Director: Hoyt YeatmanCast: Nicholas Cage (voice), Zach Galifianakis, Sam Rockwell (voice), Penelope Crux (voice), Tracy Morgan (voice), Jon Favreau (voice), Will Arnett, Steve Buscemi, Bill NighyStudio: DisneySynopsis: A specially trained squad of guinea pigs is dispatched to stop a diabolical billionaire, who plans to taking over the world with household appliances.
Gillian Leigh Is Uber Good Looking (Gorillamask)5 Terribly Awesome Examples Of Porn Acting (Holytaco)Bruno Terrorist Threatens To Sue (Filmdrunk)The 10 Funniest Workplace Training Videos Of All Time (Manofest)Finally: A Portable Microwave (Walyou)Pajiba's Final Thoughts On Michael Jackson (Pajiba)9 Toys That Prepare Children For A Life Of Menial Labor (Cracked)
According to Twitch, who premiered the clip above, Treevenge is follow-up short film from the creative team that produced & directed Hobo with a Shotgun. While this sadly has no hobos or shotguns, it's nonetheless full of gore – the kind of gore that Al Gore probably had in mind every time he eked out a smile during his Inconvenient Truth presentation. More specifically, Treevenge is about trees getting their revenge on humans for chopping them down (hence the clever portmanteau in the film's title). Next time you wipe your ass with toilet paper, take a second to think about the tree that had to die so you don't get sh*t all over your pants, you savage! That's all they ask.Here are Today's Top Links! Sabrina Jane Is Hot (Gorillamask) 7 Possibilities For The Next Awesome "Wolf T-Shirt" (Holytaco) Natalie Portman Is In Thor (Filmdrunk) Star Wars: Attack Of The Electone (Manofest) How Come No One Thought Of A Pocket Urinal Before? (Walyou) First Look At Wes Anderson's Fantastic Mr. Fox (Pajiba) 6 'Facts' About Historical Figures (That Their Enemies Made Up) (Cracked) Black Metal Idol–Awkward In Any Language (Sickpigs) The Home Run Derby Drinking Game (Coedmagazine) Jon Gosselin's New Girlfriend (Celebjihad) Manly Ways To Be A Feminist (Mademan) Rampage Jackson And Rashad Evans Get Into It At UFC 100 (Cagepotato) 10 Funny Deleted Scenes From Classic Comedies (Unreality) Swedish People Invent Floating Sauna, But Does Anyone Care? (Asylum) Tony Romo Dumps Jessica Simpson; Cowboys Fans Breathe Sigh Of Relief (Bustedcoverage) Emmanuel Lewis Pictures That Need To Be Commented On (Uncoached) Marijuana In Your Life: A Time Line (Regretfulmorning) The 10 Most Sexually Active Cities In America (Bachelorguy) Mary Louise Parker Poses In Little To No Clothing (Moondogsports) Cops Make MLB Player Matt Bush Cry (Nothingtoxic) Inventions For The Insane (Atomfilms) Paramount Adapting Max Steel (Filmofilia)
Director: Jason EisenerSynopsis: Treevenge is a short film detailing the experiences and horrifying reality of the lives of Christmas trees. Clearly, for trees, Christmas isn’t the exciting “peace on earth” that is experienced by most. After being hacked down, and shipped away from their homes, they quickly become strung up, screwed into an upright position for all to see, exposed in a humiliation of garish decorations. But this Christmas will be different, this Christmas the trees have had enough, this Christmas the trees will fight back. Treevenge could be a short film about the end of days for Christmas trees, or perhaps, the end of humanity?
Throughout the ages, enchanting babes with supernatural powers have come and gone, but a few exceptional ones have stuck out in our memory. This list is a tribute to fifteen of Screen Junkies' favorite magical, sexy ladies and the spells they put on us. 15. Cheras Alexandra Medford in The Witches of Eastwick (1987)Cher may be a hell of a singer, if not always the best actress, but in this 80’s magical movie she got to show off her hots, received a significantly larger role than she normally did in her films, and showed what a sexy magical babe she could be. That's her on the left of the Eastwick poster if you didn't already know.
Like many Watchmen fans, I have mixed feelings about its big screen adaptation. I appreciate it for what it is. The attention to aesthetic detail is certainly amazing and the sheer spectacle of it all is on a larger scale than any of its comic book film predecessors. But it just seems to lack the heart and fear that were so present in the book partly because the supporting characters are essentially non-characters. I held out the hope that the Director's Cut would capture more of the magic from the illustrated page. And it looks like I was right! Here is a deleted scene where the original Nite Owl attempts to fend off paranoid attackers in his home. Things don't pan out very well for the old timer but it is a beautifully put-together scene nonetheless and one that definitely should have been included in the theatrical run. You can pick up the Director's Cut on DVD and Blu Ray on July 21st. Or you can wait a few months for the 5-disc Ultimate Edition. (via Latino Review) Please avail yourselves to our morning links… Ryan Reynolds will eventually be in every comic book movie. (The Playlist) With Moneyball out, Soderbergh wants to make The Limey Too. (Cinema Blend) Matt Damon is charitable. (TV Guide) Is Stephen Chow off Green Hornet? (/Film) Wolf Man reshoots to include a far better fight scene. (First Showing)
Boy oh boy! We've seen Hitler get mad before, but Michael Jackson passing on the eve of the massive concert he was to play for the Hitler's birthday reeeally pisses the Führer off to no end.Here are some links that Hitler wouldn't feel anything about because he's dead. Erica Underwood Is Very Attractive (Gorillamask) Friday's Random Graph Extravaganza (Holytaco) Aaron Sorkin Rewrites Brad Pitt's Moneyball (Filmdrunk) Naughty News Bloopers Montage (Manofest) A Remote-Controlled Water Cannon Sounds Pretty Awesome (Walyou) The 10 Most Spectacularly Mediocre Films Of The Past Decade (Pajiba) The 6 Most Baffling Superheroes From Around The World (Cracked) Funniest Movie Death Scenes (Sickpigs) 105 Counts Of Statue-tory Rape (Coedmagazine) 15 Little-Known Facts About Gary Busey (Celebjihad) The Art Of The Quickie (Mademan) Brock Lesnar Hates Cheap Chairs (Cagepotato) 5 Awesome Deleted Scenes From Dramatic Movies (Unreality) New Words Added To Miriam-Webster, Also Some Suggestions (Asylum) Heather Nichols, AKA "Girl Humped By Rampage Jackson" (Bustedcoverage) Some Of The Nastiest Canned Foods From Around The World (Uncoached) Awesome Swimming Pool Dunks? … Alright, They're Pretty Cool (Regretfulmorning) Delicious Barbeque Recipies, Minus The Coronaries (Bachelorguy) Poor Economy Making High Schoolers Pay To Play Sports (Moondogsports) Kid Gets Knocked Out After A Backyard Boxing Match (Nothingtoxic) Inappropriate Workplace: Bored And Room (Atomfilms) New Clip From Harry Potter 6 (Filmofilia)
JENNIFERS BODY SFW Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersOn Monday, we posted ShockTilYouDrop's Red Band trailer for Jennifer's Body, and today, the theatrical trailer was released online. This one's noticeably tamer and free of Diablo Cody's trademark "Diablogue" like the soon-to-be-meme, "Smells like Thai food in here. Were you guys f**king?" We're guessing if Fox had allowed a permutation of that line in thisSFW version, it would go something like, "Smells like Thai food in here. Were you guys cooking Thai food?Here are today's top links that make you feel like you do while you're smelling Thai Food:Amanda Pogrell In Scant Clothing (Gorillamask) A Brief History Of Ruined Photos And Photo Bombs (Holytaco) Ricky Gervais Makes Fun Of Ralph Fiennes (Filmdrunk) 20 Freakishly Large Animals (Manofest) A Totally Awesome R2D2 Trashcan (Walyou) Classic Trailer Appreciation: Dodgeball (Pajiba) 7 Classic Star Wars Characters That Totally Dropped The Ball (Cracked) I Guess Creepy Dudes Like Ruining Photos In Japan (Sickpigs) What To Do If You Win The Lottery (Coedmagazine) Miley Cyrus Is Trying To Get You Arrested (Celebjihad) Worst Cars For Picking Up Chicks (Mademan) A Guide To Helping You Win Money From UFC 100 (Cagepotato) What Celebrities Would Look Like If They Moved To Oklaholma (Unreality) 3 Videogame Movies Hollywood Is Going To Eff Up (Asylum) Erin Andrews Takes Ball Off Chin (Bustedcoverage) 15 Awesome Pictures Of A Very Young Beatles Group (Uncoached) Elevator Episode: "Scars" (Elevator) 5 Landmarks In The Evolution Of Animated Porn (Regretfulmorning) Grilly Goat Proves To Be Useful Grilling Accessory (Bachelorguy) Photos Of Denise Milani Never Get Old (Moondogsports)
Friday marks the release of two "major" films, and both of them star celebrities who have lusted after Milo Ventimiglia. I Love You, Beth Cooper tells the story of an unrequited high school crush. Brüno tells the story of… well, you’ve seen Borat right? It's like that, but with different accents and a lot more butt sex jokes. But here we are in the middle of July with not a single cat fight. Even Mariah Carey is playing nice with Janet Jackson! So, we went ahead and charted out the Diva War, blow by blow, to determine who'll be box office champion of the weekend! Actually, it's pretty obvious Brüno's gonna sweep the floor with Hayden's alabaster locks, but let's give each side a fair shake.Here you are, the scientific breakdown of each person’s worth (sums it up well):
In the trailer for I Love You, Beth Cooper, someone whispers about the arrival of "The Trinity." We've already covered one third of these lovely ladies, Lauren London, and we have faith that you can find photos of Hayden Panettiere on your own. That leaves us with Lauren Storm, the final piece of the puzzle. She's mostly done TV up to this point, with roles on "Malcom In The Middle," "24," and "Flight 29 Down," but this could prove to be her breakthrough into mainstream movies. At least we hope so. She also is owner of the funniest IMDB trivia section ever, which simply reads: "Jewish."A word from Lauren: "I don't watch a whole lot of TV, but when I have time I watch a lot of HBO. I think they have really good quality television. And I think they have really well made products."While Lauren is angling to get a job on an HBO show, you can check out hot photos of her. After the jump, of course!
You remember the little girl from Remember The Titans? Yes you do. Don't you sit there and lie to me. You know damn well you watched that movie and said to yourself, "That girl is gonna be hot someday." Then you said, "Is that weird of me to say that? Does that make me a pedophile?" And the answer is," Don't look now, but Chris Hansen is standing behind you."Regardless of your deviance, we can all agree that Hayden grew up from this…All the way into this very attractive and very legal woman. In honor of Miss Panettiere starring in I Love You, Beth Cooper this Friday, let's follow her career path starting with her breakout role and see how Hayden's… ahem… developed. "HEROES"
Seems we have a hankerin' for purée de ballsack today, because this 8-minute clip from The Hurt Locker popped up on Hulu not too long ago and we couldn't resist posting it. If you haven't read our review of the film – currently in limited release – AND you enjoy verbal fellation, bone up here. The above opening scene sets the anything-goes tone but doesn't quite do the theatrical experience justice. Word to the wise, should you decide to see The Hurt Locker at the cinema, you'll need to make sure your underpants have their own pocket organizer so they can pencil in a reminder about their inevitable meeting with a Mr. Poop Fromyourbutt. He took several meetings with various pairs of undergarments in my screening.
DISTRICT 9 Official Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThe latest full-length trailer for District 9 has just debuted and to put it simply, "Gagagagooooooo!" *slaps face with both hands repeatedly, does double take with eyes wide like saucers* Arresting visuals? Check. Compelling plot? Double check! Mech suits that might rival Avatar? I'm not sacrilegious. It's like they put Signs, Iron Man, and Slumdog Millionaire into a blender but instead of setting to "Blend" they went straight to "Purée Your Balls Awesome." And now my balls are but a frothy soup. So much for having children, I guess. Is it wrong that I'm totally okay with this?HERE ARE TODAY'S LINKS THAT WILL AT LEAST JULIENNE YOUR BALLS!Rachel Mestonen Is Hot (Gorillamask) Corey Feldman's Doodles At Michael Jackson's Memorial Service (Holytaco) Apparently, There Is Going To Be A MacGruber Movie (Filmdrunk) The 50 Most Bizarre Google Earth Images (Manofest) Finally – A Battleship Drinking Game! (Walyou) Words Of Wisdom From 80s Comedies (Pajiba) 6 Badass Tricks You Can Do With Fire… That Could Kill You (Cracked) 70s-Style 2012 Trailer? Hell Yes. (Sickpigs) "We Are The World," Except Done By Japanese People (Coedmagazine) Madonna Looks Strong… Scarily Strong… (Celebjihad) 8 Signs I Might Give It Up Tonight (Mademan) Does Having A Day Job Make You A Tough Fighter? (Cagepotato) 20 Badass Video Game Cosplay Costumes (Unreality) 8 Women-Approved Tips From Pickup Bootcamp (Asylum) We Can Only Hope Charles Furbush Makes It To The Majors (Bustedcoverage) The Best Slim Jim Commercials Of All Time (Uncoached) Cuddle Parties Sound Really Cool (Regretfulmorning) Manliness Of Yesteryear: The Duel (Bachelorguy) Teenage Boy Tries To Sell Nude Photos Of His Mom… Very Weird (Moondogsports) Gangsters Knock A Dude Out, Get Their Asses Kicked (Nothingtoxic) Pick Your Favorite Star Wars Fan Film (Atomfilms) Harry Potter 6 Ticket Sales Outpace Transformers 2, Will Most Likely Be Better Film (Filmofilia)
Bruno comes out this Friday, which inevitably means that a bunch of real people are going to look very dumb to the general movie-going public that day as well. Socialite/model Brittny Gastineau is one of the many in this group. She assists Bruno in his attempt to infiltrate American television, to the expected hilarious result. While she manages to look stupid in amazingly offensive ways (you'll understand when you see the movie), she also maintains an incredibly high hotness quotient, thereby putting her lack of intelligence or social tact in the "who gives a sh*t?" category for most of the males watching her in the flick.A Word From Brittny (Via Twitter): "Doing laser hair removal at dr frank ryans office and boyy does it HURT!!! I'm such a baby"Eloquent words from Ms. Gastineau. Hopefully her insightful Tweeting will help rebuild her image after the movie… Oh, who are we kidding? She's still hot, and that's all that matters. Speaking of which, check out more smokin' photos of Brittny after the jump!
BIG FAN Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers Robert Siegel made a big splash with critics when he scripted The Wrestler and it looks like he's going to be lauded copiously once again. The trailer for his directorial debut Big Fan has hit the 'Net and it looks like an novel concept. Patton Oswalt stars as a repressed toll-booth worker who gets beat down by his NFL hero. The trailer does a good job of pulling me in. Although I don't need another place to watch an Italian family scream at one another. I get my fix of that with reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond.Get Your Evening Fix Of Hot Girls, Hilarity, and Weird-Ass News With These Links: Carrie Lachance Has A Lot Of Interesting Skimpy Outfits (Gorillamask) The Oldest Bible Seems Very Familiar (Holytaco) Slumdog Millionaire Actor Moves Into A Nice Apartment (Filmdrunk) Like Beer Pong Or Not, This Video Is Amazing (Manofest) Tetris Wall Shelves: For Those Whose Walls Aren't Nerdy Enough (Walyou) The Big Fan Trailer Has Patton Oswalt Playing Serious (Pajiba) The 6 Best Movies Where People Are Hunted For Sport (Cracked) How To Not Be a Douchebag New Yorker In NYC (Coedmagazine) Michael Jackson Buried Beside His Dead Career (Celebjihad) How To Build A Kegerator (Mademan) How not to Pick Up Your Co-Worker (Man in the Box) Rampage Jackson Almost Succeeds In Impregnating Reporter (Cagepotato) Where Are They Now? The Cast Of Predator (Unreality) How To Avoid A Terrible Road Trip Experience (Asylum) Video Proof That Mets Fans Are Tools (Bustedcoverage) Chong Li From Bloodsport: Now 71, Can Still Beat You Up (Uncoached) 12 Items That Shouldn't Be Available Used On Amazon (Regretfulmorning) 5 Tips For Keeping Your Shoes Like New (Bachelorguy) Which MLB Division Leader Will Not Make The Playoffs? (Moondogsports)
Director: Robert D. Siegel Cast: Patton Oswalt, Kevin Corrigan Synopsis: A die-hard New York Giants fan finds himself at difficult crossroads when he is severely beaten by his favorite player. Genre: Drama Release Date: August 28, 2009
Director: Marc Clebanoff Cast: Frank Krueguer, Sarah Thompson, Michael Madsen, David Carradine, Jamie Lynn Synopsis: A detached hitman is hired to kill a terminally ill crime boss and his lover. Things become complicated when he finds that the crime boss' lover is an old flame of his. Genre: Noir Release Date: July 14, 2009
Jamie Lynn plays "The Luscious Brunette" in the new comic book-styled noir Break. I expect that if there are awards for truthfully naming a film's characters, Break will win one on the strength of Jamie Lynn's character name alone. The luscious brunette is probably best known as the 2006 Penthouse Pet of the year. She also has her own site, the aptly named sexyjamie.com where she opens herself up to all of the internet (for a small price). Recently, she has been branching out of what my conservative relatives would call "the smut business" in favor of acting in films such as Break and 2008's Ninja Cheerleaders.A Word From Jamie: "My sexy photos and videos are updated once a week. For only $19.95 a month, recurring every 30 days, you'll have access to my photos and videos."It's a small price for such a luscious brunette. Check out more hot pictures of Jamie after the jump (for free!), and be sure to check out Break, available on DVD July 14th right here!
By Andy Rooney, of CBS's "60 Minutes"My primary care physician has recommended that I find a way to put more exercise into my daily routine. Normally I avoid all forms of physical exertion, but seeing as I’m no spring chicken anymore I decided it might be in my best interest to take him up on his suggestion. I wouldn’t want to die and miss out on this newfangled digital television. (Sometimes it’s hard to convey sarcasm through writing. So let me just tell you last night I almost electrocuted myself walking into the HDTV my son bought me for Christmas. It thought it was a doorway to the beach and I had my metal detector in hand. Turns out I forgot to turn off the Travel Channel.)
The KNOWING & PUSH Blu-Ray Contest Has Ended. @agenttrav and @thyndman4are the winners! Please direct tweet us or hit us up at feedback_at_screenjunkies_dot_com to arrange shipment! CONGRATS!!Summit Entertainment just released two of this year's notable sci-fi flicks on DVD and Blu-Ray, and Screenjunkies has copies of both films (on Blu-Ray, of course, we're not savages). Sure, you could buy Knowing here and Push here, but since free is better than not – even with Amazon's discounts – we're giving away two copies of each film for nuttin' (and nuttin' means we pay the postage, too). Find out how to get the goods after the jump.
THE DECENT: PART 2 Trailer – Watch more MOVIE TRAILERSThe Descent: Part 2 trailer has arrived online and it looks every bit as scary as the original. And, judging by the brief images in the above, the film looks to combine several elements that scare the crap out of me — dark, confined spaces, vicious man-eating creatures and the Paris Hilton sex tape. It's bound to give me nightmares so if you don't mind, I may have to sleep with your mom tonight. If you'll recall, I take two sugar cubes in my morning coffee; please have it ready. Hang on one sec… your mom's requesting two teabags for her… Oh. Wait that last bit wasn't for you.Descend Into The Lowest Common Denominator with Today's Top Web Content! Santana Rose, By Any Other Name, Would Still Be Hot (Gorillamask) What Your Tattoo Really Says About You (Holytaco) Because The World Needs A TJ Hooker Movie (Filmdrunk) Sesame Street vs. Slayer (Manofest) An Awesome Xbox 360 Laptop Mod (Walyou) The 6 Best Films From The First Half Of 2009 (Pajiba) 5 Bizarre Sexual Conditions That Can Ruin Your Life (Cracked) How To Not Make Friends At An Animal Cruelty Protest (Sickpigs) The Megan Fox Sex Soundboard (Coedmagazine) Comparing Angelina Jolie And Megan Fox (Celebjihad) 9 Mistakes You Make While Getting It On (Mademan) Fun In The Offices Of The Dudes Who Run UFC (Cagepotato) A Collection Of Pretty Awesome Celeb Casting Calls (Unreality) Roger Federer Or Tiger Woods? (Asylum) Teacher Sends Sex Tape Home With Kids, Father Objects (Bustedcoverage) The Best Bloodsport Clip That Never Aired (Uncoached) Can't Remember How Trashed You Were On The 4th? Here's a Chart To Help (Regretfulmorning) A Ceiling Fan That Plays Music Is Useful, Right? (Bachelorguy) Will Albert Pujols Get A-Rod Money In 2012? (Moondogsports)More Commentary on Twitters from the Stars done by Some Guy in a Basement (Tweet Boxx) Inept Robbers Take A Dive Out Of A Store Door (Nothingtoxic) How To Be Funny In A Post-Moonwalking And Mighty Putty World (Atomfilms) New Alice In Wonderland Images (Filmofilia)
Director: Jon HarrisCast: Shauna MacDonald, Natalie Jackson Mendoza, Krysten CummingsSynopsis: Unable to plausibly explain to the authorities what happened – or why she's covered in her friends' blood – Sarah is forced back to the subterranean depths to help locate her five missing companions. As the rescue party drives deeper into uncharted caverns, nightmarish visions of the recent past begin to haunt Sarah and she starts to realize the full horror and futility of the mission. Subjected to the suspicion and mistrust of the group and confronted once more by the inbred, feral and savagely ruthless Crawlers, Sarah must draw on all her inner reserves of strength and courage in a desperate final struggle for deliverance and redemption.
The teen comedy I Love You, Beth Cooper comes out this Friday, and while everyone is enamored with the idea of Hayden Panettiere being PG-13 naked in the flick, there happens to be several other beautiful women in the film as part of Beth Cooper's entourage. Lauren London happens to be one of them. You might remember her from the films ATL and Next Day Air, or that one Episode of "Entourage" she was on. She also appears to be the mother of Lil' Wayne's latest child, which has to be worth something. And by something, I mean sh*tloads of child support.A Word From Lauren: "Barbara Streisand has always been an inspiration for me. I admire Jennifer Lopez because she's been against all the odds and she's made such a name for herself and she can put her name on anything and it sells and I admire that about her, but Barbara Streisand and Woody Allen are my favorites."Not every beautiful 24-year-old actress would cite Woody Allen and Barbara Streisand as heroes… That's way more intriguing than a Panettiere pseudo-nude scene. Lauren, you now have our undivided attention.Check out more hot pictures of Lauren after the jump!
CARRIERS Trailer #2 – Watch more Movie Trailers Hey kids! Happy 4th of July Weekend! And you know what that means… Road Trip! Yeah! Hopefully yours has less pandemics than the one above. Of course, if you encounter someone infected with something, just give everyone a slightly panicked, but friendly reminder to roll up their windows, just like Grandpa used to do when he drove through that neighborhood with "those people." Here are Your July 4th Weekend Links: Aylen Alvarez is Ga Ga Ga Good Looking (Gorilla Mask) Steal Johnny Depp's Public Enemies Style Here (Asylum) Homeland Security Prepping for Attack of Brüno Quotes (Film Drunk) 100 – count 'em – 100 SMOKING HOT U.S.A. Bikini Babes (Manofest) Iron Man-inspired Motorcycle Helmet is Bad Ass, Affordable (Walyou) NASCAR Movie Character Hall of Fame (All Left Turns) Guide to "Third Date" Movies Will Actually Help You (Pajiba) 7 Obnoxious A-holes at EVERY Concert. Ready Devil Horns (Cracked) This Sh*t Will Most Definitely Happen at Your July 4th BBQ (Holy Taco) 14 Painfully FUNNY Fireworks FAILs (Coed Mag) Jessica Simpson Goes Bra-less. GULP! (Celeb Jihad) Don "The Intimidator" Frye Makes His Nickname Stick in Public Enemies (Cage Potato) The Hunt for Gollum Fan Film is Better Than You Know, Dammit! (Unreality Mag) 25 More Patriotic Bikini Chicks (Busted Coverage) Kid FAILs at Singing National Anthem (Sick Pigs) The Four Sh*ttiest Franchises in Pro Sports (Bachelor Guy)