Paramount seems very serious about actually making a Baywatch movie. So serious in fact, that they've now brought on five writers to capture the elusive tone of the master work. Brian Gatewood and Alessandro Tanaka (who wrote Jonah Hill's The Sitter) have been brought in to polish drafts from The Break-Up's Jeremy Garlick and National Security writers Jay Scherick and David Ronn. It's said the film is to be in the vain of the Charlie's Angels revamp with more of a focus on female action (read: jiggliness).Though no director or castmembers have been hired, we already know where this thing is going. Heidi Montag to star and Zack Snyder to direct. Both are masterful at capturing slow-motion running for different reasons. I'd imagine David Hasslehoff would make some kind of appearance as no actor alive can perform mouth to mouth on a cheeseburger as well as he can. Well, maybe Vince Vaughn could. (THR)
Russell Brand will be added in post. Before you start salivating, this movie isn't about a tall stack smothered in maple syrup with a side of hash browns and sausage. Kaley Cuoco, Sheldon's dreamy tall stack on The Big Bang Theory, has joined the Easter Bunny comedy (is that a thing?) I, Hop. Russell Brand and James Marsden are already set to star in the film that I'm sure will do for Easter what Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights did for Hanukkah. Cuoco will play Marsden's character's sister, "who allows Marsden to live with her when he gets kicked out by his parents because he injures a big f*cking bunny rabbit and brings it home to live with him." Talk about a bad house guest! I just hope there's a gag with him in a mailbox. That joke gets me every time. (THR)
Warner Bros never expected The Hangover to become successful enough to lead to a sequel so they didn't sign the actors up for additional films. Though it's been expected that Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis would return for another day of delirium tremens, nothing was confirmed until today.Deadline reports that each actor will be paid in the $5 million range. That's a huge step upward considered they didn't earn $1 million collectively for the original film. I'm terrified/delighted to see what Zach Galifianakis will spend that money on. If anyone sees someone driving a hovercraft on the freeway, it's probably him. Director Todd Phillips will be cashing in as well, though his gamble to receive 15% of the original's gross has already made him a very rich man.No plot specifics for the sequel have been released yet, though I have a sinking suspicion it involves drinking and trying to remember what Galifianakis stuck his penis into the previous night.
Parents groups are up in arms over the growing popularity of red-band trailers and the ease with which children are able to access them. What they need to do is face the fact that red-band trailers are awesome and it's growing much harder to monitor their kids due to the Internet's reach. This battle is lost parents. You should just focus on being "cool parents" and pop the corn, kick back, and check out this second red-band trailer for George Romero's Survival of the Dead. It's not that explicit except for all the blood and guts and stuff. Also, a zombie rides a horse. Sidenote: Here we are in the year 2010 and Romero has six Living Dead movies under his belt and he's only now breaching shooting zombies with a flare gun territory. Now that's an artist who knows how to keep things fresh. Win the adoration of your gore-loving children after the jump.
Though Tom Petty lyrics would lead you to believe Reseda to be a haven for vampires, Hot Tub Time Machine director Steve Pink is aiming to set the record straight with Werewolves of Reseda. The story, which is about a group of guys gradually turning into werewolves, is being described as The Hangover with a horror twist. Wouldn't that just be The Hangover with more Carrot Top footage?At any rate, it's getting all kinds of werewolf-y in here. Off the top of my head I can think of six or seven werewolf-centric projects already released or in production. Between all that Twilight stuff, The Wolfman, MTV's "Teen Wolf" series, MMA Werewolves, The Monster Squad, David Hayter's Wolves, and Alec Baldwin hosting the Oscars, there's never been an easier time for really hairy dudes to get work. (/Film)
Back in the good-old days, the elderly were revered as a valuable source of knowledge. Their vast life experiences were respected not only as a link to the past, but also as guide for the future. Yes, old people were once a cherished commodity. Just kidding! I assume old people have always been considered lame, but I don’t know for sure because I never learned history. History is for old people, and I hate old people. But I will say this; in the world of Hollywood make-believe, there are a few old dudes that I would not want to piss off. Luckily we live in the real world where old dudes can barely walk. But all the same, here’s a list of eight movie geezers you don’t want to mess with.
The new trailer for Knight & Day gives us a better look at Tom Cruise going batcrap crazy and kidnapping Cameron Diaz. In the trailer, he's described as being mentally unstable, violent and dangerous, and having suffered a full-blown break with reality. Yet, Cameron Diaz still eats up the attention. That's such a crock. Whenever I like a girl and cling to her windshield as she speeds down the expessway, the authorities are brought in and my parent's have to move again. But Johnny Handsome here does the same thing and it's considered a meet cute. Maybe my standards are out of whack. I should pursue someone closer to my own age. Like Katherine Heigl. Watch Cruise save Cameron from the forces of Peter Sarsgaard after the jump.
The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and DJ Jazzy Jeff before a show on the mothership. Back in November we reported that Roland Emmerich wanted to do two Independence Day sequels back-to-back. We laughed at the idea and made fun of his German accent as we reenacted his interview to MTV, but now we might have to wipe a whole lotta sauerkraut off our faces because Will Smith bitch-slapped us with his recent attachment to the projects.According to IESB, Smith is on board for both sequels, possibly titled ID4-Ever Part I and Part II, a delicious pun that I hope never changes. Emmerich stated in the previous interview that the story would again be set on Earth, and the reason for two movies is that he wants "to do a bigger story arc." If I had it my way, Part II would consist entirely of Bill Pullman shooting confused looks at the rest of the ensemble cast and then delivering one ridiculously long-winded monologue before ACTUAL Randy Quaid flies off in a jet to fight aliens. Now if we can somehow invent the technology to scoop images directly out of Randy's brain they wouldn't have to shoot even a single frame. It's practically the only thing the man thinks about these days.
Producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form have cultivated a career remaking horror films under the tutelage of Michael Bay. Remaking a film beloved by fans is always a risky maneuver, unless it's an all-child version of Scarface. Platinum Dunes has drawn the ire of fan boys and horror zealots with their take on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th. They're next effort, A Nightmare on Elm Street, is already being maligned. With that in mind they've decided to change their game by stepping away from ruining childhoods and move into ruining graphic novels. Fuller tells Dread Central:"The studio has decided to move forward and look for new types of material, which is how we got involved with Existence 2.0. I love action-y type material, and these graphic novels had that feel to them. Our writers are currently working on the script for that project.”Does that mean they are done with horror entirely? More after the jump.
Stunt Schooled – Watch more Funny VideosIf you've been wondering how Robert Downey Jr. delivered those painful blows in the opening sequence of Sherlock Holmes then look no further than this video. Eric Oram, fight consultant for the film, takes you step-by-step through the process of deafening someone, jamming their windpipe, breaking their ribs, and shattering their kneecap. All fake of course, but still badass. Don't try this on your little brother. But feel free to try these links at home.Bryan Singer to Produce X-Men: First Class (Moviefone)Junk Food May Be As Addictive As Crack (Asylum)Ricky Martin is Officially Gay (PopEater)25 Awesome Rage Guy Cartoons (HolyTaco)M. Night Thought 'Twilight' Was Perfect (FilmDrunk)5 Awesome Chatroulette Music Videos (Unreality)19 Players Ejected from Bench-Clearing Brawl (TotalProSports)The Art of the Prank (Maxim)Freak Show All-Stars (Smosh)Mila Kunis Shows Some Serious Cleavage (CelebJihad)UFC 115 May Be Headed to Cincinnati (CagePotato)5 Best Time Travel Movies (Pajiba)An Outrageous Sitcom Parody (Atom)20 Songs To Have Sex To (MadeMan)25 WTF NASCAR Photos (AllLeftTurns)
Legendary Pictures is gearing up for an American remake of Godzilla, the well-known monster most famous for destroying Tokyo more times than panty-sharking. This seems like a bad idea. Roland Emmerich's attempt to bring Toho's monster to American shores was terribly goofy and has really soured the public's need to see another film. For that reason, Legendary wants to make it clear that this movie will not be a sequel to that movie. It will be a re-imagining of the Japanese Godzilla films, but I'm still hesitant to trust–Wait what's this?Oh, okay. That's adorable. I can't stay mad at him now. Post-convert it to 3D and bring it on Legendary!
This one's for all of you losers who went out Saturday night and missed "Nickelodeon's Kid's Choice Awards". Your incessant need to beer bong and talk to women almost prevented you from seeing this Iron Man 2 TV spot featuring footage unseen heretofore. This new spot shows off Scarlett Johannson's talent for saying words and reveals that her character doesn't have the Russian accent she was expected to have. Up until now, I didn't even notice she hadn't talked in the previous ads. Between that and Don Cheadle's little moment, I guess the intent is to remind the public that there are actors in this movie amongst all the CGI. Also note that there is zero footage of Mickey Rourke as villain Whiplash in this spot. Test groups show that Mickey Rourke doesn't chart well with the youth demographic. Something about him being "scary" and "murder eyes." All that can be changed though by casting him as a rough around the edges babysitter who also is a spy. It's your move FOX. Watch the spot after the jump.
And the winning captions are…"It's alright, I would never tell your wife what we do to stay warm.""If this Prince of Persia gig doesn't work out I might need to crash at your place.""At least you got Spider-man. I had to settle for Aquaman on Entourage.""Let's get one thing straight, I'm not.""I was only kidding about your sister. Let go of my neck."You guys really went hard with the Brokeback Mountain jokes, obviously.The winners will receive Brothers on their choice of either Blu Ray or DVD.Thanks to everyone who posted on the Screen Junkies Facebook wall. You guys came up with some great/sick stuff. We're concerned about most of your mental conditions.Brothers is available on Blu Ray and DVD today.
Someone sent Break this elementary school production of Scarface. I have no idea what district would allow such explicit material to be portrayed by children, or why they used popcorn instead of cocaine, but I wish my old school was this cool. My guess is some drama teacher got his pink slip and said, "F*ck it, I'm puttin' on Scarface." Then before the administrators knew it, Tony Montana was dead face down in a hot tub and parents were clapping from sheer confusion. Check out the coolest school production ever below.
Fantasy movie-making BFF's (big fat fatties) Peter Jackson and Guillermo Del Toro have been been delayed further in their attempts to bring The Hobbit to cineplexes. Filming was slated to begin in June but has now been pushed back toward the end of the year. This push will probably jeopardize plans for the film's late 2012 release. TheOneRing.net cites the on-going money troubles over at the co-producing MGM as the reason for the delay and until they pull themselves out of debt, this film will not be receiving a greenlight.Personally I wish they'd hurry the hell up. I'd really like to be able to leave my house but I look ridiculous in this Gandalf costume that I was accidentally stitched into. (The Playlist)
Citing the lack of buck naked knife fights in recent films, David Cronenberg has reteamed with his muse Viggo Mortensen once more for a sequel to the 2007 film Eastern Promises. Steve Knight, who wrote the original as well as David Fincher's upcoming Pawn Sacrifice, has finished the script and Cronenberg is scheduled to begin filming next winter after he and Mortensen wrap The Talking Cure.At this time it is unknown if Naomi Watts and Viggo's manhood will reprise their roles but we should hope that Mortensen's package makes another appearance, because it was by far and away the breakout star of the original. Perhaps there's room for a naked rake fight in the script. (Deadline)
We all know that Battlefield Earth is bad. Like, worse than stuff on Fox Family bad. In fact, it won the "Worst Movie of the Decade" Razzie this month. An award that screenwriter J.D. Shapiro showed up to pick up in person. In today's New York Post, Shapiro wrote an apology that's ten years overdue. Think of all the people who went to their graves without this much-needed mea culpa. He also provided some backstory to explain how the turd was squeezed onto screens. Naturally, his penis is to blame:It started, as so many of my choices do, with my Willy Wonker. It was 1994, and I had read an article in Premiere magazine saying that the Celebrity Center, the Scientology epicenter in Los Angeles, was a great place to meet women.So a grown man who refers to his penis as his Willy Wonker wanted to get some crazy tail and as a result was hired to write a $100 million movie. And that led to Forest Whitaker wearing dreadlocks and Travolta talking like a castmember of Zoobilee Zoo. Hooray for Hollywood.You can read Shapiro's full piece at the NY Post. But be warned, you'll have to grit your teeth and suffer through his jokes. They're worse than ours.
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Jerry Bruckheimer would like you to know that Nicolas Cage is not some gay-bay sorcerer like you're used to seeing. No way. This sorcerer drives a sports car (and is probably going through a sorcerer's mid-life crisis). A new international trailer for The Sorcerer's Apprentice was conjured up today. (*submits resume to Variety*) In this version, we see the same framework of the first with Nicolas Cage in a dopey hat abducting Jay Baruchel from his life as a physics nerd to induct him into the life of a magic nerd. The largest difference is more footage of the excellent Alfred Molina as the villian "Maxim," a nefarious sorcerer who hangs out in dudes' bathrooms but then gets hidden hastily when girls are over. Sadly you'll have to wait until July 16th to see Cage go full-wizard. Witness the magic of computer effects after the jump…
The SNL cast member the writers rely on when the week’s host sucks
"We're gonna need some bigger breasts."Look what you started, Adam Sandler. You gave Heidi Montag a cameo in Just Go With It and now she thinks she's Cecil B-Cup Demille. She tells People (or anyone else who will listen):“I am making the first 3D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3D boobs. I’m now finally free to start my career and my new life as a female mogul in Hollywood! I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!” Granted, it's a nice use of 3D but this movie is so insulting to victims of shark attacks and their families. If she could, I'm sure Bethany Hamilton would flip Heidi off with both middle fingers.
A teaser for The Other Guys hit ShoWest last week and now Yahoo has officially released it to people who aren't allowed back in Vegas, deeming it a "motion poster." Call me old fashioned, but I like a play and pause button on my media. Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell sliding across screen like a couple of bad ass cops is a damn fine thing to witness so enjoy the autoplay and autorepeat. Don't you DARE close that window until it's cycled at least 10 times. Check out the fancy, shmancy motion poster after the jump.
Animal Kingdom, the repetitively-described Australian crime drama, was loved by all when it debuted at Sundance. That's to be expected when your film includes music from bands like Air Supply. If 1980's comedies have taught me anything, it's that Air Supply is huge in ski resorts and mountain towns. The movie tells the story of a family of criminals as they are descended upon and taken apart by a group of detectives when one of their own turns on them. Think of it as a dramatic take on The Goonies. Without the pirate ship and kids and deformities. Watch the full trailer to see what all the buzz is about after the jump…
They're dogs…and they're dancing! If you like talking dogs and the above picture doesn't terrify you then the new trailer for Marmaduke might just be your cup of tea. The film features a ton of talent including Owen Wilson as Marmaduke, Lee Pace, Judy Greer, William H. Macy, Fergie, George Lopez, and Kiefer Sutherland. How is this the first time that Keifer Sutherland has played a Rottweiler? The man was practically born to voice that creature. …And drink. …And fight. He was born to voice a dog, drink, and fight. **cue Donald Sutherland facepalm** Hey kids, check out the Marmaduke trailer after the jump!
Have You Seen This Dapper Man?Cannes 1962. Jacques d'Azur gives some lucky lady the bedroom eyes.Legend of Cannes and a god among men Jacques d'Azur is missing and your help is desperately needed. The French film producer/director/actor/tennis player/chess master/backgammon champion/waterskiing pioneer and full time bon-vivant known for his work on the red carpets, swimming pools, and silk sheets of the French Riviera hasn't been seen since last week. Needless to say, his extremely wealthy family is distraught.Multi-tasking is Jacques Multi-Tasking d'Azur's middle name.
Yeah, yeah, keep laughing asshole.Remember how you were complaining last Friday night about how ticket prices have gotten insanely expensive? Oh man…you are gonna be so mad about this news. Theater chains AMC, Regal, and Cinemark have decided to increase ticket prices for 3D shows an average of 20%.Before you get that look in your eye and a Louisville Slugger, you should know that the phenomenal success of Avatar and Alice in Wonderland is to blame. So when you're paying $20 for a seat in Clash of the Titans next weekend at AMC Loews Kips Bay don't wish bad tidings on the stout theater manager, but rather on yourself for going to see movies. You know, if you didn't like wearing silly glasses so much this wouldn't be an issue.Needless to say, we're going to have a lot of disappointed women on our hands when they realize that their dates can no longer afford an extravagent night out at the movies. Expect sexual bartering to rise by 20%. (Vulture)
Brothers is available on Blu Ray and DVD tomorrow, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! Watch the oddly similar looking Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal deliver intense performances in glorious HD right in your dingy living quarters.All you have to do is post on the SJ Facebook fan page the funniest caption you can muster to accompany the still frame above.If you're not already awesome and a fan of Screen Junkies on Facebook then become one, post a caption, and you'll be entered to win. Click HERE to be whisked away to our Facebook page.Contest ends at 11:59pm on Friday, March 26, and the winner will be announced on Monday, March 29, via Facebook, Twitter and on the site.You can enter as many times as you like. Do it for Jake Gyllenhaal, do it for your country, do it because Natalie Portman is smokin' hot in HD. Just bring the funny.
"Whatch you computin' bout, Willis?!!"I have good news and bad news. Good news is that Paul Anderson is directing another movie. Bad news is that I'm referring to Paul W.S. Anderson, the Resident Evil and AvP director. Not Paul Thomas Anderson, the guy who did Boogie Nights and those other movies I'm supposed to understand and like when I hang out with my friends who read.Anderson (the bad one) is teaming up with Paradox Entertainment for a 3D version of the classic sci-fi Buck Rogers. The property previously had Frank Miller attached to direct until it was discovered that he doesn't know how to direct. I'm not sure why Anderson (the bad one) would be interested in telling this Silver Age story when most of his work leans toward the gritty and gothic but I'll be interested to see how he squeezes Slipknot onto the movie's soundtrack. In hindsight, I guess I didn't have good news at all. Sorry you guys. (Deadline)
If I had one criticism of Martin Scorsese's Kundun, it was due to the total lack of miniature monks bitch slapping their enemies with the elements. Luckily we have this trailer for M. Night Shyamalan's The Last Airbender to pick up the slack. Good job, Marty. In this latest trailer, they lay out the plot of Star Wars. Which is nice of them but I've already seen that movie. But I guess this is a fantasy movie for the kids. The one's that haven't seen Harry Potter or Percy Jackson more specifically. You know, the popular kids. Witness Shyamalan's bid to redeem himself after the jump.
Collette Wolfe was studying sociology in North Carolina when she got a role in The Foot Fist Way. She married the film's director Jody Hill, starred in his next movie Observe and Report, and now she's on her way to comedy stardom. She's got the whole dumb, blond bimbo thing down pat in Hot Tub Time Machine. A word from Collette: "I remember breastfeeding. My mom may have had a perm during said breastfeeding."Your mom sounds like a hip breastfeeder. High five!See why breast milk does a body good after the jump.