Darth Vaders Winter Vacation – Watch more Funny VideosYou'd think a Lord would do better with the ladies. Darth Vader's attempt to bag some tail while on vacation proves fruitless, and quite honestly, uber depressing for someone with such a sweet breathing apparatus. Don't drink and dial, Vader. No one wins at that game. (EgoTV)
Martin Scorsese has been busy casting his adaptation of the children's fantasy tale The Invention of Hugo Cabret. Sacha Baron Cohen and Ben Kingsley are in talks to sign on as a train station investigator and famed silent filmmaker George Méliès respectively. Asa Butterfield (The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas) has been hired to portray the lead character, who lives in the walls of a Paris train station while trying to repair his dead father's robotic invention. Up and comer Chloe Moretz is also signed on for the female lead role of Isabelle. Man, between Kick-Ass and Let Me In, 13-year old Chloe Moretz is soooo hot right now. Like, really really hot. I didn't mean it like that, guys. Oh, come on. *sigh* Alright. I'll go warn my neighbors about me. (Deadline)
Dakota is sacrificed to Hollywood.Dreamworks has been searching for some bright-eyed, innocent young person to fill the role of Hugh Jackman's son in Real Steel, and rascal Dakota Goyo emerged "victorious." He's not to be confused with Dakota Fanning, the states of North and South Dakota, or the Dakota Reach-Around, this thing that Wookie does. From THR:DreamWorks, making its first movie under its deal with Disney, issued a public casting call in early February. It also conducted open auditions in Chicago and New York, looking for someone to play a "street-smart, tough, charming kid with a hard, untrusting outer shell which hides a warm enthusiastic spirit beneath."And they had to go to Canada to find him. What, there aren't enough punkass little sh*ts in America to fit your desired Jackman spawn? Gimme five days and I'll give any kid you pick an untrusting outer shell. …The warm, enthusiastic spirit underneath I cannot guarantee.
Why does this exist?It really seems like the casting for The First Avenger: Captain America is going poorly. The bland shortlist comprised of Chris Evans, Garrett Hedlund, Mike Vogel, and Wilson Bethel has reportedly grown longer and more bland. Today there's word that MacGruber's Ryan Phillippe is in the running for the role. Considering Phillippe is 35 years old, he's easily a decade older than the other applicants. It would be a stretch to cast him as a young Steve Rogers, even with his boyish good looks and pouty lips. **splashes face with water, snaps out of it and cancels GQ subscription**Look, I understand that Captain America should be American, but all of our guys suck. In the interest of never having to write about this subject again, can we please just cast an Australian? Or if that won't work, how about a Canadian? That could be a workable solution as long as their eyes aren't too close together. (HitFix)
"Are those Bagel Bites?!!"Columbia is eager to work with David Fincher again after seeing him work on The Social Network. Variety is reporting that he's attached to re-up with the studio for Pawn Sacrifice, a movie about chess nerd Bobby Fischer's 1972 match against Boris Spassky. That sounds exciting, huh? Well, more exciting than Ridley Scott's Monopoly anyway.But Variety is also reporting that Fincher has his eye on the US remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (which sounds more like a Fountains of Wayne song than it does a movie). Also note that Fincher may be involved with the 3D version of Heavy Metal as well as his previously reported HBO series. It's doubtful that he'll take on all these projects due to his demanding schedule. Same old story. You know how he is. I'm still waiting for him to clean out the damn rain gutters like he promised he was gonna do. (Variety)
Rachael Harris has made guest appearances in a ton of TV shows, including "Reno 911" and "The Sarah Silverman Program." She also played Ed Helms' bitchy wife in The Hangover. She's funny, cute, and has a sexy librarian thing going on when she wears glasses. A word from Rachael: "Maybe because I’m an improviser and I was ready for anything that he was going to bring."And she rolls with the punches. What more could you ask for? I'm pretending she's talking about gettin' freaky, and not acting.More sexy librarian pics of Rachael after the jump.
Ron Perlman's face is a photo-cropper's worst nightmare.When it was first reported that Mickey Rourke was joining Marcus Nispel's Conan remake, I was skeptical. The project just seemed to be too much in the B movie realm for Rourke. Also, it must be impossible to insure your film when you have Mickey Rourke and swords on set. But then I just figured that it was a cocaine-based decision and the money was too good to pass up. Sorry Eric Roberts, but Mickey Rourke has a rubber cement habit to support.Since that report, Rourke has dropped out in favor of Gods of War. Hellboy and Season of the Witch star Ron Perlman has stepped in to play Corin in his stead and it seems like a much better fit. Also note that Rachel Nichols and Said Taghmaoui (both of GI Joe) are rounding out the cast. Unless false reports pop up saying that Sir Richard Attenborough is circling the project, we can assume that the film is cast and the universe is balanced once again. (Vulture)
Peter Graves has sailed to that big Turkish prison in the sky.The veteran television and film star has passed away at the age of 83. Fans will recognize Graves for his various roles in over 70 films and television projects. Following a career in radio, Graves moved to Hollywood and eventually landed the role of Jim Phelps in Mission: Impossible. More recently, Graves won an Emmy as the host of Biography.Though Graves left his biggest impression on the world for his memorable role in Airplane! As Captain Oveur he became a comedy hero, with his untoward questions for a young passenger. Peter Graves will be truly missed and his death serves as a reminder that Leslie Nielsen is not imperishable. When that old fart goes, I will be inconsolable.
Opening night of the South by Southwest film festival featured a preview of footage from Predators. Austin local Robert Rodriguez brought a teaser trailer and clip and spoke to the audience about the upcoming sequel. More from him and director Nimrod Antal later, but first some thoughts on the footage. The teaser trailer, which Rodriguez said was likely to release with Repo Men, got the tone of the original Arnold movie right. It’s all shots of the human characters getting stalked. The camera pushes in on their faces as they turn around to face their unseen (for now) attacker. There are a few hints of familiar creature features, and a brief money shot, but it’s all buildup. Check out the teaser and more after the jump.
Burned.Here are your weekend links.10 Most Compelling Interracial Romances (Moviefone)Porn May Be Good for Society (Asylum)A Dramatic Reading of Lady Gaga's 'Telephone' (PopEater)25 A-Peeling Bananas (HolyTaco)Four Minutes of 'Iron Man 2' (FilmDrunk)Life Size Muppets are Terrifying (Unreality)This is One Bad Bruin (TotalProSports)Best Pissed-Off Police Chiefs (Maxim)10 Very Costly Mistakes (Smosh)Lindsay Lohan Suing Pedigree Over Dog Food Ad (CelebJihad)Depressing Photo of the Day: Jens Pulver (CagePotato)Robert Pattinson Career Assessment (Pajiba)Maganzo! (Atom)Top 100 Jobs in America (MadeMan)Everyone Hates Brad Keselowski (AllLeftTurns)
Tom Hanks minus a soul. Robert Zemeckis' obsession with motion capture has reached its glorious end! At least as far as Disney is concerned. After Zemeckis is finished with his film Mars Needs Moms (it's like he was asking for it), ImageMovers Digital will close in 2011. Walt Disney Studio president Alan Bergman says:Bob and the entire IMD team successfully built a state of the art studio and produced an amazing film, A Christmas Carol, at a time when the dynamics of the industry are rapidly changing. But, given today’s economic realities, we need to find alternative ways to bring creative content to audiences and IMD no longer fits into our business model.a.k.a. your characters are creepin' kids out, Bob. I for one am extremely happy to hear this news. Why did the man who brought us Forrest Gump and Tales from the Crypt go apesh*t over sticking dots to professional actors and turning them into animated cyborgs? Never underestimate the importance of pupils on screen. They make us believe the characters have a conscience, even if it's Gary Busey up there. (Deadline)
If Alan Rickman ever holds this guy's Bonnie Bedelia hostage, he'll be ready.
"We need to see BOTH hands, Favreau."Not content with pissing off only black people, Couple's Retreat has sparked a new controversy. A former model is suing NBC Universal for $10 million after discovering her photo was used without permission as a "masturbatory prop" by Jon Favreau's character in Couple's Retreat. In the film, Irina Krupnik's decade-old bikini picture appears in a brochure that Favreau faps to while his wife is in the washroom. Krupnik had signed a general release at the time the picture was taken but never thought it would be used in a "quasi-pornographic context." We would post the picture for reference but the thought of Favreau…. jesus. Let's hope that piece of movie history doesn't end up at Planet Hollywood. I want to enjoy my blackened mahi mahi without that image in my head. (NY Post)
Meghan Markle was case #24 on Deal or No Deal. She's been on 90210, Fringe, and CSI:NY, but I'm sure nothing compares to holding a metal briefcase for Howie Mandel. A word from Meghan: "I was case #24 on Deal or No Deal."That kind of experience can get you hostess work at Bennigans. More winning pics of Meghan after the jump.
Without an actor currently set to portray Steve Rogers, Marvel at least has a nemesis cast to slapbox whoever eventually wins the role. Hugo Weaving is reportedly renting his iconic forehead to the makers of The First Avenger: Captain America. Joe Johnston has hired Weaving to portray the Red Skull, a nefarious character described as, "the most evil man who ever lived. The symbol of hate. The incarnation of torture. A bane to all those who would live free from tyranny. A major dick." The negotiation process is currently underway, but is said to be in a delicate stage. Joe Johnston can't imagine anyone else in the role. "C'mon. Look at that forehead," he commented. "We won't even need prosthetics. It's going to save us hours in the makeup chair." (THR)
The new trailer for Shrek Forever After has hit, and it seems Dreamworks is kickin' it up a notch. Don't worry, it's still a kids' movie. I just try to find the most perverted part of everything and anything, and exploit it. I'm a big fan of the first Shrek, and even the second and third have their moments, but in Shrek Forever After I swear I can hear the staticy sound of crisp Benjamins passing over the mic as the cast counts their residuals. Far Away Land has grown tiresome, and the jokes about the fairy tale creatures we know and love fall flat. Will the Shrek series go out with a bang or a soft, wet fart? Find out May 21, 2010. Check out the donkey on cat action below.
This isn't a done deal yet but there's a lot of speculation that Steven Spielberg will choose Robopocalypse for his next directing gig. Based on an unpublished manuscript, Robopocalypse tells the story of humankind's struggle after the robot uprising. Cloverfield's Drew Goddard is on scripting duties. I'm picturing a mix of War of the Worlds and Schindler's List.Like I said, this is all industry insiders speculating so it could just as easily go away. What I do know is that you can't trust a machine. They could be anyone at anytime.(Deadline)
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Relativity Media has announced an upcoming project, currently titled Untitled Comedy, that is comprised of several short sketches directed by a wide array of directors. Those who have already completed their contributions for the expanding project are Peter Farrelly, Bob Odenkirk, Elizabeth Banks, Griffin Dunne, and well-known funnyman Brett Ratner, as well as additional directors who will be announced shortly.The project has also announced some big talent. Gerard Butler, Seann William Scott, Kate Winslet, Elizabeth Banks, Liev Schreiber, Chloe Moretz, Hugh Jackman, Naomi Watts, Patrick Warburton, Kieran Culkin, Johnny Knoxville are all on board so far. There are no details what the shorts are about but we do know they will be linked in some way. Producer Charles Wessler described the film:“We all sat down and came up with what we think is a hilarious through-line for the movie. Given the amount of pot I had smoked, at least I think it is hilarious.” Ah, a producer too stoned out of his gourd to clearly delineate what is and isn't hilarious. That explains the hiring of Brett Ratner. (CinemaBlend)
From left to right: Jason Bateman, Andy Garcia, Ryan Reynolds, Ben Affleck…Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds are stepping into each other's skin for the David Dobkin directed comedy Change Up. From THR:Written by "Hangover" scribes Jon Lucas and Scott Moore, "Change-Up" is the latest entry into Hollywood's long line of body-switching movies. This one is a male-centric take on the genre, centering on a responsible family man (Bateman) who switches bodies with his best friend, a lazy man-child (Reynolds).Sooooo it's like The Odd Couple if Felix and Oscar switched bodies? Genius! I bet Bateman's character will wake up in Reynolds's messy apartment and be like totally, "WTF?!" He can't possibly cook a sensible breakfast with only Captain Crunch and used condoms.David Dobkin directed Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson to comedic gold in Wedding Crashers, but that was a fairly unique concept, not a shriveled-up rehash from the 80s. They may as well also work a talking dog in there to really round it out. I'm sure Joan Cusack is available.
He's being discreet about it.Not the most surprising of news, but Christopher Walken is now dabbling in the severed hand business. In Martin McDonagh's play A Behanding in Spokane, Walken is currently playing a psychotic one-handed man in pursuit of the appendage he lost 47 years earlier. Of course, the lines of reality and fiction have blurred for the actor, and when he would normally shout for more cowbell, he's now shouting for more hands.Walken is hoping the production will gift him with hands that he can keep in a special "souvenir" room he has set up in his house/dungeon. Not one person has seen the inside of this room and lived to tell about it. It was once believed that Natalie Wood accidently stumbled into it while looking for the bathroom, but she never revealed her findings. We all know how Walken took care of that… (Vulture)
Emilie de Ravin is best known for her role as Claire on Lost, and saying "Chawwwliee" in a really annoying tone of voice. She's a sexy Aussie though, so she gets more slack from me than I usually reserve for people who yell words strangly.A word from Emilie: "If you are lucky enough to find the right friends and places to hang out on, there are fantastic pockets in L.A."Especially at the corner of Hollywood and Vine. The hookers are extremely cordial.You're lucky enough to get more pics after the jump.
I'm a little late to the Twilight game on account of my testicles, so I'm sure they've explained how vampires can walk in the sunlight without spontaneously combusting. But how can a red-haired vampire walk in the daylight? Everyone knows that sunshine is the leading cause of death in gingers. That's why I've never understood casting David Caruso in CSI: Miami. They must spend half the production budget on sunblock and the other on The Who royalties. What was this post about again? Oh yeah. Two super-powered, mumbly guys continue to fight over the tightest vagina in the Pacific Northwest while bombshell Ashley Greene somehow gets no attention. I understand that Twilight fans wish that they could be the Bella character so that the shirtless boys awkwardly pledge their love to them for a change. If that were the case, a more realistic line would be: “I’m gonna fight for you… until your heart stops beating… because of sleep apnea. Nice pit stains.” Check out the trailer after the jump.
DIRECTOR: David SladeCAST: Kristen Stewart; Robert Pattinson; Taylor Lautner; Bryce Dallas HowardSYNOPSIS: Bella and Edward have been reunited, but their forbidden relationship is threatened to be torn apart again with an evil vampire still seeking her revenge. And Bella is forced to choose between her true love for Edward or her friendship with Jacob Black as the struggles between vampires and werewolves continues. But there is still another choice for Bella to make, mortality or immortality?
Leonardo Da Vinci the Italian painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, geologist, botanist, and writer may be able to add another credit to his list of accolades — action hero. Due to the success of Sherlock Holmes, studios are buying up treatments that turn lieterary and historical figures into kick-butt do-gooders. Warner Bros has picked up a treatment called Leonardo da Vinci and the Soldiers of Forever, a re-imagining where Da Vinci is a member of a secret society who “falls headlong into a supernatural adventure that pits the man against Biblical demons in a story involving secret codes, lost civilizations, hidden fortresses and fallen angels.” Wow. And we all thought Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was retarded. Maybe this isn't a trend that we want to over-do. Kids are already bad at school and this will not help. But if we must continue down this path, can we please credit the man who did it first and did it best? Of course I'm talking about "Weird" Al Yankovic. The man is a visionary. (THR)
The new trailer for Robin Hood proves it's a tough business stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. Robin from da Hood, played with convincing mean-face by Russell Crowe, trots his way into Nottingham and says, "Nuh uh" when he witnesses how a despotic sheriff is treating his peeps. So he does what any other man in tights with a bow and arrow would do: he finds other men in tights with bows and arrows and forms a merry gang. Together they fight a smooth-headed Mark Strong, a formidable foe as Sir Godfrey, as Robin from Da Hood tries to get in Maid Marian's (Cate Blanchett's) panties. All of this is a lot more epic and romantic than I'm describing it, but you get the gist. Look folks, Ridley Scott directed the damn thing. You know what to expect. My words can't do sweeping wide-shots justice. Check out the new trailer after the jump. Robin Hood storms into theaters May 14, 2010.
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Jude Law gets his organ worked on. A red band trailer for Repo Men has been released, and for a movie centered around organ removal, it doesn't disappoint. You get Jude Law removing organs, Forest Whitaker removing organs, and a team of doctors… removing organs! The only person who isn't reaching into an orifice is Liev Schrieber, the reason being his hands are perpetually unsterile. How Naomi Watts stands it, I'll never know. Check out the entrails-filled red band trailer after jump. Disclaimer: it's bloody.
The adage 'time waits for no man…' was kicked in the teeth and taught to be less impatient with the news that Chuck Norris is celebrating his 70th birthday today. That's right. Seventy years and nine months ago today, the bearded sperm that would form Chuck Norris round-housed into an ovum and conceived the toughest man this world will ever know. Ryan, Oklahoma remains a crater to this day.In honor of the sacred day, his family plans to throw him a "know party" because you can't surprise Chuck Norris. If he were to throw it himself, it would circle the Earth and land at his heels. Happy Birthday, Chuck!
Jasika Nicole plays the lab assistant to Joshua Jackson's batshit crazy father in the FOX television show Fringe. She is also an illustrator and has created an autobiographical online comic called "High Yella Magic." I'm unaware if centers around tripping the light fantastic. A word from Jasika: "It's been almost three years since I learned how to ride the subways without getting lost or getting stuck in the closing doors." Awww, you poor, poor dear. When that started happening to Grandma my Pa sent her off to a farm. I'm pretty sure that means he shot her. Respect Jasika for her body AND her mind after the jump.