Remember when I said they'd make a Commando sequel before they'd reboot the film? I lied. Actually, I never said anything about anything. But the rumors have started flooding in, and Slashfilm has found several instances of corroborating evidence that indeed, a Commando sequel just might be in development… and that it might have a star already willing to take up the John Matrix mantle. The trail of clues starts in Australia, where, according to JoBlo, there's an article in a magazine called RCI that simply states a remake is being developed. Okay. But what of it? I heard Fox just optioned the remake of Tom Rothman's dream he had last night, a dream that was essentially a reënvisioning of Garfield 2. But there's more. CineFools.com also has picked up on the possibility that Dwayne Johnson is attached to the film already. I don't know how I feel about this. I think I have to meditate on it by watching the GREATEST opening credits sequence of all time… from the original Commando. You can watch it, too, after the jump.
Different smart people are always debating what it is that movies are supposed to do for us. From "transcending the emptiness of our modern lives" to "reflecting our secret desires," somebody always has some crackpot theory about what a movie means. So what does it mean that dudes getting interrupted while wanking it is in almost every kind of movie you can imagine? Drama, Coming of Age, Suburban Comedy, 1990's Hip Hop parody comedy. Here, in an intro to the genre, we present you with a survey course, Movie Masturbatus Interruptus 101. AMERICAN PIE
A new episode of "Man in the Box" went up today, and while it's not movie or TV related – not in the least – it still happens on a screen, so… yeah we're stretching. But it's a particularly funny episode, and any piece of original content that has the line, "Why don't you just go bang REO Speedwagon, then!" has our seal of approval. TODAY'S TOP LINKS. VISIT THEM! ENJOY! YOU'RE WELCOME! Leah Dizon Is Hot Lose Your One Night Stand Bruno's Lawyers Attack! 10 Freakish Youtubers Keyboard-Mouse Combo 10 Worst Superhero Lays 5 Diabolical Animals Tribute To Spencer Pratt Female MMA Champ Best Triumph Moments You Deadliest Catch! Top 10 Bikini Flick Scenes Pick Up Soap In Jail Finals Halftime Tweets Moon On 'Burn Notice'
Above is the first official look at Mickey Rourke as baddie "Whiplash" in Jon Favreau's Iron Man 2: Our Secrecy Has Become Self-Parody. Originally, the character of Whiplash was female, but has since been reënvisioned as a dude whose real name is "Marc Scarlotti" within Marvel's Ultimate line of titles. Here's a pic:On the downside, the Rourke version of Whiplash kinda looks like a pirate from the future. On the upside, the Marvel comics version of Whiplash looks like DC Comics' Bane character. And something tells me that the image of Rourke is pre-official costume. That "something" is the official Iron Man 2 Whiplash concept art, which you can see after the jump.
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard Red Band Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers Check out the trailer for The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard starring Jeremy Piven. It's all about a car salesman, is being produced by Adam McKay and Will Ferell's Gary Sanchez, and seems a lot like the tone of the August Blowout car salesmen script that McKay and Ferrell scripted some years ago. Hell, it might be based on that script. I don't know. I don't care. I'm too busy laughing tonight for research. Top Links of the Day: Meet Carin Ashley 24-35 Year Old's Facebook 'Accidents Happen' Trailer Legos Caught Fornicating Tennis Ball Gadgets New Scream Trilogy? 6 Sex Myths (That Are True) Drunken Monkeys Learn To Fight MMA Style Cameron, Fincher Join 'Metal' Bill O'Reilly Is Wrong Phil Ivey Makes $12 Million A Gallery of Pee Stains Old School Beer Ads The New iPhone Tidbits Heisman Frontrunners Front Flip Gone Wrong Metal Gear Spoof Javier Bardem Does Chick Flick?
The Snuggie. You may not own one, but you probably know someone who does, or at least you're familiar with the "blanket with sleeves" that's become a bit of a internet meme. It's such a ridiculous yet attractive product that it's managed to seep its way into mainstream media, making appearances on shows like "30 Rock," and "The Big Bang Theory." And much of its popularity seems to be based on this really lo-fi – some may say terrible – commercial. Snuggie Commercial – Watch more Funny Videos
Above: Power Suit from Avatar on display at E3This morning, SlashFilm's Russ Fischer made a mega post about Avatar in which he compiled everything he has been able to gather on the film from his trusted sources and from producer Jon Landau's presentation at last week's E3 conference. (UbiSoft's Avatar game will be released concurrently with the film). Head over to SlashFilm for all the goods, or check our our Cliff Notes version after the jump – BOTH CONTAIN SPOILERS!
Being a movie star is hard. You have to deal with all those fans constantly wanting your autograph… the measly millions of dollars made every movie (barely enough to pay…
DIRECTOR: Duncan Jones CAST: Sam Rockwell, Kevin Spacey (voice)SYNOPSIS: Astronaut Sam Bell has a quintessentially personal encounter toward the end of his three-year stint on the Moon, where he, working alongside his computer, GERTY, sends back to Earth parcels of a resource that has helped diminish our planet's power problems.
I have nothing to say about this image other than a) Thank you,SickPigs.com for bringing this masterpiece to my attention and b) if you are the person responsible for this masterpiece and you like "Dexter," then I have a Dexter Bobblehead courtesy of Showtime Networks for you. Just email us with evidence at email@example.com and we'll reward you. Today's Top Links: Christina Marie Red Carpet Moments Nick Cage Hires Witch Doctor NBA Finals Girlfriends Microsoft's New Gaming Best Performances of 2000s Why Does TV Suck? Star Wars/80s TV Mashups Brock Lesnar Smashes Odor Actresses Get Ripped Women Make Men Dumb Warrant Over One-Piece Etiquette Issues 5 Types of Dog Owners Cooking With Beer Fight Turns into Strip Clash Of The Titans Pic Modern Day Jesus Pwned in an Elevator Congressman Protests NBA
“Oh my God…” That was what the woman sitting behind me in the theater kept muttering as we watched The Hangover together. I have to admit, I had a similar reaction to this clever and raunchy comedy, albeit a silent one. I can understand why Zach Galifianakis’s ass might elicit such a response, verbal or internal. In a world of reimaginings and adaptations, it was refreshing to experience an original piece of material taking full advantage of its potential. The concept is so simple it’s a wonder no one’s thought of it before, but hallelujah for the people out there like Todd Phillips who get creative when delivering big laughs.
If you're reading this during Land of the Lost's opening weekend and happened to have come here from our homepage, you may have noticed the GIANT LAND OF THE LOST AD enveloping it. So, for those of you who think our advertisers dictate our reviews, you probably shouldn't read on. (And those of you who thought our "Best/Worst Movie Time Machines" piece was a thinly-veiled ad for Land of the Lost, you should just stop reading the site entirely.) Because I genuinely liked Land of the Lost.
Today, Summit released two new clips and six new stills from the upcoming Kathryn Bigelow-directed war movie, The Hurt Locker, opening June 26th. The first clip, entitled "Die Comfortably," features loose-cannon Staff Sgt. William James (the badass Jeremy Renner) resigning himself to the fact that if the bomb he's diffusing goes off, his armor isn't doing squat to save his life. The other clip, which you can watch after the jump, is called "Cell Phone, Two O'clock," and gives a tiny clip of the film's tension quotient, as St. Matt Thompson (Guy Pearce) – bedecked in full blast suit and all – is compromised by an insurgent with a cell phone-cum-detonator. And the guy's got Thompson's number… on speed dial… Check out the clip after the jump. We'll have a review for anxiety-inducing The Hurt Locker coming soon, but suffice it to say my sphincter was clenched the entire movie so as to avoid dropping a deuce in the pristine Wilshire Screening Room. And I want to be invited back there.
EDITOR'S NOTE: After posting what we thought was a funny riff on Mike Tyson – essentially a fake "on set journal" kept by the famed fighter during his work on The Hangover - some of our readers made it known that in late May, Tyson suffered the tragic loss of his 4-year-old daughter, Exodus. We agree with these readers that right now is not the time to be placing a humorous spotlight on Tyson, and have removed the original post. Screen Junkies offers our sincere condolences to Tyson and his family.
IT MIGHT GET LOUD TRAILER – Watch more Funny Videos In directing An Inconvenient Truth, filmmaker Davis Guggenheim basically managed to make a guy in a suit giving a Powerpoint presentation engaging. So it stands to reason that his upcoming film, It Might Get Loud, which gives an intimate look into the lives of guitar gods new, old and middle aged – Jack White, Jimmy Page and U2's The Edge, respectively – will be the documentary equivalent of a 90-minute H.J. An H.J. with a most bitchin' soundtrack. An H.J. with at least three solos involved. But not a solo H.J. That's just masturbation. Read more on the project and check out some production photos of the legendary guitar heroes after the jump. Try not to throw your panties at the computer.
THE Final Destination Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers The new trailer for The Final Destination – a title that either means it's THE definitive chapter in the series, or the filmmakers are huge Ohio State fans – premiered today, and we have it (above). I've been a fan of the Final Destination films. They're good, schlocky fun and don't pretend to be anything else. This one's in 3-D, no less, and I can't think of a more perfect type of film to make egregious use of the ever-improving 3-D technologies, until they figure out holographic porn. That's when James Cameron quits. Today's Top Links: Mandy Ashford! Best Stoner Food! Kate Winslet's B****r! LOL Sexy Mannequins! Super Mario Galaxy 2! Sh*tty Crossover Flicks! Evil CG Pigeons! Colbert Talks Sue-age! Best Superpowers! Awkward Family Photos! Over-Caffeinated Food! New Metal Gear Solid!
Director: Davis GuggenheimCast: Jack White, Jimmy Page, The EdgeSynopsis: Tells the personal stories, in their own words, of three generations of electric guitar virtuosos – The Edge (U2), Jimmy Page (Led Zeppelin), and Jack White (The White Stripes). It reveals how each developed his unique sound and style of playing favorite instruments, guitars both found and invented.Release Date: In Select Theaters, August 14th, 2009
DIRECTOR: David R. EllisCAST: Krysta Allen, Mykelti Williamson, Shantel VanSanten, Stephanie Honore, Rebecca Newman
Last week, Anna Friel made Screen Junkies' list of 12 Actresses You Should Know, and after Land of the Lost hits this weekend, you should know her very well. We had a chance to sit down with Anna at Universal's Land of the Lost press day in Hollywood, and record what she had to say. Here's some of that chat. We had some fun with the real audio to help give it a little more context. Yes that's right… context! Enjoy. Anna Friel Talks LAND OF THE LOST – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSCheck out photos of Anna After the jump!
On Friday, Land of the Lost hits theaters. Somehow, Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, and Anna Friel are hurled back in time. We here at Screen Junkies decided to take a closer look into movie’s most iconic time-traveling devices. Truly, any time machine is pretty cool, but given a huge selection of methods, we’ve pinpointed our favorites.(Click image to Cretacious Era-size it) What is your preferred time traveling device? Give your position a voice, so that we can help push the inventors into the right machine for adventures into the time-space continuum. If you don’t travel in time in style, boy, you aren’t travelin’.Oh and for those of you pissed we didn't include TARDIS… maybe because it's TOO SOON, MAN!
Ridiculous Dead Snow Promo – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSOur friend Dustin Rowles over at Pajiba stooped below his normal level of journalistic excellence in order to bring everyone's attention to this ridiculous promo for Dead Snow, the Norwegian Nazi Zombie horror flick we posted the trailer for a few days back. If anyone can spot just how this video pertains to the film, you win a Screen Junkies tee-shirt. You know how confident I am that you won't find a direct correlation? Because we don't even have Screen Junkies tee-shirts right now. (If you'll settle for a Holy Taco one, that's a different story.) Today's Top Links: Josh Brolin Is Cowboy Two-Face (FilmDrunk) The 10 Greatest Conan O' Brien Characters (Manofest) Hot Tiffany Joy Gallery (GorillaMask) 5 Kinds of People Who Dont Pick Up Their Dogs Shit (RegretfulMorning) Cartoon Chicks Brawling (TheBachelorGuy) Rick Santorum Dating Advice (Asylum) Recent Grads Twitter Page (Holytaco) THe Amazing Click-A-Chick (BustedCoverage) Sexy Lana Cox (Uncoached) Left 4 Dead Trailer (Unreality) The Electric Cherry (Walyou) Turkish Talk Show Brawl (NothingToxic) Sweet Tetris Orgy (Atomfilms) The Pour Elle Remake (Filmofilia)
Splash News posted this new photo of Tracy Morgan in Kevin Smith's buddy cop comedy A Couple of Dicks. No reports as to the full context of the scene, but it does appear that Mr. Morgan is dressed as a cell phone, and taking flight atop a bicycle. As this is a cop film, my guess is that he's disguised himself as the phone – a disguise that was compromised – and then he commandeered the bicycle as the foam phone suit proved too cumbersome for fleeing on foot. Then again, this could just be a Kevin Smith's metaphorical homage to our exponentially shifting communications technologies. I mean, the guy did direct Mallrats, after all. See the photo in its entirety – including just what Tracy is riding his bike away from - after the jump. [via ComingSoon]
Director: Kevin SmithCast: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Seann William Scott, Adam Brody, Ana De La RegueraSynopsis: A comedy about two cops whose adventures include locating a stolen baseball card, rescuing a woman, and dealing with gangsters and their laundered money.
We don't post a lot of game trailers on Screen Junkies, but this one for Bio Ware's new Star Wars: The Old Republic MMO game is too pants-crapping good to pass up. Marvel as some Sith badasses julienne some Jedi. All you foodies/assassins out there know what I mean! We'd like to thank one of our faithful readers, the man known as "Library," who brought this to our attention, while also making noting that the game's featured R2 unit "looks so retro, it's almost steampunk." Mr. Library, you are a junkie, and a scholar. Thank you for finding time in between your daily hentai viewings to submit content.
Pauly Shore is America's Great Divider. Even his blink-and-you’ll-miss-it appearance in a popular 42-second online film is enough to make people hate the whole thing and remind themselves and the rest of the Internet how much they hate him. LAST DAY DREAM – Watch more Funny Videos In an unprecedented move, Screen Junkies has completed the first ever survey of Pauly Shore cinematic scholars, as well as a few undergrads majoring in "Pauly Shore Studies," which some of schools in the UC system have made available as a path of metriculation. The results of our unprecedented survey demonstrate that there are basically only three Pauly Shore jokes, repeated in film after film. These are those jokes.