep you posted when the search for a new Pride and Prejudice and Zombies director begins, but we feel that the gig should go to Troma's Lloyd Kaufman. He pretty much invented and mastered that genre as it is. (NY Mag)
BoingBoing was sent this video that condenses the entire Star Wars Trilogy into two minutes AND does the whole thing in paper animation. I love it. Way better than spending six hours on the originals. Sure, the special effects aren't as impressive but the time spent on cutting out every little detail from construction paper deserves major kudos. Good job, Jeremy Messsersmith, a Minneapolis musician.
This game looks great.
The road to a Halo movie adaptation has certainly been a bumpy one. Originally, Universal and Fox split the rights and Peter Jackson was brought in. But then Jackson wanted too much money and Universal was all like, "F*ck you!" And then Jackson was all like, "No. F*ck you!!" Then he walked, effectively killing the project.
Now Dreamworks is stepping in to try to make a film adaptation of the Halo BOOKS and not the game, so that Universal can't turn around and be all like, "F*ck you!!!" Sounds like a solid plan, except that someone in Hollywood had to own up to knowing that Halo books exist. Nuuuuurrrdddd!!!!!
At any rate, Microsoft has not agreed to hand over their prize pig just yet, so we'll have to see how this plays out. If it doesn't fail, they should just film the hot girl in the picture above while she plays Halo. Or I guess as she reads the Halo books, so that Universal doesn't step in. I'd still watch that. I'd even buy the novelization of the movie about her reading the books. Actually sounds like a lot of work. I'm gonna go play videogames now. (NY Mag)
Sam Raimi has for reals seriously confirmed that his next directorial project will be Disney's Oz the Great and Powerful. I thought this news was already confirmed with Robert Downey Jr. attached to star, but apparently Raimi was waffling between World of Warcraft and Oz, and Downey Jr. isn't yet a certainty. What a slap in the pizza face to MMORPG gamers.
Deadline says that Disney expects production on the film to begin next year at some point. I imagine what month and day depends on how well the new draft of the script written by David Lindsay-Abaire shapes up. Lindsay-Abaire, who wrote festival hit Rabbit Hole starring Nicole Kidman, also worked with Raimi on the script for the Spider-man 4 movie that Raimi eventually burnt out on.
Now the director will put all of his efforts in making the Wizard walk a similar path as Dorothy in the original film. If he doesn't run into Bruce Campbell as the Lion, Tin Man, or Scarecrow a serious injustice will be done. Disney should have signed off on that stipulation before ever a hand was shook.
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Preview – Psychiatric Evaluations
New Episodes Oct 6, 10:30pm/9:30c
Department of Integration Field Guide
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In this clip from the Season 2 premiere of "Ugly Americans," Mark counsels Tim the two-headed work creature and gives psychiatric evaluations to the Department of Integration employees. I had no idea that the left heads of two headed worm creatures have been so persecuted throughout history, from separate drinking fountains to forced prostitution. It really is a right head world. It's the very reason I chopped the other head off years ago. I only have two now.
"Ugly Americans" premieres on Comedy Central tonight at 10:30/9:30c after an all new "South Park."
Emily Rose was one of the many new faces to the hit the TV airwaves this past summer with the new SyFy Channel series "Haven." Emily's background ranges from loved but short lived TV series "John from Cincinnati" and "Jericho" to the final season of "ER." "Haven" gives her a chance to flex her leading lady muscles on the strangest TV series this side of "Twin Peaks."
More pics of Emily after the jump…
Stringer Bell a.k.a. Idris Elba is in talks to join Nicolas Cage, Ciaran Hinds, and hottie Violante Placido in Ghost Rider 2. THR reports that Elba would play "an alcoholic warrior monk tasked with finding Ghost Rider." There are so many contradictions in that character description. Basically, Worst. Monk. Ever.
Johnny Whitworth is also looking to jump into the Neveldine/Taylor-directed flaming skull flick. The "CSI: Miami" star would be "a criminal who is recruited by the devil to find the boy and is later turned into a demonic creature." What's with all the finding going on in this movie? I wonder how Neveldine and Taylor will make that interesting. Oh right, shoot the whole thing like it's an acid trip. This can't not turn out excellent.
"Is there anybody out there?"
Transformers 3 officially has a title, and it officially doesn't make any sense. Transformers: The Dark Of The Moon is the title that an adult pieced together, wrote down on a page, submitted to a major film studio, and will now be printed on billboards, T-shirts, posters, and fast food tie-ins.
Sounds like a) a clever way of side-stepping legal issues with Pink Floyd, or b) a note someone would jot down while baked out of their mind. Not sure if the baked person in question is Michael Bay or writer Ehren Kruger, but it's something we'd expect more from Shia. He's at that age. (Collider)
"You don't know what a HUG is?"
Warner Bros. is planning to start shooting Christopher Nolan's third Batman movie in April in the fine city of New Orleans. Yes, I'm displeased by this news too. I was hoping shooting would start next week in the Rite Aid parking lot across from my apartment. My reasoning for this is two fold. 1) April is too damn far away. I want another Nolan movie, especially another Nolan Batman, in theaters ASAP. 2) New Orleans is too far away. If the film were shot in the Rite Aid parking lot across from my apartment I'd be able to watch all the action go down. With enough green screen and CG they could rearrange the homeless people to make it look like Chicago/Gotham. (Coming Soon)
We'd heard the rumors but they sounded too crazy to even qualify. Yet somehow, against all laws of nature, Darren Aronofsky is in talks to direct Wolverine 2. Aronofsky surpassed rumored shoe-in David Slade to win the honor of directing the second film in this so far pretty sh*tty franchise, just days after it was announced that Zack Snyder won the Superman directing duties.
May be a case of Justin Bieber punk'n us all, but if not, at least we have a director who can artfully convey Wolverine's frustration with the world that won't accept him as he surfs on a missile or whatever ridiculous action set-piece makes its way into this film.
Where this leaves Preacher or movies that are a good idea for Aronofsky to do, we do not know. But if you ask me, this move is in direct reaction to the failure of The Wrestler action-figure line. Apart from the Marisa Tomei Lapdancer dolls, those things just didn't sell. (Deadline)
ABC has snapped up a sitcom based on the popular website, “Awkward Family Photos,” Variety is reporting. Moses Port and David Guarascio ("Just Shoot Me") are set to write the script, while Joe Russo and Anthony Russo will act as directors and executive producers. The brains behind the site, Mike Bender and Doug Chernack, will also act as executive producers.
“Awkward Family Photos” follows in the footsteps of “$#*! My Dad Says,” another recent sitcom that started out on the web. In related news, I’m currently in talks with ABC to produce “$#*!s My Co-Workers Took,” a movie based on a popular toilet cam I installed during a recent trip to our Chicago office (that’s why I needed the plunger, guys). Of course in this case, “ABC” is a homeless guy who sells bootleg DVDs at the bus stop, not the TV network, but still. It’s a great time to be an Internet writer!
If Zack Snyder is looking to make the most adorable Superman movie ever, I present his leading man. Pup, pup, and away!
Take flight with these links.
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TLC's 'Sister Wives' Explores One Man's Effort To Screw Four Spouses (Asylum)
Top 12 Most Cringeworthy Reality TV Shows FAILS (Ranker)
25 Hot Teachers (HolyTaco)
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Karissa Shannon Sex Tape Video (CelebJihad)
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Will Arnett On Kids, Stern, And 'Arrested' Developments (PopEater)
How To Properly Drink Absinthe (MadeMan)
Red-headed and adorable Emma Stone from Easy A and Zombieland has been officially cast in the Spider-man reboot, but not as the red-headed and adorable Mary Jane Watson. Stone will play Gwen Stacy, Peter Parker's blonde-haired first love interest. Say whaaaaaaat, director Marc Webb?
“The chemistry between Andrew (Garfield) and Emma was stunning and made Emma the clear choice. At the heart of the story of Peter Parker is not only the amazing Spider-Man, but also an ordinary teenager who is wondering what he has to do to get the girl. Andrew and Emma will bring everything audiences expect to these roles, but also make them their own. Much to my surprise, it was fun to find out that our choice for Gwen (Emma) is also a natural blonde.”
How he found out her natural hair color is unknown, but apparently it was "fun." Pics or it didn't happen. (TheWrap)
An offer has gone out to Jack Nicholson to reunite with Tom Cruise in El Presidente. If he signs on, Nicholson will portray a degenerate former-President who goes on the run under the protection of a Secret Service agent played by Cruise. Sounds like a mash-up of Guarding Tess and My Fellow Americans, or Knight & Day with a much more attractive co-star.
This would be the first time that Cruise and Nicholson have appeared together onscreen since the A Few Good Men. If you're not familiar with that film, check out this classic clip.
The Critic – A Few More Good Men – Watch more Funny Videos
Or something. (LA Times)
Next week’s new episode of “Chuck” brings Captain Awesome (Ryan McPartlin) and Ellie Bartowski-Woodcomb (Sarah Lancaster) into action. Premier Allejandro Goya (Armand Assante) returns to ask Awesome to come with him to his country, Costa Gavras. Ellie sees it as an exciting distraction from baby planning.
More after the jump…
This picture was created with the finest equipment 1987 had to offer…
Normally when you think of a post-apocalyptic landscape, you don't think of women as hot as Charlize Theron running around. It seems that director George Miller took this into account after he cast Theron for the Mad Max reboot. Charlize won't quite be a 10 in this movie. Really more of a 9.8.
ABC Australia has confirmed that Theron's character in Mad Max: Fury Road will be missing part of her arm (presumably the bottom), with one-armed swimmer Annabelle Williams working as her stunt double. Hmmm, strange that a one-armed swimmer would need to pick up outside work. (via Coming Soon)
He's coming for you, Bruno Mars.
NoooooooOOOOOOOOOO!!! MTV is bringing back the series "Punk'd" and they want Justin Bieber to host it. If it were April 1st I'd be more accepting of this news, but it's not, it's October 5th. We are NOT being punk'd.
The show's creators/executive producers/original hosts Ashton Kutcher and Jason Goldberg are back to exec produce, so don't go thinking the quality of the content will slip. They're all over that. Sports cars will continue to be towed and lunch orders "accidently" botched. The only difference is Justin Bieber will now emerge from around the corner to reveal the ruse with a sh*t-eating grin on his face. Let's hope 50 Cent is packing and doesn't appreciate pranks. (Deadline)
KaDee Strickland is apart of the soapy doctor drama "Private Practice" on ABC. Though luckily unseen by me, KaDee looks like the exact doctor I would like to have administer my next physical exam.
A word from KaDee: "I love wine, especially a yummy bottle of red. I have a glass once or twice a week."
More pics of Doc KaDee after the jump…
When did Maxim shoots get so old timey?
I know that I work for the Internet and am supposed to automatically love everything Simon Pegg does by default, but this trailer for Burke and Hare really doesn't portray the film in a favorable light. Andy Serkis's motion capture looks really convincing. It's almost looks like he's real.
The story is based on the true story of Irish serial killers in Edinburgh, Scotland who murder their victims to then sell them as medical cadavers. The trailer cites the desire to save enough money to bang Isla Fisher as the motive behind the slayings. I can't imagine a court where that defense wouldn't hold up.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
From the brilliant mind of Christopher Nolan comes a brain-twisting, dazzling spectacle of light and sound. You won't believe your eyes as you're sucked into the mysterious, fascinating world of the dream with only your instincts as your guide. Betrayal! Mischief! Mayhem! Love is lost. Hope is found. It's a nail-biting, teeth-clenching, hand-wringing thrill ride. Hold on tight as intrigue envelopes you. You won't look at the world the same after you experience…Inception!
Superman rescues mini Zod. It doesn't matter why.
Yesterday's announcement that Zack Snyder would helm the Christopher Nolan-godfathered Superman sent the movie nerds into an asthmatic tailspin. Inhalers were clutched, man-boobs heaved. Since then, details about the film have been popping up all over.
First up, Variety spoke to Snyder, who says it's unlikely Brandon Routh will reprise his dual role of Superman/Clark Kent from Bryan Singer's film. "We're looking in another direction," was the official comment. "Bitch, is you crazy?," was the non-official comment.
Secondly, The Hollywood Reporter is Hollywood reporting that the villian who will be throwing entire buildings at Superman in the new film will be Superman 2's General Zod. Originally played by Terrence Stamp, but hopefully played by Liam Neeson in this version. Has anyone tried to get him on the phone yet? It's not like he says no to movie roles. The man would hand out flyers in a chicken suit if the price was right.
Conan O'Brien's new TBS show begins on November 8th, and the network is starting to ramp up promotion. In this sexy new ad, Coco prepares for his new gig by washing off his desk. But instead of getting clean, Conan gets down and dirty in a scene reminiscent of Paris Hilton's famously slutty Carl's Jr. ad campaign.
While watching Conan get sprayed with a garden hose was pretty hot, I would have rather seen Jay Leno get sprayed with a fire hose, preferably in the face and genitals. But that's just me. (Coming Soon)
Watch Conan's sexy new promo after the jump…
It's not unheard of for a huge flop to kill a director's career. But usually, there's no jail time involved. Unfortunately for director John McTiernan, Rollerball isn't your usual flop.
McTiernan (Die Hard, Predator, The Hunt for Red October) was sentenced to one year in federal prison for lying about his involvement with Anthony Pellicano, a private investigator he hired to illegally wiretap producer Charles Roven. Roven and McTiernan worked together on Rollerball, and apparently when the film went south, so did their relationship.
McTiernan's attorney argued that he should not be sent to prison, in part, because he is on an anti-depressant medication not approved by the federal Bureau of Prisons. The judge sarcastically responded that "(McTiernan) won't be the only depressed man in prison."
Daaaaaamn! Yippee-ki-yay, motherf**ker! (Hit Fix)
WTF Video Of The Day: Gizmo Loves The Ganja 420 – Watch more horror
As Topless Robot so aptly put it, good luck keeping this guy from eating after midnight.
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Superman rescues mini Snyder. It doesn't matter why.
Zack Snyder is the lucky S.O.B. who has landed the directing gig for the Christopher Nolan-produced Superman: The Man of Steel. The Watchman and Sucker Punch director beat out Tony Scott, Jonathan Liebesman, Duncan Jones, Matt Reeves, Darren Aronofsky, Robert Zemeckis, and Nolan's own brother Jonah, who wrote the script. Daaaaaamn, that's cold, Chris. He's your brother. Your brother!
Family squabbles aside, Warner Bros. is a huge fan of Snyder. He's already directed three films for them, if you count the animated owl movie, and has proven he can handle major tent poles. Will Superman look awesome? Almost definitely. Will there be much emotion underneath the gloss and slow motion? We can only hope that Christopher and Jonah Nolan educate him in the way of story. That is if Jonah can quit giving him the raspberry for stealing his gig. (Deadline)
"MEEOOWWW!!!! KITCH!! KITCH!!"
Last fall, it seemed like the Bourne series was sunk when Paul Greengrass pulled a bitchfit and removed himself and star Matt Damon from a fourth Bourne film. That doesn't seem to bother Universal too much. Despite the fact that he directed Duplicity, they've just hired Tony Gilroy to direct the next chapter. Gilroy, of course, wrote each of the previous films as well as the newest script. Not sure if they plan to use Damon, recast, shoot a prequel, or go the tried-and-true route of using a cardboard cut-out. You really can't tell the difference if you shake the camera around enough. (Deadline)
Every town has a secret. While most are trivial matters, like the true age of the oldest building or the amount of led in the drinking water, some secrets are so shocking that they must be hidden from the outside world at all costs.
In Wes Craven's new film, My Soul to Take, the town of Riverton, MA, has such a secret. It seems a serial killer who died years ago is somehow managing to kill teens from beyond the grave. That's the kind of information that, if made public, could decimate attendance at the annual Blueberry Festival. But when it comes to Hollywood towns, Riverton is not alone. Here are nine of our favorite fictional towns with secrets from the world of cinema.
Derry, Maine – IT (1990)