Title: My Bloody Valentine 3-D Director: Patrick Lussier Cast: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith, Kevin Tighe, Tom Atkins Synopsis: Ten years ago, a tragedy changed the town of Harmony forever. Tom Hanniger, an inexperienced coal miner, caused an accident in the tunnels that trapped and killed five men and sent the only survivor, Harry Warden, into a permanent coma. But Harry Warden wanted revenge. Exactly one year later, on Valentine’s Day, he woke up…and brutally murdered twenty-two people with a pickaxe before being killed. Ten years later, Tom Hanniger returns to Harmony on Valentine’s Day, still haunted by the deaths he caused. Genre: Horror Release Date: January 16, 2009
Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working. Studio: LionsgateRating: n/aRelease Date: April 17th, 2009Babes to Watch For: Amy Smart
It just absolutely boggles the mind that some movies get made. I feel like it's my DUTY to find these gems and let you know about them. It's not even 11AM on Monday and I've already found one that I think is going to be hard to top the rest of the week. Just sit back and ask yourself: what type of hooker debt did Lt. Chekov get himself into that he would need to be in a movie about a baby-octupus alien boy hatched from a dude's front-butt? And how did Cameron from Ferris Bueller take such a hard fall? Does he also have really bad hooker debt. Guys! You and your hookers. So many questions. So few answers, and even more hookers.
Title: Black Dynamite Director: Scott Sanders Cast: Michael Jai White, Salli Richardson, Nicole Sullivan, Mykelti Williamson, Mike Starr Synopsis: This is the story of 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite. The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House. Genre: Action & Adventure Release Date: January 15, 2009
The Unborn follows the story of a young woman Casey (Odette Yustman) that's haunted by a menacing ghost-devil-child that threatens everyone in she loves. In order to stop the Nazi cursed ghost that gains strength by inhabiting people, Casey must travel to the terrifying unknown to end the curse forever. Michael Bay Produces!Studio: UniversalRating: PG-13Release Date: January 9th, 2009
It's the first monday of the rest of your life. We have a black president. Marley and Me is still dominating our box office. Despite the crumbling economy and the increasing probability that the rapture will occur in YOUR lifetime, moving pictures continue to be a profitable business. Netflix is going to be built into your TV. And Steve Jobs told the world that there is something wrong with his hormones, but that he will live. All of this in our morning news links. The future, dear Junkies, is a bright one.
I probably should have been a Ninja. Or at least a Korean Pop star who plays a Ninja in a movie. I have missed my calling. I blame my parents for never letting me go to Ninja camp or join the Korean Pop Star team in high school. This is a great behind the scenes vid of what goes into fight choreography in the production of Ninja Assassin, a film produced by the Wachowski brothers and directed by James McTeigue.The film stars stars Korean pop star Rain (Speed Racer) as Raizo, one of the deadliest assassins in the world. Taken from the streets as a child, he was transformed into a trained killer by the Ozunu Clan, a secret society whose very existence is considered a myth. But haunted by the merciless execution of his friend by the Clan, Raizo breaks free from them… and vanishes. Now he waits, preparing to exact his revenge.
Still hungover from New Years huh? Monday TV's got your back. Better make some three layer microwave nachos and watch the Fiesta Bowl, and then chill out with six whole hours of Lost reruns (you knew season 5 premiers in 16 days right?!). Only time cures hangovers (those pills at 7/11 don't work, believe me) and everyone knows that's best spent in front of your TV. The Fiesta Bowl: OSU vs Texas 5:15 on FOX Fiesta Bowl Boise State Vs Oklahoma – Watch more Free Videos
It looks like they let the guys from Jackass direct a film with Jason Statham in it. It's about that quality and has the same sort of camera work. But it's also totally badass. I liked the first Crank, mainly because of the scene where he bones the girl in the middle of a street. Also, this version has Dwight Yoakum. And Cory Haim. That automatically makes it more awesome. Crank 2: High Voltage Red Band Trailer – Watch more free videos
Amid a massive lawsuit between studios for releasing rights, Buzz for Watchmen is still being pumped out. Here's a recently released featurete with Zach Snyder breaking down the movie. He mentions that this is the first time a superhero movie has social commentary, which is kind of bullshit. All superhero movies are some sort of social commentary, including 300, which shined light on the plight of gay Spartans. Enjoy the vid. It's long enough to feel almost spoiler-ish.
Out with aught eight and in with the big '09. What hell happened this past year? Instead of reflecting on the global $#!t show, remember the good times, like when that guy threw his boots at George W., or when Michael Phelps won 14,000 gold medals for America. Look toward the future with a bottle of champagne, a bunch of random friends, and of course with your best friend of all, TV. Here's what's on tonight.
The Associated Press reported today that James Cameron's The Terminator has been selected for entry into the National Film Registry archive preserving it for other generations to see. The purpose of the registry which was established by Congress in 1989 is to help showcase America's cinema history and heritage. Some may wonder to the exact reason why The Terminator was selected along with this year's other entries, but I have my own opinion on the matter. I have a feeling that after the Great Robot War is over future historians will have something to look back on and pinpoint why we allowed our metal masters to take over in the first place.
The main response I have heard from people that (waste their lives) read Twilight is that the movie did a really crappy job of adapting the book. I saw the movie and it was really bad. I it's rare that I say a movie is really bad– this is one of the few times. I also have a few friends at Summit (the company that released the movie) who have mentioned on numerous occasions that Catherine Hardwicke, the recently fired director was totally incompetent and a total bitch. Which is why she was fired. So now the fact that there is fan-girl uproar about a new, more competent director being put in her place confuses me. Actually, the fact that there are Twilight fan girls confuses me. Ok fine, girls confuse me. Here's a video from Reelz that breaks down some of the "controversy" about the forthcoming New Moon
While most americans are going to be living in the hollowed, rusted shells of their SUV's and eating ketchup soup out of an old boot, the rest of the world is going to be going to the movies. According to Variety Paramount racked up 2 Billion in foreign sales this year, thanks in most part to Indiana Jones and Kung Fu Panda (we're looking at you, China). That's pretty impressive considering we're in a global recession. As more and more countries sprout middle income brackets, foreign sales will continue to increase. And although you can't eat it if you are currently jobless, here is your morning news.
There are two times when it comes in VERY handy that I speak fluent Japanese: ordering sushi and deciphering martial arts movie trailers. Let me translate this one for you. "A woman who is able to kick really fast and jump off of walls and shit has to TOTALLY beat the crap out of a bunch of dudes…in Japan."
A few parts of this trailer made me laugh, so it seems worth posting. Mockumentaries can either buckle under the weight of lackluster acting or be totally brilliant. Nothing will every beat Spinal Tap.Synopsis: A mockumentary about an aspiring inventor who dreams of winning an annual young inventor award. The only problem is… he's never made an invention that works.
With the holiday lag and all, we have a few trailers to get you up to speed on. And what better way to start the day than with a bit of Lesbian Vampire Killers? We posted the poster a few weeks back. Yes, it's a comedy, but its guaranteed to be sexy & bloody as well. And possibly even contribute to the rights of same sex female vampire couples everywhere.Lesbian Vampire Killers Teaser – Watch more free videos
NBC Universal is using the intrawebs more and more to their advantage. In order to keep fans up to date with their favorite shows they have been deploying Webisodes to have audiences stay connected in between the network broadcasted episodes during the holiday repeats. It seems that this is the next step into viral campaigns. Heroes, Battlestar Galactica, Chuck, and The Office are just some that have been using side stories to maintain a continuous pulse within their fan base. For other things you can find on the internet here's some links.
Synopsis: When rag doll '9' first comes to life, he finds himself in a post-apocalyptic world. All humans are gone, and it is only by chance that he discovers a small community of others like him taking refuge from fearsome machines that roam the earth intent on their extinction.My Prediction: Someday the human race will destroy itself and children's toys WILL rule this planet.
Warner Brothers ExecLets turn The Watchmen picture book into a cinema movie.Smarter, Younger Warner Brothers ExecUm…do we have the rights to that?Warner Brothers ExecAre you telling me how to run my business? I was making moving pictures while you were in short pants! Make me A Watchmen!Smarter, Younger Warner Brothers ExecBut I'm pretty sure that Fox owns the rights…Warner Brothers ExecHow can a furry woodland animal own the rights to a story? You're FIRED. [end]Read the full story at VarietyYour morning news after the jump:
The new season of Lost premiers on Wed, Jan 21st at 8/7c. According to ABC, "The band of friends, family, enemies and strangers must continue to work together to stay alive with danger and mystery looming behind every corner." With a promo like that how can you not watch it?
What do you get when you cross Goodfellas with City of God and shoot it in Italy? A badass looking film, that's what. I'm pumped about this one. It's already dropped in a few markets, so check the listings to see when it releases in your area.
Just wanted to let you know that Chewbacca and his Family hope that EVERYONE and their families have a wonderful holiday, regardles or race, creed, or planetary origin. More from Boing Boing.
I've heard that this is basically the bloodiest thing since The Battle of Antietam. The Civil war was in the 1800's, so it was in 2-D. This one is in 3D. And listen, I need to come clean about something: The last 3-D movie I saw was Captain EO at Disneyland when I was 8. I have not experienced any of the recent films that utilize this rediscovered technology.
Zach Galifianiakis is one of the funniest people alive. This is how an interview should be done and bears some striking similarities to our recent sit down with Brea Grant.
Megan Fox's Body gets a release date (Comingsoon)HBO seals deal with Mario Bello (Variey)Werewolf dramedy unleashed at Fox (Hollywoodreporter)New clip from Whedon's Dollhouse
[Editor's Note: I am at my parents house for the holidays in South Texas. The only thing in the theatre that I had not see was Twilight, so I went. I was the only person in the theatre that had not just had her first period. Watching the movie made me change my stance on Kristen Stewart. Best, MAX POWERS.]Kristen Stewart is my kind of pretty. She's got the natural beauty thing on lockdown. I've basically been in love with her since Into the Wild, which I thought was great film. She was 9 types of sexy jailbait. It's a shame that Twilight was a movie I was not willing to touch with my worst enemy's eyeballs, even though Stewart was in it. I'm definitely willing to watch her play Joan Jett. That story and more in our news roundup. the worst fucking actress in the entire world. Here's a few for the weekend.
Its was a big news story yesterday that Jeremy Piven was leaving the Broadway show Speed The Plow due to high mercury content in his blood. This made me think "Of course he has a high blood-mercurey content. Mercury was the God of WAR. He's ARI GOLD. His veins run not with normal vitreous fluid, but rather course with the mightiest quicksilver known to man." And now the news today is that Piven will be replaced by…William H. Macy? Woah.