Good news everybody!! In forty years when we're all greeting the chubby masses at Wal-Mart because there's no money left for Social Security payouts, we can at least sleep peacefully knowing that the Twilight leads/murderers are living more than comfortably. Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, and Taylor Lautner will be paid $41 million to mumble their way through The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. That breaks down to $25 million upfront plus 7.5 percent of the gross revenue. Multiply that by the fact that the gross is a f*ckload and you've got MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY!! MO' MONEY!!! That's solid arithmetic so don't even reach for your calculator.But, you know what? They've earned it. They put their privacy and safety in harms way on a daily basis. Bless those marble-mouthed youngsters and their chiseled stomachs. Now if you'll excuse me. The car I live in is being towed. Time to turn on the waterworks. (/Film)
"Reno 911" stars Thomas Lennon and Ben Garant took the time to sit down and review the porn parody of their popular Comedy Central show. Their ultimate conclusion is there's a lot more stuff in the XXX version that you can masturbate to. I hadn't ever seen the "Reno 911" porn before, so I was surprised at how well Sexy Dangle impersonates (Not Sexy?) Dangle. It's like he's really trying, which is both commendable and sad. Maybe the day will come when not all of his sketches end in a c*m shot. Check out the video review after the jump.
In today's edition of No Sh*t, Sherlock News, Roger L. Jackson, the actor who provided the voice of Ghostface killer, not rapper Ghostface Killah, in the previous Scream movies is returning for Scream 4. He pushed "staring into the abyss" two months and now there's an opening in his schedule. Jackson proclaimed in his normal voice:“It’s a lot of fun, I love the work! It’s going to be a great horror sequel.”So there you have it, the guy who does the voice of Ghostface says not to worry about all the rewrites and recasting that is going on with Scream 4, it's going to be a great horror sequel. He's elated the gang could get back together so he can continue to shake off the stink of being the voice of Skeet Ulrich. (CinemaBlend)
Our sentiments exactly.Looks like MGM's brokeassedness will cost them a lot more than just The Hobbit. The studio's historic James Bond series is also reportedly out this bitch. Production has halted on the upcoming Sam Mendes-directed Bond 23, and that it may not begin again. In fact, it could be years before we see Bond on the big screen again. Which means we'll have to spend our time mercilessly blowing up our friends with proximity mines. Which gets old after the first few hundred times. From the UK Daily Mirror:Production crew were told in April the £132million blockbuster, starring Daniel Craig, had been postponed amid “financial problems” at debt-ridden movie studio Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, which co-funded the film.But now it has confirmed the movie has been axed – and it could be years before the secret agent with a licence to kill is back on the big screen.Bond has been MGM's golden ticket for years on end. If they can't scrape together assets to make another blockbuster, it's unlikely they'll weather this storm. Better keep those Daniel Craig popsicles in the freezer for now, lame housewives and weird dudes. They're scary collector's items now.
Here's a quick video that turns "Arrested Development" into an action movie. Until I watched it, I didn't realize just how much fighting, shooting, and ziplining there was in the show. This could be a new direction for the feature film that will probably never get made. The Bluth family doesn't take kindly to anyone tearing them apart but themselves. Cue Buster mowing down a crowd of pedestrians.
Rhona Mitra is the girl to revive the Tomb Raider franchise for three reasons: She is British, she is a real actress unlike rumored Kim Kardashian, and she is a total bad ass babe with a gun as we've seen in Doomsday and Underworld 3. But in the meantime while studio execs ponder her boner appeal (think Hollow Man) catch her in the summer series "The Gates" on ABC, yet another show about vampires.A word from Rhona: "I never know if I want to be running across the fields with no clothes on or sitting in the pub drinking Guinness."Either way, you sound like an alcoholic. More pics of Rhona with little clothes on after the jump.
I'm not even trying anymore.Today in Cuckoo Bananas News comes word that Javier Bardem will guest star on the next season of "Glee," and apparantly it was his idea. Bardem pitched the idea to Ryan Murphy, show creator and sex-banner, while working together on the set of Eat Pray Love. He explained to Entertainment Weekly in a gravelly, seductive voice that heretofore has only existed within the lust-soaked pages of Harlequin novels:“We’re going to rock the house,” enthuses Bardem, who became an unabashed Gleek after watching the entire first season in one week. “We’re going to do some heavy metal — Spanish heavy metal, which is the worst.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, Javier. DO NOT insult the work of Brujeria. You have no idea the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that went into making "The Mexicutioner." Granted, most of it was from groupies but still….
Wicked Lasers designed a blue laser called the Spyder III Pro Arctic that looks an awful lot like a lightsaber. It has the ability to kill people, and LucasFilm has a problem with that. Even the warning on the product itself basically says not to turn the thing on: Warning: Extremely dangerous is an understatement to the power of 1W of laser power. It will blind permanently and instantly and set fire quickly to skin and other body parts, use with extreme caution and only when using the included eye protection. Customers will be required to completely read and agree to our Class IV Laser Hazard Acknowledgment Form. It doesn't get more metal than setting fire to skin and other body parts. Do they mean body parts not covered by skin? What kind of creature is handling these miracles of modern science? Apparently those pussies at LucasFilm can't handle the shear awesomeness of death lasers: It has come to our attention that a company called Wicked Lasers is selling a highly dangerous product out of Hong Kong that is designed to look like a lightsaber from Star Wars. This product is not licensed or approved by Lucasfilm in any way. We have demanded that Wicked Lasers immediately cease and desist their infringing activities. As Wicked Lasers itself admits, this product can cause serious injury to the user and other people. We strongly discourage consumers from purchasing it. I guess I get it. Someone sells a product that resembles a cherished icon from your landmark films, and said product sets some kid on fire, you might wind up with egg on your face. But it's awesome blue egg that emits a 445nm ultra high power 1W beam which appears up to 4000% brighter than the Sonar's 405nm violet beam! Check out video of the Spyder III after the jump…
Very rudely, the Predator race has used the planet as their personal playground without so much as a tip of the hat.This year, they're back, and they're taking some of us with them back to their personal game reserve. I may sound bitter, and that's probably unfair to the Predators. Actually, they've been integral to world history, as I've wanted to showcase. Thanks for the pyramids, you greedy, trigger-happy jerks!
He's made Adrien Brody go full-retard and Mark Wahlberg apologize to plants, but it looks like M. Night Shyamalan won't have the opportunity to shame Bradley Cooper. The A-Team star, who has flown tanks and willingly posed for the above picture, has opted out of Shyamalan's next project (which the Law of Averages dictates will be terrible) due to "schedule conflicts." Mmmmm-hmmmm.It's believed that Cooper will be tied up with The Hangover 2, but the news comes at a suspicious time as Shyamalan's The Last Airbender is drawing the worst reviews of the year. And let's not forget, Furry Vengeance and Clash of the Titans came out this year. Ryan Reynolds would be wise to screen his calls for the next few weeks. (Philly.com)
Last month, director/screenwriter Corey Edwards started a pissing match with the Weinstein Brothers over a possible new Fraggle movie. In a post on his blog, Edwards claimed that the Weinsteins were searching for a new screenwriter because his version was not "edgy" enough. Now comes word that Edwards and the Weinsteins have cleared the air, probably due to the fact that Edwards is contractually obligated to direct the film. I’ve been able to sit down with Weinstein’s new VP of Development and really talk about their issues with the movie. We’ve had some very good conversations about what they think “edgy” is and what I think “edgy” is. We got down to the philosophies of why to even make a Fraggle movie in the first place. And I think they’ve been able to qualify their word “edgy” with the word “older.” They want this movie to connect with an older, more sophisticated audience. I'm surprised this is even an issue. What can be more "sophisticated" than a bunch of glorified sock puppets singing and dancing in a magical underground world? As the following quote from Jim Henson demonstrates, sophistication is what the Fraggles are all about. "It is a high-energy, raucous musical romp. It's a lot of silliness. It's wonderful." (/Film)
Robert Rodriguez wants to make Sin City 2. Fans want to see Sin City 2. Studios and theater owners want to make money off of Sin City 2? So what the hell's the hold up on Sin City 2?Apparently, Rodriguez just hasn't been able to find the time for a followup. After all, Spy Kids 4 and The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl aren't going to make themselves.But now comes word that Rodriguez has finally started a much needed rewrite to the Sin City 2 script, and the director is still very excited about the project. With any luck, fans will be seeing violent, on-screen castrations before the end of the decade. (Cinema Blend)
When James Cameron isn't saving the indigenous people of South America or cleaning up the BP oil spill, he spends time on his favorite hobby: filmmaking. Currently, Cameron is tinkering with a little-known film called Titanic. It was originally released in 1997 and was primarily shown in art-house theaters and on college campuses. Now, Cameron hopes to bring his work to a wider audience by converting it to 3D and re-releasing it to theaters in April of 2012.2012 marks the 100th anniversary of the Titanic's sinking, which went down on April 14th, 1912, much to the delight of melodramatic film lovers everywhere. (/Film)
How bad is Twilight: Eclipse? It's so bad that men in the prime of their lives are dropping dead after a single viewing. Don't believe me? Then how do you explain this poor "transient" in New Zealand? The body of the man was found in a movie theatre at the Reading complex on Courtenay Place by a staff member shortly before 8.30pm last night, said police. The theatre had been screening The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.Well, there you have it. Twilight kills. What other explanation can there be for why a 23-year-old transient would drop dead? Haven't you seen Hobo with a Shotgun? They're practically indestructible. (NZHerald)
Yaya DaCosta may not be a face well known to the big screen with indie exceptions The Messenger and Honeydipper, your girlfriend has seen her as "American's Next Top Model" first runner-up, on cosmetic commericals of Olay lotions, and "Ugly Betty." She'll be turning in a performance in The Kids Are All Right this week, and then be popping up in X-mas-can't-come-any-sooner Tron Legacy as one of the sexy game Sirens.A word from Yaya: "Both my parents are educators. My siblings and I always had to get good grades no matter what outside interests we had.”I aced all my classes and still found time to sculpt ceramic elephants. The clubs at my school were weird.More pics of Yaya after the jump.
Someone finally made a song about the awesomeness that is Bruce Willis. The music video for Jeep Cherokee's catchy little diddy plays out like a montage of cinematic bad-assery. They even included Striking Distance and The Color of Night. Now that's what I call comprehensive. Check out I'm Bruce Willis after the jump…
With every passing day, it becomes increasingly likely that MGM's no money-induced mo' problems will doom The Hobbit to development hell. Now, at the risk of losing Gandalf the Grey, it's time for MGM to take a lush, sprawling, epic sh*t or get off the high fantasy pot. Sidenote: Led Zeppelin would not be half as successful without high fantasy pot.Sir Ian McKellan sat down with New Zealand's Good Morning show to discuss how he may be out this bitch:"Well, I’m not under contract and my time is running out and I’m enjoying working in the theater and frankly, I would like to race after doing 'Waiting For Godot,' get on with doing another play but we’ll have to see. I don’t give the producers the impression that I’m sitting waiting." Yikes. Looks like a decision needs to be made sooner than later. There's plenty of septugenarians willing to wear a robe and yell incoherent words. But Sir Ian McKellan is the one least likely to bite the 1st Assistant Director. (via Bleeding Cool)CHECK OUT SIR IAN'S INTERVIEW AFTER THE JUMP IN CASE YOU DON'T TAKE MY WORD AT FACE VALUE. IF THAT'S SO, WE NEED TO WORK ON US…
'Bout time we see Jason Momoa causing pain as Conan the Barbarian. The first pic released showed him, what looked like, smelling a fart, completely not covered in someone else's blood. I'm not sure why water is spraying at him in the above pic, but my guess is one of those barrels they place on the side of the highway clipped him while he was trying to make the exit, and he had to lay the smackdown. If this movie is about Conan battling an army of road barricades it's going to be awesome. (/Film)
Different-alien-movie burn.Here are your July 4th weekend links.The New Spiderman: Who Is Andrew Garfield? (Moviefone)Food Sex–Is It Porn (Asylum)An 'Airbender' Blunder? M. Night Thrashed By Critics (PopEater)Friday Free For All: Listen Up, Haters (FilmDrunk)A Thank You Letter To Creepy Late Night Gas Stations (HolyTaco)Fan Made 'Green Hornet' Art (Unreality)2010 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest (BroBible)Ahhh Minor League Coach Blows Up On Umpire (TotalProSports)Inappropriate Movie Mom Crushes (Maxim)Why UFC Fighters Leave MMA Behind (CagePotato)Mel Gibson Speaks Out About His Recent Comments (CelebJihad)10 Places Not To Hold A Baby (Smosh)Five Best And Worst Films Of 2010 So Far (Pajiba)John McCain Comes Out To 'Meet The Press' (Atom)Hemingway Days Key West Celebration (MadeMan)
Warner Bros. released the teaser poster for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows and it's grim as all get out. With the tag "It All Ends Here" looming above a flaming Hogwarts, someone in marketing must have desired tears from avid Potter fans. If you look really closely you can even see Harry screaming for his life in the far right tower window. Look closer. Clooooser.Haha. You dummy. When will you learn not to trust me?
With Sony finally naming Andrew Garfield as the heir to the Spider-Man throne, it was shaping up to be a good week for movie reporting. Not because I'm excited by his work. I don't even know it. I'm just excited that someone finally made a decision, and we can sail into the holiday weekend without further annoyances. But now it looks like Scream 4 is going to fill the void left by Sony's sudden on-set of decisiveness. Zap2It has news that the Scream 4 soup has been pissed in.It's being reported that series creator Kevin Williamson has been released from the project and series detractor Ehren Kruger has been brought on to rework the script. Now castmembers are jumping off left and right as the script is said to have been immensely "dumbed down." As a huge fan of the first two films and a guy who wants to punch the third film in the stomach, I really hope these reports aren't true. And if they are, I hope Kruger is able to redeem himself after the way he mishandled the conclusion to the original trilogy. Bring your A game, Ehren, like you did on The Ring. David Arquette deserves at least that much.
Paparazzi recently snapped Britney Spears getting a brain freeze while enjoying her Starbucks Frappuccino.
Will.i.am is saying things. Namely, that James Cameron is writing and directing a 3D concert film for his group The Black Eyed Peas. Well, this is obviously the truth. Cameron is well known for his laidback attitude and enjoyment of jokes and good times all around, so OF COURSE he'd force Fergie's humps upon us in three dimensions.Sure, it sounds like a project far more suited for McG but keep in mind James Cameron is on the rebound. He was recently shot down by BP, only to have them run off with Kevin Costner. Rejection does funny things to a man. Like, make them flush away all credibility by teaming up with the Nickelback of hip-hop. Or sleep with a homeless woman during a bender. What's most important is that nobody is being judged here. (Vibe)
Michael Bay doesn't eff with that post-conversion 3D bullsh*t. He's bringing 3D cameras to the set of Transformers 3, and he's bringing them hard. Looks like the director who spits on the idea of static shots has dumped his old school filmmaking ways by making the switch from film to video. Vince Pace, Innovator of FUSION 3D and 2D digital camera systems developed with James Cameron, laid down the skinny for MarketSaw:“Trying to lay low and do what I do best. We took delivery of the first Alexa cameras for Hugo and have 23 more on the way. Transformers has also signed on to shoot 3D throughout the film. I am working on a big Disney film but can’t mention the name and are lining up five more films. Just wrapped on additional photography for Resident Evil and Tron. Currently in Hawaii and flying out to London for Hugo.”It must be nice to be smart enough to invent new technology. I reckon someone could make quite the hefty profit owning an idea and all. Vince Pace has his digital camera systems he rents to Michael Bay and Martin Scorsese, and I have my automatic super absorbant juicer rag I rent to my slow neighbor. Splitting hairs really. (/Film)
Bryce Dallas Howard sure turned out hot considering she's got Richie Cunningham genes plugging up her human genome. She made M. Night Shymalan's The Village easier to bear, and Lady in the Water, well, even if her mermaid character was topless she couldn't have saved that movie. A word from Bryce: "Right now as an artist, what I want to do is be a part of works that are unignorable. I couldn't be less interested in how people receive it, honestly. As long as it's unignorable."If you want to be a part of something that's unignorable go clean up oil on the Gulf Coast, not star in a movie about vampires with stripper diamond dust on their skin. More pics of the fiery red head after the jump.
Scream 4's mission to make me take my pants off in a movie theater continues. Previous casting choices have included Hayden Panettiere, Marley Shelton, and Marielle Jaffe. Not to mention the near miss with Ashley Greene. Just this morning, "Mad Men" and "Community" actress Alison Brie has signed on to play the assistant to Neve Campbell's Sidney, who is described as both ambitious and jealous of her boss's fame.It's also likely she'll appear in a risque Entertainment Weekly photospread with her female co-stars, beneath the heading "Scream Queens." No word yet on if any of the girls will be kissing a little bit. (The Wrap)
Yesterday, fairly unknown British actor Andrew Garfield was awarded the coveted role of Peter Parker in the Spider-Man reboot. You can "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!" right here. Sony made the official announcement at a press event in Cancun, Mexico for international journalists attending a media tour promoting upcoming films from Sony Pictures Entertainment. Personally, I feel Garfield is more suited to play Ichabod Crane or bass in Coldplay than Spider-man, but what do I know. I don't run a studio and sleep on 2,000 thread count sheets. Yet…Check out pics and video from the event below.
GUN!!!!!!The best thing about the Twilight buzz machine is when Kristen Stewart sits down for an unsupervised interview, while her publicist fills her purse in the hospitality suite. The girl puts her foot in her mouth at the craziest of angles so consistently that I've felt we need a new section called Dumb Things Kristen Stewart Says. Actually, she goes off the PR rails so often we could dedicate our entire site to it. And then a book deal. And then a sitcom. I'm digressing. The latest diarrhea to dribble out of Kristen's opinion-hole paints her adoring fans as crazed lunatics (something we've been in the business of doing for awhile now). From Hello! magazine:"I don't feel very comfortable on the red carpet. Sometimes I get really excited for what I'm going to and then try to take good pictures and go inside… I literally have to keep myself from crying sometimes. I look out there at a thousand people and I realize they could rush me and assassinate me. No security could protect me. Ostensibly they're fans, but I think about them turning on me."Relax, Kristen. If you ever feel unsafe in a crowd of Twihards, just mumble for help. If that fails, run in the opposite direction. It's likely they'll lose their breath before making it to that Jamba Juice over there by that green car. (via CinemaBlend)
Abigail Spencer has joined the cast of the upcoming Jon Favreau movie, Cowboys and Aliens. Co-starring Daniel Craig, Olivia Wilde, Harrison Ford and Sam Rockwell, the film is still in its early stages, and will not be released until July of 2011.Spencer is best known for playing the mistress of Don Draper on the hit AMC show, "Mad Men." Not wanting to by typecast, she branched out and took the roll of a prostitute in Cowboys and Aliens. ZING!
Do you like Bill Murray? Do you like Robert Duvall? Do you like smug "indie dramedies?" Then you're going to love, Get Low, the story of a mysterious old man who wants to have his funeral whille…get this…HE'S STILL ALVIE! How disgustingly clever. Don't get me wrong, with a cast like that, I'm sure it's a great film. But after watching the trailer, I got the urge to drive over to Steven Soderbergh's house and punch him in the face even though he's not involved with the film. I mean, just look at the dialogue. Radio Interviewer: "How are you today, sir?" Robert Duvall's Character: "I am." Oh, shut the f**k up and stop being so playfully mysterious, you smug bastard! And tell Bill Murray's character to stop being so god damn witty! Watch the Get Low trailer after the jump.