Now that the Losties have shuffled off to be BFFs in Cheesy Plot Twist Heaven, we finally figure what the hell was happening on that island thanks to this short epilogue. Ben Linus takes a trip to Guam to lay-off Sammy Haggar and Bill Nye the Science Guy and agrees to answer one question from each. And then gather around the television to watch a six-minute DVD. He's a busy man. A busy man dressed like Mr. Furley.
Here's a quick rundown of what precious answers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse decide to share with us (bear in mind that I'm paraphrasing): dumb, dumb, stupid. dumb, WWAAALLLLTTTTT!!!!!!, dumb. The End. Thanks for watching!
Check out the video and frustration after the jump…
Bustin' makes him feel goooooood.
There's a rumor going around Tinz Town that Christoph Waltz may encourage Mary Jane Watson to wait for the cream. The Inglourious Basterds bad man is said to be in Sony's sights to play the villian in the upcoming Spider-Man 3D reboot. Note that they are only interested. Waltz hasn't indicated that he's interested. However, he did agree to star in Paul W. S. Anderson's Three Musketeers, so it's not like he's picky.
Whether Waltz is sought for the role of the Lizard or Green Goblin is unclear as of right now. Perhaps he's a method actor and got lost in his Basterds' Jew Hunter role. Y'know, you see the name "Spiderman" on paper and you just kinda assume. (The Playlist)
We keep getting casting news on The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo except the news we care about. No, they still haven't found the actress who will play the computer hacker Lisbeth Salander, but Robin Wright has joined the film as Daniel Craig's casual f*ck buddy. According to Deadline, Wright "is in talks to play Erika Berger, the publisher of crusading finance magazine Millennium, and the occasional lover of journalist Mikael Blomkvist."
With Fincher directing, I hope Wright and Craig remember to stay well-hydrated. He'll have them simulating sex take after take after take to Nine Inch Nails until they can't possibly simulate sex any longer. Craig will get frustrated, Wright will get sore, and Fincher will confer with Brad Pitt, who I assume lives in his shirt pocket.
Terry Crews is your go-to big funny guy bad ass. He can make you laugh as well as rip out your throat — just look at those Old Spice Ads. As we've seen since White Chicks, he can be the funniest and most compelling character on screen. And on top of all that, he was a running back for the San Diego Chargers in the 90s.
Highly Debatable Best Role: President Camacho in Idiocracy
Weird Fact: Crews was chosen to be a series regular known as the urban warrior, T-Money on "Battle Dome."
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
The age-old question of what if Arnold Schwarzenegger did the voice of Darth Vader in Star Wars instead of James Earl Jones has finally been answered. I can't wait until George Lucas re-releases all six films with this new, more appropriate dubbing.
Check out the video after the jump…
Jesse Jane has lived the american dream, from banging Tommy Lee in a VIP night club to starring in the most expensive porn movies made to date. This week she'll be showing her duck-lipped face in Middle Men, playing herself, of course.
A word from Jesse: [on shooting in HD] "Everything is exaggerated. A blemish can look huge, and it's impossible to disguise bumps and bruises with makeup, because the makeup stands out, as well. You have to be very careful."
And imagine the breast implant scars. They must look like untreated battle wounds.
More pics of Jesse doing unintentional duck faces after the jump…
Four young actresses are in the running to play opposite Casey Affleck in The F Word. Rebecca Hall, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rose Byrne, Deborah Ann Woll are expected to camera test for the female lead in the quirky, romantic comedy that appeared on the 2008 Black List. It tells the story of a couple who would like to date, but decide to be friends instead while wrestling with their attraction to one another over a long period of time.
Personally, I think all of these actresses are perfect choices for the project and would like to see their careers take off. Sadly, there can be only one. It all depends on who tests best on-camera and freaks out the least when a naked Affleck crawls into her bed in the middle of the night. I think Rebecca Hall has a leg-up on this one. (Production Weekly via The Playlist)
Hey guys, it turns out that the next Saw may not be the last of the Saws. That's insane, right? Well, then Betsy Russell is insane, I guess. Here's what the actress told the NY Post:
"Before we thought it was ending [with 'Saw 7'], the writers came up with an unbelievable idea [for 'Saw 8']," Betsy revealed to PopWrap. "It's an amazing story that I would love to see. We want to end near the top, with our integrity intact and not letting the characters die a slow death, so to speak. But I believe in my heart that someday, somehow, ['Saw 8'] will happen."
When was the last time that a long-running horror franchise intended to wrap up the story, but the boost of 3D ticket sales caused it to continue on? In the last month, I mean. See? You can't think of any.
George Lucas excludes Samuel L. Jackson from snack time on the set of Attack of the Clones.
There's trouble a-brewin' in Nerdville. It seems the long awaited live-action "Star Wars" television show is on hold indefinitely, according to Star Wars creator and destroyer George "Big Baby Jesus" Lucas. In an interview with Digital Spy, the director cited cost as the main factor.
“They literally are Star Wars, only we’re going to have to try to do them [at] a tenth the cost… And it’s a huge challenge, [a] lot bigger than what we thought it was gonna be.”
Considering the first movie, which is beloved by all, was filmed using motion control photography and a bunch of crappy models, and the first prequel, which is hated by all, had an unlimited special effects budget, maybe George is putting too much emphasis on the bells and whistles.
Just make the damn show, and for the love of Yoda, let someone else write and direct. (Screen Rant)
If you're a fan of drug use or anti-Catholic blasphemy (or both), you're in for a treat. Actor Thomas Lennon, best known as Lieutenant Jim Dangle in "Reno 911," is hard at work on the set of A Very Harold & Kumar Christmas 3D, which is currently being filmed in Detroit (aka the Hollywood on the Rust Belt). According to Lennon, the film has no shortage of drug use and, or showering nuns.
I think when people Harold and Kumar in 3D it’s going to be a full visceral experience not unlike seeing Avatar with a bunch of dudes smoking pot and some naked nuns taking a shower, which is what I believe they’re filming today. In fact I know for a fact that’s what they’re filming today because I happen to not be on-set today and it’s kind of a bummer.
Lennon was also quick to point out that the third installment of Harold and Kumar was actually being filmed in 3D, not converted afterward, a fact that I'm sure will not be lost on the thousands of stoned jackasses who will be watching the movie while waiting for their pizza to hydrate in the year 2017. (Collider)
Oh, I get it. Like "Great things come in pairs" but with a bear pedofilia spin. MARKETING FAIL. (FilmDrunk)
These links will make things right.
'Real Genius' Vs. 'Weird Science': 25th Anniversary Geek-Off (Moviefone)
Dutch Student Wants To Turn Times Square Into Art Exhibit (Asylum)
Hot Jenn Sterger Pictures (HolyTaco)
Frotcast Episode 8: The Two Buseys (FilmDrunk)
Kick Ass Lyndsy Fonseca Photos (Maxim)
The Birdman Of Greenwich Village (BarStoolSports)
Dead Men Don't Pay For Parking Tickets (EgoTV)
Worst TV Theme Songs Of All Time (Pajiba)
Scooter Rail Slide Turns Into Face Plant (TotalProSports)
Crazy Japanese Kit Kat Flavors (Smosh)
Alison Brie Says The Hottest Things (BroBible)
Laurence Fishburne Should Have Bought His Daughter That Pony (CelebJihad)
Knockout Of The Week: Justice Is Served For Glove (CagePotato)
Kaye West Promises New Music Video 'Power' Is Actually A Painting (PopEater)
Porsche With A Boeing Turbine Engine (MadeMen)
He's Sweden's Robert Pattinson.
Stellan Skarsgard is in talks to do take after take after take alongside Daniel Craig in David Fincher's adaptation of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. He would play Martin Vanger, a suspect in the 40-year-old disappearance of a teenage girl. Hey Variety, tell us what Skarsgard had to say:
"I've met (helmer David) Fincher; I want to work with him; he wants to work me. I've had a concrete offer and now we are in negotiations. The contract is for the period September to March, but I don't know yet when I am supposed to start my part of the film."
This casting makes perfect sense since Skarsgard is Swedish and the film will take place in Sweden. But what of Stellan's son Alexander, who is ripe for the picking due to his recent "True Blood" success. Not to mention Max von Sydow. The man is a God over there.
Give him a call already, Fincher. He's practically begging you.
Looks like NBC learned a lot about bad decision making during Jeff Zucker's tenure. Heck, he is the best at being bad afterall. The network is surely making their former teacher proud with the news that they've closed a deal on "Zombies vs. Vampires."
It's a buddy cop comedy that follows two partners, one a zombie and the other a secret vampire, who are members of a squad dedicated to "zombie crime." Sounds ridiculous. But on the bright side, this will deflect the unfounded, premature hatred "$#@% My Dad Says" has been receiving. (Deadline)
"Shhhh, I have a secret to tell you: Boooooobs."
We only heard about the gestating Vince Vaughn/David O. Russell project Old St. Louis the other day, and now it appears Scarlett Johansson wants to play in the sandbox. The film is about a divorced traveling toy salesman who reconnects with his teen daughter (Chloe Moretz, possibly) after years on the road. Vulture says Scarlett would play "Vaughn's paramour, a secretary who accompanies them on their cross-country sales jaunt." She transcribes memos and services her boss sexually. The latter part is assumed and based solely on my own experience with paramours. Or my friend's…
Vulture also corrects earlier reports that the script is an O. Russell original. It's been the village bicycle for around a decade now, rubbing up against both Steve Pink (High Fidelity) and Allen Loeb's (Wall Street 2) pen. David O. Russell recently completed a extensive rewrite though so maybe this script has finally found her special sugar daddy. We'll see if she ever makes it to production and performs like a good girl.
Please don't smoke that thing while Tony's enjoying his cigar, Shia.
Tony Scott is rumored to be close to directing the adaptation of John Grisham's The Associate. From his successful "lawyers running away from things" series, The Associate is set to star Shia LaBeouf with The Departed's William Monahan on scripting duties.
This isn't confirmed yet and Scott has enough on his plate with Potsdamer Platz, Hell's Angels, and that Chippendales movie, so take the news with a grain of salt. I don't see why they really need a director for this project. John Grisham movies kind of just direct themselves. Do studios really need to pay millions upon millions of dollars to have someone say, "Okay Shia. What you're giving me right now is a light jog. I need a jaunt. Get them legs up. That's good. Okay. Now go get double-crossed by Gene Hackman." (LA Times)
Gandalf don't play that. Today California, tomorrow The Shire.
Steve Austin, or the wrestler formerly known as 'Stone Cold', may not have the same screen experience as the other Expendables, but what he lacks in acting skills, he makes up in kicking ass. How bad-ass is Austin? It took two full days to film his fight scene with Sly Stallone, during which he broke Stallone's neck.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Conrad in The Condemned
Weird Fact: Adam Sandler ranks him as one of his all time favorite co-stars.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Stacey Alysson is a blonde babe with some major medical street credit to her family name. Not only is she a graduate of Nutritional Science but her father was the first veterinarian to use Prozac on animals. Probably because all the animals got depressed looking at Stacey's hot body all day long and they couldn't have her.
A word from Stacey: “Does this still count as sexual harasment if I make the first move?”
Probably, but I guarantee no one's going to file charges.
More pics of Stacey after the jump…
"Honey! Do Jacob's abs look tighter than mine?"
Thanks to Twilight and "True Blood," Hollywood is buying up anything werewolf-related. MMA werewolves, teenaged werewolves, California-based werewolves, it doesn't matter what the werewolves do, as long as they are werewolves. So, it stands to reason that Hollywood would be anxious to desecrate John Landis's classic An American Werewolf In London.
The Weinsteins have just hired The Number 23 scribe Fernley Phillips to drag his butt across the remake's script. This is the Fernley Phillips who named a character "Topsy Kretts." So, yeah. Um. Yeah. The Weinsteins reportedly want to completely depart from Landis's film and give it a more modern feel. That means less gore, more mumbly romance. Which is dumb. Just make your own movie without tarnishing the memory of a horror classic. Besides, with a name like An American Werewolf In London, audiences are going to expect a Madonna biopic. (via LA Times and Bloody Disgusting)
Space prison is much like Earth prison.
Maggie Grace and Luc Besson last worked together on Taken, which Besson produced and co-wrote and Grace starred in as Liam Neeson's stupid daughter who shares cabs with strange Frenchman just because they smile at her. Now Deadline reports that they're reteaming for Lockout, a film with one of the coolest loglines I've heard in a long time:
Guy Pearce is attached to play a man wrongly convicted of conspiracy to commit espionage against the U.S. He's offered his freedom if he can rescue the president's daughter (Grace) from an outer space prison taken over by violent inmates.
He has to save her from a space prison riot? Awesome! Prison riots in general kick-ass, as evidenced by Face/Off, but imagine what one would look like with zero-gravity, once the device in the film that sustains gravity inevitably gets shut off. If they cast Charles S. Dutton, who's familiar with space prison from Alien 3 and Earth prison from real life, this film is sure to blow up bigger than Taken. I can hear Guy Pearce saying the lines now… "I will find you. And I will kill you. In space." Good luck.
Acting is a skill that requires intense focus and an incredible amount of natural talent. Acting like white trash simply requires a lack of focus and an incredible amount of Natural Light. That said, some actors manage the role better than others and that’s what I’ll be examining today as I present the 12 greatest portrayals of white trash in film.
Nicholas Cage as H.I. McDonnough in Raising Arizona
The road to Ghostbusters 3 has been a turbulent one. We've heard rumors for awhile about a sequel that would catch up with the paranormalists in the modern day, and serve as a passing of the torch to an Apatowized cast. Luckily, one brave man has stood in the way, refusing to allow our childhoods to miscarry in unnecessary 3D. God bless you, Bill Murray.
Now Michael Cera is fighting the good fight. He tells USA Today:
"Ghostbusters is the most influential movie of my childhood," he says. "And I would not want to be the reason that Ghostbusters was all of a sudden bad."
Looks like we'll have to depend on Jesse Eisenberg for that.
"Breakthrough with Tony Robbins" has been canceled after just two episodes, Deadline is reporting. Robbins, a self-help author, success coach, and modern-day medicine man failed to awake the giant within and tap his unlimited power, forcing NBC to scrap the show.
At last report, Robbins was chugging Jack Daniels, eating Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey and watching a 12 hour block of pornography at a Motel 6 in Bakersfield, CA, while repeatedly murmuring to himself that "it's all a big nothing."
July of 2011 is a long way off; almost a year by some estimates. Unfortunately, that's how long we'll have to wait for new episodes of "Breaking Bad." But to help keep fans from resorting to meth use, the show's producers are developing a series of three-to-four minute webisodes to run on the AMC website. According to the show's star, Bryan Cranston, these websiodes will be more than just fluff.
"I for one am eager to make these little interstitials important. I don’t want them to be simply filler or recap, but something that actually moves the storyline forward. If we’re going to do it, it ought to be a real part of the larger show.”
This sounds like a welcome change from the "Battlestar Galactica" websiodes, which consisted mainly of deleted scenes and 15 minutes of Edward James Olmos letting loose on the can. (Deadline)
Here's the trailer for the new season of "The Venture Bros." since I know you guys love Adult Swim so damn much. I've been told it doesn't work for foreigners, or rather, people outside the U.S. If you're in the U.S. but are foreign it should play for you. Unless you're Croatian. Hey, don't blame me. (ToplessRobot)
Enjoy these links, stoners.
'Louie' Moment: Louie Tells His Mother He Doesn't Love Her (TVSquad)
Sly Stallone Rubs Felt Elbows With 'The Muppets Show' (Asylum)
25 Videos Of Epic Bowling Fails (HolyTaco)
'Devil' Riding M. Night Shyamalan's Name Straight To Hell (FilmDrunk)
10 Most Important Hotties In Gaming Today (Maxim)
New Nike Ad Campaign Has Some Butts To Show You (BarStoolSports)
9 Things That Shouldn't Give Us Boners But Do (EgoTV)
Fear Of The Unknown: Those Horror Movies You Never Saw As A Kid (Pajiba)
'Deus Ex: Human Revolution' Is The Best Movie Trailer This Year (Unreality)
Amazing Spider Man Catch Of The Day (TotalProSports)
12 Frighteningly Real Sculptures (Smosh)
45 Hottest TV Lawyers Of All Time (BroBible)
Proof That Beyonce Is An Alien (CelebJihad)
Get Curb-Stomped By Roger Huerta (CagePotato)
Katy Perry: When Sex & God Mix, 'Bad Things Happen' (PopEater)
World Tetris Championship (MadeMen)
Is he wearing lipstick?
Yesterday it seemed a little odd when it was announced that Oscar-winning director Davis Guggenheim would direct the upcoming 3D Justin Bieber biopic. And I guess it seemed odd to Guggenheim too, because he has just taken himself off the project according to Deadline. Guggenheim cites "scheduling conflicts" as the reason for his departure, but we all know that's just Hollywood speak for "This diminutive singing child punches people in the balls. I'm not willing to put my balls at risk to work with him."
So as of right now, the very important film is left without a director. I think what Justin needs most is someone who can really identify with him. Someone who knows his music inside and out. Someone with Doritos breath. If only such a person existed.
Little Fockers is in trouble, and Universal Studios is deperately looking for a solution. Earlier in the week, Deadline reported that execs think a week of pickups with the principal cast in September is required to bring the movie closer to a viewable state. They were even at one point considering replacing director Paul Weitz with producer-writer John Hamburg, but that tactic got "rejected after Hamburg visited the set one weekend." He obviously wasn't pleased with the BBQ chicken quesadillas craft services slaved over.
Now Universal believes the answer to their problems comes in the form of a short, Jewish, 73 year-old man named Dustin Hoffman. Vulture reports that the studio is "looking into whether Hoffman might consider a last-minute reprise of his role as Bernie Focker in an effort to funny-up the comedy." Yeah, let's shoe horn in the arrival of Ben Stiller's character's neurotic Jewish father and all will be well. If Dustin doesn't cut it, then we'll fly in Barbra Streisand. If she doesn't work out, we'll add a ton more foreskin jokes, say our prayers, and let the chips fall where they may. Somewhere, some Universal exec has a thousand-yard stare and is tracing the trigger of a revolver with his index finger.
Ah, to be young again.
Hot on the heels of the magical time-travel plot device news, comes word that Hollywood is officially out of ideas. Fox has greenlighted the body swap 29. Based on the book by Adena Halpern, 29 tells the story of a 75-year old grannie who turns 29 again for just one day. She teams up with her granddaughter for an adventure, while her daughter and best friend assume she's been kidnapped and embark on their own mission to save the wrinkled, old coot.
Okay. I'm just gonna put this out there. Nana, stop reading. Okay, no olds reading? Okay, here goes. F*ck old people. I don't need to see their adventures on-screen. I just need to know what to buy them for Christmas (otherwise they're getting gloves again). Stop wasting this genre on old person turns young stories, and give America what it really wants. A husband and wife switch bodies and while the wife/husband is trying her/his best to win the bread for the family, the husband/wife is sitting at home playing with his/her own boobs all day. It would be Hollywood's first approach at a body swap movie grounded in reality. (THR)
Every day for the next two weeks, we're going to feature a cast member from the upcoming film The Expendables. These ten bad-ass actors, who deliver a extensive amount of property damage in the film, are legends in the action movie genre. Today the spotlight is on none other than the Governator himself. Arnold Schwarzenegger only has a small cameo in The Expendables, but his brief appearance completes the circle of legends.
Highly Debatable Best Role: The Terminator in The Terminator
Weird Fact: Underwent a genioplasty — a procedure in which his jaw has been moved back so that it no longer juts out.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…