I have nothing to say about this image other than a) Thank you,SickPigs.com for bringing this masterpiece to my attention and b) if you are the person responsible for this masterpiece and you like "Dexter," then I have a Dexter Bobblehead courtesy of Showtime Networks for you. Just email us with evidence at firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll reward you. Today's Top Links: Christina Marie Red Carpet Moments Nick Cage Hires Witch Doctor NBA Finals Girlfriends Microsoft's New Gaming Best Performances of 2000s Why Does TV Suck? Star Wars/80s TV Mashups Brock Lesnar Smashes Odor Actresses Get Ripped Women Make Men Dumb Warrant Over One-Piece Etiquette Issues 5 Types of Dog Owners Cooking With Beer Fight Turns into Strip Clash Of The Titans Pic Modern Day Jesus Pwned in an Elevator Congressman Protests NBA
“Oh my God…” That was what the woman sitting behind me in the theater kept muttering as we watched The Hangover together. I have to admit, I had a similar reaction to this clever and raunchy comedy, albeit a silent one. I can understand why Zach Galifianakis’s ass might elicit such a response, verbal or internal. In a world of reimaginings and adaptations, it was refreshing to experience an original piece of material taking full advantage of its potential. The concept is so simple it’s a wonder no one’s thought of it before, but hallelujah for the people out there like Todd Phillips who get creative when delivering big laughs.
If you're reading this during Land of the Lost's opening weekend and happened to have come here from our homepage, you may have noticed the GIANT LAND OF THE LOST AD enveloping it. So, for those of you who think our advertisers dictate our reviews, you probably shouldn't read on. (And those of you who thought our "Best/Worst Movie Time Machines" piece was a thinly-veiled ad for Land of the Lost, you should just stop reading the site entirely.) Because I genuinely liked Land of the Lost.
Today, Summit released two new clips and six new stills from the upcoming Kathryn Bigelow-directed war movie, The Hurt Locker, opening June 26th. The first clip, entitled "Die Comfortably," features loose-cannon Staff Sgt. William James (the badass Jeremy Renner) resigning himself to the fact that if the bomb he's diffusing goes off, his armor isn't doing squat to save his life. The other clip, which you can watch after the jump, is called "Cell Phone, Two O'clock," and gives a tiny clip of the film's tension quotient, as St. Matt Thompson (Guy Pearce) – bedecked in full blast suit and all – is compromised by an insurgent with a cell phone-cum-detonator. And the guy's got Thompson's number… on speed dial… Check out the clip after the jump. We'll have a review for anxiety-inducing The Hurt Locker coming soon, but suffice it to say my sphincter was clenched the entire movie so as to avoid dropping a deuce in the pristine Wilshire Screening Room. And I want to be invited back there.
EDITOR'S NOTE: After posting what we thought was a funny riff on Mike Tyson – essentially a fake "on set journal" kept by the famed fighter during his work on The Hangover – some of our readers made it known that in late May, Tyson suffered the tragic loss of his 4-year-old daughter, Exodus. We agree with these readers that right now is not the time to be placing a humorous spotlight on Tyson, and have removed the original post. Screen Junkies offers our sincere condolences to Tyson and his family.
IT MIGHT GET LOUD TRAILER – Watch more Funny Videos In directing An Inconvenient Truth, filmmaker Davis Guggenheim basically managed to make a guy in a suit giving a Powerpoint presentation engaging. So it stands to reason that his upcoming film, It Might Get Loud, which gives an intimate look into the lives of guitar gods new, old and middle aged – Jack White, Jimmy Page and U2's The Edge, respectively – will be the documentary equivalent of a 90-minute H.J. An H.J. with a most bitchin' soundtrack. An H.J. with at least three solos involved. But not a solo H.J. That's just masturbation. Read more on the project and check out some production photos of the legendary guitar heroes after the jump. Try not to throw your panties at the computer.
THE Final Destination Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers The new trailer for The Final Destination – a title that either means it's THE definitive chapter in the series, or the filmmakers are huge Ohio State fans – premiered today, and we have it (above). I've been a fan of the Final Destination films. They're good, schlocky fun and don't pretend to be anything else. This one's in 3-D, no less, and I can't think of a more perfect type of film to make egregious use of the ever-improving 3-D technologies, until they figure out holographic porn. That's when James Cameron quits. Today's Top Links: Mandy Ashford! Best Stoner Food! Kate Winslet's B****r! LOL Sexy Mannequins! Super Mario Galaxy 2! Sh*tty Crossover Flicks! Evil CG Pigeons! Colbert Talks Sue-age! Best Superpowers! Awkward Family Photos! Over-Caffeinated Food! New Metal Gear Solid!
Director: Davis GuggenheimCast: Jack White, Jimmy Page, The EdgeSynopsis: Tells the personal stories, in their own words, of three generations of electric guitar virtuosos – The Edge (U2), Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), and Jack White (The White Stripes). It reveals how each developed his unique sound and style of playing favorite instruments, guitars both found and invented.Release Date: In Select Theaters, August 14th, 2009
DIRECTOR: David R. EllisCAST: Krysta Allen, Mykelti Williamson, Shantel VanSanten, Stephanie Honore, Rebecca Newman
Last week, Anna Friel made Screen Junkies' list of 12 Actresses You Should Know, and after Land of the Lost hits this weekend, you should know her very well. We had a chance to sit down with Anna at Universal's Land of the Lost press day in Hollywood, and record what she had to say. Here's some of that chat. We had some fun with the real audio to help give it a little more context. Yes that's right… context! Enjoy. Anna Friel Talks LAND OF THE LOST – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSCheck out photos of Anna After the jump!
On Friday, Land of the Lost hits theaters. Somehow, Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, and Anna Friel are hurled back in time. We here at Screen Junkies decided to take a closer look into movie’s most iconic time-traveling devices. Truly, any time machine is pretty cool, but given a huge selection of methods, we’ve pinpointed our favorites.(Click image to Cretacious Era-size it) What is your preferred time traveling device? Give your position a voice, so that we can help push the inventors into the right machine for adventures into the time-space continuum. If you don’t travel in time in style, boy, you aren’t travelin’.Oh and for those of you pissed we didn't include TARDIS… maybe because it's TOO SOON, MAN!
Ridiculous Dead Snow Promo – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSOur friend Dustin Rowles over at Pajiba stooped below his normal level of journalistic excellence in order to bring everyone's attention to this ridiculous promo for Dead Snow, the Norwegian Nazi Zombie horror flick we posted the trailer for a few days back. If anyone can spot just how this video pertains to the film, you win a Screen Junkies tee-shirt. You know how confident I am that you won't find a direct correlation? Because we don't even have Screen Junkies tee-shirts right now. (If you'll settle for a Holy Taco one, that's a different story.) Today's Top Links: Josh Brolin Is Cowboy Two-Face (FilmDrunk) The 10 Greatest Conan O' Brien Characters (Manofest) Hot Tiffany Joy Gallery (GorillaMask) 5 Kinds of People Who Dont Pick Up Their Dogs Shit (RegretfulMorning) Cartoon Chicks Brawling (TheBachelorGuy) Rick Santorum Dating Advice (Asylum) Recent Grads Twitter Page (Holytaco) THe Amazing Click-A-Chick (BustedCoverage) Sexy Lana Cox (Uncoached) Left 4 Dead Trailer (Unreality) The Electric Cherry (Walyou) Turkish Talk Show Brawl (NothingToxic) Sweet Tetris Orgy (Atomfilms) The Pour Elle Remake (Filmofilia)
Splash News posted this new photo of Tracy Morgan in Kevin Smith's buddy cop comedy A Couple of Dicks. No reports as to the full context of the scene, but it does appear that Mr. Morgan is dressed as a cell phone, and taking flight atop a bicycle. As this is a cop film, my guess is that he's disguised himself as the phone – a disguise that was compromised – and then he commandeered the bicycle as the foam phone suit proved too cumbersome for fleeing on foot. Then again, this could just be a Kevin Smith's metaphorical homage to our exponentially shifting communications technologies. I mean, the guy did direct Mallrats, after all. See the photo in its entirety – including just what Tracy is riding his bike away from – after the jump. [via ComingSoon]
Director: Kevin SmithCast: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott, Adam Brody, Ana De La RegueraSynopsis: A comedy about two cops whose adventures include locating a stolen baseball card, rescuing a woman, and dealing with gangsters and their laundered money.
We don't post a lot of game trailers on Screen Junkies, but this one for Bio Ware's new Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO game is too pants-crapping good to pass up. Marvel as some Sith badasses julienne some Jedi. All you foodies/assassins out there know what I mean! We'd like to thank one of our faithful readers, the man known as "Library," who brought this to our attention, while also making noting that the game's featured R2 unit "looks so retro, it's almost steampunk." Mr. Library, you are a junkie, and a scholar. Thank you for finding time in between your daily hentai viewings to submit content.
Pauly Shore is America's Great Divider. Even his blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance in a popular 42-second online film is enough to make people hate the whole thing and remind themselves and the rest of the Internet how much they hate him. LAST DAY DREAM – Watch more Funny Videos In an unprecedented move, Screen Junkies has completed the first ever survey of Pauly Shore cinematic scholars, as well as a few undergrads majoring in "Pauly Shore Studies," which some of schools in the UC system have made available as a path of metriculation. The results of our unprecedented survey demonstrate that there are basically only three Pauly Shore jokes, repeated in film after film. These are those jokes.
This evening, The Hollywood Reporter posted that Kurt Wimmer, writer of Street Kings, Equilibrium, Ultraviolet and the upcoming Salt , has been hired by Neal H. Moritz and Original Films to complete a draft of a Total Recall remake. They're calling it a "contemporized adaptation."All I'm saying is that I hope they don't go the CG-route with the three-boobed lady. At Screen Junkies, we prefer our mutated female breasts to be all-natural latex prosthetics.
This afternoon, Screen Junkies received an email from the man known as "Impeto," asking us if we might help spread his musical gospel to the online film community. We were skeptical at first. Impeto's broken English did not do him any favors in dispelling the thought that his email was part of an elaborate scam to drain the entirety of Screen Junkies' sizeable bank account. But Impeto's passion transcended the need for syntax (or coherence, for that matter). We watched the clip above and… well… we sh*t our pants a bit. We're calling it today, June 2nd, 2009: Impeto is the next great film composer. He may also have usurped Keyboard Cat's throne. If you can fight through the Impeto-induced tears, check out today's Top Links: MacGruber movie explodes into pre-production. (Film Drunk) Melissa Maria Gonzalez is Topless (Gorilla Mask) Review of Killshot with Joe Gordon Levitt (Pajiba) New 'Man in the Box' Episode! New 'Man in the Box' Episode! (YouTube) Are "Yoga Toes" heralding a new age of Porn? (Asylum) Cool Live Blog from E3 (UnrealityMag) Reservoir Dogs and Muppets = Hilarious (Sick Pigs) Alicia Silverstone's Daily Planner… Then and Now (Regretful Morning) Will Ferrell on "Man Vs. Wild" (The Bachelor Guy) Classic Works of Art… Updated (Holy Taco) Hooters Waitress Car Wash Returns (Busted Coverage) Norm McDonald: A Tribute to the Man That is Awesome. Period. (Uncoached)
Check out G4's near-fifteen minute clip of Avatar auteur James Cameron talking all about the film, the accompanying video game, and how at this point, he's sort of figured out that "Impossible is Nothing." Of course, ADIDAS has been reminding us of that for years now, but it's a little harder to believe a shoe. I'm really starting to believe that James Cameron is the solution to all the world's problems. You just have to tell him he can't do it. Then he'll figure out a way to do it, but also make it 3-D. I anticipate a 3-D vaccine for AIDs (in THX sound) no later than 2050. In the meantime, bring on Avatar.
LAND OF THE LOST CLIP – CHAKA GIVES DR. MARSHALL FOOD – Watch more Funny VideosAbove is a Break Media/Screenjunkies.com exclusive clip from Land of the Lost. Press play to see Dr. Rick Marshal (Will Ferrell) partake in his first sample of local cuisine, which the hirsute Chaka (Jorma Taccone) is more than happy to introduce him to. I had a chance to check out the entire film last week, and I have to say that the TV promos, trailers and clips that have come out thus far aren't a fair indicator of the finished film's tone. It's waaaay more "adult" than I imagined. I'm not kidding when I say that the movie features bare female breasts and an F-bomb in the dialogue (though not in the way that you might expect).In short, the flick pushes its PG-13 rating to the limit.Follow Screen Junkies on TWITTEROther Junk You Might Like:Lost vs. Muppet Babies is like Wizard of Oz vs. Dark Side of the Moon.Melissa Maria Gonzalez
Variety reports that Universal and Illumination Entertainment have acquired the screen rights to Martin Handford's best-selling Where's Waldo? books, and they have a plan to turn the series into a live-action family film already in the works. No word on what the plot may be, but something tells me they're not going to do a direct conceptual lift of the books. I can see that pitch meeting. "Hey, remember Russian Ark?" *Universal meeting room trap door opens, swallowing misguided writer* The last time we saw Waldo come alive was in the 1991 TV series, in which Waldo and his dog Woof traveled the world – and through time – solving mysteries at the behest of Wizard Whitebeard.So Waldo gets a deal with a Hollywood studio after after disappearing for a good decade… Interesting… Deals like this don't just "happen," right? Where exactly has Waldo been? I've got a pretty f**king good idea.
Director: TBDCast: TBDSynopsis: A live-action adaptation of Martin Handford's best-selling illustrated books. [Project is in developmentt at Universal Pictures.]
Last night, the MTV Movie Awards ran a brand new clip from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, in which Sam (Shia Labeouf) and Sam's so-unattainably-hot-you-have-to-slap-yourself-in-the-face-while-making-cartoon-gurgling-sounds girlfriend (Megan Fox) hide out in an abandoned home from a bunch of Decepticons. It's Michael Bay's homage to the Diary of Ann Frank. Watch the clip after the jump.
Over the course of movie history, there have been countless examples of animals who can, for some reason or other, talk, and for the most part studio executives believe that if you’re an animal, you must speak in “clever” clichéd dialog that makes the audience want to commit animal cruelty. The number of punch-in-the-face worthy talking animals is frightening, without even getting into the cartoon and CGI realm, so let’s not even go there. But fortunately for our sanity (and this list), some diamonds in the ruff (see what I did there?) do exist. Whether it’s thanks to the performance, or the animation, or the story, occasionally one talking animal shines brightly through. The really bad ones stick out in our mind, too, and so in honor of this fact, Screen Junkies presents…“The Ten Best and Worst Wisecracking Movie Animals.” THE WORST: 5. Buzz and Scuzz, from Racing Stripes (2005)
Flash back to 1993. Jurassic Park was changing the face of filmmaking, Bill Clinton was barely into his tenure as leader of the free world, and "Reduce, Reuse & Recycle" was a brand new catch phrase being beaten into our wasteful minds. But at the time, "going green" had a much different meaning. Yes, anywhere you set foot, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were there. The movies… the merchandise… You don't even have to leave your home to see green.
Via IGN comes the newest Red Band trailer for the Todd Phillips-directed The Hangover, starring Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms and Zach Galifianakis. I'm hoping this movie blows up Galifianakis's career in the way that Bubble Boy and Out Cold could not. I'm talking leading man big. I'm talking the next, infinitely more hirsute George Clooney. Everyone's saying this Sam Worthington fellow is a man's man. But I'd pay to see a Skynet-manufactured android Galifianakis (the Z-800?) battling a CG Arnold any day. You don't have to pay squat to visit these quality links. Have a great weekend, fellow Junkies! Best Celeb Wipeouts Meet Mindi Smith Andy Milonakis = Weird Best Horror Comedies Calipari Still Got 'Splainin' 14-y.o. Guitar Hero Champ Real Lady Assassins Tintin Has a Release Date Chicks Wrestling Sick B-Baller Obama'nator Single Punch Knockout Sexual Position Quiz What's the right Prosthetic? Guy Can't Help But Puke
MTV just posted this new clip from Mummy & Van Helsing director Stephen Sommers's G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, opening in the summer wasteland known as August. In the clip, Duke (Fighting's Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Dance Flick's Marlon Wayans) don their Master Chief rip-off suits to give chase to The Baroness (Mysteries of Pittsburgh's Siena Miller) on the rooftops of Paris. We also get a look at Storm Shadow, trading his tradmark white balaclava for an alabaster Sonny Crocket sportcoat. All that was missing was a Jan Hammer keytar riff to herald his entrance. Must… resist… urge… to… embed… Jan… Hammer… GAAAAAH! Too late. Kneel before the Great Synthesizer!