"Did I do that?"
Kissing girls is scary enough without J.J. Abrams stepping in and making it more terrifying. Abrams is teaming up with "Lost" director Jack Bender to produce 7 Minutes In Heaven, a horror film that tells the story of two teens who go into a closet together for seven minutes, and when they reemerge, they find that all of their friends are dead. Could happen.
Abrams and his Bad Robot production company are currently looking for a screenwriter to make that concept less laughable. What I wonder about, is whether the teens are actually in Heaven, and that's why their friends appear dead. Or, maybe they are in Hell? Or, maybe some lame kind of purgatory where you can be a bad boy detective or concert pianist, if you so choose. (HeatVision)
Understatement of the Century: we love watching porn! But we also like movies made by semi-professional filmmakers that operate within the non-porn Hollywood system. When these two elements come together, it can make for a pretty satisfying cinematic experience. From The 40-Year-Old Virgin to 8MM, porn has long been referenced or addressed in mainstream films, but it is particularly sweet when the filmmakers take the next step and make up a fake porn movie. Some are actually filmed and shown on screen, while others are there in dialogue only — but it’s all great. Check out a few of our favorite fake nudie flicks.
We (me) were very excited at the news that Alice Eve was in talks to play the precariously-clothed Emma Frost in Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class. You were all instructed to get down to your local wishing wells with an sh*t ton of pennies, and wish this thing into reality. So, what the hell? Today it's reported that talks have fallen through, and "Mad Men" actress January Jones will be filling the role.
Nothing against Jones, but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! We were so close to combining this:
Now we'll never know what that looks like because you guys didn't wish hard enough. Somebody owes me pennies. (Deadline)
Gary Busey plays Norman Tugwater: Fantasy Sports Lawyer. His job is to help already filthy rich athletes get their piece of the fantasy league pie. Adrian Peterson and Shaq aren't afraid to call him their attorney. I'd be afraid to call him my anything. The man's face is so asymmetrical.
Drink down these links. Drink 'em down!
Jimmy Kimmel Finds A Lawyer For Tila Tequila's 'Juggalos' Lawsuit (TVSquad)
Rare Collection Of 3D Nude Pin-Ups At Film Forum (Asylum)
The 7 Greatest Homemade Sex Toys For Men (Ranker)
This Is How You Get Chicks (HolyTaco)
Fishburne Done Talking to his Porn Star Daughter (FilmDrunk)
Undressed To Impress (Maxim)
French Babe Robbers Steal Man's Cash After Distracting Him With Tits (BarStoolSports)
Rollerblades + Stupidity (EgoTV)
10 British Television Actors That America Should Steal (Pajiba)
Gallery Of The Coolest Comic Book Tattoos (Unreality)
Amazing Basketball Shot From A Free Fall Ride (TotalProSports)
Google Earth Captures A Dead Body?!!! (Smosh)
New Eva Mendes Pics From 'Flaunt' Magazine Shoot (BroBible)
Is Megan Fox Hotter Than Brigitte Bardot? (CelebJihad)
Matt Horwich, The New Middleweight Champion Of The Multiverse (CagePotato)
Sex, Blood, And Rolling Stone's New 'True Blood' Cover (PopEater)
Swedish Man Sets Speeding Ticket Record (MadeMen)
I'll never have to Photoshop them kissing again.
I'd be lying if I didn't say that reporting on Darren Aronosky's Black Swan hasn't been a rocky road. First, we were promised girl-on-girl between Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis. Then, we were told no Natalie boobs. Then we saw some freaky pics. And now we have video of the stars kissing and touching one another's naughty bits. This marks the first time I've ever been turned on by something Kafkaesque. I guess there's a film trailer attached to that footage too. If you're into that kind of thing.
If you're still reading, the trailer is after the jump…
If you haven't already stolen the banned "Family Guy" episode in some form or another, you'll have the chance to watch it on DVD September 28th. "Partial Terms of Endearment" was aired in the U.K. but never in the U.S. because it was deemed too offensive for such a high-brow culture that puts mozzarella cheese sticks in a grilled cheese.
The episode follows what happens when Lois agrees to become a surrogate mother for an infertile couple, a decision Peter isn't happy about. Doesn't seem so controversial to me, but then again I'm writing this post while perched atop a pile of styrofoam cups. Yeah, that's right! They don't decompose! The DVD will sell for $14.98, and before you start b*tching about the price for a single episode, it also includes some special features: The Seth and Alex Almost Like Comedy Show, Family Guy: Live and Uncensored Table Read, Animatic for "Partial Terms of Endearment," Nine Original Songs Composed for "Family Guy," and a Digital Copy. Now you can go ahead and b*tch. (CinemaBlend)
The news that there is a film in the works based upon the board game Battleship is a crazy enough notion. So, why am I still surprised by the casting news? We've already reported that Rihanna had joined the cast, because there was apparantly a Rihanna-like character intrinsic to the storyline. Now it has been announced that swimsuit model and Transformers 3 hopeful Brooklyn Decker will play Taylor Kitsch's love interest in the film. I mean, movie. I mean, commercial. I mean, Peter Berg's excuse to party with Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker. (Deadline)
This feels like a formality, but some of the stars of the upcoming Piranha 3D felt it necessary to create a For Your Consideration video to drum up Oscar support. In my opinion, it's already a shoe-in, and I haven't even seen it yet because the studio won't screen it for critics, most likely because it's too amazing to show early.
Jerry "Hollywood Treasure" O'Connell, Adam Scott, Kelly Brook, and Paul Scheer are a few of the cast members asking for your vote this award season. If nothing else, the film should definitely have a lock on the Best Penis Being Gobbled Up and Spit Out in 3D category. The scene of that in Inception was just so-so.
Check out the campaign video after the jump…
Kelly Brook is one hot pot of English tea. I tried my best to give a range of pictures here from the artfully tasteful to the fake orgasm moan, but there are just too many out there, and more coming soon as she burns up the pages of this month's Playboy. There is one reason to see Piranha 3D this weekend: Kelly Brook naked in 3D.
A word from Kelly: "I’ve got boobs and a bum and if people think I’m fat, I honestly don’t care"
If you're fat, may the world be populated by big fat fatties like you.
More insanely hot pics of Kelly after the jump…
Hugh Jackman had better turn in his Man Card. Dude, just passed up the chance to play beauty parlor in Avon Man in favor of lifting a bunch of weights. OMG! What a fop!
Sure, you can say that Jackman dropped out because the shooting schedule shifted, and he needs to get his arm muscles up to par for Wolverine 2. But we all know the truth, he'd rather just play with balls and lift weights all day. Hugh Jackman is just way too manly. Pretty much everyone knows that. (Deadline)
Last week when I reported that Stellan Skarsgard would possibly join the cast of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo as Martin Vanger I questioned why Max Von Sydow wasn't on board yet. The man is practically a God in Sweden and deserves to be in Fincher's Sweden-based thriller. Now it appears Von Sydow is in talks to play retired industrialist Henrik Vanger, Martin's uncle and former CEO of Vanger Corp. So basically, I called that sh*t.
I realize all the hubbub was over who would play Lisbeth Salander, and Rooney Mara landed the role yesterday, but I've always been more concerned about Von Sydow. Sure, he's older now and his eyes bulge out of his skull a little too far, but he's sure to give Skarsgard and Daniel Craig a run for their money. I'll now start petitioning for Dolph Lundgren's involvement. He's making a comeback with The Expendables and I'm sure the film has a role for a giant, seven-language-speaking Swede. Or Mike Tyson.
Harry removes the webcam from Hermione's bedroom.
Put on your sorting caps or whatever 'cause I've got some pretty new images from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1. I'm an upstanding citizen and a scholar, which is why I decided not to post the scans from last week's Entertainment Weekly that were floating around, but these high resolution pics are going to make you glad you waited. Like having the sex. Some we've seen before (Hermione's murder hands), but there's a few we haven't. I particularly like the one where Harry is peering out of a doorway behind Ron. It's like an Ingmar Bergman film, if Ingar Bergman dabbled in snufflepuffs and floobergobs. Those are wizard things, right?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 hits theaters November 19, 2010.
Check out the pics after the jump…
Monster movies have been around since actors realized they could still get paid if they climbed into a hot, rubber suit. It didn't take long for makers of those movies to figure out that those actors in rubber suits might be able to swim. So, they threw them into Universal's big ol' backstage swimming hole and let those actors attempt to stay afloat. Clever editors made it appear that they were attacking attractive teenage women. And, thus, a genre was born, the waterborne "creature feature."
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This morning, we have a second trailer for Gareth Edwards's Monsters. We didn't post the first trailer because, y'know, too much typing. Also, there wasn't much to be shown. But this time around, we have a sliiiightly more substantial look. And don't worry it doesn't include spoilers, so you should be in good shape if you want to walk into the theater without knowing too much. I'm all for preserving the mystery and watching through fresh eyes. It's rare that you get the opportunity, and Monsters is said to be an awesome giant monster movie with focus on character. Suck on that, Starship Troopers 2: Hero Of The Federation.
Take a stroll through the infected hellhole of Mexico after the jump…
The midget ones are kinda creepy, but damn if they can't shake it.
Get funky with these links.
'Unscripted' With Jason Bateman And Jennifer Aniston (Moviefone)
NYC Is All Out Of Room For The Dead (Asylum)
The 8 Greatest "Hot Chick" Internet Hoaxes (Ranker)
25 Jet Ski Fail Videos (HolyTaco)
The 7 Best Quotes From Tom Green's Juggalo Gathering Film (FilmDrunk)
The Worst Teams In College Football (Maxim)
300 Pound Teenager Will Stab A Mom For A Cheeseburger (BarStoolSports)
6 Funny Places To Play Dead (EgoTV)
Chin Up, Fanboys! America Hates Lots Of Great Movies (Pajiba)
Good Lord Sega, Are You Serious? (Unreality)
Mike Tyson's Brutal Honesty (TotalProSports)
Dropping E And Rolling With The Dance Party (Smosh)
10 Cardinal Rules For Visiting Las Vegas (BroBible)
Tila Tequlia Stoned By Righteous Mob (CelebJihad)
Chael Sonnen Says He Was Out When Josh Rosenthal Called The Fight (CagePotato)
For Charity Right? Jenny McCarthy Parties In Sexy Lingerie (PopEater)
Couture Gas Masks For A Stylish Apocalypse (MadeMen)
We finally have a first look at I'm Still Here, the "documentary" that chronicles Joaquin Phoenix's slow transformation into Zach Galifianakis. Directed by Casey Affleck, we're given a front row seat to Phoenix's imaginary breakdown. Absolutely riveting (in an imaginary way).
The trailer has a pretty cool voice-over. Is that Edward James Olmos? I think it is. If so, somebody get that guy a job selling Ford trucks immediately.
Check it out after the jump…
Talk about an authority on the subject.
"Here we'll help you with that gunshot wound."
Here we have a trailer for FX's new comedy-drama-action series "Terriers." The latest from "The Shield" creator Shawn Ryan, and stars Ghost Rider's BFF Donal Logue and Rene from "True Blood" as two unlicensed private investigators. In other words, a couple of real busy bodies. I was surprised to find out this isn't a remake of a British show. Don't they have a "Terriers." I thought they did. They totally should, right?
Check out the trailer for Hawaii 4-0 "Terriers" after the jump…
The X-Men: First Class casting news keeps on comin' today. Rose Byrne just joined the cast as Moira MacTaggert, and now Oliver Platt is set to play a non-mutant character mysteriously named The Man in Black. Hopefully his skill isn't blending into the background. Platt isn't exactly Crispin Glover thin.
The film, which begins shooting in London next month, has an impressive group of stars attached, including James McAvoy as Xavier, Michael Fassbender as Magneto, Alice Eve as Emma Frost, Nicholas Hoult as Beast, Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique, Caleb Landry Jones as Banshee, Lucas Till as Havoc, and Edi Gathegi as Darwin. And let us not forget Kevin Bacon, who will be terrorizing them all with his fancy footwork and/or something else. (Deadline)
Previously on "True Blood," Sookie and Bill broke up. Crystal left her (possibly werewolf or shifter) meth dad and fiancé (two different people) for Jason. Sam took in his brother and kicked their mom and dad to the curb. Tara was having problems handling her recent Franklin trauma. Lafayette and Jesus got back together. The King tried to take Sookie forcibly (who was defended by Bill and Jess). Eric killed Talbot as retribution for The King killing his dad a thousand or so years ago. Sookie and Bill got back together. And now onto this week's episode…
More after the jump…
Hollywood's most prominent young actresses can quit their cat fighting. Rooney Mara has been granted the coveted role of Lisbeth Salander in David Fincher's The Girl with the Dragon tattoo adaptation. Her deal includes an option for two sequels based off the second and third book in the Millennium Trilogy, The Girl Who Played with Fire and The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest.
Mara, younger sister of hottie Kate Mara, will run and hack computers alongside Daniel Craig, who's already been cast as the investigative journalist and part owner of the magazine Millenium. Both Robin Wright and Stellan Skarsgard are also in talks for roles. Our deepest condolences go out to Ellen Page, Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Carey Mulligan, Mia Wasikowska, Emily Browning, and every other starlet who really REALLY wanted to nab the role of the decade. We hope these words help you in your time of grief: Life's unfair and stuff. (Deadline)
Lauren Jones shows that having a double major college degree in Hollywood doesn't get you by on smarts alone. A former model and ring girl for the WWE, she brings her lovely lady humps to The Expendables as Mickey Rourke's girl, Cheyenne.
A word from Lauren: “This business is not as glamorous as it looks! It's truly a lot of hard work and dedication. But it's worth it in the end.”
Because you get to ride on the back of Mickey Rourke's motorcycle. Hellz yeah.
More pics of Lauren after the jump…
The cast of Matthew Vaughn's X-Men: First Class grew a bit over the weekend. Rose Byrne has signed on to be adorable in the role of Moira MacTaggert, Professor X's hot piece of Scottish butt who later leaves him without explanation, and gives birth to a son who she needs to keep sedated due to his ability to warp reality. Mother of the year, people.
Also, joining the production is Jason Flemyng. He's a mainstay of Matthew Vaughn and Guy Ritchie films. In other words, he's British. He'll play the teleporting mutant Azazel, who is also Nightcrawler's dad. Looks like that mutant ability runs in the family. Though, blue skin does not. Looks like Mrs. Azazel's got some 'splaining to do!! (THR)
Settle in. It’s time for another installment of my fall TV show tips. This week I’m looking at the new spy/conspiracy-type shows that promise a heavy dose of gratuitous action.
“Alias” went off the air a few seasons ago and “24” is now gone. “Human Target” is back in October, but after that, most of the espionage/government agent entries are freshman series. A couple of them seem to be packing enough intrigue to keep auds hanging around, while another isn’t really blowing my skirt up.
WATCH IT: “Nikita” (CW), Thursdays at 9 pm (ET)
Sylvester Stallone choked out Julia Roberts over the weekend, and his movie also beat hers at the box office. Stallone's salute to gritty 80's action, The Expendables, easily took the top spot with $35 million. Audiences weren't as eager to see Julia Roberts get fat and f*ck. Eat, Pray, Love took the second spot with just under $24 million. Looks like the call to action worked, fellas.
Then there was Scott Pilgrim… well, Scott Pilgrim just kinda showed up, slumped its shoulders while gazing at its shoes before mumbling something about the new Arcade Fire album. Despite great reviews, producers just couldn't get fans of coin-op references and lesbian haircuts into the theater to see this one. But in all fairness, it was really sunny out in McCarren Park on Saturday. (Reuters)
Not exaaaactly film-related, but this new video from Yeasayer deserves a watch. Besides it stars a sexy Kristen Bell and she's in movies. AND, she plays an actress and that's film-related. Maybe it was even shot on film. Whatever, I don't need to justify this.
In the video for "Madder Red," Bell plays a struggling, young actress coping with the impending death of a beloved pet. Not exactly sure what the pet is though. But it's a great video, and serves as a much-needed reminder not to take the lumpy, puss-dribbling fleshballs in our lives for granted. I've really gotta call home more often.
Watch the video here.
Him and Gary Oldman should have a face-off. (WildAmmo)
Congratulations, kids! We did it! Toy Story 3, one the best animated, and live-action, movies of these past few years has become the highest grossing animated film of all time. The film has brought in more than $920 million worldwide, surpassing Dreamworks Animation's Shrek 2 ($919.8 million worldwide) for the title. All I can say is, daaaaaaaamn, that's a lot of cheddar in Woody and Buzz's pocket.
/Film points out that the price of 3D tickets must also be considered when comparing these box office numbers. Shrek 2 didn't have the benefit of charging theater patrons $20 a pop to see more stuff jump out at them. A film like The Lion King made $783.8 million worldwide in 1994, a number which would be adjusted to $1.54 billion today. Daaaaaamn, that's a lot of cheddar in Mufasa's pocket. Oh wait, he died in the film. RETROACTIVE SPOILER ALERT!
Get outta there, kid!
Here are your weekend links.
26 Fake Video Games In Movies And TV (FileFront)
Most Cursed Movies: 7 Films Plagued With Crazy Curse Stories (Moviefone)
Times Square 'Tin Man' Stabs Tour Guide (Asylum)
20 Landmark COmic Book Video Games (Ranker)
25 Hot Pictures Of Amanda Righetti (HolyTaco)
Evil Child Movie Critic (FilmDrunk)
Women Of Ink: Hottest Chicks With Tattoos (Maxim)
Choking Game For Kids? No Thanks. I'm Just Play Baseball (BarStoolSports)
5 Other Badass Dream Teams In Honor Of 'The Expendables'(EgoTV)
So Painfully Overrated: Julia Roberts Career Assessment (Pajiba)
Winnie Cooper Is Making Math Hot? (Unreality)
This Rollerblader Never Stood A Chance (TotalProSports)
Sxottie Pippen 1991 Sandwich Commercial for Mr. Submarine (BroBible)
'Glee' Satr Le Michele Loves Her Disgusting 'Jewish Nose'(CelebJihad)
BC Medical Body Calling For A National Ban Of MMA in Canada (CagePotato)
'Man Vs. Wild' Challenges Zac Efron (PopEater)
'Expendables' Terry Crews Offers Mandvice (MadeMen)
Countdown To 'The Expendables' Day 5 'First Blood' (MovieHopping)
Jeffrey Dean Morgan IS The Courier. Whatever that means. I'm not used to movie casting news that doesn't involve seven rounds of Disney teens vying to play a superhero. It looks like Morgan is going to play a bagman that needs to deliver a briefcase to a hard-to-find crimeboss, while dodging crooked cops, gangsters, and federal agents. Why isn't Jason Statham in this? It's his whole thing — running around like a maniac and jumping his cars over drawbridges. Does this not involve driving a car? I guess Jeffrey Dean Morgan is the new on-foot Jason Statham. Tough break, Timothy Olyphant. (Deadline)