Black Dynamite Theatrical Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers We all knew Michael Jai White could kick some ass. But who knew the man could sucker punch a funny bone like this? See for yourself in the above trailer for the new blaxploitation spoof, Black Dynamite. It looks, as they say on the streets, "official as a referee's whistle." The flick opens in limited release October 16th, and – February be damned – I declare October to be the new Black History month! And given that I'm about as white as D.J. Qualls after a two years of hibernation in his parents' basement, I'm guessing no one really gives a sh*t. Today's Top links are dy-no-miiiiiiite! 7 Annoying People On Your Company Softball Team (HolyTaco) Long Overdue Twilight Porn Parodies (FilmDrunk) Bowling Magicians Make Bowling Magic Happen (SuperTremendous) Five Bad Actresses Who Look Great In Leather (Pajiba) Blake Lively Airs Out Her Nipple (CelebJihad) 10 Most Memorable Torture Scenes In Movies (Unreality) Playmate-Filled 'Guitar Hero 5' Ad Ruined By Hef (Asylum) Eugene Mirman's Guide To Getting Groupies (Heeb) Dirty Play Taints Lingerie Football (BustedCoverage) Kid Loves/Hates His First Rollercoaster (RegretfulMorning) Fantasy Football: Week 1 Start'em & Sit'em (TotalProSports) Become A Brociate For Fun And Profit (MadeMan) Jesus Playing Sports Pic Gallery (AllLeftTurns)
You may remember Jamie Chung as Jamie Chung on Real World San Diego. She did a stellar job portraying her sexy self in the midst of angsty early-twenties adversity, homoerotic tempations, and sooooooo much booze. This Friday she stars in Sorority Row as Claire, a.k.a The Flirt. All we're saying is there's supposedly a topless hot tub scene. That's all we're sayin'. Oh, and "awesome." Now that's all we're sayin'. A word from Jamie: "It's a very strong, young, female role. And her name is Chi-Chi." Jamie, you're playing the chihuahua that constantly licked my face when I was but a young lad only knee-high to a tadpole?! Can I play me?! Wait, why not? But you played you on "The Real World!" Life's not fair… But these pics of you after the jump certainly are fair!
Joe Carnahan's big screen A-Team adaptation is gaining a lot of steam lately and it now looks like the final castmember is about to fall into place. Latino Review tipped us off to a report that Sharlto Copley has been tapped for the role of "Howling Mad" Murdock. Though he's pretty much a non-actor, Copley wowed audiences with his performance as Wikus in this summer's District 9. The end result will be interesting to see. Of course, a lot is riding on the character's on-screen chemistry with Quintin "Rampage" Jackson's B.A. Baracus. The danger here being that if they get along too well, Baracus will dry hump him. I strongly recommend that the producers implement the use of a safe word on set.
There's a lot of fancy talk going on about the new Tim Burton-produced 9, and why not? I haven't been this giddy to see a doll walk a dystopian Earth since I watched Pinocchio listening to Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" – but I am pretty sure Pete Langham steered me wrong on that combo. There have been a lot of movies featuring a post-apocalyptic world, but none of them, and I mean none of them, are headlined by a 3-D rendering of a sock monkey (save for Kurt Russell in Soldier). But, this got us to thinking – what else should we be expecting in the years to come? And how do we know we're living it? Other Junk You Might Like: Nichole Jackson is Dressed to Impress
Indian Superman & Spider-Woman – Watch more Funny Videos So Disney merges with Marvel. Warner Bros. forms DC Entertainment. It's just a matter of time before Dreamworks' Indian partners buy them all out and creates something like the above. But with slightly better green screen. Though, to the above film's credit, warts and all, it still looks better than The Spirit.
Briana Evigan first strutted her stuff up on screen as Andie in Step Up 2 (the number, not the word): The Streets. This Friday she stars in Sorority Row, but something tells us her character Cassidy ain't gonna sport half da fly pops and ticks of Andie. Can Cassidy tut while wielding an ax? Can she do flares while running for her life? What? That's an impossibility considering your feet need to be up in the air? Don't backtalk me! I choreographed the Cats revival in the alley behind my studio apartment. A word from Briana: "It's a West Coast thang." It certainly is, Briana. Just like In 'n Out burgers and the proliferation of hackneyed dreams. You can't see me, but I'm flashing you a Westside sign right now using my fingers in the shape of a W. I'll take the pics of you after the jump as a sign of mutual respect.
"A traveling underground fight club called 'The Brawlers' arrive at a derelict ghost town tucked away in the Colorado Rockies. They meet the town's only residents, the Maxilla family who want to buy on to the fight card. But the Maxilla family's true intentions for the Brawler crew is soon revealed in teeth and claws. Some will be hunted, some will be feed, and some will become part of the family…whether they like it or not."
Though it was bound to happen, I didn't think it would happen to MY generation. I thought, "Yes, it is eventual that a film combining mixed martial arts and werewolves together will be created some day but that's my children's problem. It surely won't occur in my lifetime." I was woefully wrong. Music video director Sxv'leithan Essex (?) is teaming up with the producer of Rise of the Silver Surfer to bring us Growl, a story about an underground fight club hunted by a family of werewolves. This movie is going to need a heavy soundtrack. Slipknot, warm up your amps. (First Showing) Wait a minute? Boxing? Werewolves?? I've seen this before…. but where? Step into the Octagon of Death with these links… Resident Evil hits the reset button. (Moviehole)Lord of the Rings lawsuit is settled. (Pajiba)Nic Cage craps out on Green Hornet. (Cinema Blend)LOST Art: Eric Tan's "The Crash" (/Film)Ne-Yo to battle aliens on behalf of Los Angeles. (Empire)Megan Fox: Evolution (MTV)
CLOONEY & VERA FARMIGAS FAUXM PARTY – Watch more Funny VideosIn this, the first teaser clip from Jason Reitman's upcoming UP IN THE AIR, traveling businessman Ryan Bingham (George Clooney) has a casual encounter in a hotel bar with Alex (Vera Farmiga) and it turns into a battle of hotel discount card one-upmanship. Then Clooney wins the war, flashing his credentials by pulling out a term he calls "fauxmy" – a cross between "faux" and "homey" to describe the behavior of hotel waitstaff. It's an impressive move to win Farmiga's character over, and one that Clooney would only have to pull in the movies, where he's seemingly always playing an "everyman." Which means that if I were to ever act in a movie, I would be playing a "talking butthole." And on that note, check out today's links: How To Enjoy A Strip Club On $30 (HolyTaco) Between Two Ferns With Zach And Charlize (FilmDrunk) 30 Ladies You'd Like To Serve You A Drink (Manofest) 5 Most Seriously Effed Up Movie Premises Of All Time (Pajiba) Lindsay Lohan Has DSLs She Won't Use (CelebJihad) Best Danny DeVito Clip Of All Time? (Unreality) Robot On The Loose In Florida (Asylum) Matisyahu's New Album Comes To Light (Heeb) Hot GILF Sucks Sidney Crosby's Sweet Nectar (BustedCoverage) 8 Awesome Activities That Became Illegal (RegretfulMorning) The Wardrobe Malfunction Pitfalls Of Lingerie Football (TotalProSports) Beat Someone Down With 5 Rare Martial Arts (MadeMan) Danica Patrick And Jen Aniston Have Something In Common (AllLeftTurns)
Director: Jason ReitmanCast: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Jason BatemanSynopsis: Ryan Bingham is a corporate downsizing expert whose cherished life on the road is threatened just as he is on the cusp of reaching ten million frequent flyer miles and just after he's met the frequent-traveler woman of his dreams.
We're kicking off Sorority Row week with Audrina Patridge, who plays Megan in the slasher film hitting theatres this Friday. You may or may not know Audrina from the MTV sensation The Hills, or the tabloid magazines at the front of your local grocery's checkout lane. Sorority Row is Audrina's first major film, if you don't count Into The Blue 2: The Reef, which was direct to video. She's definitely no Jessica Alba, but there's no denying that Audrina can wear a bikini like nobody's business. And if you scour the interweb, you can find evidence that she also doesn't wear a bikini like nobody's business. A word from Audrina: "Go big or go home." We're packing our bags right now… It was very nice meeting you. You seem like a lovely lady. Thanks for the lively conversation and the pics after the jump.
SORORITY ROW opens this Friday and Screen Junkies' beat reporter Mike Capes had a chance to sit down four of the film's Theta Pi sorority sisters: Jamie Chung, Rumer Willis, Briana Evigan and Leah Pipes. Here's what they had to say about the film: First up are Briana and Leah, who play good girl Cassidy and über-bitch Jessica, respectively. Fast-forward to the :30 mark if you just want to see Mike ask them to make out… sorta.
Michael Myers is back in terrifying 3-D!!!
Rumors flew last week that Steve Miner would be sitting in the director's chair for next summer's Halloween 3-D. Not so much, it turns out. Patrick Lussier has been confirmed as the writer/director who will be spraying CGI blood at audiences. This is a bad move but not an unexpected one. His last film, My Bloody Valentine made big money at the box office due to its 3-D presentation despite the fact that the storytelling was terrible in every way, shape, and form. You should also note that H3 doesn't have a script or cast in place and is expected on screens in less than a year. Might be wise to avoid this one and play outside instead. You know, where everything is in 3-D. (First Showing) Get back to goofing off at work with these morning links… "Rampage" Jackson WILL play B.A. Baracus but will he get his own cereal?. (Latino Review)David Gordon Green to remake Suspiria. Will Danny McBride battle witches? (Empire)Interesting tweets from Kevin Smith's Labor Day Q&A. (/Film)Spike Jonze almost directed Ace Ventura 2. (NY Mag)Lorne Michaels issues pink slips. (Comic's Comic)
Bored with your Labor Day already? Don't celebrate Labor Day? Like looking at some of the most gruesome decapitation images that Hollywood has to offer? Well, you are in luck, my friend. After the jump are stills from seventeen different films in which someone's head either explodes, shatters or is lopped off by a cannonball. Try and guess which movies they're from. Get all of them correct and you'll win the satisfaction of having blown our minds.
Director: TBDCast: TBDSynopsis: TBD
Halo 3:ODST Live Action Commercial – Watch more Movie Trailers No, it's not a trailer for some super secretive Halo film they've had in the works all this time. But darned if it shouldn't be received like one. Microsoft has just released a new trailer for the Halo 3: ODST game for the Xbox 360, directed by Rupert Sanders, a commercial director who's won a bunch of awards and accolades, all of which you can read about in SlashFilm's piece. All we care about is seeing things get barbecued to a crisp. Outdoor grill or Fuel Rod Gun; it don't matter! Hell, it's Labor Day Weekend here in the States!
I wonder if this angry feline is all that remains of Brownie the Cat in the future? I wouldn't be surprised. If I were a cat and got an arrow through the head, I'd run around all day chasing sentient socks, especially if they sound like Elijah Wood. In read in this month's "Cat Fancy" that "Elijah Wood's voice" is second only to the sound of a tuna can opening in terms of What Turns Your Cat On. [Clip from 9 courtesy of Coming Soon.]Bat these weekend links around a bit and then sleep for 18 hours: Celebrity Couples With Their Heads Switched (HolyTaco) Busey Time: Bird Season's Over, Butthorn (FilmDrunk) 20 Sexy Catholic Schoolgirl Photos (Manofest) Check In The Pockets Of Your Rented Tuxedo (Pajiba) Jessica Simpson's Breasts Are Unfortunate (CelebJihad) The 10 Best Ghosts In Movies (Unreality) Drive-Thru Church Open 24/7 (Asylum) Why We Love College Football: Photo Gallery (BustedCoverage) Girl Keeps Her Boobs And Her Polish In Her Bra (RegretfulMorning) Blount Punches Boise Player Right In The Kisser (TotalProSports) The First Things Woman Notice About You (MadeMan) Darrell Waltrip Keeps Canada Down (AllLeftTurns) Cop Punches Fat Guy During Massive Brawl (NothingToxic) When Pottery Gets Really Sexual (Atom)
The "laugh track" has a long and storied history of letting morons know when to laugh. But when paired with the wrong footage, the use of a laugh track becomes highly inappropriate. To prove this asinine point, we here at Screen Junkies went ahead and added laugh tracks to five inappropriate films. We hope you like it, because it's the first of 47 installments. Enjoy. Crash Racism + Laugh Track = Inappropriate The Deer Hunter Russian Roulette can be funny, but not when the players are coerced. Inappropriate!
Twenty-two Princess Leias and a guy who kind of looks like Zangief from STREET FIGHTER 2's portlier, less successful brother, Lonny. Yeah that one. The one with the legend for a penis. [via Picture Is Unrelated] Enjoy this evening's new streamlined links: Jessica Barton's Hair Is The Perfect Length (Gorillamask) Flowchart: What Will Happen At Your Labor Day BBQ (HolyTaco) Megan Fox Lesbian Kiss Doesn't Disappoint (FilmDrunk) 25 Funniest Pwned Videos Of All Time (Manofest) Valuable Lessons From Movies In Office Settings (Pajiba) Wil.I.Am Wants To Be A Gay Fish (CelebJihad) Funny (Non Star Trek) William Shatner Moments (Unreality) The Rules For Being A Gangsta (Asylum) Why We Love College Football: A Photo Gallery (BustedCoverage) The 6 People Who Ruin A UFC PPV Party (RegretfulMorning) Cameraman Inches Away From Car To The Face (TotalProSports) The Perils Of Dating Catholics (Heeb) Gloria Navaro: Most Ferocious Cougar (Mademan) 10 Best NASCAR Commercials (AllLeftTurns)
If it's Star Wars related, it lands on this page smoother than the Millenium Falcon.
This Friday sees the release of Mike Judge's Extract, his third live-action comedy. In 1999, Office Space was a huge success and proved Judge could do things outside of the animation world and do it well. His follow-up, Idiocracy (2006), was greeted with lukewarm feelings and absolute zero box office, but its cult following is rabid, and the film cemented Judge as a comedy writer/director with a damn unique voice. So we got to asking ourselves… Having seen the trailer and some clips from Extract, is there a formula to Judge's acerbic wit and humdrum social satire? We cooked something up, let it percolate, and then bottled it at the source. And now, faithful shareholders, we give you: "Mike Judge's Comedy Formula."
The Playlist is reporting on a rumor that Michael Jackson's Captain EO may be making its way back to Disneyland. According to Disney insiders, the film will be back in the park this January. Man, 3D and celebrity deaths are soooo hot right now. The line is kind of blurry on this one. What do you think, heartfelt tribute or distasteful money-making ploy? Check out these links in eye-popping 2D!!! Guy Ritchie to direct Lobo movie. But why? (/Film)Mastodon scores Jonah Hex. (First Showing)Penelope Cruz in her underwear. (Latino Review)Sequels that should be in 3-D. (MTV)7 Beloved Celebrities and the Awful Sh*t You Forgot They Did. (Cracked)Cate Blanchett caught lovely. (NY Mag)
Check out this three-minute sizzle reel from HAWK JONES that the good gents at Everything is Terrible have strung together. Imagine if the cast of SCARFACE & LETHAL WEAPON got the reverse treatment that Tom Hanks got in BIG. Yes, minds blown and eyeballs effed in the A. I would warn you about spoilers, but the chances that you'll actually find the film in its entirety are slim to none. (And yes, that is a personal challenge to you all. If you can find it and tell us where to get it, and we can actually get it… then you get a prize. For real. We can negotiate.) According to imdb.com, there's a straight-to-video movie called HAWK JONES that was released in 1986 and directed by one Richard Lowry, who also scored the film. That's all you have to go on. What do you have to say about the links below, stern but lovable police chief?"You may be crazy, but damned if you ain't clickable." Hillary Fisher Chills In The Woods (Gorillamask) If Money Was Designed Today (Holytaco) Zachary Quinto Is Really Good At Swearing (Filmdrunk) 10 Dirtiest Hand Gestures Of All Time (Manofest) Is It Your iPhone Or Is It A Sleave?! (Walyou) Iron Man's 5 Douchiest Co-Stars (Pajiba) Celebrities And Their Respective Felonies (Cracked) '09 NFL Preview: Cheerleaders Edition (Coed) 7 Sweet Ass Summer Camps (Regretfulmorning) Hottest Tennis Players On The Planet (Maxim) Megan Fox Looks Deep Into Your Eyes (Celebjihad) 9 Best Cities For Bachelors (Mademan) Baroni To Take On Sadollah At UFC 106 (Cagepotato) 10 Louis C.K. Bits You Should Watch Right Now (Unreality) Overage Pics Of Cougar Convention 2009 (Asylum) Favorite Playmate Victoria Silvstedt Holds Up Well (Moondogsports) Russian Kid Beats Fragile Old Man (Nothingtoxic) Kick-Ass And Expendables Get Release Dates (Filmofilia)
The announcement on Monday of the House of Mouse's plans to acquire the Marvel Bullpen sent a ripple thoughout the internet the likes of which has not been seen since Celebricide '09. Within hours there were several illustrations which combined the icons from either camp. Screen Junkies has scoured the corners of the 'Net to put together the most comprehensive gallery of these genius monstrosities. In addition, we sprinkled in a few of our own. CLICK ON THE THUMBS TO SEE THE ORIGINALS IN THEIR FULL GLORY. EXCELSIOR!
Beavis and Butthead have come out of retirement to talk up Mike Judge's latest, Extract. It's great to see these guys again and I love their straight to the point and honest review. Perhaps if Ben and Ben showed this kind of charm they would still be At The Movies. @ Yahoo! Video Look at these morning links, buttwagon… Iron Man 2 interested in jumping on the 3-D bandwagon. (First Showing) Downey & Favreau hop aboard Cowboys & Aliens. (Empire) Get ready for another 30 Days of Night. (Cinema Blend) MacGruber set photo. (Latino Review) Family Guy shuffles the writer's room. (Reuters)
I mean, psychotic or no, the man was born to slash foreskin. And it's a good thing, cause after FINAL DESTINATION whooped his ass this past weekend, he'll need steady work for a while. You and a guest are cordially invited to attend the following: Nicky Fleites Has Sand All Over Her Areas (Gorillamask) How To Survive When Your City Catches Fire (Holytaco) How Twilight Should Have Ended (Filmdrunk) The 10 (Or 20, Really) Biggest Breasts In The World (Manofest) Tetris Sugar Game Is Sweetest Game Of All Time (Walyou) Nominate Megan Fox And Make Your Awards Irrelevant (Pajiba) 5 Amazing Inventions That Will Doom Humanity (Cracked) I Can't Stop Singing Boyz II Men (Heeb) 7 Douchiest Theme Parties (Coedmagazine) Hottest Israel Women Deserve The Holy Land (Maxim) Miley Cyrus Ass-Sex Pics Leaked (Celebjihad) 10 Of History's Unknown Badasses (Mademan) Either Jerry Millen Is Stupid, Or He Thinks You Are (Cagepotato) 15 Movies That Can Also Be Watched Backwards (Unreality) Mudflat Olympics In Germany Gets Dirty (Asylum) Playboy Really, Really, Really Wants Lohan To Pose Nude (Moondogsports) Mickey Turned To Prostitution After Marvel Joined The Team (Atomfilms)
Ever wonder nowadays whether the next commercial jet you fly on is going to get hijacked? If you have anxiety issues like me, this is the part where you turn your head, look out the window and gruffly whisper, "Every damn day…" Well, there's a show for people like us, or people who like being prepared. It's called "Surviving Disaster," and Season 2 premieres tonight on Spike @ 10pm ET/PT. Check out the clip below, where Navy SEAL/badass host Cade Courtley teaches us how to hog tie an airplane hijacker. How to hog tie a terrorist. – Watch more Funny Videos Who is this Courtley guy? He's like your own personal cheerleader for urban survival. He's like Bear Grylls, but useful. Face it; you're never going to get lost on a mountain. You're more likely to die from choking on a glazed donut. Or a bank heist gone awry. And guess what? Courtley covers bank heists this season. And earthquakes, and home invasions, fire, mall shootings, hurricanes and effin' nuclear attacks. And nuclear attacks are just like the world's giant glazed donuts. Silent. Deadly. And served by a Korean.
In Carriers, coming out this Friday, Emily VanCamp plays one of four friends trying to outrun the end of the world and each other. Apparently someone even as cute as her is still susceptable to the awful viral pandemic threatening to destroy the human race. It's amazing how quickly movies get made these days. Swine flu just hit the scene and it already has a film coming out about it starring Emily VanCamp. Let's all hope its ego inflates so rapidly that it implodes and we can enjoy this coming winter instead of worrying about possible death. A word from Emily: "Getting naked is sort of taboo in America, and I think that's something we need to get over." Yeah, great, because being nude isn't a good way to catch a virus, Emily. Pffff. Whatever. I'm just going to look at all the pics of you after the jump now.