Who needs coffee in the morning when you can inject the Clash of the Titans teaser trailer into your eyeballs?! Holy crap, I am pumped! I was hoping for giant scorpians or mutant sand-people, but I never expected both. Not to mention all the leaping. I don't think I've ever seen so much leaping and bounding in one single minute. Sam Worthington jumps into canyons, over canyons, around canyons, and there's usually fire trailing him. The official synopsis for the film is that it follows Perseus on his quest to battle Medusa and the Kraken in order to save the Princess Andromeda. Hey, whatever, there's rock music accompanied by a symthony orchestra. It's really the only way to score a brutal battle between the Gods. And if I'm not mistaken, is that Slash playing in the desert?
If you're having trouble deciding what to dress up as this Thanksgiving, the Kick-Ass teaser has debuted just in time with ample options. The movie follows Aaron Johnson's Kick-Ass, a DIY hero who lacks superpowers but carries two big sticks. Also glimpsed in this trailer are Chloe Moretz as Hit Girl, Nicolas Cage as Big Daddy, and McLovin as Red Mist. I'm hoping this movie is as good as everyone purports it to be. As of right now, I am worried that we've got another Zombieland on our hands.Check out the trailer after the jump.
Up in the Air Co-Pilot Trailer – Watch more Movie Trailers An extended trailer for Jason Reitman's Up In The Air is now online and, sadly, it has nothing to do with Kevin Bacon scouting the Masai for kick-ass basketball players. But fear not, fans of slight racism, it does include George Clooney's tips for traveling. For instance, you should never get in a security line behind old people due to their love for hidden metals. The Asians on the other hand are your best option because of their efficient packing methods and penchant for slip-on shoes. God love them indeed. Click on these links. If you're old, you'll want to use the "mouse" device to do so. 10 Best TV Neighbors (HolyTaco) Jenn Sterger is Getting Rid of Her Money-Makers (TotalProSports) Sooo, You Got Wasted (TheChive) No One Can tell Twilight Douches Apart (FilmDrunk) When a Parrot Loves a Bunny (SuperTremendous) 5 Breakfast Cereals Meant for Adaptation (Pajiba) Lohan Was Dating Ledger When He Died (CelebJihad) When Patrick Stewart Invades Everything (Unreality) Does Maybe Really Mean No? (Asylum) 7 Greatest Lingerie Football Photo Crops of 2009 (BustedCoverage) If Children Created Swine Flu Cures (RegretfulMorning) How to De-Stress at Work (MadeMan) Flowchart: Is NASCAR For You? (AllLeftTurns)
Director: Sebastian GutierrezCast: Carlo Gugino, Adrianne Palicki, Connie Britton Synopsis: A serpentine day in the life of ten seemingly disparate women: a porn star, a flight attendant, a psychiatrist, a masseuse, a bartender, a pair of call girls, etc. All of them with one crucial thing in common. Trouble.
What Len Wiseman most likely did this past weekend: watched Mad Max while saying "Awesome" several times, banged his wife Kate Beckinsale, drove really fast, and had a brilliant idea to direct a new take on a post- apocalyptic thriller. Hmmmmmmmm did one of these things influence this "original" idea, Len? Wiseman, director of Underworld, Live Free Or Die Hard, and several other movies that are currently floating in the studio system ether, has become attached to the FOX project Nocturne. It's about a group of people who survive the end of the world and the mystery surrounding how they got through it. Goodness gracious, how do they come up with this stuff? Rod Serling was squeezing these concepts out into a toilet bowl half a century ago.Writers Jeremy Passmore and Andre Fabrizio have already completed a draft of the script, and FOX has already told them to blow. Maybe they'll get Roland Emmerich on board to rewrite the script. He'll alter the concept slightly and turn it into an alien invasion movie. FOX will poor millions into production, market it, release it, and on opening night it'll suddenly hit them. "Sh*t, we just remade Independence Day!"It'll make millions. Len Wiseman will laugh. And bang his wife Kate Beckinsale.
Beatrice Rosen is French. Sexy right? I bet you couldn't tell that from her photo. You might also recognize her as Bruce Wayne's preeminent ballerina date in The Dark Knight. Don't get confused, she played a Russian. A word from Beatrice: "In this first series, Commando Nanny, I had one of the lead roles. But ultimately fate didn’t allow this show to make it.No, Commando Nanny?! Oh come on, that premise sounds awesome! Its downfall was most likely do to a competing project that year: Green Beret Butler.Salute more pics after the jump. Yes, like that.
Yeesh. So many Spiderman 4 rumors going around lately that I feel like I'm enrolled at Spiderman Regional High. We recently told you that Dylan Baker would be returning to the role of Dr. Curt Connors. That lead to speculation that the Lizard would finally metamorph onto the big screen. And now the latest rumors have Rachel McAdams (or maybe Romola Garai) being considered to play the Black Cat in the webslinger's fourth flick. Please bear in mind that NONE of this news is official. Though I'm sure everyone would be excited to see McAdams don the pleather.Honestly though, I wish the rumor mill would cease. If so many people continue to go in and out of Spiderman, soon it's going to be more than his spidey sense that's tingling. And the school nurse doesn't have a lotion for that. Trust me… (First Showing)
Oh hell yes, Will Smith. Oh hell yes. Pull the scissors away from your tongue, they'll be no self-mutilation for you. The Steven Spielberg directed, Will Smith starring remake of Old Boy has hit a snag. The kind of snag that tears you open and you bleed out. Apparently producers Dreamworks and Mandate couldn't reach an agreement as they strived to get the rights to the original manga, and both parties decided to say f*ck it. Except Spielberg said it with a bit of a lisp, and Smith just shook his head with a pained expression.Regardless of how it went down, fans of the original film can rejoice. Plans for an inevitabley watered-down Hollywood remake are dead. Sometimes dark, violent, complex, and intriguing foreign projects are too good for this Western world. You may have won this time, Japan. But don't you worry, we'll turn another one of your movies into popcorn bullsh*t reeeeeal soon, ya heard?! (CinemaBlend)
Looks like Roland Emmerich is at it again. Of course, if you watch cable news like I do, the end of the world certainly looks inevitable. Perhaps Mr. Emmerich will be taken more seriously when he's called a Documentarian. At least that seems like a better title than "Prophet of Doom." Either way, he loves coming up with ways to destroy crap. But, in the interest of science, let's take a closer look at the potential ends of the world, as described by Nostradamus Roland Emmerich: Today's Marquee Links"I'm On A Boat" Celebration (Video)
***Sigh*** When will Hollywood stop playing host to such vicious, celebratory depictions of retired-boxer-on-fish violence? The trailer for Broken Lizard's Slammin' Salmon easily sets the movement back at least 11 days. Maybe 12.Check it out after the jump and start picketing. Fish hooks aren't for fish! Fish hooks aren't for fish!
A restaurant staff must cater to the whims of an insane pugilist.
No man can resist a good catfight. It usually occurs when two, or God willing, multiple women desire the same thing, and a viscerale settlement of the dispute erupts through clawing and vicious tickling. In the case of the Garza Twins, the sisters both wanted a role in the comedy Transylmania, and when the director left the room at the audition they vied for it. And oh is the vieing sweet. Check out the blonde-on-blonde action after the jump. You can watch the trailer for Transylmania here, and even enter a contest where the winner gets to go out on a date with the Garza Twins. If you're lucky, at the end of night they'll be throwin' down over you. You can thank me with a video of the brawl. Transylmania opens December 4th.
Directors: David & Scott HillenbrandCast: Patrick Cavanaugh, James DeBello, Jennifer Lyons Synopsis: Spoof horror in which a group of college kids do a semester abroad in Romania and realise that if the partying doesn't kill them, the vampires just might!
Thandie Newton got sexually assaulted by Matt Dillon. In the movie Crash! Whoa, that came awfully close to libel. I should pay greater attention to my punctuation. Anyway, look for Thandie as Laura Wilson in 2012 this weekend, a film guaranteed to sexually assault your senses. A word from Thandie: "I want more babies."(The sound of 10,000 men retreating). No babies, but more pics after the jump.
"That's a huuuge bitch!!!!"There are conflicting reports about Avatar's final pricetag. Cameron and crew insist that the film cost $230 million but the New York Times guesses that it will top out around $500 million after marketing costs. At any rate, that's a lot of scratch. Is it even possible for the film to make back its money? Even if you factor in die-hard Cameron fans, the Christmas crowd, and Michelle Rodriguez's relatives, it still seems like kind of a stretch.But don't worry. FOX has a plan. The studio is going to release Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeekquel (because chipmunks squeek?) one week after Avatar's release. Sound plan FOX. If at first you don't succeed, show them your sh*t-eating chipmunks. (io9)
This past Sunday, a “Parade of 1000 Rockys” kicked off at Love Park in Philadelphia with a march of 1000 Rockys – all wearing striking gold and black Rocky Balboa – “The Italian Stallion” Robes – en route to the Philadelphia Museum of Art, and capped off with Celebration of Rocky Block-Style party at the popular “Rocky Statue” situated at the base of the “Rocky Steps”. The Celebration was to promote “ROCKY – THE UNDISPUTED COLLECTION”, featuring all six ROCKY films FINALLY together on Blu-ray. The festivities included a Rocky look-a-like contest, Snapple giveaways, hot, melty cheesesteaks, and Danny Bonaduce's gravely voice. With so many Italian Stallions working up a sweat in the heart of the Philly, a thick cloud of Drakkar Noir loomed over the city until early this morning.
H-h-heeyyyyy!! Move over 1980's nostalgia because here comes an unexpected dose of 1990's "oh yeah, hey, I remember that vaguely." In further Jamie-Foxx-doesn't-want-another-Oscar news, it has been announced that he will star alongside Martin Lawrence in Sheneneh and Wanda. The title characters are the ghetto-fabulous pigeon-heads, Sheneneh Jenkins and Wanda Reid, made popular on the TV programs Martin and In Living Color. Based upon a parody trailer made for the BET Awards, the movie has the winndixie chicks robbing banks to get by. Check out the trailer after the jump. It's what Set It Off would have been like if Queen Latifah had played all the roles. (Variety)
Ewoks, martinis, and live television broadcasts don't mix. Here's a clip from the Today Show's Halloween Special where apparently drunk Ewoks took over the arts and crafts segment by moonwalking and molesting the meteorologist. If an Ewok had humped the real Han Solo's leg and not Al Roker dressed as Han Solo, you'd better believe he'd get a quick light saber neutering and sent to bed with no dinner. The entire clip is amusing, but fast forward to 3:30 in to get the real dirty action.
Distracted by his colorful toy, little Jason wondered right into a Mexican standoff.Here are today's links:Dive Bar Bingo (HolyTaco) Soccer Bully Elizabeth Lambert Suspended Indefinitely (TotalProSports) Kristy, the Hottest Girl on Facebook? (TheChive) Jessica Alba Gettin' Belted (FilmDrunk) The Rain Storm Choir (SuperTremendous) One-Flick Wonders (Pajiba) Pictures of Marisa Miller From Her Blog (CelebJihad) Top 10 Superhero Movies of All Time (Unreality) Robot Hands Are the Wave of the Future (Asylum) Where in the World is Jenn Brown? (BustedCoverage) Flowchart: Should I Buy Her a Drink? (RegretfulMorning) How to Make Perfect Playlists (MadeMan) Townley Gets Childress Nationwide Ride (AllLeftTurns) Brutal Punch Combo Ends High School Fight (NothingToxic) Milk Men – Mad Men Parody (Atom)
The first poster for Joe Johnston's The Wolfman arrived online today. The production has had its fair share of problems and as much as I hate to jump on the hater bandwagon, I've got to say, I'm really just not that impressed with the makeup effects. Seems too low-fi.RELATED JUNK: Middle Aged Wolf
In the past, we've told you all about Mystery Team. The sketch group that created the indie, Derrick Comedy (Community's Donald Glover, DC Pierson, and Dominic Dierkes), is back with a new short entitled, "Boy Band." Give it a watch. You'll never look at your dad's friends the same way again. Derrick Comedy Boy Band Short – Watch more Funny Videos And if you've yet to see Mystery Team, you need to DEMAND it comes to your town. Find out how after the jump.
If you can't tell by the deliberately well-lit and posed photo above, Evelina Oboza is amodel with minor film and television credits. She played "Hot Blond" in Scrubs, more perfect casting I cannot imagine, and now she's starring in The Box, probably as a hot blond without the blatant title. A word from Evelina: "I like horses."She didn't really say that, but based on the pics after the jump I totally believe it's something she would say.Watch the sexy farmhand do her thing!
The Box opens in theaters this weekend, much to the delight of horny teenage guys who are eager to put irony into action by snickering loudly from the comfort of their local cinemas. But rather than take the low, sweet, moist road of the double entendre, I decided to keep my mind out of the gutter (for the most part). As a result, I've come up with a list of 10 literal boxes from film and television that have made a lasting impact in my pathetic little life. Enjoy, and let me know if your favorite storage compartment isn't on the list.
Dick in a Box Video
The Dick Box
If you had to pick one event that transformed Justin Timberlake from a douche-bag boy bander into a semi-tolerable celebrity, the “Dick in a Box" video would have to be it. He owes a lot to that box, and to Andy Samberg.
Twilight hottie Ashley Greene has signed on to star in The Apparition. In the supernatural thriller, Greene portrays one half of a young couple who are terrorized by an evil spirit that is unleashed after a college experiment goes awry. Typically college experimentation means turning ordinary household items into bongs and a little girl-on-girl so it should be interesting to see how either of those activities conjures a ghost. The film will be produced under Joel Silver's Dark Castle banner and is said to be based on real events. Now, is this based on true events in the bullpoop way that Milla Jovovich's The Fourth Kind is allegedly a true story? Or is it true like the time I once ate 74 King Crab legs in one sitting? Nobody believed I could do it but I proved the skeptics wrong. The truth is out there. (Empire)
Paranormal Goat – Watch more Funny Videos Here's a new ad for The Men Who Stare At Goats that gets the goat of Paranormal Activity. See what I did there? I feel sorry for the clean up crew in that theater. We see the goats covering their eyes to shield themselves from The Clooney, but chances are they're simultaneously crapping their goat britches. Stare at this links and see if they stare back… 25 Girls Playing Football in Their Underwear (HolyTaco) Greatest Pee Wee Football Trick Play Ever (TotalProSports) Ferrari Theme Park in Dubai (TheChive) 2012 + Raising Arizona = Awesome (FilmDrunk) 15 Tastiest Foods on a Stick (SuperTremendous) Redford Gets His John Wilkes Booth (Pajiba) Kristen Stewart is a Lesbian (CelebJihad) I Miss Gene Hackman (Unreality) 10 Things Not to Say to a Female Poker Player (Asylum) Pedro Martinez Can Go Back to Being Fat (BustedCoverage) I Heart Japan Doing the Splits (RegretfulMorning) Marry a Smart Girl, Love Longer (MadeMan) Texas Crash Videos (AllLeftTurns)
If you're anything like me you're A.) pants-sh*ttingly attractive and B.) a big fan of Teen Wolf and Teen Wolf-related humor. Despite his questionable basketball skills, there's something about the film and character that perserveres nearly twenty-five years later. But were you ever curious what became of Scott Howard? Was his experience as the Wolf enough to boost his confidence and set him on the path to an exciting life? Or did he end up just another corporate drone stamped down by the drudgery of work? Filmmaker Marc Milstein asked himself the same question and his answer, the second one.Great work from all the guys in Substitute Scientist: Michael Capes, Marc Milstein, and Rene Gube. We look forward to the next installment of Middle Aged Wolf.
The game of global domination has a new uphill battle: development hell. Sony and Overbrook Entertainment, Big Willy Smith's company, added Risk to the slew of board game big screen adaptations that are in the works. Lately Hollywood has had board game fever, buying up Candyland, Monopoly, and Battleship just to name a few. How many of these will actually become living, breathing movies? All depends on how much play money the execs are willing to deal out… According to Hasbro, Risk was the first board game to offer nonlinear movement as players compete on a map of the world by amassing armies and conquering territory. For the film, I think the nonlinear movement rule should be revoked and characters can only move in rigid, straight lines. It makes obsolutely no sense, and the battle sequences will be severly hampered by it, but damn if it won't be bloody. Personally, my bets are on Ukraine. Ukraine is not weak! [THR]
Big screen adaptation of the sprawling board game.
The producers of Puss In Boots have reportedly called Zach Galifianakis fat in the nicest way possible. The comic has been approached to supply the voice of the rotund, apple-cheeked Humpty Dumpty in the upcoming Shrek spin-off. Of course we all remember the story of Humpty Dumpty — after finding success amongst the Chicago improvisational comedy scene, the nursery rhyme egg went on to find greater fame with a thriving television and film career. Alas, he was tragically cut down in his prime by a deadly combination of alcohol, pills, and wall-sitting. If anyone can handle this mix of comedy and drama, it's Galifianakis. (/Film)
The Despicable Me trailer looks despicable meh. It introduces us to #1 Super Villain Gru (Steve Carell) and–OH WAIT he's been bested by a Syndrome-from-The-Incredibles-esque Super Villain named Vector (Jason Segel). The two then battle wits, which seems more like an exercise in futility for Gru considering Vector has saws, sharks, lasers, missiles, and a boxing glove mechanism that targets your crotch.