Sorry for the crappy bootleg version, but it's the best quality that exists online right now. You'll have to go to the theaters this weekend to see a better version of this three-minute Cliff's Notes epic on the big screen. Then… AND ONLY THEN… can we fairly judge the film's entire worth.
A quick trip over to Rotten Tomatoes will show you that Amelia, which opens this weekend, has a favorable rating of about 20%. For those of you who don’t know, that percentage means the movie sucks on a collective level. But you probably didn‘t need some Tomatometer, scientific as it is, to tell you that. After all, does the real life story of the first woman to not fly around the world sound exciting? Christ, why didn’t they just make a movie about my grandma? She didn’t fly around the world either, but unlike Amelia Earhart, she didn’t have a butch haircut. Plus, my grandma made some delicious pierogi. All Amelia made was a wrong turn.*My point is this: if for some reason you are going to make a movie about someone who didn’t do something, there are a lot more impressive failures to choose from. Here are five of them.Marv Levy and the Buffalo Bills – Not Winning Super Bowls
Tanedra Howard was the winner of Scream Queens on VH1 this past season, and her prize? A part in the new Saw movie. That Saw movie? Saw VI. Let's hope her performance as a woman in distress attached to a medieval torture device skyrockets her to fame and fortune. Or at least lands her a role in Saw VII as a woman in distress attached to a medieval torture device. A word from Tanedra: "I like drama, and I would love to do action. Blow me up, throw me from a plane, let me jump off a building."That's stunt work, not acting. It may be easier to find employment, but the Academy won't recognize you as an integral and award-worthy element of cinema. You ever see Meryl Streep get thrown out of a plane, save the infamous scene from Kramer Vs. Kramer?Check out more scream queen pics after the jump (out of a plane)!
Do you remember the frustration you felt when viewing Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Did you want to unleash your inner-Christian Bale on the filmmakers after that lazy attempt? Good news! Now you can own a piece of that cinematic turkey turd with this brand new "Nuke The Fridge" 12-inch figure!Actually all 600 of the limited edition have been sold out at $175 a pop. Sounds like a rousing success. Hopefully this means we will get more groan-worthy moments from film playsets. Such as Batman's Shark Repellent or Jeff Goldblum Uploading A Virus To the ID4 Aliens. (Sideshow Toys via /Film)
UGO reports that unsung actor Dylan Baker confirmed he will be making a return to the Marvel Universe in Sam Raimi's forthcoming Spider-Man sequel. In fact he had received his first call regarding the film just yesterday. Baker has appeared in both Spider-Man 2 and 3 as Dr. Curt Conners, better known as the web-slinger's scaly nemesis, The Lizard. Baker also reportedly stated that he would essentially have a background role, but no one is sure whether or not it's a joke and he'll finally transform from a mild-mannered Empire State University professor into the lab coat-wearing reptile. You can currently see Dylan Baker in screenwriter-turned writer-director Michael Dougherty's Trick 'r Treat, available on DVD. While you're waiting for it to arrive on Netflix, check out today's top links:5 Horror Films Reviewed By You At Ages 10 and 24 (HolyTaco) 12 Amazing Sports Etch-A-Sketch (TotalProSports) Behold, The Reverse Photobomb (TheChive) Amputee Needed To Complete Halloween Costume (FilmDrunk) Parachuting Into Qualcomm Stadium (SuperTremendous) The Most Generic Actors In Hollywood (Pajiba) J Simpson And G Butler Hookup (CelebJihad) 12 Hitler Rants Toward Video Games (Unreality) 7 Real Movie Titles That Sound Like Porn (Asylum) Cheerleader Jayme Hamilton Lives The Jaguars Dream (BustedCoverage) Dirty, Dirty Pug Love (RegretfulMorning) Surfing The Internet Makes You Smarter (MadeMan) Carl Edwards Baby Shower Gifts (AllLeftTurns)
Director: Sam RaimiCast: Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Dylan Baker, Bruce CampbellSynopsis: TBD
A new clip from Robert Zemeckis's A Christmas Carol has crash landed like your embarrassment of an uncle after a few too many eggnog cocktails. That's a compliment. To the movie. Your uncle's a mess.If you're not familiar with the Dickens classic, then don't watch, because for some reason the studio decided to put the ending online before the movie hits theaters. If you are familiar with it, then I encourage you to watch, if only to see how far Zemeckis's animated filmmaking has come since Polar Express, in which all the characters looked like they hailed from the Village of the Damned. But this time around, Scrooge and company actually seem like they have soul. Not James Brown level, or even on the level of your fat uncle when he busts out the soundtrack to The Commitments and tries to sing along, which only ends up getting the cats all hot and bothered. But it's a step in the right direction.
Typical "Entertainment Tonight" puff piece here, but something worth checking out at the 1:30 mark. Is it just us, or does District 9's Sharlto Copley, who's been cast as Howlin' Mad Murdock, look a whole helluvalot like Dirk Benedict's version of Face from the original "A-Team" series?
I like to think of Shawnee Smith as the face of the Saw franchise mainly because Tobin Bell and a creepy puppet aren't much to look at. James Wan, the original director of Saw, had a crush Shawnee since he was 14, which is why he decided to cast her as Amanda. Now she's been getting hypodermic needles in her arms and reverse bear traps clamped to her face for years now, and I'm sure she couldn't be happier about it. A word from Shawnee: "One of the most breathtaking moments in my life was meeting Anthony Cumia. His boyish charm really moved me." If you think meeting a morning talkshow disc jockey is breathtaking wait until you meet a writer of an entertainment blog. Those guys'll knock your socks off with their boyish charm and rugged, Cheetos covered fingertips. Check out more breathtaking moments of still photography after the jump!
Not only is she easy on the eyes, but she’s got some acting chops as well.
Thanks to Marc Ecko and his new Black Rhino Collection, you can finally dress like your favorite psychopath without worrying about catching a light chill. Ecko has released new hoodies in the likenesses of The Joker, The Batman, The Jason, and The Saw Puppet. Knocking over gas stations has never been so stylish.Star Wars hoodies have been out there for awhile now and I'm really enjoying this fad. I eagerly await the day that it goes full-Elmo. Gangsta. (/Film)
Hot Chicks Trapped in a Cave – Watch more Funny Videos According to the end critic quote in the above trailer, The Descent 2 is the "Feel sh*t scared film of the decade." I'm not quite sure where on the unofficial Scare Meter 'sh*t scared' lands, but it's gotta be well above 'piss scared.' I've been piss scared before but never sh*t scared, nor do I have the desire to become so frightened by a film that it causes me to involuntarily evacuate my bowels right smack dab there in the theater. You think pop corn butter's hard to get up… The trailer does have a few good moments, but in order to beat its predecessor it's going to have to work all kinds of magic, or provide laxitives upon theater entrance. Today's links are full of fun and fiber! Flow Chart To Determine What Religion You Should Follow (HolyTaco) Kimi Raikkonen's Ferrari Set On Fire (TotalProSports) The Juxtaposition Of People And Signs (TheChive) Patrick Bateman Was Based On Tom Cruise (FilmDrunk) 20 Examples Of Going Green Gone Wrong (SuperTremendous) Your First R-Rated Movie Theater Experience (Pajiba) Model Marisa Miller Changing Bikinis (CelebJihad) A Visual Guide To Twist Endings (Unreality) Picking Up Women On Halloween Made Simple (Asylum) Brooke Hundley Letter To Steve Phillips' Wife (BustedCoverage) Balloon Boy Neighbor Fist Fights Media (RegretfulMorning) What Your Cocktail Says About You (MadeMan) How To Jimme-Proof The Chase (AllLeftTurns) Car Eager For Cupcakes (NothingToxic) Legend Of Neil Season Finale (Atom)
Jon Stewart reacts to Senator Al Franken proposing the Pentagon shouldn't hire contractors who make their employees agree not to sue if they're raped by co-workers.Slam dunk indeed, Mr. Stewart.
YouTuber jkpyle posted this impressive mashup trailer, which runs Darren Aronofsky's The Wrestler through the grindhouse. What comes out is as bloody and chills-inducing as Randy "The Ram" Robinson's hand after he caught it in the deli slicer.
Below are a couple new clips from This Is It, the Michael Jackson tribute film that arrives in theaters next week for a 2-week limited run that we're sure, based on pre-ordered tickets alone, will get extended. The first clip is a featurette that gives us a glimpse of just how huge this concert tour was going to be and how meticulous the preparation had to be to pull it all off.
Every new image or clip of The Wolfman gets me less and less excited for the film's release… and now comes the second full trailer, which ends up playing out like some sort of Victorian version of The Fast & The Furious.
Welcome to Cougar Town. Betsy Russell may be in her forties, but damn if she doesn't make us do a double take. She's been starring in the Saw movies as Jill since Saw III, but you may better remember her in the role of 'Girl' in a 1982 episode of Family Ties. Also, we can't show you the NSFW pics on our site, but Betsy rode horseback in Private School…without a shirt. Sounds painful. A word from Betsy: "Saw VI answers the question, 'What's in my box?'"(Slack-jawed blank stare) One ticket, please! First, Betsy's box and then Cameron Diaz's next month. The mysteries of the universe are about to be revealed to us. The pics after the jump deliver, but not as much as you'd hope.
The Prisoner Trailer – Watch more Funny Videos Jesus and Magneto star in the new AMC six-part miniseries, "The Prisoner," which premieres on Sunday, November 15th @ 8pm ET/PT and airs in two-hour blocks over three consecutive nights. We don't want to give too much away from this mysterious remake, so here's the basic setup: a man known as Six (Jim Caviezel) finds himself trapped in a bizarre place called the "The Village" led by a man known as Two (Ian McKellen). Two holds the secrets of escape, and Six must defeat him — or else stay in The Village forever. Will Six escape? Or will Two do a wet version of his namesake all over Six's plans? Tune in to find out. Six times Two is Twelve, which is the number of links below minus One: How To Pull Off An Internet Hoax (HolyTaco) 20 Amazing Sports Fan Tattoos (TotalProSports) Why You Miss Summer (TheChive) 10 Weirdest Celebrity Japanese Commercials (SuperTremendous) Bella Swan Vs. The Scary Ethnic Wolves (FilmDrunk) Ten Most Generic Looking Hollywood Actresses (Pajiba) Octomom Has A Crush On Jon Gosselin (CelebJihad) The Scariest Movie Characters Under 5 Feet Tall (Unreality) A Woman's Perspective On Dutch Ovens (Asylum) Tim Tebow's Virginity Is Questioned (BustedCoverage) 17 Examples Of Cute Girls In Daisy Dukes (RegretfulMorning) The Droid Is An iPhone Killer (MadeMan) 25 Hottest Women In Motorsports (AllLeftTurns)
If you're a homophobic straight guy, you might want to shut the eff up right now, because Rob Marshall's man-lovin' ass is about to make it rain hetero-boner pills with his new movie, called Nine. Yes, it's a musical. And yes, it has dancing and singing. And guess what, bro? Those dancing and singing women happen to be a scantily clad Penelope Cruz, Marion Cotillard, and Nicole Kidman. So when you're fap-fap-fappin' it up to this here video clip, don't finish by saying gay guys never did nothing for you.
The 120-minute Warner Brothers presentation at Comic-Con 2009 made for one of the hottest talking points at the event, not for the Where the Wild Things Are footage or the A Nightmare on Elm Street trailer that finally showed up online the other day… but for Cameron Diaz's potentially massive spoiler slip-up during the presentation for Richard Kelly's third film,The Box, starring Diaz, James Marsden and Frank Langella. We won't remind anyone of the specifics, but suffice it to say that the slip could turn out to have been fairly egregious. The producers have kept pretty mum since, but some new production stills from the film have arrived online, and we have a handful of them for you after the jump. We think you'll agree that the film's 1970s setting, paired with the compositions and unsettling subject matter have turned Richard Matheson's short story, "Button, Button," into some meticulous, cool Kubrickian nightmare.
Director: Rob Marshall Cast: Daniel Day-Lewis, Penelope Cruz, Nicole Kidman, Marion Cotillard, Judi Dench Synopsis: Famous film director Guido Contini struggles to find harmony in his professional and personal lives, as he engages in dramatic relationships with his wife, his mistress, his muse, his agent, and his mother.
Finally the long national wait for the actually good Avatar trailer is over. Coming Soon (tee-hee) reports that a 3 minute and 30 second trailer featuring a hefty amount of story will premiere in theaters this Friday. No word yet on which film it will be attached to but this is said to be THE trailer. The most epic, shart-inducing, nipple-tingling visual feat ever rendered. The film is set to open in less than two months so expect a huge marketing push for this one. In other words, it's about to get Avatarded in here.Shut-ins and bubble people sadly will have to wait until Thursday, October 29th to view the trailer online. Damn! That's not nearly enough time to hone and perfect the intricacies of my CCH Pounder Halloween costume.
Every year, Nerdcore releases a special calendar paying tribute to pop culture with sexy pinup girls. The 2010 Calendar, currently available for pre-order, is a bloody, beautiful homage to horror flicks, and it's a perfectly timed Halloween gift for any discerning masturbator of the macabre friend you may have. According to Nerdcore, "no genre has been more synonymous with nerds and nudity than horror," and we couldn't agree more. Their 4th annual calendar features cover model Jana Jordan getting paranormal with a TV set, sultry scream queen Justine Joli in the most vintage of psychotic shower scenes, Bobbi Starr sewn together (literally) in a more naked version of Frankenstein, as well as Aria Giovanni, Kayla Jane Danger, Karlie Montana, Mosh, and Zoli Suicide getting their scream on. Check out some of the hot, nearly NSFW photos after the jump. Can you guess all the horror movies to which the photos pay tribute? Does it really even matter?
Where the Wild Things Are arrived this past weekend, and it pretty much turned out to be a therapy session with a bunch of clinically depressed forty-somethings dressed like furries. So when we heard that "We Were Once a Fairytale," the Spike Jonze-directed film starring Kanye West, hit the Web today, it was the news equivalent of a Xanax. We have the 11-minute piece here, minus the first minute or so. Spoiler alert: it's effing weird.
The Weinstein Company has rounded up all the major players for its upcoming Scream sequel. Writer Kevin Williamson, stars Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox-Arquette, David Arquette, and now according to Cinema Blend, director Wes Craven are all set to return to Scream 4. Which I'm happy isn't titled Scre4m and isn't planned to be a gimmicky 3D movie. Though production isn't set to begin for another six months, so give them time. Give them time.
For a company with a treasure trove of box office booty thanks to movie pirates, Disney sure is taking a hard stance against the online Captain Jack Sparrows of the world. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Walt Disney Co. chief executive Bob Iger believes technology companies are coming out smelling like roses in the PR war… at the expense of Hollywood. The result? Policing illegal activity online will get even more difficult than it already is:
Drew Struzan is one of the most influential movie poster artists to ever adapt motion pictures into a one-sheet piece of paper and still manage to embody everything the flick is about. He's worked on posters for Indiana Jones, Star Wars, and Harry and the Hendersons, just to name a few. A complete list of his work can be seen on his gallery page, but we've chosen our 25 favorite here, most of which are without the movie's title. Can you name all the films?
"The casualties of war were nothing compared to the casualties of the Dave Matthews Band's Normandy concert."These weekend links are FUBAR!!!Sex Excuse Bingo (HolyTaco)Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Forgets His Line On Jeopardy (TotalProSports)More Lovely Ladies Of Facebook (TheChive)Sense And Sensibility And Mexicans (FilmDrunk)The Amazing Juggling Karamazov Brothers (SuperTremendous)11 Reasons Why The Twilight Phenomenon Is Scary (Pajiba)Robert Pattinson Teaches How To Beat Up Dogs (CelebJihad)Every Kramer Entrance From Seinfeld Ever (Unreality) The Worse Video Game C*ckblockers (Asylum)Oklahoma Fan Lets Ass Crack Breath (BustedCoverage)4Chan Recruits Balloon Boy (RegretfulMorning)U.S. Military Developing Lightsabers (MadeMan)NASCAR Halloween Costume Photo Contest (AllLeftTurns)Drink British Asshole Headbutts Cute Girl (NothingToxic)Dinner Party Dirty Talk (Atom)
Basically, Maggie Q is badass. Not only was she a formidable foe for John McClane in Live Free or Die Hard, but never has a flak jacket looked so good on a female form. She's the kind of woman who can make you putty in her hands with a single sultry glance, and then take your head clean off with a perfectly executed roundhouse kick. It's a blend of constant arousal and fear that keeps a relationship fresh, and endless refills of your Xanax very necessary. A word from Maggie: "Nigga please! I am not anorexic, I am petite because you can't get FAT from eating field mice and rice; hey that rhymes…"I have no idea what the above gibberish means but if came out of Maggie's mouth I'll take it as gospel. I just hope she's moved beyond field mice as a source of sustenance. 'Cause doz field mice be naaaasty!Look at the antithesis of nasty after the jump!
Where the Wild Things Are opens this weekend, and a lot of early reviews are saying that the film is too mature for young audiences… that they've somehow made a children's story into an adult film, thereby alienating the intended audience.Of course, none of this would be a problem if we just exposed our children to R-Rated topics at an early age. We suggest Hollywood partner with children's book publishers to help introduce kids to R-Rated fare as early as the kids can read. Here's our list of required reading: