Guys, I can NOT express how important it is for you to get out there and NOT vote this election. Voting is the reason that the economy is in shambles. Voting is what killed Heath Ledger. Voting was the associate producer of Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Only you as an indivdual have the power to prevent these things from ever happening again.
The Grudge Three: Still Holding A Grudge. Come on people, what about forgiveness? Haven't you ever heard that it's divine? Here’s to hoping that the next one is The Grudge Four: We All Kiss And Make Up And Head Over To Sizzler For Some Popcorn Shrimp.
This is probably the best thing that The Simpsons has done in a long time. This is from the forthcoming 19th installment of the 'Treehouse of Horror.' Does that make you feel old?
I’m sorry to startle everyone this early. But it looks like…wait, are you sitting down? You should be, because you are using a computer. Nobody stands at a computer. Maybe scientists? Anyway, looks like Joaquin Phoenix is going to quit acting. To work on his music. Great move buddy.
Lycans, aka werewolves with "enhanced strength, speed and regeneration abilities", are revolting against their discriminatory vampire masters in this the third installment of the Underworld series. It explores the origins of the age old monster rivalry between vamps and Lycans, with a vampire babe and all out rumbles to the death.
You don’t mess with the Kung Fu Jesus. You just dont. That’s all, my disciples. Here are thine links. Click of them how you will. Now go forth and be bountiful in your mention of our hallowed site, and spread the word of Junkies.
Looks like this one is going to be a bullet for this year’s Oscars, or so says the blogosphere.
Ok. Not sure how many Jr. Economists we have in our readership. Or even advanced free market theorists. But when the big Alan G speaks, the world listens. And what did he say this time?
There is a movie theatre in my hometown that we affectionately refer to as The Dollar Theatre. The reason it is called The Dollar Theatre is because movies cost a dollar. The last movie I saw there was the first Underworld. My point is that with inflation and all, I’m even willing to pay two dollars to see this third installment.
People, we live in strange times. Florida is leaning toward voting a black man into the oval office. The economy finally said “Oh, I got you GOOD BITCHES! Earnings? Whatever!” And it looks like Paramount is fast tracking the new Footloose. I pray every night that they name it Footlooser. And every morning, we put the news together for you.
His name alone drops panties from the pools of Palm Springs to the board rooms of Madison Avenue. He is Don Draper, and reasons for his success can be found in the above video. They are simple. And these are his preferred links.
This is what a rocumetary is supposed to be all about. Blood, sweat, guns, women, and enough booze to drown a herd of elephants. Looks like this one’s headed straight to DVD. Netflix, I’m looking at you.
Dirty Harry is back! And while he's looking pretty darn old, he's still ripe with vengeance and even seems to be channeling a little bit of Batman… Clint Eastwood plays an aging Vietman vet who has an awesome '73 Gran Torino (in Green). Then some punk kid who's mixed up with
I had no idea that Clint Eastwood did the Voice for the Dark Knight. That’s so awesome.
We’re trying to at least keep it sort of Halloween up in this bitch. And what better way than this selection for our weekly mashup. Not only is it thematically relevant, its technically superb and goddamn funny. Mwwwwwaaaaa haaaa haaaaa haaaaaa etc.
I never saw Cloverfield because I heard that people were totally vomiting in the theatre. And whenever I smell vomit, it makes me want to vomit. Now having seen this South Park clip, I feel like I’ve seen the movie. Awesome.
Monday Morning. A time for reflection. A time too look back over the weekend and wonder if you made all the right moves, if you did your best keg stand and provided reliable wingman services for your bros. A time for the morning links.
Ben over at CAGEPOTATO.COM has some coverage of last night's UFC fight. I love the way that Bruce Buffer has to rattle off all of the advertiser blurbs before this main event.
I was thinking about how it’s going to be lame that I have to spend all my weekend moving. Then I saw this new trailer for Notorious and I was reminded how lucky I am not to be a fat dead rapper who doesn’t even get to move into a new apartment because they are dead. Time to start drinking. Here are your links.
This is a post from Holy Taco. Click on the image for the full version. So genius.
Will Ferrell’s impersonation of bush is not the best, but it is the most hilarious. The writing is great on this one, seriously. I've been really impressed this season. Now I'm going to go have three Xanex and a Silver Bullet. God Bless America.
I'm posting this because this is the official pitch that I found with the trailer: "Bitch Slap is a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s – 70’s as well as a loving, sly parody of same. Inspired by the likes of Dragstrip Girls, Faster Pussycat, Kill, Kill, Kung Fu Nun, and the Pant." Dude.
Richard Sandrak is that kid from a while back that was super popular for being 10 years old and totally ripped. He has starred in his first roll as a kid who is 10 years old and totally ripped. And it’s in 3-D. Thanks to Best Week Ever for this little roided-up gem.
Last night I had one too many Jamesons. I turned on the TV and watched about five minutes of the Chris Rock special on HBO on demand. Then I started packing up the apartment because my girlfriend and I are moving. Are you thrilled? Here’s the morning news, Junkie.
I always figured that the reason tiny animals make you feel good is that if they made you feel bad, there would be a much greater chance of you eating them, and much lesser chance of species actually surviving. Here’s the links.
I put this in our link dump yesterday. But it makes me laugh so hard that I decided that it merits a spot on the homepage. Manhole. 69. Straight face. God bless local news, and the stuff they just don’t catch.
Produced by Michael Bay. That's all you need to know. BOOM.
Stupid Chad Carter with his stupid Leukemia, bankrupting the Make A Wish Foundation with his usage of bureaucratic loopholes. Makes me SO mad. PS, I know I posted an Onion video yesterday. But hells bells they’re on top of their game.
Good morning. How'd you sleep? The entire staff of Screenjunkies stayed up last night and broke into a zoo. We have brand new mascots for the site. Here's the morning news roundup while we figure out what to feed a sloth.
It's not totally clear what the hell he's talking about in this clip, but one this is for sure. Bill Cosby is almost 400 years younger then John McCain. Put that on your shuffleboard court and shove it.