We told you in July about Zhang Yimou's plan to remake Blood Simple. And in record time we have a trailer for the House of Flying Daggers director's take on the Coen Brother's classic. It seems like something may have been lost in translation.
Looks cuckoo-bananas to us Americans but this is business as usual for Asian audiences. To make matters far crazier, Yahoo also reports that this version will include 100% more rap than the original. They are reporting that Yimou himself has written a rap theme for the film and that he recently performed it on Chinese state television. So, an accomplished filmmaker has diverted from his career path to pursue rap at the risk of embarassing himself. Tread carefully Zhang Yimou. You don't want Joaquin Pheonix getting in your ass. (Yahoo)
Censorship has struck again, and not even Kevin Smith can wield his mighty sword to defeat it. The TV networks are prudes and don't like dirty words in their adveeeertissments (I wrote it like a proper British person would say it), so Smith's new comedy is changing "Dicks" to "Cops" for a title of A Couple of Cops, and the result is not double-entendre-y.This is disappointing because the new title doesn't make me giggle, it makes me drool. Maybe it's because I sometimes stick my pen too far up my nose, or it could be that it's so boring my brain seizes up in an effort to comprehend such a generic transformation. Hey, all you old people watching NCIS! You gonna have a heart attack if you see "Dicks" come up on screen? No, the WORD! Ahhhh, I can't talk to you people. (CinemaBlend)
Nikki Reed wrote the screenplay for the movie Thirteen at fifteen. It would have been more impressive if she would have written it at thirteen, but whatever. I guuuuess it's still quite an accomplishment. Now Nikki is reprising her role of Rosalie in New Moon. At 21 years of age. A word from Nikki: "I had hoped that girls all over the world would relate to Thirteen." I'm sure all the slutty, druggy ones did. Courtney Love probably balled while watching that movie. Balled right into her mound of cocaine. The pics after the jump will have you doing the opposite of balling.
Based off Hollywood's new obsession with optioning everything that has ever existed, I automatically assumed that the classic video game Space Invaders was making its way to the big screen. Thankfully I made an ass out of "me" and "umption." Tropic Thunder and Iron Man 2 scribe Justin Theroux has been brought onboard to rewrite and possibly direct the Will Arnett-vehicle Space Invader. The movie tells the story of a space shuttle janitor who flies to the International Space Station to cock-block a hunky astronaut who has designs on his astronaut girlfriend.Never thought I'd see the day that I was thankful for a Harland Williams retread but with standards as low as they are these days, beggars can't be choosers.
Paramount Home Entertainment put on a huge bash at L.A.'s Griffith Observatory to celebrate the release of Star Trek on DVD and Blu-ray and Screen Junkies caught up with J.J. Abrams on the black carpet. When asked if he would return for another impossible mission with Tom Cruise, Abrams indicated that he will serve as producer but has another film he's helming that will interfere with him directing another Mission: Impossible.“The one I’m directing hopefully next year, I’m just in the early stages of that or middle of that, which is probably going to preclude my availability for doing Mission,” Abrams said. “Although I so love what the script is, what the story is. Josh Appelbaum and Andre Nemec are writing a script and they’re doing an amazing job so I’m already sort of envious of whoever ends up directing that movie.”Don't feel too bad J.J.. I'm sure there are people out there that are jealous of Felicity. Somewhere.
Jeff Bridges may soon be able to wipe away the stigma of "Four Time Academy Award NOMINEE" from his title and add the coveted "Academy Award Winner." The trailer for Crazy Heart gives him a role as strong as Mickey Rourke's in The Wrestler, but replaces bright spandex with a good 'ol fashioned gee-tar. The Dude plays Bad Blake, a broke down country music singer looking to find salvation with the help of a journalist (instead of stripper this time) played by I-look-like-a-sad-turtle Maggie Gyllenhaal. As Blake and the turtle struggle down the road of redemption, they learn profound things about each other and themselves, and it changes their perception of the future. Basically.Check out the trailer after the jump.
Director: Scott CooperCast: Jeff Bridges; Maggie Gyllenhaal; Robert Duvall; Colin FarrellSynopsis: Bad Blake (Jeff Bridges) is a broken-down, hard-living country music singer who's had way too many marriages, far too many years on the road and one too many drinks way too many times. And yet, Bad can’t help but reach for salvation with the help of Jean (Maggie Gyllenhaal), a journalist who discovers the real man behind the musician.
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I turned out to be right when I reported last week that Rachel McAdams was definitely cast as Black Cat in Spider-Man 4 maybe. Today comes word from the actress that it is nothing more than an Internet rumor:“That’s a total rumor, I have to say,” the actress, who will next be seen in the Dec. 25 action-adventure tentpole Sherlock Holmes, tells EW. “I was hanging out in Toronto the other day and someone came up to me and said, ‘I just heard you’re doing Spider-Man 4.' And I said, ‘Really? No one told me!’ It’s not true.” A rep for Sony Pictures concurs: “It’s an Internet rumor, as so many things are these days.”See? So I was totally right possibly. But wait! There's more vague rumors surrounding the picture. A casting call for an adorable red-headed toddler went out yesterday leading many to speculate that Mary Jane Watson will be a mommy in the sequel. Whether the kid has any relation to Peter Parker remains to be seen. Casting will be difficult. They want a child who has both red hair and is adorable? Good luck dudes.(Entertainment Weekly)
Noot. Hehehe. What a silly name. It works in Aliens, but makes me giggle in the real world. Noot (hehehe, stop it!) is another model turned actress, and she's busting her career wide open by playing Heidi in New Moon. We'll see if she's got the goods, in an acting sense, by her ability to deliver more than a pouty expression.A word from Noot: "I think there’s something about flying that heightens emotion, because I was literally crying the whole way through each of those books."Of course flying heightens emotions. That's why (I've heard) sex in an airplane bathroom totally rocks. So put down your damn tween novel and go join the Mile High Club. Earns your wings by checking out more pics after the jump.
Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Finally the trailer for the sequel to Demonic Toys has hit! The footage for Demonic Toys 2: Personal Demons puts Avatar to shame. Who needs blue mutant cat people when you've got the dynamic duo of zombie baby and psycho jack in the box clown? James Cameron, hang your head in shame.Synopsis:
Dr. Lorca from Hideous! (Michael Citrini) is back and is continuing to collect strange odditites, along with the help of Caitlin (Alli Kinzel) and her boyfriend David (Lane Compton).
Period drama director Joe Wright is tucking away his Jane Austen boner for his next project. Focus Features is in talks with Wright to have him helm Hanna: an action-adventure-thriller that centers around a teenage assassin.Hanna is a 14 year-old Eastern European girl who was bred by the CIA to be a cold-blooded killer. After befriending a French family, she must fight to escape her grim destiny. Pffft. Teenagers. They have zero work ethic. "You are not going to the mall until you garrote the Prime Minister of Chechnya, young lady." (First Showing)
Bitch Slap is Quentin Tarantino's wet dream. It's a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the “B” Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950’s – 70’s, as well as a loving, sly parody of the same. Basically there are breasts, bombs, and bullets. Need more? Then get out of my house. Check out the trailer. Bitch Slap Trailer – Watch more Movie TrailersThen bitch slap these links. What Your Haircut Really Says About You (HolyTaco) Elizabeth Lambert is Looking for a Date (TotalProSports) Ed Hardy D-Bags (TheChive) Best Nickelback Cover of All Time (FilmDrunk) 15 Amazing Two-Headed Animals (SuperTremendous) Greatest Villains Portrayed by Comedians (Pajiba) Carrie Prejean Has a Whole Lotta Sex Tapes (CelebJihad) 10 Kick Ass Video Game Clowns (Unreality) Viagra Desserts are Delicious (Asylum) Jets-Raiders Chick Fight Because of the Face Kick (BustedCoverage) Japanese Blowup Doll Wrestling (RegretfulMorning) The Physics of Superheroes (MadeMan) Stewart Calls Earnhardt 'No Talent S.O.B.' (AllLeftTurns) Jamaican Catfight (NothingToxic) Intercourse with a Vampire (Atom)
Director: Rick JacobsonCast: Julia Voth, Erin Cummings, America OlivioSynopsis: Follows three bad girls (a down-and-out stripper, a drug-running killer and a corporate powerbroker) as they arrive at a remote desert hideaway to extort and steal $200 Million in diamonds from a ruthless underworld kingpin.
Watch out, it's a trite storyline!Courtney Cox (it pains me to type it) Arquette is definitely going to be in the Scream 4 sequel directed by Wes Craven, and she's definitely certain it's going to be about the characters we know from the other movies."There are really only a few of us that survived," Cox said, but she shrugged off rumors that her character, Gale Weathers, and Arquette's Dwight "Dewey" Riley will be killed off at the beginning of the film."They're probably back living in Woodsboro," Cox added, "I think that he's probably still deputy, and I've had a lot of kids. I don't know. I'm probably miserable, and then I'm sure a lot of murdering will happen."Sorry I didn't warn you about the spoilers. Murdering is going to happen, and Gale Weathers may or may not have a lot of kids. And David Arquette may still be retarded. It remains to be seen what they'll do with his character Dewey. ZING! (ComingSoon)
Why in God's name did they make Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans? It's not as if there's a huge fan base clamoring for a follow up to the original Bad Lieutenant. And fans of the original aren't exactly going to be thrilled to see their cult classic re-imaged as a Nicolas Cage vehicle. While we're at it, let's make Harold and Maude: Miami Heat or Eraserhead: Surreal in Sacramento. Even the director, Werner Herzog, wanted to change the title. After all, when you're making a movie about a crooked cop, you probably don't need a marketing ploy. Many films depicting good cops gone bad have gone on to become classics. Here are 10 of the greatest "dirty cop" films of all time. Dirty Harry – The Dirty Harry Series
The producers of Couples Retreat are coming under criticism for the UK version of the film's poster. Have a look at the above side-by-side comparison and you'll notice that Faizon Love and and Kali Hawk (the only black characters) have disappeared a la Marty McFly's siblings.The Daily Mail spoke with the studio and received this explanation:The studio said it regretted causing offence and has abandoned plans to use the revised poster in other countries… A Universal spokesman said the revised advert aimed ‘to simplify the poster to actors who are most recognisable in international markets’.Makes sense to me. Not everyone is as familiar with Who's Your Caddy? as I am. However I'm not convinced that this edit isn't fulfilling a racist agenda. Have a look at the below comparison of the US and the UK versions of The Original Kings Of Comedy poster. Racialists!! (Daily Mail)
Wilford Brimley, warm up your golden pipes. In 2007, Working Title bought the rights to the documentary Young@Heart. It tells the tale of an elderly choir who sing hits by newfangled rocking and rolling groups like The Clash, Coldplay, and the Ramones. Now, Will Reiser (writer of the upcoming I'm With Cancer) has been hired to pen a narrative remake of the doc. You can check out the trailer for the documentary below. I'll save you some time by describing it in two words: Oldz Bop. (THR)
The Broken Lizard guys are looking to pin their badges back on and hit the highway again. According to Jay Chandrasehkar, the leader of the pack,"We have the financing, so we're going to try to make a deal with Fox." Steve Lemme adds that they're "three drafts into it" and that they're much better off going to a studio with financing already setup. "It's a great thing to go to a studio and say, 'We have the money.'"Money is definitely a good thing. It helps the whole movie making process move more quickly. But Broken Lizard has had quite a few bombs lately, so we'll see if this project actually comes to fruition. If it does though, Brian Cox will be back whipping the wily officers into shape, and probably drinking while doing it. (FirstShowing)
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It's Friday the 13th. We had to show you something scary.If you were under the impression that director and Bagel Bites Eating Champ Brett Ratner is a talentless hack, you've got it all wrong. Not only has he directed some of the biggest movies of all time, but he'd also make for a great leading man. Don't believe me? Check out the hilariously creepy Ratner Films. I think you'll come 'round to my side of the fence.Oh yes, the me being pantless thing? Sorry about that. I don't get a lot of visitors on this side of the fence.
MTV caught up with Kevin Williamson to discuss one of his many projects. The busy writer talked about his update of Curtis Hanson's The Bedroom Window (which he is slated to make between Scream 4 and 5). The original The Bedroom Window was based on the book The Witnesses by Anne Holden. In Williamson's version, a man is sleeping with his boss's wife. One night after a little bump and grind, she witnesses a murder outside his bedroom window. Because their relationship has to be kept on low, the man steps in and acts as a witness to the murder. Soon the killer is on his tail. Sounds sexy and suspenseful but there's only one man who can handle this kind of drama. Paging R. Kelly. (MTV)
Forget about all the other stuff Marley Shelton has done, most importantly she was the hot lifeguard Wendy Peffercorn in the awesome movie The Sandlot. That film taught me to NEVER hit a ball over into James Earl Jones' yard. He'll rape you, kill you, and bury you in the crawl space in his basement. Wait, that's the The Sandlot, right? A word from Marley: "See how fast my friends work…….you'll never see me again……"Marley must hang out with a rogue band of sorcerers and magicians. That's a rough group, let me tell you. I never messed with those guys in high school. Their lunch table always smelt like burnt hair.I bet Marley smells like roses in the pics after the jump.
We're making money right now. Hahahaha! Adam Sandler and the rest of his friends are starring in the movie Grown Ups, adapted from a Dockers commercial. I'm sure a lot will get lost in translation though, like the humor, so we'll have to watch a bunch of formerly hilarious comedians fishing instead of personable model-types. In all honesty though, why the hell wouldn't this group make this movie? They're guaranteed sh*tloads of benjamins, and they get to hang out, laugh, and swing from ropes all day. Sure, Chris Farley is throwing a tantrum in heaven over the sight of Kevin James playing a role clearly intended for him, but I think we all know digitally placing him in the film wouldn't have worked out any better. The ground breaking concept of Grown Ups is about five good friends reuniting for a Fourth of July holiday weekend thirty years after their high school graduation. No, it's not The Big Chill. I know, but no. Check out the teaser trailer after the jump.
Director: Dennis DuganCast: Adam Sandler, Selma Hayek, David Spade, Chris Rock, Kevin James, Rob SchneiderSynopsis: Thirty years after their high school graduation, five good friends reunite for a Fourth of July holiday weekend.
Hollywood has made a habit of remaking foreign horror films these last few years. Studios have searched the corners of the globe to make movies such as The Ring, Quarantine, and Let Me In. But there is one nation that has been left unexplored — Canada. I've stumbled upon the trailer for a Canadian horror film so ghastly and terrifying that it will make you LOSE. YOUR. MIND. There's no release date yet for this northern gem but I'm sure it's going to be packed full of either sh*t or danger. My gut is tellin' me danger. In honor of today being Friday the 13th, I present Sexman VS. Jason Part 2. Make sure you watch all the way to the end.
Back in September, Sylvester Stallone announced that he'd be going toe-to-toe with a were-beast super soldier hybrid in the fifth Rambo film. Fan reaction was not so good. In fact, Stallone wrote this impassioned letter in defense of this departure in creative direction. Well all that doesn't matter now because Stallone is taking the cheaper way out and hiring Mexican day laborers to play the heavies in the film.Addressing fans at StalloneZone, the actor said:"To all the loyal SZoners out there,I'm letting you know that Rambo has changed course and the story about hunting the man/beast will be done using another character in the lead. RAMBO himself will be heading over the border to a violent city where many young women have vanished.There will be blood.""There will be blood." Haha. I think it's cute when old people use the Internet. (StalloneZone)
Million Dollar Baby in 5 Seconds – Watch more Funny VideosThe guys at Holy Taco shared this with me, and it's so damn funny I had to post it as well. If you know how the movie ends, watch it. If you don't know how the movie ends, watch it. You'll giggle and probably tinkle in your pants a little.Train your index finger by clicking on these links. Flowchart to Determine If You Should Fap To It (HolyTaco) Macho Man Randy Savage Interviews (TotalProSports) Barcode Art That Actually Works (TheChive) 10 Funniest Movie Marquee Mistakes of All Time (SuperTremendous) Iguanas & Breakdancing: The Bad Lieutenant Review (FilmDrunk) 10 Boneheaded Hollywood Projects in Development (Pajiba) Britney Spears Admits to Worshiping the Devil (CelebJihad) 50 Worst Acted One-Liners in Video Game History (Unreality) What Actor Do You Hate the Most? (Asylum) Brooke Hundley Cries Like a Little C-Word (BustedCoverage) Hot Girl Vs. Hardwood Floor (RegretfulMorning) Adventure Sports That Take You Places (MadeMan) Earnhardt Jr. at Country Music Awards (AllLeftTurns)