Economic hard times haven't only hurt 85% of everyone you know, forcing them move back with their parents and job hunt to no avail for 14 straight months. No. The deflation has also taken its toll on cocksure British spies who get laid pretty much constantly and introduce themselves in needlessly redundant ways. The cash-strapped MGM has announced that development on Bond 23 has been halted indefinitely.Producers Michael G. Wilson and Barbara Broccoli have issued this statement:Due to the continuing uncertainty surrounding the future of MGM and the failure to close a sale of the studio, we have suspended development on ‘Bond 23′ indefinitely. We do not know when development will resume and do not have a date for the release of ‘Bond 23.’That sucks. I hate it when a film franchise isn't afforded the opportunity to be sequeled into oblivion to the point where the plots and villians all melt together into one homogenized, exploding blur. Stories like this really need to spread their wings, y'know? And has no one taken into consideration the feelings of the poor TBS Superstation? Now they'll likely never get to celebrate '23 Days of Bond' properly. (Coming Soon)
Hey guys, women. Am I right? From Variety:Summit Entertainment has acquired film and TV rights to the "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" franchise based on the book series written by John Gray.Erik Feig, Summit's President of Production, stated, "'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' is not just the title of a book, or what we know will become an amazing film and TV franchise – it is a pop cultural mainstay and comically, sadly, romantically, all too often still true these many years after first being published. We are thrilled to have the opportunity to work on a franchise whose name everyone knows and whose reality everyone lives!"And we're even more thrilled to pull a Valentine's Day/He's Just Not That Into You/Love, Actually by cramming a bunch of rich, pretty people into a movie together. I don't think Jessica Alba has hooked up with Bradley Cooper in a movie yet. And with that forehead and underbite of hers, Drew Barrymore certainly looks like she could be from another planet.
UPDATE: The final figures are in and Kick-Ass took the top spot with $19,828,687. How to Train Your Dragon came in at number two with $19,633,320. Still read the post though. I spent at least twenty minutes on it.Kick-Ass has some explaining to do after coming on hot and then underperforming in the weekend box-office sack. Sucks to be you, bro! Haha. That NEVER happens to me. Shut up. My eyes always well during allergy season.But did it really lose?Speculation was that it would earn at least $30 million so if you wanna be a dick about it, yes. As of today it holds the number two spot behind How to Train Your Dragon (final calculations come in tomorrow), trailing by $250k. But bear in mind that Dragon is a 3D movie for children. Kids movies always pack them in and when you factor in the higher cost of 3D tickets, it's no surprise that it raked in more cash. Adjust for that info, and the R-rated, non-3D Kick-Ass probably brought in a larger audience. I'd calculate all this info myself but the F12 button is all the way over there and it's time to go eat a sandwich. So in conclusion, just sayin'. (BoxOfficeMojo)
And please, keep the fat, bearded auditions to a minimum. Last week we told you that Todd Phillips is working on a raunchy, low budget comedy deemed Project X, which Joel Silver will co-produce and Nima Nourizadeh will direct. Unlike most outlandish secret projects in Hollywood, this one is actually panning out, as Phillips has given it a violent shove into the casting phase.People with faces and voices and dreams and no shame can audition for a role in the 12 million dollar budget comedy at projectxopencall.com. You need to be at least 18 years of age and look like you're actually 18, so Nic Cage need not fire up his Handycam. Your options for the video audition are as follows:Tell us your most embarrassing story.Tell us your craziest party story.Tell us about the riskiest or most daring thing you've ever done.If you wanted to impress someone at a club, show us how you would dance.Show us the one thing that you do that makes your friends laugh.How about all five at once, casting agents? I've kept a sh*tting myself yarn in my back pocket for years that's gonna bowl you over. Hollywood stardom, here I come! (Deadline)
Beastly is a retelling of Beauty and the Beast by way of Gossip Girl. Mary-Kate Olsen plays a witch who curses a rich, popular, good-looking classmate to look all gross and veiny — a reflection of the dick he is on the inside. He's then banished to Brooklyn where the rest of the minorities uglies live. In order to break the curse, he has to find someone, who despite his penile appearance, will sext him with naked pictures of herself. Enter Vanessa Hudgens.Find out what really matters underneath after the jump.
You asked for it! Wait, you didn't ask for it? Well than the Japanese assumed you wanted it! The Big Tits Zombie 3D trailer is here, and it delivers on all the words in the aptly named title. You can even rearrange the words and the title would still apply. There are big 3D tits zombie, zombie big tits 3D, and 3D tits big zombie. The trailer is protected by an age gate due to some chainsaw carnage, but unfortunately you don't see any of the promised oversized mammaries (ripe or rotten). The film is about a group of strippers fighting a band of zombies, and some of the zombies play ping pong. Quit trying to stir up sh*t, strippers. Just grab a paddle and chillax. Check out the trailer below.
I was surprised when Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse trailer Machete was given the big screen treatment, because Rodriguez is known to just say things. So color me super-secret-double-omega-very surprised at the news Rutger Hauer is to star in a feature length version of Hobo With a Shotgun. In 2007, SXSW held a contest which invited filmmakers to make cheap crap to go along with Grindhouse. Hobo With a Shotgun was by far the best of the bunch and Jason Eisener's fake trailer was attached to Canadian prints of the film. Filming on the feature version begins tomorrow with Rutger starring as the titular hobo. That's great casting as Hauer is no stranger to doling out justice or looking kinda like a hobo. Though Busey. Busey would have been a casting coup. (AICN) Check out the original Hobo trailer after the jump…
If movies and television have taught us anything, it's that our girlfriends will be immediately railed by cheesy Eurotrash douche-wads moments after we break up with them. That's just science. You can't fight it.Last night's hilarious SNL Digital Short takes aim at this trope by having Andy Samberg don the flaxen tresses of Viggo the Carpathian and ruin host Ryan Phillipe's life. One bowl of cereal at a time.
Let's get this barbeque f*ckin' started. This Labor Day, make room for Machete amongst your ice cold beers and charred hot dogs. The Robert Rodriguez produced film based off the trailer from Grindhouse will hit theaters September 3. Machete stars Danny Trejo as a blade-wielding Mexican ex-Federale who is double-crossed by a crooked politician. If for some loco reason blade-wielding Mexican's aren't your cup of horchata, keep in mind that Jessica Alba is playing twins in the film. Yes, that's right, Rodriguez DOES listen to your prayers at night, and he has answered them. Who else did you think you were appealing to? (Variety)
Say's who?Here are your weekend links. 10 Nerdiest Superheroes (Moviefone)Jesus Has a Big Penis (Asylum)Kim Kardashian Doesn't Get Why We Like Her Ass (PopEater)25 Real Life Superheroes (HolyTaco)Courtney Love Weighs In on Cobain Role (FilmDrunk)Classy Gay Stormtrooper is Not Threatened by You (Unreality)Phillies Fan Makes a Great Grab (TotalProSports)25 Awesome Killer Robots (Maxim)Ben Fowlkes: A Remembrance (CagePotato)Rachel Bilson Flaunts It by the Pool (CelebJihad)Stoned Dogs (Smosh)Nic Cage Career Assessment (Pajiba)Nick Kroll & Donald Glover Drop Knowledge (Atom)6 Favorite Healthy Beers (MadeMan)Attendence Decline Stumps NASCAR (AllLeftTurns)
The man profiled in the highly-amusing video above is Bill Anthony Jakob, a security guard who rolled into a small Missouri town and passed himself off as a Federal Agent by quoting Beverly Hills Cop 2 and flashing a badge purchased on the Internet. Jakob went on to arrest twenty meth dealers and significantly clean up town. Naturally, his story will now be made into a movie.Deadline reports that Curtis Hanson and Iron Man 2 actor-turned-writer Clark Gregg are in talks to bring The Man With the World's Biggest Balls (working title) to the screen. Not much is known yet about the tone of the film but it's expected to be a drama with comedic elements. Think more along the lines of The Informant and less along those of Martin Lawrence's Blue Streak or National Security or any other films in his "cops who are not" series. I mean, really. Would you seriously let this pizza-brandishing maniac into your police station?
Cruise wouldn't pay ten bucks for a Boston Market sandwich. If you thrive on non-stop explosions, car chases, and witty sarcasm then you're gonna have one helluva time watching this new international trailer for Mr. & Mrs. Smith Two a.k.a. Killers a.k.a Knight & Day. Hey, I enjoy a fun ride just as much as the next John reclined in the driver's seat of his Corolla, but there's a point when action set-pieces become more exhausting than five minutes of coitus. Having said that, no one does Jerry Maguire like Tom Cruise, and I still get tickled by his restrained fits of rage and amorphous torso. Seriously, what kind of crunches give you a three pack? Introduce some symmetry to your abs, Cruise. Check out the trailer after the jump. Knight & Day crashes into theaters June 25, 2010.
Rock and Spade watching playback. Last summer, Adam Sandler decided he wanted to take a New England vacation with his buddies and stare at Salma Hayek's cans all day. A film crew tagged along and now we have Grown Ups. The film assumes the very believable premise of five guys who were childhood friends but haven't seen one another since they were twelve years old, so they decide to get to know one another again thirty years later. This isn't very different from the teaser we already saw. They just made more room for pee jokes. The movie opens June 25th and stars SNL's cast circa 1992 with the notable busty additions of Salma and Kevin James. Watch Kevin James make a sissy after the jump.
Death at a Funeral R, 93m., 2010Cast: Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Zoe Saldana, James Marsden, Columbus Short, Regina King, Keith David, Peter Dinkaledge with Loretta Devine, Luke Wilson, Tracy Morgan…
"Thank you for coming to our pudding party."Continuing on his path of selecting films with terrible titles, Samuel L. Jackson has signed on to star in Deathgames, opposite Twilight and Elm Street's Kellan Lutz.Former visual effects supervisor Jonah Loop, will make his directorial debut with the modern gladiator film. In the story, Lutz is kidnapped and forced to battle in the arena for the entertainment of online spectators. Jackson runs the games, overseeing them from his lair with the help of twin ladies "who see to his every desire." Just like Steven Seagal. If Seagal were computer-literate.(THR)
Darren Aronofsky and his affianced are hellbent on giving America the frownies.The hot spec script Jackie, about the immediate days following President Kennedy’s assassination, is getting the big screen treatment with Academy-Award winning actress Rachel Weisz attached to play the late first lady. Weisz’s fiancee, director Darren Aronofsky (The Wrestler), will direct and produce, along with his producing partner Scott Franklin and their Protozoa Pictures film company. Jackie catalogs the four days between JFK’s assassination and his burial, showing the beloved Jackie at both her most vulnerable and her most graceful. No deal is in place yet but it's expected to be soon. I can hear the manipulative music swelling and see the interspersment of actual funeral footage now. But I will not cry dammit. I will not. I just plan on thinking about something else.Thanks, Jackee. (EW)
Patricia Manterola sings, dances, acts, models, and radiates hotness. She has starred in the Mexican versions of "Charlie's Angels" and "Ugly Betty," and in HBO's "Arliss," getting much props for looking directly at Robert Wuhl. A word from Patricia: "I'd never experienced the production process."OMG, are you for reals?! It's like the beeeeeeeeeest process. We'll discuss over an English muffin.Check out more of Patricia the renaissance woman after the jump.
French Actress Astrid Berges-Frisby has been cast as Syrena The Hot Mermaid (not official title) in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. Producer Jerry Bruckheimer and director Rob Marshall pretended they saw her foreign films La Fille du Puisatier and La Premiere Etoile and decided to give the young actress a shot in the ring with Johnny Depp. Also, she has real boobies.Ian McShane also stars in the fourth Pirates installment as the infamous Blackbeard, with Penelope Cruz playing his daughter. Do Spainiards and the French get along? Can we cause a rift in the countries' relationship? I'm all for world peace, but I would absolutely loooooove some on-set cat fight pics. (/Film)
Best known for playing the coolest, most athletic guy in school, Zac Efron is doing what most former big men on campus do — driving a taxi and getting into cocaine. He's also making a movie about it.Efron is attached to star in and produce a remake of “Snabba cash,” the hot Swedish property that was the subject of a heavy Hollywood bidding war and has just found a home with Warner Bros.“Snabba” is based on a novel by Jens Lapidus and was a major hit in its home country. The thriller followed three interconnected storylines involving drugs and organized crime, with the main character a young financial wizard who hopes to strike it rich quickly by becoming a runner for a coke dealer.This news proves that no one can outrun their destiny. Dogs will always chase cats and child actors will always get involved with cocaine dealers. It's Pheonix's Law. (THR)
A sequel is a tricky, tricky mistress. Some films produce a sequel when no one in the general public actually wants a sequel, like Cheaper by the Dozen, Big Mama’s House, and all those Tim Allen Christmas movies. Other films roll out a sequel years later when you never expected them to. Flicks like Tron: Legacy, Wall Street 2, and Evening Star (the Terms of Endearment sequel for all you pansies out there). And yet, there are countless other movies that really need a sequel, but never get any second installment love. I decided to toss out a few movies that need to have a second outing – and give my thoughts on plot and casting while I'm at it. Point Break
The new teaser poster for The Sorcerer's Apprentice could be many things.It could be an image captured by an intrepid papparazzo who snuck up to a window at Nicolas Cage's house, only to find the star glaring back out at him.Two years after completing work on Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call, New Orleans, Nicolas Cage can't put down the pipe.He's borrowing jewelry from his son now.This is early concept art for his team-up with Bone Thugs n Harmony.Nicolas Cage will appear in any movie. All you have to do is ask.(via ComingSoon)
If those owls are made of poop then this is an accurate graphic.What the Internet sees.Chris Rock Eulogizes Tracy Morgan (Moviefone)10 Things You Should Never Say to a Call Girl (Asylum)Mel Gibson Leaving His Baby Mama (PopEater)25 Athlete Mugshots (HolyTaco)Bizarrely Metrosexual Shrek Photoshoot (FilmDrunk)8 Trippy Scenes in Non-Trippy Movies (Unreality)Just a Monkey Doing Non-Stop Pushups (TotalProSports)Hot Pics of Arianny Celeste (Maxim)Chael Sonnen Weighs in on Anderson Sllva (CagePotato)Kim Kardashian Flashes Her Useless Ass (CelebJihad)Live Bomb Removed from Guy's Head (Smosh)'Green Hornet' Will Be One Giant Ball of Suck (Pajiba)How to Save Some Cash for the Tax Man (Atom)7 Signs You're the Jerk in the Room (MadeMan)Kyle Goes to Walley World (AllLeftTurns)
Well, now I look like a liar again. Awesome. Previous reports that Alice Eve was the front-runner to play Peggy Carter in Captain America were proved bunk today. The role will officially go to Hayley Atwell, a young British actress best known for her appearance in The Duchess and for accepting Marvel's small payday.Personally, I blame Captain America himself for all of the back and forth. His hesitancy to just hurry up and just pick a girlfriend lead to this. If he had followed my advice and agreed to have his own "Bachelor"-esque reality show, this would have been much easier on everyone.And we would have got to see Emily Blunt in a bikini. (THR)
Amber Heard has experience playing the "naughty hot chick" and the "nice hot chick." She starred in All The Boys Love Mandy Lane," which no one had a chance to see, and The Informers, which is worse than bamboo chutes in the peehole.A word from Amber: "I love to cook. When I'm away I miss my pots and pans and my spices."Then giiiiit in the kitchen, woman! Sorry, I had to take that one. Feel free to flick off the screen.More spicy pics of Amber after the jump.
Well, whoop-tee-doo!!! This new clip from A Nightmare On Elm Street gives us a better look at the "micro-naps" introduced in the previous trailer. They occur when the insomniac has been awake for 70 hours, forcing them to dream without falling asleep. I gotta say the device is used to nice effect here, fading between the drug store and the boiler room as Freddy Krueger menaces his victim. Speaking of Krueger, we get a pretty good look at him too. But enough with the glove already. Always scraping the blades against pipes or clanking them together. We get it, dude. You're the "glove guy." It's your thing. Such a show-off with your fancy toys. And stop playing with your iPad when I'm trying to talk to you! (Yahoo)Don't sleep on this clip after the jump…
Kick-AssR, 118m., 2010Cast: Aaron Johnson, Chloe Mortez, Christopher Mitz-Plasse, Mark Strong, and Nicolas CageDirected by Matthew VaughnScreenplay by Jane Goldman and Matthew Vaughn based upon the Mark Millar comic Kick-Ass…
You may or may not know the story of Colton Harris-Moore, the teenaged burglar who has remained at large for the last two years, having stolen (and crashed) several vehicles, boats, and aircrafts in that time. He was once witnessed fleeing a burgled home in western Washington State with no shoes, leading to the nickname "the Barefoot Bandit." He's also known as "the Teen Houdini," "the Boy Who Could Fly," and "the Shoeless Asshole." (That last one was coined by me.)Taking Flight: The Hunt for a Young Outlaw is a book proposal about Harris-Moore's insane legend to which David Gordon Green and his Rough House Pictures brosefs Danny McBride and Jody Hill now own the film rights. And understandably so. Pooping outdoors. Eating garbage. Stealing pies from window sills. Constantly on the run from Ranger Smith. This kid is living the life!! (Variety)
Usually in movies when someone unexpected or undesired arrives on the scene one or more characters utter the words "We've got company!!!" It doesn't happen as often as a mirror scare, but it's cliché enough for a montage.We've got links!!!'Iron Man 2' Inspired By 'Rocky III'? (Moviefone)When Twitter Drinks too Much Vodka (Asylum)Michael J. Fox Chats About New Book (PopEater)Heidi Montag Plastic Surgery Diagram (HolyTaco)Jake Gyllenhaal to Play Joe Namath (FilmDrunk)Shaq Has Gone Marbury Crazy (TotalProSports)5 Comedy Sequels That Could Work (Unreality)Gray Maynard Still Patiently Waiting His Turn (CagePotato)Tiger Woods to Sex Phil Mickelson's Wife (CelebJihad)Steven Seagal and His Dirty Secrets (Smosh)5 Awesome Monster Face-Off Movie Trailers (Pajiba)The Perfect 'Entourage' Parody (Atom)Places to Have Sex Before You Die (MadeMan)Kahne to Hendrick (AllLeftTurns)8 Sexual Acts All Men Should Conquer (RegretfulMorning)
I assumed the announcement that Joss Whedon was on the the shortlist to direct Marvel and Disney's big ol' Avengers movie/super-hero dogpile was an Internet hoax. But today there are reports that the King of the Nerds is in final negotiations for the job. One question though. Really?No offense to Whedon. I'm a fan. I'm sure he'll deliver. It's just that I wouldn't expect Marvel to hand their prized pig to a guy who's only directed one feature, although Serenity was really enjoyable. Then there's the fact that he'll have to cast Eliza Dushku. I don't see the fans embracing a Wasp born and raised in Worcester, Massachusetts. (Deadline)
And she thought cyborgs were tough to kill…