All this week, BAYWATCH '09 has given you the goods on all things that go BOOM. Monday was the 10 Best Michael Bay-directed Music Videos… Tuesday was the first ever Michael Bay Explosion Tournament… Well, it wouldn't be a proper Bay-themed week without cleavage. You're welcome. By Thomas Anderson It doesn’t matter how many movies Michael Bay comes out with; you still get the sense that he just might be sitting there behind the camera, sneaking a peek at Megan Fox’s stomach or Scarlet Johansson’s ass (hell, wouldn’t you?). Sometimes you wonder if he cast them simply so he could ogle them from behind the camera and create a few off-camera explosions in his pants, but you’ve got to hand it to the guy: he knows how to populate his worlds with gorgeous bombshells who are strong, independent women who often find the need to remove their clothes to save the world, or maybe just give the hero a little pick-me-up.
M. Night Shyamalan is back…but there's a twist! He's doing a kid's movie. I guess he decided to take a break from "scary" since the scariest part about his most recent films are how not scary they are. The Last Airbender is about an Avatar who has the ability to manipulate elements and bring nations together. Also, according to the trailer, he can blow out a shitload of candles with palm-breath. Call me oldfashioned, but I still prefer farts. Teresa Noreen Looks Hot On The Beach (GorillaMask) More Appropriate Album Covers (HolyTaco) Britney Spears Offered Role In Time-Traveling Holocaust Flick (FilmDrunk) 55 Ridiculous Photos Of Dogs Dressed As Humans (Manofest) Who Doesn't Need A Keyboard Designed To Look Like S'mores? (Walyou) Best Film Performances By Senior Citizens (Pajiba) Scientology's 5 Newest Celebrity Recruits (Cracked) 7 Creepy Asian Toilet Commercials (SickPigs) Weed Decriminalization Bill Proposed To House (CoedMagazine) Examinging Fight! Magazine's Inagural Hall Of Fame Class (CagePotato) 5 Minutes Of Game Footage From E3 Favorite, Uncharted 2 (Unreality) A Superficial Analysis Of The (Hottest) Wimbeldon Women (Asylum) Everyone Needs Some Funny Christopher Walken Swag (MadeMan) Sean Avery, Dude Who Made Fun Of 'Sloppy Seconds,' Now Getting Mark Sanchez' Sloppy Seconds (BustedCoverage) 10 Funny Pictures Of Celebrities As Bruce Lee (Uncoached) 5 Truthful Graduation Cards (RegretfulMorning) Get An Ornate Bowl Of Fire For Your Home (BachelorGuy) Top 10 NBA Draft Busts (MoondogSports)
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VOTING FOR ROUND 1 IS CLOSED, BUT YOU CAN STILL VOTE FOR WHO GOES TO THE BIG BOOM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCHUP!
Director: M. Night ShyamalanCast: Dev Patel, Cliff CurtisSynopsis: The story follows the adventures of Aang, a ten year old successor to a long line of Avatars, who must put his childhood ways aside and stop the Fire Nation from enslaving the Water, Earth and Air nations.
According to Variety, Hollywood is making yet another family film with animals that's sure to rake in millions. The Zookeeper, starring Kevin James and Rosario Dawson, centers on zoo animals trying to teach the keeper their method of dating and mating to help him win back the woman of his dreams. Cher's voicing a giraffe, Jon Favreau a bear, Sly Stallone a lion, and Judd Apatow an elephant. If the film sticks to a realistic portrayal a great deal of the advice is going to involve forceful sexual advances. In the animal kingdom, "no" doesn't mean no. When Mr. Lion is horny he takes what he wants. But surely if Kevin James persists there's going to be a HILARIOUS moment where a woman knees him in the balls.
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS Trailer #2 – Watch more Funny Videos There's a new Inglourious Basterds trailer out today, this time delving a little deeper into what the film's actual plot might be. To be honest though, I still don't really understand what's happening with this movie. My level of enthusiasm for this film comes in waves, starting at a high level when I first heard about the film, then waning when I saw the first teaser, and now just very confused about everything I'm seeing and feeling. It's kind of like the first time you had a wet dream, at this point; you're confused as to how and why it happened, and also why Brad Pitt was wearing a white tux while speaking in a thick Appalachian accent.
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It's no secret that Screen Junkies loves Michael Bay, and to celebrate the release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, we're calling this week BAYWATCH. Every day for the next five days, there will be a new feature dedicated to Michael Bay, the man, the myth, the pyromaniac. Kicking off the week is a look back at Bay's earlier work. Before the Boom (and Bad Boys)… there was the music. Michael Bay made his reputation on making music artists look really frickin' cool based on the aesthetic standards of the day. Bay's work was dramatic. It was gorgeous. And it single-handedly supported Hollywood's "lens mist filter" and silk drapery industries for years.Here are our favorites, in chronological order. Richard Marx's "Angelia" (1989)
Director: Bob GoldthwaitCast: Robin Williams, Tom Kenny, Bruce Hornsby (?!?!?)Synopsis: A comedy about a writer/high school teacher who learns that the things you want most may not be the things that make you happy, and that being lonely is not necessarily the same as being alone.
Above is the new trailer for World's Greatest Dad, directed by none other than comedian Bobcat Goldthwait (forever my favorite Police Academy 'new recruit') and starring Robin Williams as a washed up writer teaching high school English and trying to raise a kid on his own. The trailer makes the movie look pretty promising, with Williams taking the family comedy route he's treaded so many times before but then veering off a cliff and careening into the dark world of vagina jokes. As you can see, metaphors aren't my forté. Dare I say that Robin Williams is back? I dare.
Trailer for 2012 – Watch more Funny VideosRoland Emmerich and Michael Bay should have an explosion war. Both of them get a sick kick out of blowing up monuments, landmarks, and national treasures. In fact, they even blow up the same icons in several different movies. Why not just go back in time and punch Betsey Ross in the kidney while she's sewing the stars and stripes on the American Flag? Or better yet, have the Red Coats crash a tidal wave down on top of her. Maybe Emmerich can work that into a redux of the The Patriot. Until then, we can watch John Cusack and a motley cast of other recognizable faces outrun the end of the world much like the characters do in The Day After Tomorrow and Independence Day.
Today we received this outtake of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert whipping sh*t on each other in between takes of their old show, "Siskel & Ebert At The Movies." I'd date this clip from about 1987, given that they're trying to get through an intro about Robocop. But they don't get through it because Siskel flubs a line. Then Ebert makes fun of Siskel's tongue-tied delivery, and then Siskel unleashes a merciless stream of fat jokes. C'mon Siskel. Fat jokes are a low blow. Then again, so is brain cancer. Good one, God. Hilarious…[Thanks to Screen Junkies reader "James S." for the tip.]Top Links of the Day: Theresa Graziadai IS HOT and Really Likes Washing Old Cars (GorillaMask)The 7 Stages Of First-Time Sex With Someone (HolyTaco)Zombies As Liberal Parable? Really? (FilmDrunk)The 200 Sexiest Female Athletes Of All Time (Manofest)Finally, A Golf Club That You Can Pee Into (Walyou)An Great Interview With The Writer Of The Proposal. We're f**ing serious! (Pajiba)6 Valuable Ways Science Reuses Human Waste (Cracked)14 Awesome Father's Day iPhone Apps (CoedMagazine)A Really Hard Kick To The Head = A Very Quick Knockout (CagePotato)Harsh Reviews Of Legendary Movies (UnrealityMag)Did Sodom Really Exist? (Asylum)Apparently They Show Crowd Fights At Baseball Games On TV In Canada (BustedCoverage)Philadelphians Don't Let Swarms Of Bees Bother Them (Uncoached)8 Ass-Kicking Explosions From Movies (RegretfulMorning)The 5 Most Over The Top Nic Cage Peformances (BachelorGuy)Tony Romo Plans On Stepping Up In 2009 (MoondogSports)What Happens When Someone Doesn't Understand Twitter (Elevator)Women In Lingerie Ride Rollercoasters (NothingToxic)More Big Budget Movies Based On Childhood Toys (AtomFilms)Cinderella, Snow White, and Sleeping Beauty Join Forces? (Filmofilia)
Director: Roland EmmerichCast: John Cusack, Thandie Newton, Woody Harrelson Synopsis: An epic adventure about a global cataclysm that brings an end to the world and tells of the heroic struggle of the survivors
Teen Wolf, the family-friendly cautionary tale from the 80s, could be informing a new generation of pubescents about the perils of hairy palms. Or rather, the totally awesome benefits. According to MovieHole.com, Warner Brothers is currently out to writers to update the 1985 hit starring Alex P. Keaton, a.k.a. The Fox. Apparently the execs aren't certain which way they're going to go tonally. We've already seen the high-concept comedy version, so I say they deliver a dark melodrama. Drugs, sex, violence, and attempted suicide. It'll be like a Bret Easton Ellis novel, but with fur.
By Mike Hammer We love our dad. It’s a shame people have to get old and put in facilities where they can be properly cared for. At 43, we simply felt he just wasn’t pulling his weight…and besides…detox is something NOBODY has to be ashamed of anymore. With dad in isolation and Father’s Day coming up we thought we’d relive some of our most heart-wrencing, tender and sometimes hilarious father/son conversations…from the movies. To be honest our real conversations were kind of creepy. Here are the best from the big screen:
Those two crazy cats are at it again. Tom Cruise and J.J. Abrams have decided to bring Ethan Hunt back for a fourth round of explosions, high-wire acts, and elaborate MacGuffins. According to Variety, Sumner Redstone and Cruise are in the process of mending fences so they can play in the same Paramount sandbox again. It's amazing how the prospect of money heals all wounds. As far as Abrams' involvement, he's not attached to direct this installment of M.I. because he's working on a kickass sequel to his kickass Star Trek reboot. But hopefully soon enough we'll again be hearing Cruise scream "Red light! Green light!" as specks of spittle fly from his mouth.
The trailer for The Stepfather remake (or is it reimagining?) hit the web today, and it sets a tone not unlike other horror/slasher movie trailers. Expect quick cuts and flash frames to raise the tension, and Amber Heard in a bikini to raise, well… The film basically follows the premise of the original except this time the kid is a boy, he has younger siblings, and his soon-to-be stepfather is the guy from Nip/Tick and not the guy from Lost. Oh, and Amber Heard is in a bikini.Today's Top Links: Melissa Rogers At Work And Play (GorillaMask) 8 More Accurate College Mascots (HolyTaco) Adam Sandler In More Fake Movies (FilmDrunk) The 10 Dumbest Moments In Wheel Of Fortune History (Manofest) The Most Badass Toothbrush Travel Case Ever (Walyou) A Bride Of Frankenstein Remake Might Happen (Pajiba) 5 Celebrity Careers Launched By Ethnic Makeovers (Cracked) Guide To The Girls Of Summer '09 (CoedMagazine) Diego Sanchez Talks About Getting A Title Shot (CagePotato) Pixely Awesome Videogame Blankets (UnrealityMag) Obama And Other Dudes Awesome Enough To Kill Flies (Asylum) Tim Tebow Is A Fan Of The Olive Garden (BustedCoverage) 5 Funny Movie Characters Who Are Unintelligible (Uncoached) 8 Inventions From The Year 2019 (RegretfulMorning) Father's Day Gifts: Food And Drink Edition (BachelorGuy) 2009-2010 College Football Bowl Schedule (MoondogSports) Nascar-Themed Summer Blockbusters (AllLeftTurns)
Director: Nelson McCormickCast: Dylan Walsh, Sela Ward, Amber HeardSynopsis: Michael Harding returns home from military school to find his mother happily in love and living with her new boyfriend, David. As the two men get to know each other, Michael becomes more and more suspicious of the man who is always there with a helpful hand. Is he really the man of her dreams or could David be hiding a dark side?
THE HURT LOCKER examines the dangerous duties of three members of the Army’s Explosive Ordinance Disposal (EOD) squad. Bombs are their business, and they know their business extremely well. They have to because each roadside stop could mean their lives. Stars Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, and Brian Geraghty, director Kathryn Bigelow and writer Mark Boal broke down for us how you tackle a movie about an elite unit that goes in when everyone else is running away. It’s as meticulous a task as disarming an IED (That's an Improvised Explosive Device for you civilians).
According to Deadline Hollywood Daily, Michael Bay really pissed off some devoted fans in Seoul. They were waiting in the rain for over two hours for Bay's arrival at the Transformers 2 premiere, and he showed up late with Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox in tow. Rumor has it he didn't even bring a corsage, kept reminiscing about his ex girlfriend, and seemed completely ignorant to the fact that fans had been looking forward to the event for weeks. After the premiere, fans spent the rest of the night sobbing into their pillows and wishing the whole night had never happened. Bay tried to save some face by issuing a formal apology, but that's not going to stop the kids in the cafeterias and cubicles from snickering at the Transformer's fans' misfortune.
George Simmons in "Re-Do" from Justin LongThis clip from a movie inside a movie features Adam Sandler playing George Simmons as Craig the workaholic in the high-concept comedy Re-Do. In an effort to start over, a wizard turns Craig into a baby with an adult head. I don't know who this wizard is but I certainly hope he gets his wizard license revoked for such blatant and inexcusable wizard malpractice. I guess we'll never know since the film isn't really real. And just in case you're interested in purchasing the first season of 'Yo Teach' you can get it at the NBC Store. Today's Top Links:It Seems Erica Underwood Doesn't Like Wearing Her Bikini Top (GorillaMask)Flowchart for Giving a Best Man Speech (HolyTaco)Red Dawn Remake (Sigh) Picks Up Peck and Palicki (FilmDrunk)A Penguin-Shaped Wireless Mouse? Brilliant! (Walyou)Protestors Lobby To Fire David Letterman (Pajiba)Shady Agendas Behind Conspiracy Theories (Cracked)Tennis Star Or Porn Star? (CoedMagazine)Spending Some Time With "The Pitbull" (CagePotato)8-Bit Videogame Quilts (UnrealityMag)Happy 50th Birthday, Ultimate Warrior (BustedCoverage)15 Hot Prime Time Soap Opera Actresses (Uncoached)Mistakes Men Make In The Bedroom (RegretfulMorning)If US Sports Adopted The Transfer Fee System (BachelorGuy)Who's Leaking The Names On The MLB's "104" List? (MoondogSports)People Falling Down With The "Benny Hill" Theme Playing is Funny, Right? (NothingToxic)The Weirdest Japanese Videogames Ever (AtomFilms)Angelina Jolie Coming Back For Wanted 2? (Filmofilia)
WHITEOUT Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Above is the new trailer for Whiteout, starring Kate Beckinsale and Gabriel Macht (The Spirit). The film is based on the Eisner Award-winning graphic novel of the same name written by Greg Rucka (available from Oni Press). Not sure what to think about this yet. At about the 1:30 mark, the trailer totally shifts gears from an action-adventure flick to a murder mystery, when Macht reveals to Beckinsale that "this is the first murder in Antarctica." I think Macht is forgetting the grisly gun down of Polar Bear Face Nelson in the 1920s. There's enough fish in the ocean. No need for bear on bear crime. Just sad, really.
Director: Dominic SenaCast: Kate Beckinsale, Gabriel Macht, Tom Skerritt, Alex O'Loughlin, Columbus ShortSynopsis: U.S. Marshall Carrie Stetko tracks a killer in Antarctica, as the sun is about to set for six months.
People may not be aware that Harold Ramis was the Judd Apatow of the 1980s. In addition to his landmark acting roles in Ghostbusters and Stripes, he penned and directed some of the all-time greatest comedies – National Lampoon’s Vacation and Caddyshack (just to name a couple). Judd Apatow, on the other hand, has had just as much influence on the producing side, and it’s his role there that teams him up with Ramis on the Jack Black and Michael Cera history vehicle Year One (opening Friday).
H2: HALLOWEEN II TV Spot – Watch more Movie Trailers I'm a huge fan of the first Halloween 2. I thought it was just fine and didn't need reinterpreting. So I have nothing to say to you, TV spot for new Halloween 2. Go sit in the corner think about what you did. Today's Top Links: Leslie Spring Is Wearing Very Little (GorillaMask) Michael Bay's Transformers 2 Set Doodles (HolyTaco) There's Going To Be Another Indiana Jones (FilmDrunk) A Look At The New "Burn Me Elmo" Toy (Manofest) Pac-man Lights Make Any Room Smell Nice (Walyou) 10 Of Hollywood's Sexiest Voices (Pajiba) 10 Things That Will Not End Well (Cracked) The Eight People You'll Meet In Your Hometown Bar This Summer (CoedMagazine) A Plethora Of MMA Girls Performing Submissions (CagePotato) The 10 Best Horror Films Of The Past Decade (UnrealityMag) OJ Simpson And Other Celebs Who Incriminated Themselves (Asylum) Lingerie Football Feud: Krystal Gray Vs. Hemi Girl (BustedCoverage) 10 Great Movies Written By John Hughes (Uncoached) The Five Stages Of A Cross Country Road Trip (RegretfulMorning) Father's Day Gift Guide: Sports Edition (BachelorGuy) The Best (Ugliest) Retina-Burning Sports Uniforms (MoondogSports)
Today, JustJared.com posted several images of Russell Crowe on the set of Ridley Scott's new Robin Hood flick. Above, Crowe (playing Robin Hood) drives Scott Grimes (playing Will Scarlet) in a Mule 9010. This is from the scene in which Robin and his Merry Men take a break from stealing from the rich for a round of golf cart polo, set to Kenny Loggins music. Good for team building.See some more pics after the jump.
Nowhere else can you get hard hitting political updates from actor Rainn Wilson and baby penis news in the same, concise and easily digestible format. Say goodnight, Reuters.