(I wonder if she wears that helmet while directing.)Drew Barrymore's directorial debut underwhelmed at the box office this weekend despite critical praise. The people who did head out to the theater only have positive things to say so this may be a movie that finds its audience through strong word of mouth.At any rate, in honor of the roller derby flick's face plant we thought this was the perfect opportunity to present to you these epic skate fails.
Shutter Island Trailer #2 (HD) – Watch more Funny Videos Here we have a new trailer for Martin Scorsese's latest, Shutter Island. The film stars Leonardo DiCaprio in a role normally played by Stephen Dorff as an investigator searching for a missing patient within the walls of a haunted mental institution. The movie was originally slated for an October release but has been pushed back to February 2010, a move that shows little studio confidence. A release date within the first few months of the year normally signifies that the movie is a turd. Think about it. Do movies starring Donald Faison or Jamie Kennedy ever get released after April? Here are some morning links to screw your sense of calm… Saw VI trailer up in this mug (Dread Central) Tron 2 was a hard movie to make (io9) Arrested Development script allegedly in development (Cinema Blend) A newer, better Blair Witch sequel is on the way (IMDB) Liam Neeson makes a silly looking Zeus (First Showing) Get a load of this Asshole (/Film)
As luck would have it, young Lloyd Dobler decided to get romantic on the day the park got rid of its port-o-potties.In your eyes… the light… the links: News You Won't Believe Is Real (HolyTaco)Hot Chicks With Plungers (TheChive)High School Footballer Lands A Crushing Hit (TotalProSports)Five Minutes of 2012 Footage Is Nuts (FilmDrunk)25 Coolest Phones From Around The World (SuperTremendous)The Best Villains In Film History (Pajiba)Andy Garcia Shows You How To Properly Manscape (CelebJihad)15 Incredibly Hot Real Life Video Game Babes (Unreality)University Warns Of Zombie Attacks (Asylum)LeGarrette Blount Bullsh*t Meter (BustedCoverage)If Boba Fett Kept A Journal (RegretfulMorning)Do's And Don'ts Of Couples' Costumes (MadeMan)Are NASCAR Drivers Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? (AllLeftTurns)Couple Busted Having Sex In Tatoo Parlor (NothingToxic)The Pranksters Of Secret Girlfriend (Atom)
STOP THE PRESSES! WE HAVE A WINNER!Whoever commented, "Five Dolla! Five Dolla Footloooooooong!" on September 24th @ 2:37 PDT, you won the Capitalism: A Love Story Caption Contest. Hit us up @ feedback_at_screenjunkies.com with your mailing address, or tweet us your info and we'll get you the prize pack. If you lie about it… you will be found out!Capitalism: A Love Story, the new film from Michael Moore, opens nationwide today, October 2nd.
I'm tasked with reviewing this movie but am utterly loath to give away any of the events of the movie itself. I'll keep it very, very basic (and I encourage you to skip any trailers, commercials, or in-depth descriptions): A couple has been experiencing strange events in their house so the boyfriend (Micah) buys a video camera to catch it on film so they can maybe figure out what's happening. That's about all you need to know about the plot. The movie is filmed entirely with Micah's camera and it alternates between daytime shots, where the couple discuss what's happening, and a static nighttime bedroom shot, where Micah sets the camera on a tripod so they can see what happens while they sleep. Aside from allowing some breathing room between scares, the alternating day-and-night mechanic is extremely efficient at creating a basic psychological response for the viewer–as soon as you see that static night shot, you tense up, grab the arm rest, your eyes start to water, and you get goose bumps like no one's business–and nothing's even happened yet.
http://celebrifi.com/gossip/Ellen-Page-And-Drew-Barrymore-Are-The-Hot-New-Lesbian-Couple-398901.html Today's Marquee Links: The ChiveWalyouTotalProGorillaMaximBachelorGuy
Michael Bay announced via MichaelBay.com yesterday that Transformers 3 is a go. They've settled on a story and met with both ILM and Hasbro to discuss the details. Shia Labeouf and Megan Fox haven't announced their involvements yet but are expected to be on-board. In his announcement, Bay wrote directly to Fox: P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you. Minor chest hair growth? I wonder why that hasn't effected Shia. These morning links will not cause intense nausea… Let Me In has its cast (Dread Central)Don Cheadle discusses War Machine (/Film)The Ramones biopic is gabba-gabba-happening (First Showing)Mo'Nique throws her weight around (The Playlist)James Franco joins the cast of General Hospital (Cinema Blend)Letterman dips his quill in the company ink (Reuters)
Attacked By Crazies – Watch more Movie TrailersBreck Eisner's directorial track record is a little suspect. His 2005 feature debut, Sahara, made us McConaug-hate. And 'round these parts, we're not prone to negativity about Mr. J.K. Livin'. Needless to say, we were a little circumspect about this new project, The Crazies, a remake of George Romero's 1973 flick of the same name. But color us impressed by what we've seen so far. And it looks like Eisner is attached to helm both Creature from the Black Lagoon and Flash Gordon remakes in the next few years. So he must be doing something right. Judge for yourself in the trailer above. But after viewing don't look back. Just click on these links: If Celebrities Were The Animals They Look Like (HolyTaco) Predictions For The 2009-10 NHL Season (TotalProSports) The Products Of Real Life Mad Man (TheChive) Hugh Jackman Trains Robot Boxer (FilmDrunk) 9 Most Annoying Commercial Jingles Of All Time (SuperTremendous) 25 Worst Movies Of The Decade (Pajiba) Leaked Naked Pictures Of Rihanna Real (CelebJihad) The World's Only Bill Paxton Pinball Machine (Unreality) Learn The Ways Of A Scotch Whisky Master (Asylum) Win Two Tickets To Brett Favre Mania (BustedCoverage) 25 Sexy Plumber's Cracks (RegretfulMorning) The Art Of The One Minute Shower (MadeMan) Get It Together, ESPN (AllLeftTurns)
Cast: Timothy Olyphant, Radha MitchellDirector: Breck EisnerSynopsis: A husband and wife in a small Midwestern town find themselves battling for survival as their friends and family descend into madness in The Crazies. A mysterious toxin in the water supply turns everyone exposed to it into mindless killers and the authorities leave the uninfected to their certain doom in this terrifying reinvention of the George Romero horror classic.
Thanks to some early positive reviews and serendipitous schedule openings, Zombieland has been pushed up to an early release: this Friday, October 2nd. We couldn't be more excited for Zombies to deservedly reclaim the spotlight from those f**king vampires for at least a little while. Don't get us wrong. Zombies have never really left. Books like Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Max Brooks's Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z… movies like Shawn of the Dead… even Twitter accounts like shitmyzombiesez have all been carrying the torch. In preparation of a Zombie attack this weekend, we've decided to provide you with some handy graphs, charts and diagrams to aid you. Feel free to work them into your company meetings.
A young woman strikes gold in the Hollywood Hills.
Back in high school, Lauren Conrad was featured on the MTV reality show Laguna Beach, a docudrama that followed the lives of Southern California teens. After graduation, she moved to Los Angeles and starred in the reality spin-off The Hills. She's since left the show but along the way a ghost-writer tapped Conrad to create a fictionalized biography about her televised life. That book, the New York Times bestseller LA Candy, joins the esteemed ranks of Viewfinder, Asteroids, and Battleship in getting it's own movie adaptation. That's correct. A movie based on a book based on a television show based on another television show based on nothing. Hollywood, please be careful when sucking your own d*ck. You could break your neck. (Cinematical) Grab a napkin and check out these morning links… Lies from the prosecution may flatten Polanski's case (/Film)Roger Avary jailed. Will this slow down Return to Castle Wolfenstein? (AP)Seth Rogen's Green Hornet costume has a slimming effect (First Showing)Buzz Lightyear: Origins (Cinema Blend)Red Dawn set pics (Latino Review)Stallone over-explains Death Wish (Empire)
Japanese Night Vision Goggle Soccer – Watch more Funny Videos This is some Japanese blooper show from what looks to be the late 80's judging by the Cosby sweaters. And I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that famed filmmaker "Beat" Takeshi Kitano is the co-host of this program. It's as if Dave Coulier left "America's Funniest People" only to then direct and star in a bloody, violent Yakuza film. Though, truth be told, if they remade Battle Royale in English and I had to pick someone to play the teacher, I'd go with Coulier. Just to see him kill a schoolkid with a throwing knife would make up for the shame he was put through entertaining America's youth as as Uncle Joey. Here are Today's Top Links. No Popeye, Bullwinkle or Jackelope Voice Needed: If Tom Brady Had Another Comic (HolyTaco) High School Football Team Pulls A Buffalo Bills (TotalProSports) 20 Restaurants To Avoid At All Costs (TheChive) Olivia Munn Spoofs Twilight (FilmDrunk) The Human Jumbotron Is Insane (SuperTremendous) 5 Best Movies About Non-Traditional Sports (Pajiba) Timberlake Wants To Hit Rihanna (CelebJihad) Celebs Get Together To Examine Their Breasts (Unreality) 6 Reasons Men Have Sex (Asylum) 2009 Make 'Em Piss Blood Challenge (BustedCoverage) 7 Blasphemous Cartoons (RegretfulMorning) Be Your Own Action Figure (MadeMan) Hockey Player Wants To Try NASCAR (AllLeftTurns) Nightclub Suck Punch Attack (NothingToxic) Grand Theft Auto Precinct (Atom)
This morning, three new user-generated videos from the set of Dark Knight director Christopher Nolan's new movie, Inception, popped up online and we have them for you. They're all from the film's downtown Los Angeles shoot. It's hard to figure out exactly what's going on. The first clip is definitely the most interesting. Not since Amtrak sponsored Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade have I seen a train running along asphalt-paved city streets. But that was a long time ago… Guess this little transportation anomaly is all part of Inception's hook that it takes place "in the architecture of the mind." I wonder who the best coffee in this guy's head…
Pictures of Mel Gibson on the set of his new movie The Beaver have arrived online. The film, directed by Gibson's Maverick co-star Jodie Foster, tells the story of a depressed man who communicates via a beaver puppet much like Dave Coulier is probably doing these days. (Pajiba) Slide your frigid hand up the warm backside of these morning links… Second trailer for Fantastic Mr. Fox (Latino Review)Entertainment Tonight clip spotlights Mickey Rourke as Whiplash (Superhero Hype)(500) Days' Marc Webb to direct Just Another Love Story (First Showing)Randy Quaid is having girl problems and I feel bad for him, son (Daily Beast)Jessica Alba set to home wreck in Little Fockers (Empire)Terminator for sale (/Film)
You have to be quite fond of a celebrity to get their image and likeness burned into your flesh, or you just have to be really drunk. Either way, the result is permanent and at least semi-disturbing. Enjoy the pictorial ramifications of someone's poorer judgement…
In May of 2009 Screen Junkies received an unsolicited review of Hannah Montana: The Movie from famed director and noted statutory rapist Roman Polanski. Due to current events we have decided to run the review in its entirety. Hannah Montana: The Movie is like an erotic daydream dealing with lust, taboo, and human nature. On the surface the film is a simple morality tale, but its depths surpass understanding. Over the past month I have watched the film more than 30 times, and I have analyzed it shot by shot. But the more clearly I see its physical manifestation, the more I am stirred by its erotic mystery. The film opens with our middle-aged hero, Robby Ray Stewart (Billy Ray Cyrus), sitting in a changing room, staring longingly at a blonde female wig. Like Citizen Kane’s “Rosebud,” or the green light at the end of Gatsby’s pier, the object represents the protagonist’s deepest wants and desires. But what exactly is it that our hero desires?
The latest image from Sylvester Stallone's sausage party, The Expendables, shows that even at the age of 63, the Hollywood legend can still kill a militia without breaking a sweat below his nipples. Impressive. In an article over at Empire, Stallone talks a bit about the over-the-top actioner. "It's also a story that isn't super-gigantic; it's almost a believable story." It's almost believable. Which is to say, it is believable up to the point where we see a man of retirement age clinging to the side of an aircraft. Wait. What if The Expendables is actually a live-action version of Up? These morning links will give you damp nipples for sure…. If what they say is true, Rodriguez's Predators will be epic (Latino Review)Karen O.'s Where The Wild Things Are soundtrack is streaming online (Cinema Blend)Columbia picks up supernatural jailbreak film, Supermax (First Showing)Leo gives The Deep Blue Goodbye (/Film)Joe Dante dives into 3D horror (Reuters)
Book of Eli Trailer #2 – Watch more Funny Videos"This little town… it's just the beginning. All we need is that book!" says Gary Oldman, as the villainous Carnegie, in the trailer above. It's a line that tells you everything you need to know about The Book of Eli. It's also a quote overheard at every single publishing company meeting after S**t My Dad Says Twitter account surpassed 300,000 followers.This little town… it's just the beginning. All you need… are these links!The 7 Deadly Sins Of Sharing A Bathroom (HolyTaco) When Hunting And Fishing Collide (TotalProSports) Guns Put To Good Use (TheChive) 7 Funniest Moments In People's Court History (SuperTremendous) The Tim Burton Fashion Show (FilmDrunk) Ten Terrifying Movie Creatures From Your Childhood (Pajiba) Polankski Requests Miley Cyrus Posters For His Cell (CelebJihad) Five Pretty Funny West Side Story Spoofs (Unreality) Ben Schwartz Has Priority Management Issues (Asylum) Miss. Fans Caught Red Handed With Cow Bells (BustedCoverage) If Digg Categories Were Honest (RegretfulMorning) Perfectly-Timed Costumes For 2009 (MadeMan) Why Your Driver Will Lose: The Hendrick Boys (AllLeftTurns) Teenager Beaten To Death In Melee (NothingToxic) Examing Chick Drinks (Atom)
Do you love Jim Carrey? Do you love seeing Jim Carrey falling? Then you're in luck, because in this trailer for Robert Zemeckis's A Christmas Carol, Jim Carrey falls A LOT. But you know what the best part is? That Robert Zemeckis respected Charles Dickens's source material and kept in the scene where a miniature Scrooge surfs on an icicle.
Director: Robert ZemeckisCast: Jim CarreySynopsis: The animated re-envisioning of Charles Dickens' classic story.
There's always been a special place in my heart for the A Nightmare On Elm Street series, even the crappy ones to some degree. I was extremely jealous when the teaser launched all those months ago at Comic Con and I did not get to attend. Since then I have been wishing for the day that it would arrive online. That day is finally here. Below, check out the trailer for Samuel Bayer's remake of Wes Craven's classic. It looks like a solid update and based upon descriptions from a friend closer to the production, we're all in for a treat. The only way this could be improved is with a Chris Hansen cameo.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET TEASER TRAILER – Watch more Funny Videos
Freddy Krueger stalks the dreams of the Elm Street teens all over again.Release date: April 30th, 2010
Have a dog? Like Star Wars? You may want to consider humiliating them with either a Yoda, Leia, Ewok or Darth Vader costume. For example…
"I suppose I'd give birth too if I were a pregnant doe confronted by a T-Rex."- Jurassic Park cinematographer Dean CundeyHere now, are your weekend links:Flowchart To Determine If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating (HolyTaco)G20 Will Not Stop Penguins Fans From Celebrating (TotalProSports)Yer Wearing Your Clothes Wrong (TheChive)25 Amazing Plant Sculptures (SuperTremendous)Neve Campbell Is Alive, In Scream 4 (FilmDrunk)The Best Films Made For Under 60k (Pajiba)Eliza Dushku Gets Complex In Her Undies (CelebJihad)Megan Fox Is Not Arousing The Box Office (Unreality)10 Sexy Movie Robots That Fry Circuits (Asylum)Maxim Hometown Hotties Recommends (BustedCoverage) Pedobear Goes To Jail (RegretfulMorning)Trick Or Treating For Adults (MadeMan)Why Your Driver Will Lose: Tony Stewart (AllLeftTurns)Swerving Car Hits School Bus (NothingToxic) Select Your Own Adventure (Atom)
Classic cinema stills get bombed.
Bond Girl Rosamund Pike stars with Bruce Willis in Surrogates, opening everywhere today. Besides sexing up the screen in Die Another Day, Rosamund also starred in Pride & Prejudice as Jane Bennet, where she met future fiance, now ex-fiance, director Joe Wright. Apparently Joe called off the engagement shortly before the wedding. The invitations had already been sent out. Ooooo, that's gotta sting. You would have looked stunning in your wedding gown. Someday, Rosamund. Someday… A word from Rosamund: "If I have a quality of Englishness that people like, I won't hide that. I'm probably not going to play a junkie and that's OK."You say that now, but what if Spielberg wanted you to play a junkie for his new motion capture 3D musical "Junkies," huh? That project doesn't exist, but are you going to tell one of the greatest directors of all time that you won't smoke crack rock on screen? Besides, with your good looks, you could totally make rotted teeth work. Here are some pics after the jump with exemplary oral hygene!