You want Bilbo Baggins, Freeman wants a Kit-Kat.
People are talking about The Hobbit again. Yesterday, The Sun reported that New Line and MGM were doing everything short of offering up hookers to land Martin Freeman (The British "The Office") for the role of Bilbo Baggins. We obviously dismissed it because The Sun has as much clout as Highlights Magazine, but now Entertainment Weekly is reporting that the rumors are true. TRUE!
It was at first thought that Freeman declined the offer to star in the inevitable blockbuster due to his committment to the BBC series "Sherlock." Well someone must have screamed some sense in his face because the studios are now working out a deal that would allow him to appear in both projects. If they land the actor, all they'll need to worry about next is money and a director. Those kind of major factors usually fall into place last minute though. Take it from MGM, the studio without a bush to piss in or a lion's den to throw it out of.
As any self-respecting stalker of Helen Mirren can tell you, Hollywood's sexiest old lady has teamed up with Bruce Willis for the upcoming action-thriller type movie, Red. But what they might not know unless they have a Google Alert set up for "hot geriatric ass" is that an excerpt from the film was just released. Luckily, I do, and I'm more than willing to keep you posted on such matters.
In the clip, Mirren and Willis discuss life after retirement. Of course, the pair are retired spies, which makes it a much more interesting conversation than it would be if they had been insurance salesmen, postal employees, etc.
Keep in mind I'm stealing this synopsis from Collider since I can't get the damn video to load on my connection. Up yours, Iola, Kansas public library.
Watch Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren talk some sh*t out after the jump…
The veil has been lifted on Aziz Ansari and Danny McBride's super-secret comedy project. Not 30 Minutes Or Less. We already know about that one. I'm talking about their other comedy project. The comedians are teaming up again for Olympic-Size A**hole. Written by Ansari and Harris Wittels, it's a revenge flick that follows McBride and Ansari as they set out to destroy an Olympic athlete that banged their girlfriends.
The title, Olympic-Size A**hole, may change as it could easily be mistaken for a Lindsay Lohan biopic. (MTV)
Melinda Clarke is one actress you may know as Jerry Seinfeld's girl on the famous 'Muffin Tops' episode. Since then Melinda has made a name for herself playing deadly courgarish women on "The O.C." and "CSI," and this week she'll be continuing down the sexy/deadly path of television with the premiere of "Nikita."
A word from Melinda: "I'm getting a lot of roles as women who are very powerful. I think that's a reflection of me as a person."
I don't think "O.C." fans would have a problem calling your character a bitch. Not quite the reflection she's looking for, I'm sure.
More pics of Melinda after the jump…
Joel McHale is in final talks to star opposite Jessica Alba in Robert Rodriguez's Spy Kids 4. In the sequel, Alba would play a retired spy married to McHale, a spy-hunting reporter. When a nefarious villain returns on the scene, Alba is pulled back into the business. And she takes her stepkids along for the ride.
No word yet on the youngsters that will carry the picture, but if I were the little boy I'd get a jump on the spying by placing webcams in Alba's dressing room. I work method. (Variety)
Matrix-Big Lebowski Mash-Up – Watch more Funny Videos
If there's one guy who will never understand the complexities of The Matrix it's probably The Dude. But that doesn't stop Morpheus from trying. This mash-up beautifully cuts together the two movies to create a hilarious conversation between two characters who live life on completely different plains. Except for their fondness of narcotics. (FilmDrunk)
Reynolds will do your damn scene in a minute.
Robert Schwentke has officially signed on to tell Ryan Reynolds how to hold his gun in R.I.P.D. The director is taking advantage of the buzz he's generated with the upcoming Red starring Bruce Willis and Helen Mirren. He's decided to try the whole action movie thing with a cast that's currently ineligable for a AARP discount.
Reynolds will get right into the role of police officer for the dead after he completes the 20,000 other projects he has lined up. Change-Up is first on the docket, followed by Safe House with Denzel Washington. Shooting will start late next summer on R.I.P.D. Until that time, Schwentke will be following Reynolds around, tapping his foot impatiently and staring at his watch. (Deadline)
“I hate Adam Sandler movies.”
I used to get pissed off when I’d hear someone say that. First of all, it should be “Sandler’s movies,” not “Sandler movies.” Not that I’m a grammar Nazi, but come on! Second, what‘s not to like?
When pressed, most Sandler haters would reply with something along the lines of “his movies are stupid.” Of course they’re stupid. Most comedies are. But Sandler’s don’t pretend to be anything more. If you want something “intellectual,” go whack off to Vicky Cristina Barcelona. I prefer to laugh.
Michael Caine has admitted on record that the only reason he did Jaws: The Revenge was for the money and the free trip to the Bahamas. "I have never seen it, but by all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific!" So, there's not much surprise that he's agreed to co-star opposite the Rock in the Hawaii-based Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. Plus, he gets to work with Cats & Dogs 2: The Revenge Of Kitty Galore director Brad Peyton. What actor would turn down that opportunity?!
In the film, he'll portray Josh Hutcherson's adventure-seeking granddad who wanders off and winds up on a mysterious island. This will be an action-heavy role for Caine that will see him squaring off against giant bees. If you listen closely, that beeping sound is a dump truck full of money backing up to Oscar-winner Michael Caine's terrific house. (THR)
In a recent interview with MTV, director Reuben Fleischer spoke about a possible sequel to his hit film, Zombieland. While he is currently preoccupied with his latest project, 30 Minutes or Less, Fleischer expressed interest in shooting the second installment in 3D…if he shoots it at all.
When it comes to 3D, I feel pretty strongly that you should shoot it in camera. I feel like it just looks so much better. If you're going to make a 3D movie, go ahead and make a 3D movie. I would definitely, if we do 'Zombieland 2,' make it in 3D and want to shoot it in 3D.
I'm not sure I totally agree with that statement. Clash of the Titans wasn't shot in 3D, and the film looked awesome after the conversion. Of course, I never actually watched the film. I just took a bag of mushrooms and stared at the poster until the theater manager asked me to leave. But still, the scene where Liam Neeson craps in the parking lot is amazing. Or was that me? Either way, great movie. (Dread Central)
You may remember this Visa commercial with the Tomorrow Never Dies tie-in, but I bet you don't remember that your favorite buxom redhead stopped Bond at the pass.
These links require I.D.
'Better Off Dead' 25th Anniversary Of The Cult Comedy (Moviefone)
'Hood Dates'– Skee-Ball And Scum At Coney Island (Asylum)
The Worst Movies Of All Time (Ranker)
My 4 Most Memorable Moments From College (HolyTaco)
Casey Affleck Sats Joaquin Phoenix Documentary 'No Hoax' (FilmDrunk)
21 Awesome Police Cars (Maxim)
Former WWE Star Arrested For Dealing Meth And Oxycontin (BarStoolSports)
25 Extremely Lame Knuckle Tattoos (EgoTV)
10 Movies You'd Never, Ever Want To Watch With Your Parents (Pajiba)
Mario And Chun Li Get Drunk And Swap Clothes (Unreality)
BMX Nutshot + Face Plant (TotalProSports)
Hokey Spokes (Smosh)
Top 20 Colleges To Attend For One Semester (BroBible)
Jennifer Love Hewitt In Lingerie Sexy Again (CelebJihad)
Will Chuck Retire His Mohawk, Too? (CagePotato)
'Sister Wives' Brings 'Big Love' To Reality TV (PopEater)
Elvis's Mercedes-Benz 600 (MadeMan)
The new film Catfish wants to get people talking, but maybe not in the way it has. Since its premiere at Sundance, the film has made an impact on viewers. It begins with NY photographer Yaniv Schulman starting a Facebook relationship with a Midwestern family, then goes to a dark place. Some people are calling bullsh*t on filmmakers Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost. They’re sticking to their story though.
“This question of whether the film is real or not never occurred to us while we were editing because why would you ever suspect that people would be suspicious of something that actually happened to you,” Joost said at a roundtable in Los Angeles today. “But when we started showing it at Sundance, that’s when we started getting questions from the audience. When we were making the film, there were many times when we thought wow, this is too good to be true in a lot of ways, or I can’t believe that just happened the way that it did or that we captured that in the way that we did, but it really happened. That’s the truth.”
More after the jump…
Do you excel at hitting your friends in the nuts, and sticking things up your butt? If so, it makes you qualified to be a member of the Jackass crew. Johnny Knoxville and his Jackass 3D peeps are hosting the first Jackass 3D Prank Contest.
To enter, all you need to do is submit a description or drawing of your most outrageous prank to the official site. No video submissions will be accepted. If you win, you'll be flown out to shoot your prank with the cast of Jackass 3D. You can enter at the contest's site HERE.
Here's my submission:
Imagine Wee Man in the middle.
Amy Poehler will host the 36th season premiere of "Saturday Night Live" on September 25 with musical guest Katy Perry. That's on a Saturday. Considering that everyone is either leaving (Will Forte) or getting fired (possibly Jenny Slate), the "SNL" alum and star of "Parks and Recreation" might have to calm the nerves of newbie cast members.
Hopefully it won't turn out like last year's season premiere, in which Jenny Slate uttered the word "f*ckin'" on live television. You can't do that kind of stuff, Jenny Slate! Now her head is on Lorne Michaels's chopping block. I don't watch the show anymore, but I've been told by people who do that Slate is groan-worthy. If you're going to shoot off at the mouth like sailor you should at least get people laughing. Off with her head, Lorne! (Deadline)
"You do not sink Liam Neeson's Battleship."
Liam Neeson may have missed out at the chance to play Abraham Lincoln, but he will be DAMNED if he misses the opportunity to work with Rihanna. Zeus has signed on to play an Admiral in Peter Berg's cuckoo-bananas film adaptation of the Hasbro board game.
More specifically, Neeson will play Admiral Shane, the father to Brooklyn Decker's character and future father-in-law to Taylor Kitsch (if you care about the soap opera aspects of Battleship). No word yet if the film will feature any Krakken releasing. (Deadline)
You Again might not be a Screen Junkies type of movie, but Sigourney Weaver will always be a SJ type of lady. If the Disney comedy is the excuse to…
Bianca Lawson is no stranger to television, having appeared most recently in "The Vampire Diaries" all the way back to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." See a trend here? She also played Megan on "Saved by the Bell: The New Class," the spin-off that only Screech and Belding stuck around for.
A word from Bianca: "I want to go to Rome. I want to go to Italy so bad."
Then do it with that sweet "Saved by the Bell" money. And take Dustin Diamond along with you.
The new fall TV season is upon us. If you’ve been following my sage advice for fall TV viewing of the new shows, you’ve probably been eagerly anticipating my last installment in the series. Well anticipate no more. Here it is. I saved the sci-fi/supernatural/fantasy shows for last because…it was the last category I picked out of the hat. Regardless, it’s an important segment of your TV viewing and one show deserves your attention. Another show does not.
Whether you are a science fiction/comic book fan or not, these shows will be one of your choices this fall. Read on…
WATCH IT: “No Ordinary Family” (ABC), Tuesdays at 8 pm (ET)
Piranha 3D is a movie of the people. Especially people who have always wanted to see Jerry O'Connell have his wiener bitten off (you know who you are). Producers of the inevitable sequel want to stay in the good graces of the fans, so they are making Piranha 3D: Part Two an interactive movie.
That's right! You, Joe Q. Public, can decide which celebrity will be cast to meet a gory demise in the next film. There's no info yet on how to vote, so I'm going to walk out into Times Square and begin shouting "Gary Busey!!" If I do that long enough, two things may happen: 1) producers will receive my vote, 2) the real Gary Busey will show up before me. He's like a "Bewitched" character in that way. (NY Post)
"Hey guys, can I look?!"
The Disney animated feature Mulan slipped right under my pre-teen radar, but I've never heard a person sing its praises like one might for The Lion King or Pocahontas (JK! The animals don't even speak!). Jan De Bont, the director of Speed and Twister, must have been touched by it though. A few international producers are handing him over a boatload of cash to turn Mulan into a live action movie with Zhang Ziyi in the lead. De Bont already tackled Lara Croft, so he understands the intricacies of bad-ass female characters, and how to best battle robots in tombs. I'm sure this applies to Mulan.
If you need a brush up on your (Disney) history, the film tells the tale of "Hua Mulan, the legendary young heroine soldier who joins an all-male army." From my understanding, it wasn't an 80s comedy and Mulan wasn't a newspaper journalist trying to get a big promotion by exposing how gross guys are. (THR)
My favorite media event of the entire year is the Television Critics Association press tour. For two weeks, every network and cable station brings their talent to have presentations with their stars and producers for the TV critics. At night they host parties where you can just roam around and find celebrities to pester.
Comcast Networks held their party outdoors in the Oasis Garden at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. When I found G4 “Attack of the Show’s” Alison Haislip, she was shivering in a clingy black skirt. At least it wasn’t as bad as the lingerie models floating in the fountain. I found Haislip a heat lamp where we could chat about guest hosting for Olivia Munn, old school video games, and technology.
Screen Junkies: Were you always grooming yourself to fill in on “Attack of the Show” or was there an opening you seized?
Alfonso Cuaron and Warner Bros have had a hard time finding a leading lady to anchor Gravity after Angelina Jolie has declared herself anti-Gravity twice. A slew of actresses including Rebecca Hall, Naomi Watts, Sandra Bullock, Marion Cottilard, Blake Lively, Sienna Miller, Abbie Cornish, Scarlett Johannson, Olivia Wilde, and Carey Mulligan have been approached for the role, but none have agreed to float at zero G's in a room full of Teamsters. Now, there's news that Natalie Portman may be buying a box of Dramamine.
A firm offer has gone out to the actress after early buzz about Black Swan has her on track for an Oscar. The belief is that if she can handle that challenging role, she's more than capable of carrying the unofficial Lost In Space sequel. (THR)
The class-acts over at FilmDrunk were kind enough to put together this montage of 20 classic movie farts, and boy is it a gas (keep your damn rimshot!). They're also quick to point out that three of the films are Academy Award winners. Note to future filmmakers: More poopy jokes!
Check out the toots after the jump…
Ridley Scott will make the Alien prequels even if he doesn't feel like it, if only to spite James Cameron. The director told the Independent that Cameron has raised the bar, and "he’s not going to get away with it." Dems sounds like fightin' words! Ridley was upset when he wasn't asked to make Aliens, and then Cameron came along and pissed in his soup. Except Cameron's piss, arguably, improved the franchise. Now Ridley wants to piss back with even better piss.
"The film will be really tough, really nasty… It's the dark side of the moon. We are talking about gods and engineers. Engineers of space. And were the aliens designed as a form of biological warfare? Or biology that would go in and clean up a planet?"
You had me at "engineers of space." If these movies focusing on The Space Jockey of the first Alien film never happen, I'm pitching "Engineers of Space" to the The History Channel. I'm certain the title alone will land me a production deal.
Meanwhile, The Playlist dug up an interview that Gemma Arterton did with the Sunday Times in which she says, "Ridley Scott saw Alice Creed and he loved it. He wants me to meet for Aliens: The Remake, or something." As you can tell by her attention to detail, Arterton is watching this project like hawk. Only time will tell if she could be the new Ripley. Ridley first has to take time off from poking his Cameron voodoo doll to meet with her. (CinemaBlend)
While doing my daily rounds of visiting every site on the Internet, I came across pictures of Rooney Mara in costume as Lisbeth Salander over at RooneyMara.net. The pics show a leather-clad Mara riding a motorbike while sporting short black hair.
Rooney landed the role in David Fincher's adaptation after facing fierce competition. Every young actress in Hollywood was clamoring to test for the part. And now that we've seen the first pics, I can say that between the pale skin, pouty expression, and spunky, black hair, Frank Dillane was robbed.
Check out more pics after the jump…
In this new clip from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) and Bretton Woods (Josh Brolin) get all up in each others' business practices. When Gecko takes Bretton to task for his sub-primes, you know it's on like 4:59PM on the floor of the Stock Exchange. My brow gets sweaty just thinking of these two ruthless businessmen discussing market liquidity. You have to build up to that kind of conflict, though.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps crashes into theaters September 24th.
Check out the financial disses after the jump…
How could someone so young cut a nose off to spite a face?
Here are your Labor Day Weekend links.
10 Movie Trailers That Are Nothing Like The Actual Movies (ModernMan)
Our Favorite Romantic-Comedy Scene Stealers (Moviefone)
He Got Severed! Video Captures Fan Fight At U.S. Open (Asylum)
10 Things Women Can Do That Men Can't (Ranker)
25 Pics Of Hot Chicks With Knives (HolyTaco)
Machete? More Like Meh-chete (FilmDrunk)
Eye Candy With Eyepatches (Maxim)
Horribly Disappointing Floyd Mayweather Rant (BarStoolSports)
A Tribute To Girls And Their Guns (EgoTV)
Kiefer Sutherland Career Assessment (Pajiba)
9 Prominent Actors Unexpectedly And Quickly Killed Off In Movies (Unreality)
Nyger Morgan Brawl Is Even More Exciting In Japanese! (TotalProSports)
Machete Star In Every Movie Ever Made (Smosh)
9 Ugly Shirts To Wear At A Party (BroBible)
JWoww Infested With Bed Bugs (CelebJihad)
CP Represents On Hammer Fisted's Latest Podcast (CagePotato)
Montana Fishburne's Further Porn Debut Talk (PopEater)
Volvo C70 T5 Review (MadeMan)
Safety first. Hello Kitty second.
Steven Soderbergh is gearing up to offend China. The director has decided to dredge up bad SARS memories by setting his next film Contagion in Hong Kong. Kate Winslet, Jude Law, Matt Damon, and Laurence Fishburne have all signed up to come down with a case of the Hong Kong Achooeys in the virus gone wild drama. Hong Kong native Josie Ho has also signed on to play the sister of "Patient Zero" aka that asshole that never buys his own Chapstick. (THR)
It's the Friday before the holiday weekend so news is slower than my bowl movements when I'm on vacation. I could bore you with more casting news that you don't care about, or I could show you the dance remix of the Crazy Coffee Lady.
In case you're not up to date, the other day a video hit the interwebz of a woman giving an animated testimony of her brush with death. She was getting coffee at a Shell station when two robbers busted in. I'll let her explain the rest because I won't do it justice.
The original video is after the jump.
Oren Peli, the writer-director of the indie hit Paranormal Activity is looking to get his feet wet in the world of television. Peli is close to landing a deal with ABC to bring his original drama idea "The River" to primetime. According to Deadline, "The River follows the story of a famed adventurer/TV personality who goes missing and is presumed dead deep in the Amazon. His friends and crew go to look for him on their state-of-the-art research vessel." The show would be shot shakey-cam-style (cinema verite to all you elitists) like Paranormal Activity, a trend that's quickly becoming tiresome.
I'm not sure how you make an entire series out of that premise, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. I'm more concerned about this "state-of-the-art" research vessel. Such words make James Cameron's ears ring. If he gets word that people are doing "research" near "water" he could take the whole thing over and turn it into an Omnimax documentary about indigenous jungle wildlife.