The new one-sheet for Twilight: Eclipse just hit and the cast couldn't look more apathetic about it. I believe the point here is to convey that the actors Twihards cream over will also be in this film. The marketing gurus probably figured they could have given the characters assholes for eyes and it wouldn't make a difference at the box office.
I Googled "scream" and this came up.Dimension Films has confirmed that Scream 4 will go into production in Spring 2010 for an April 12th, 2011 release. Wes Craven will again direct, as initially suspected, and original Scream creator Kevin Williamson will write the script. Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, and (unfortunately) David Arquette Cox will all be reprising their roles. I really hope David takes his character Dewey to full retard in this one. It doesn't make sense for him to scale back his own personality just for the sake of acting. (Variety)
In 2004, Anchorman swept through theaters and supplied comedy nerds, Snorg Tees, and douchebags on MTV dating shows with catchphrases galore. Sadly, the unjust box office failure of Brüno has caused a catchphrase drought, one that won't be remedied by the Channel 4 news team apparently. After failing to reunite all the players for Anchorman 2, Will Ferrell is waving the white flag of surrender. He tells IMDB, "I thought we were doing it. Now I've heard it's going to be too hard to get everyone together."That's sad for the many fans of Anchorman, but totally understandable. Will Ferrell, Steve Carrell, Paul Rudd, and David Koechner are far too busy providing cameos in one another's movies to actually get together to film a movie.
Why are pugs specifically so much fun to humiliate?Teen Wolf Pug Syriana Pug Tin Man Pug Arachnophobia Pug Spiderman Pug
Popeye wrestles with his demon.Move over, Stallone. Another aged strongman prone to using performance-enhancers is making his way back to theaters. Variety reports that Sony Pictures Animation will be releasing a computer animated Popeye in 3D. The storyline is being kept under wraps but producer Avi Arad has said it "will cover the themes of friendship, love, greed and life, and focus on human strengths and human frailties.” Hey, did he just steal the logline from The Room?This obviously follows the trend of other cartoon to film adaptations such as Garfield, The Smurfs, Underdog, Marmaduke, and Alvin and the Chipmunks. I only hope the sailorman sticks to eating spinach and not his own sh*t.
With a shortage of movies about people running around and biting other people hitting screens this summer, it's very good news that Rec 2 may find its way to American theaters. Bloody Disgusting has reported that Magnolia Pictures is close to securing a July theatrical run for the gory sequel with Sony aiming to put it on DVD in October.This is of course the sequel to Rec, the shaky cam Spanish horror film that spawned the love-it-or-hate-it nearly shot for shot American remake Quarantine. Sony has announced that Quarantine 2's action will be set in a cordoned off airport as opposed to Rec 2's infested tenement. I'll definitely check it out this July. I only hope the subtitles count towards my summer reading. **adjusts ascot, straightens helmet**
The disturbing part is he's TOTALLY into it.Share these links with your siblings.Aziz Ansari Might Host MTV Movie Awards (Moviefone)New Book Promises Orgasms for Everyone (Asylum)Ben Folds Takes on Doppelganger (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Sweet 16! (HolyTaco)Serbian Machete Sex? Serbian Machete Sex. (FilmDrunk)10 Most Memorable Elevator Scenes in Movies (Unreality)Knicks Cheerleaders as Bad as Their Team (TotalProSports)Our Healthcare System Explained (Maxim)Aliens in Classic Paintings (Smosh)Joe Jonas Definitely Not Gay (CelebJihad)UFC Live Aftermath (CagePotato)An Interview with Christopher Gauthier (Pajiba)Tell Tech Support How You Really Feel (Atom)How to Avoid Being a Lovable Slub (MadeMan)25 Nasty NASCAR Crashes (AllLeftTurns)
Cheer up, Chris. You're set for life now.The great search is finally over! Marvel and Joe Johnston have found their Captain America. Chris Evans, the guy who wore the whipped cream bikini in Not Another Teen Movie, accepted the coveted role today. They still have to work out all the minor details in what I'm sure is a massive contract, but I can officially say that I don't have to report on this story any longer. Hallelujah!Marvel scoured all of Hollywood to find the right actor to play The First Avenger. Ryan Phillippe was in the running along with Channing Tatum and the guy with the hair from Gossip Girl, but Chris Evans emerged victorious. In your face, pretty boys! They got a pretty boy who can grow a beard for the job. (THR)
When not busy murdering children, Voldemort spends his time busking for change in the town square.Pyrotechnics went awry on the set of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows over the weekend but the fire department was able to prevent Leavesden Studios from going the way of a Great White concert. A second unit team was filming a big effect for the "climactic battle of Hogwarts" sequence when a blaze raged out of control. An exterior courtyard set was destroyed but it reportedly needed to be rebuilt anyway. How convenient. "We were gonna burn that down anyway" sounds better than "we f*cked up."No castmembers were on set at the time. Just crewmembers. Plebians really. So don't you worry, teenage girls and creepy older chicks in my office. Daniel Radcliffe's ripped abdominals were unscathed. (/Film)
Jonah Hill balks at twelve inches. It's amazing the difference between a trailer that's allowed to show dildos and one that isn't. Sometimes I watch both the rated and unrated promos for a film and still think it's going to blow, but Get Him to the Greek states the perfect case for the necessity of red band. Johah Hill plays a schlubby record label intern who's assigned by big boss P. Diddy to escort rock star Aldous Snow to his comeback concert in Los Angeles. Along the way he gets sex toys in the face, drugs up the butt, and stands really close to Russell Brand, three traditional British customs. Why their ladies worship a man who looks like a mangy Persian cat I'll never understand. Check out the red band trailer after the jump. Get Him to the Greek rocks theaters June 4, 2010.
Though his Spiderman 4 role never became a reality, it looks like John Malkovich won't be missing out on a blockbuster payday. Deadline reports that Oscar nominee and Oscar winner Frances McDormand will slum it for Michael Bay in Transformers 3. I guess Malkovich wants something worse than Con-Air on his resume. Malkovich will play LaBeouf's first boss while McDormand will play the National Intelligence Director.Ken Jeong of The Hangover and Community is also joining the cast. This news worries me given Bay's penchant for representing ethnic characters as racial stereotypes. Here's hoping he doesn't go the angry, yelling Korean guy route. If so, he could have saved some money by hiring Dat Phan.
Diora Baird's friends call her Dee Dee, as in 32DD, and yes, they are real. She's the girl in Wedding Crashers that makes Owen Wilson realize he needs to quit sticking his d*ck in everything. Question: How in holy hell could Diora make you realize that?! A word from Diora: "I learned very quickly that if a producer wants to have dinner with me, he wants to f*ck me." It's a shame you're such a narrow-minded woman. What if he just wants to enjoy the company of an extremely busty, gorgeous female companion who–I can't finish that with a straight face. Find out why producers want to f*ck Diora after the jump.
In this episode of Sparkle Vamps 90210: Eclipse, Edward and Bella mumble about the pros and cons of becoming a vampire.PRO: Super-strength.CON: No Christmas. PRO: Immortality.CON: No visiting of loved ones. PRO: Doin' it.CON: Losing your soul. I wonder if super-hearing is a result of being turned because SPEAK THE HELL UP! Bella would be a fool not to become a vampire if only for the invincibility. She's so low-energy that otherwise she'll drown in a bowl of soup. Check out the clip after the jump before it gets yanked like a Twihard with a R.Patz pillow…
I had the opportunity to travel to Lake Tahoe for the Hot Tub Time Machine junket, and for some reason they put me in a cabin with the film's stars and a few cameras. I decided to take advantage of the serendipitous moment and ask Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, and Crispin Glover some questions about the film. Now mind you, we all attended an 80s party the night prior where free beer and wine was served so you should appreciate how coherent everyone is, and funny on top of that. The cast discusses working naked together in a hot tub, Cusack's Better Off Dead flashbacks, and the phenomenon that is Teen Wolf Pug.Enjoy the candid interviews below. Hot Tub Time Machine opens this Friday. Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke
With Alice in Wonderland holding strong at the box office, Tim Burton is back on top and lining up his next projects. Last week, it was speculated that he would helm an adaptation of The Addams Family in stop-motion 3D but that rumor proved to be false. Instead, Burton will direct the stop-motion 3D Frankenweenie. And no, it's not a movie about Chastity Bono's transformation into Chaz. It's actually a full-length adaptation of one of his early short films about a man who resurrects his dog after it is hit by a car.Executive producer Don Hahn told SXSW, "that the puppets are ready, the script is done and now that Tim Burton is clear of 'Alice in Wonderland'… he's set to helm 'Frankenweenie' in 3D."This project feels a lot more likely to happen and won't get bonered like Addams. After all, this is Burton's original creation. He's erecting it from his vision and he's been playing with it for years. It's his Weenie and you can be ensured that he won't pull out. Why's everyone looking at me like that? (AICN)
Quick everyone! Neil Patrick Harris is saying things!! And these things he's saying may mean that Dr. Horrible 2 will be a feature length film.“Apparently they're making a 'Dr. Horrible' sequel — a feature film, I hope.” Or it won't be! But assuming it is, they have a fine line to walk in order to successfully pull off the camp and low budget look of the original web series.“You don't want to necessarily make the feature film be an $80 million giant movie, because it defeats the purpose of what the first film was made to be… Then again, you don't want it to be so low-brow that it's not worth paying money to see as a movie.” [**cough, cough Ironclad**]To recapitulate, Joss Whedon is making a sequel to a web series which its star HOPES will be a feature film. And if it is a feature film, they'll have to spend more money. The end. This information brought to you by a slow news weekend. (MTV)
Looks like someone sh*t the bed, Phillippe.The never-ending search for Captain America could finally be ending. THR is reporting that the role has been offered to Johnny Storm from The Fantastic Four, a.k.a. Chris Evans:Evans' offer would include starring in up to three "America" movies plus "The Avengers" movies and appearances in several other Marvel movies. While an offer to star in "America" may seem like something you don't have to mull over too long, one possible complication is that Evans is committed to co-starring in the Anna Faris romantic comedy "What's Your Number?" Both are scheduled to shoot this summer.It's understandable why Evans would have a difficult time making this decision. If you read the quote above it says he's scheduled to star in an Anna Faris rom-com. Nope, Captain America seems like too much of a gamble. Fart in the face of the Gods, Evans, so you can have a chance to bang the House Bunny on set. OR ask your agent to get you out of it and BANG ANYONE EVER ALL THE TIME WITH FISTFULS OF COKE-DUSTED CASH. Your choice, really.
She's about to get beta carotene on their ass.Here are your weekend links.Memorable and Shocking PSAs (Moviefone)Why Your Band Hasn't Made It Yet (Asylum)Hugh Grant Got Into a Cake Fight (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 2, Day 2 (HolyTaco)Journey Singer Loves N-Bombs (FilmDrunk)15 Videos of The Office Cast Outside of Dunder Mifflin (Unreality)Trampoline Dunk Shatters the Backboard (TotalProSports)21 Awesomely Weird Guitars (Maxim)10 Blaxploitative Movie Posters (Smosh)Sandra Bullock is a Disloyal Wife (CelebJihad)UFC Banned From German TV (CagePotato)MacGruber Review (Pajiba)Douche-Off (Atom)12 Places to Pick Up Chicks (MadeMan)Harvick, Edwards Feuding (AllLeftTurns)
The full-length trailer for Luc Besson's Les Aventures Extraordinaires d'Adele Blanc-Sec gives us a really in-depth look at whatever the hell this is. All I really know about it is that it stars hot weather girl turned actress Louise Bourgoin and a pterodactyl. Commercials in France are awesome. I'd love to see how they'd market Easy Curves. Here's a description from Twitch: The year is 1912. Adèle Blanc-Sec, an intrepid young reporter, will go to any lengths to achieve her aims, including sailing to Egypt to tackle mummies of all shapes and sizes. Meanwhile, in Paris, it's panic stations! A 136 million-year old pterodactyl egg on a shelf in the natural history museum has mysteriously hatched, and the bird subjects the city to a reign of terror from the skies. But nothing fazes Adèle Blanc-Sec, whose adventures reveal many more extraordinary surprises… Oh. I guess the trailer makes sense now. Doesn't explain all the funny hats though. (Twitch) Check out -0:24 for a flash of NSFW action. After the jump…
Note to Jennifer Aniston: put your cups of semen away when you're done with them. If you don't, Jason Bateman will get drunk, perform impromptu experiments, and your hopes of fertilization will go rushing down the drain. …Or will it? In the trailer for The Switch, formally known as The Baster, Bateman plays a humdrum mope named Wally who switches Patrick Wilson's love juice out with his own. Here, come closer. **Hushed tone** See, the only thing is though, Aniston's character was planning on using that love juice to conceive a child. So then guess what happens. She uses WALLY'S love juice instead. Then guess what happens! She has a kid! THEN GUESS WHAT HAPPENS!!! COMEDY!!!!!!!!! The film is directed by Josh Gordon & Will Speck, the same guys who did Blades of Glory, and also stars Jeff Goldblum as the same best friend character he played to Hugh Grant in Nine Months. Why do people continually listen to Goldblum's advice? The man has absolutely nothing of reason to offer. Check out the trailer after the jump. The Switch inserts itself in theaters August 20th, 2010.
Directors: Josh Gordon & Will SpeckCast: Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick WilsonSynopsis: An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend, who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own.Release Date: August 20, 2010
Much like with inbreeding, The Final Destination series has degraded in quality with each film. The first was a unique twist on the horror genre, the second compensated for its weak story with impressive gore sequences, the third happened, and the NASCAR-based fourth installment was the film equivalent of a mongoloid. BUT it was a 3D mongoloid and 3D equals big box office.With that being said, Warner Bros. head bro Alan Horn announced at ShoWest that a fifth installment of the franchise will be breathing through its mouth in the near future. Why? "Because we couldn't resist," according to Horn.No details yet on who will direct or which sexy teens will be cast, but that's fine because you probably won't know who the hell they are anyway. (/Film)
Carice van Houten is a Dutch stage and film actress. She looks great both with and without clothes in Paul Verhoeven's Black Book. It's clear that Verhoeven appreciates a stellar rack, and Carice is no exception. Don't worry, I think she's a fine actress, too. I'm not a COMPLETE pig. A word from Carice: "I have seen Hollywood, and although I have nothing against it, it's not my kind of life."You're clearly not doing enough illegal subtances when you're in town. The glitz and glamour become a lot more appealing with some booger sugar up in ya. Appreciate the Dutch more after the jump.
I've got some good news and some bad news. Good news is that Jennifer Lopez is finally going to suffer the head trauma we've all been wishing upon her. Bad news is that it's going to be fake movie head trauma. From THR:Jennifer Lopez is in talks to star in the remake of the romantic comedy "Overboard," which Overbrook is producing for Columbia. The 1987 movie, which starred Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and was directed by Garry Marshall, centered on a snooty, spoiled woman who falls off her yacht and is taken to the hospital by a local, morally challenged carpenter. When she wakes up with amnesia, he convinces her she is his wife, thereby getting a free housekeeper for his four boys.Putting laugh-a-minute Lopez in a comedy is a great idea because that always turns out so well. But I don't see her becoming this character. Sure, the snooty, spoiled part should be old hat for her but the housekeeping? This will be the first time that Hollywood employs a stunt double to vacuum. (THR)
Update: Tim Burton's people (ghouls in suits) told MTV, and I'm paraphrasing, "This rumor is bullsh*t! Oogie boogie!" They then quickly dug a hole in the earth and jumped in. But seriously, he isn't doing this movie.To further prove his dominance over the Curlz MT font, Tim Burton has signed on to adapt The Addams Family into a 3D, stop-motion film as is his way. One has to wonder if he was more attracted to the source material or the big box office raked in by a 3D version of an established franchise. Given his track record these last few years, I'd say he's more attracted to long green than pale flesh.The characters will be based upon the drawings of Charles Addams that frequently appeared in The New Yorker and despite what you may or may not have heard this is in no way an attempt to punk out The Addams Family and Addams Family Values director Barry Sonnenfeld. He took care of that himself by directing Big Trouble. (Deadline)
Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes have incensed a number of horror fans with their Abercrombie & Fitch approach to remaking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Friday the 13th, and potentially A Nightmare on Elm Street. And now they've got their sites set on incensing horror comedy fans with the announcement they've teamed with Rob Cohen for his long-gestating remake of The Monster Squad, the Fred Dekker cult classic that is fondly remembered by all children of the 1980's. The director of Stealth may seem like an odd choice to helm the picture but he actually produced the original. A movie fact that I did not know and probably the reason I'll never make it to the Scene-It nationals. The movie tells the story of a group of kids banding together to stop Dracula from assembling all the legendary monsters in his quest to take over the world. Surprisingly I'm not too bitter about this news, only because I think the idea of a Michael Bay/Rob Cohen exxxtreme take on The Monster Squad is hysterical. This time around it will be discovered that not only does Wolfman got nards, but also a pretty gnarly Prince Albert piercing. (Deadline)
Brody faces off with a Predator disco ball. Now you all can finally see what those lucky f*cks at SXSW saw last Saturday. I'm considering being on board for this new Predators installment, but I can't yet fully commit. I have to first suspend my disbelief that Adrian Brody can play a mercenary (isn't that nose a hazard in the field?), and that Lawrence Fishburne can't stop a Predator cold in its tracks by simply shooting it the stink-eye. Here's your context from IGN: Brody plays Royce, a mercenary who reluctantly leads a group of elite warriors who come to realize they've been brought together on an alien planet… as prey. With the exception of a disgraced physician, they are all cold-blooded killers – mercenaries, Yakuza, convicts, death squad members – human "predators" that are now being systemically hunted and eliminated by a new breed of alien Predators. Yakuza and death squad members finally working together. And they say progress isn't being made in the world. Isn't that right, Walton Goggins? Walton: "Who's your daddy now?!" Man, I hope his character dies in the first act… Check out the trailer after the jump. Predators rips theaters a new asshole July 7.
It appears the new Captain America has been cast. We're not sure who he is, but it appears when he's not murdering Nazis he enjoys kicking back at Pierhead Restaurant & Bar with Ghostrider, The Flash, Mr. Incredible, The Hulk, and no less than TWO Robins. Superheros should learn to be more secretive about where they go to get sh*tfaced. Google is ALWAYS watching. (BleedingCool)Don't let Google see you with these links.Betty White Calls Sarah Palin a Crazy Bitch (Moviefone)Former Manhattan Madame Runs for Governor (Asylum)Meet Jesse James' Tattooed Mistress (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 2, Day 1 (HolyTaco)George Lucas Doing Star Wars for Babies (FilmDrunk)Ten 90s Crushes All Grown Up (Unreality)Top 10 Sexts Tiger Sent to Joslyn James (TotalProSports)Best Beach Bodies (Maxim)Anteaters are F*cking Awesome (Smosh)Jessica Alba Shows Serious Cleavage (CelebJihad)UFC Live: Vera vs. Jones (CagePotato)Let's Discuss Space Boners (Pajiba)March Madness Girl (Atom)Winning March Madness Picks (MadeMan)How Do Cars Become Airborne (AllLeftTurns)5 Reasons Your Gaming System is Better than your Girlfriend (RegretfulMorning)
The resemblance is uncanny.
Two posters for Stallone's The Expendables were presented at ShoWest and they've refortified my testicles after the damage they sustained from watching the Eat, Pray, Love trailer. The first shows a chrome skull adorned with gun/knife wings (and bullet poops?). It can only be accurately described as "visual Pantera." The second isn't as cool. It's an Ed Hardyized picture of what Stallone would look like as a back tatt. Sandra Bullock would be wise to lock it away before her husband tries to have sex with it. (Collider)