Jonah Hill balks at twelve inches. It's amazing the difference between a trailer that's allowed to show dildos and one that isn't. Sometimes I watch both the rated and unrated promos for a film and still think it's going to blow, but Get Him to the Greek states the perfect case for the necessity of red band. Johah Hill plays a schlubby record label intern who's assigned by big boss P. Diddy to escort rock star Aldous Snow to his comeback concert in Los Angeles. Along the way he gets sex toys in the face, drugs up the butt, and stands really close to Russell Brand, three traditional British customs. Why their ladies worship a man who looks like a mangy Persian cat I'll never understand. Check out the red band trailer after the jump. Get Him to the Greek rocks theaters June 4, 2010.
Though his Spiderman 4 role never became a reality, it looks like John Malkovich won't be missing out on a blockbuster payday. Deadline reports that Oscar nominee and Oscar winner Frances McDormand will slum it for Michael Bay in Transformers 3. I guess Malkovich wants something worse than Con-Air on his resume. Malkovich will play LaBeouf's first boss while McDormand will play the National Intelligence Director.Ken Jeong of The Hangover and Community is also joining the cast. This news worries me given Bay's penchant for representing ethnic characters as racial stereotypes. Here's hoping he doesn't go the angry, yelling Korean guy route. If so, he could have saved some money by hiring Dat Phan.
Diora Baird's friends call her Dee Dee, as in 32DD, and yes, they are real. She's the girl in Wedding Crashers that makes Owen Wilson realize he needs to quit sticking his d*ck in everything. Question: How in holy hell could Diora make you realize that?! A word from Diora: "I learned very quickly that if a producer wants to have dinner with me, he wants to f*ck me." It's a shame you're such a narrow-minded woman. What if he just wants to enjoy the company of an extremely busty, gorgeous female companion who–I can't finish that with a straight face. Find out why producers want to f*ck Diora after the jump.
In this episode of Sparkle Vamps 90210: Eclipse, Edward and Bella mumble about the pros and cons of becoming a vampire.PRO: Super-strength.CON: No Christmas. PRO: Immortality.CON: No visiting of loved ones. PRO: Doin' it.CON: Losing your soul. I wonder if super-hearing is a result of being turned because SPEAK THE HELL UP! Bella would be a fool not to become a vampire if only for the invincibility. She's so low-energy that otherwise she'll drown in a bowl of soup. Check out the clip after the jump before it gets yanked like a Twihard with a R.Patz pillow…
I had the opportunity to travel to Lake Tahoe for the Hot Tub Time Machine junket, and for some reason they put me in a cabin with the film's stars and a few cameras. I decided to take advantage of the serendipitous moment and ask Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, and Crispin Glover some questions about the film. Now mind you, we all attended an 80s party the night prior where free beer and wine was served so you should appreciate how coherent everyone is, and funny on top of that. The cast discusses working naked together in a hot tub, Cusack's Better Off Dead flashbacks, and the phenomenon that is Teen Wolf Pug.Enjoy the candid interviews below. Hot Tub Time Machine opens this Friday. Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke
With Alice in Wonderland holding strong at the box office, Tim Burton is back on top and lining up his next projects. Last week, it was speculated that he would helm an adaptation of The Addams Family in stop-motion 3D but that rumor proved to be false. Instead, Burton will direct the stop-motion 3D Frankenweenie. And no, it's not a movie about Chastity Bono's transformation into Chaz. It's actually a full-length adaptation of one of his early short films about a man who resurrects his dog after it is hit by a car.Executive producer Don Hahn told SXSW, "that the puppets are ready, the script is done and now that Tim Burton is clear of 'Alice in Wonderland'… he's set to helm 'Frankenweenie' in 3D."This project feels a lot more likely to happen and won't get bonered like Addams. After all, this is Burton's original creation. He's erecting it from his vision and he's been playing with it for years. It's his Weenie and you can be ensured that he won't pull out. Why's everyone looking at me like that? (AICN)
Quick everyone! Neil Patrick Harris is saying things!! And these things he's saying may mean that Dr. Horrible 2 will be a feature length film.“Apparently they're making a 'Dr. Horrible' sequel — a feature film, I hope.” Or it won't be! But assuming it is, they have a fine line to walk in order to successfully pull off the camp and low budget look of the original web series.“You don't want to necessarily make the feature film be an $80 million giant movie, because it defeats the purpose of what the first film was made to be… Then again, you don't want it to be so low-brow that it's not worth paying money to see as a movie.” [**cough, cough Ironclad**]To recapitulate, Joss Whedon is making a sequel to a web series which its star HOPES will be a feature film. And if it is a feature film, they'll have to spend more money. The end. This information brought to you by a slow news weekend. (MTV)
Looks like someone sh*t the bed, Phillippe.The never-ending search for Captain America could finally be ending. THR is reporting that the role has been offered to Johnny Storm from The Fantastic Four, a.k.a. Chris Evans:Evans' offer would include starring in up to three "America" movies plus "The Avengers" movies and appearances in several other Marvel movies. While an offer to star in "America" may seem like something you don't have to mull over too long, one possible complication is that Evans is committed to co-starring in the Anna Faris romantic comedy "What's Your Number?" Both are scheduled to shoot this summer.It's understandable why Evans would have a difficult time making this decision. If you read the quote above it says he's scheduled to star in an Anna Faris rom-com. Nope, Captain America seems like too much of a gamble. Fart in the face of the Gods, Evans, so you can have a chance to bang the House Bunny on set. OR ask your agent to get you out of it and BANG ANYONE EVER ALL THE TIME WITH FISTFULS OF COKE-DUSTED CASH. Your choice, really.
She's about to get beta carotene on their ass.Here are your weekend links.Memorable and Shocking PSAs (Moviefone)Why Your Band Hasn't Made It Yet (Asylum)Hugh Grant Got Into a Cake Fight (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 2, Day 2 (HolyTaco)Journey Singer Loves N-Bombs (FilmDrunk)15 Videos of The Office Cast Outside of Dunder Mifflin (Unreality)Trampoline Dunk Shatters the Backboard (TotalProSports)21 Awesomely Weird Guitars (Maxim)10 Blaxploitative Movie Posters (Smosh)Sandra Bullock is a Disloyal Wife (CelebJihad)UFC Banned From German TV (CagePotato)MacGruber Review (Pajiba)Douche-Off (Atom)12 Places to Pick Up Chicks (MadeMan)Harvick, Edwards Feuding (AllLeftTurns)
The full-length trailer for Luc Besson's Les Aventures Extraordinaires d'Adele Blanc-Sec gives us a really in-depth look at whatever the hell this is. All I really know about it is that it stars hot weather girl turned actress Louise Bourgoin and a pterodactyl. Commercials in France are awesome. I'd love to see how they'd market Easy Curves. Here's a description from Twitch: The year is 1912. Adèle Blanc-Sec, an intrepid young reporter, will go to any lengths to achieve her aims, including sailing to Egypt to tackle mummies of all shapes and sizes. Meanwhile, in Paris, it's panic stations! A 136 million-year old pterodactyl egg on a shelf in the natural history museum has mysteriously hatched, and the bird subjects the city to a reign of terror from the skies. But nothing fazes Adèle Blanc-Sec, whose adventures reveal many more extraordinary surprises… Oh. I guess the trailer makes sense now. Doesn't explain all the funny hats though. (Twitch) Check out -0:24 for a flash of NSFW action. After the jump…
Note to Jennifer Aniston: put your cups of semen away when you're done with them. If you don't, Jason Bateman will get drunk, perform impromptu experiments, and your hopes of fertilization will go rushing down the drain. …Or will it? In the trailer for The Switch, formally known as The Baster, Bateman plays a humdrum mope named Wally who switches Patrick Wilson's love juice out with his own. Here, come closer. **Hushed tone** See, the only thing is though, Aniston's character was planning on using that love juice to conceive a child. So then guess what happens. She uses WALLY'S love juice instead. Then guess what happens! She has a kid! THEN GUESS WHAT HAPPENS!!! COMEDY!!!!!!!!! The film is directed by Josh Gordon & Will Speck, the same guys who did Blades of Glory, and also stars Jeff Goldblum as the same best friend character he played to Hugh Grant in Nine Months. Why do people continually listen to Goldblum's advice? The man has absolutely nothing of reason to offer. Check out the trailer after the jump. The Switch inserts itself in theaters August 20th, 2010.
Directors: Josh Gordon & Will SpeckCast: Jason Bateman, Jennifer Aniston, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick WilsonSynopsis: An unmarried 40-year-old woman turns to a turkey baster in order to become pregnant. Seven years later, she reunites with her best friend, who has been living with a secret: he replaced her preferred sperm sample with his own.Release Date: August 20, 2010
Much like with inbreeding, The Final Destination series has degraded in quality with each film. The first was a unique twist on the horror genre, the second compensated for its weak story with impressive gore sequences, the third happened, and the NASCAR-based fourth installment was the film equivalent of a mongoloid. BUT it was a 3D mongoloid and 3D equals big box office.With that being said, Warner Bros. head bro Alan Horn announced at ShoWest that a fifth installment of the franchise will be breathing through its mouth in the near future. Why? "Because we couldn't resist," according to Horn.No details yet on who will direct or which sexy teens will be cast, but that's fine because you probably won't know who the hell they are anyway. (/Film)
Carice van Houten is a Dutch stage and film actress. She looks great both with and without clothes in Paul Verhoeven's Black Book. It's clear that Verhoeven appreciates a stellar rack, and Carice is no exception. Don't worry, I think she's a fine actress, too. I'm not a COMPLETE pig. A word from Carice: "I have seen Hollywood, and although I have nothing against it, it's not my kind of life."You're clearly not doing enough illegal subtances when you're in town. The glitz and glamour become a lot more appealing with some booger sugar up in ya. Appreciate the Dutch more after the jump.
I've got some good news and some bad news. Good news is that Jennifer Lopez is finally going to suffer the head trauma we've all been wishing upon her. Bad news is that it's going to be fake movie head trauma. From THR:Jennifer Lopez is in talks to star in the remake of the romantic comedy "Overboard," which Overbrook is producing for Columbia. The 1987 movie, which starred Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn and was directed by Garry Marshall, centered on a snooty, spoiled woman who falls off her yacht and is taken to the hospital by a local, morally challenged carpenter. When she wakes up with amnesia, he convinces her she is his wife, thereby getting a free housekeeper for his four boys.Putting laugh-a-minute Lopez in a comedy is a great idea because that always turns out so well. But I don't see her becoming this character. Sure, the snooty, spoiled part should be old hat for her but the housekeeping? This will be the first time that Hollywood employs a stunt double to vacuum. (THR)
Update: Tim Burton's people (ghouls in suits) told MTV, and I'm paraphrasing, "This rumor is bullsh*t! Oogie boogie!" They then quickly dug a hole in the earth and jumped in. But seriously, he isn't doing this movie.To further prove his dominance over the Curlz MT font, Tim Burton has signed on to adapt The Addams Family into a 3D, stop-motion film as is his way. One has to wonder if he was more attracted to the source material or the big box office raked in by a 3D version of an established franchise. Given his track record these last few years, I'd say he's more attracted to long green than pale flesh.The characters will be based upon the drawings of Charles Addams that frequently appeared in The New Yorker and despite what you may or may not have heard this is in no way an attempt to punk out The Addams Family and Addams Family Values director Barry Sonnenfeld. He took care of that himself by directing Big Trouble. (Deadline)
Michael Bay and Platinum Dunes have incensed a number of horror fans with their Abercrombie & Fitch approach to remaking The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror, The Hitcher, Friday the 13th, and potentially A Nightmare on Elm Street. And now they've got their sites set on incensing horror comedy fans with the announcement they've teamed with Rob Cohen for his long-gestating remake of The Monster Squad, the Fred Dekker cult classic that is fondly remembered by all children of the 1980's. The director of Stealth may seem like an odd choice to helm the picture but he actually produced the original. A movie fact that I did not know and probably the reason I'll never make it to the Scene-It nationals. The movie tells the story of a group of kids banding together to stop Dracula from assembling all the legendary monsters in his quest to take over the world. Surprisingly I'm not too bitter about this news, only because I think the idea of a Michael Bay/Rob Cohen exxxtreme take on The Monster Squad is hysterical. This time around it will be discovered that not only does Wolfman got nards, but also a pretty gnarly Prince Albert piercing. (Deadline)
Brody faces off with a Predator disco ball. Now you all can finally see what those lucky f*cks at SXSW saw last Saturday. I'm considering being on board for this new Predators installment, but I can't yet fully commit. I have to first suspend my disbelief that Adrian Brody can play a mercenary (isn't that nose a hazard in the field?), and that Lawrence Fishburne can't stop a Predator cold in its tracks by simply shooting it the stink-eye. Here's your context from IGN: Brody plays Royce, a mercenary who reluctantly leads a group of elite warriors who come to realize they've been brought together on an alien planet… as prey. With the exception of a disgraced physician, they are all cold-blooded killers – mercenaries, Yakuza, convicts, death squad members – human "predators" that are now being systemically hunted and eliminated by a new breed of alien Predators. Yakuza and death squad members finally working together. And they say progress isn't being made in the world. Isn't that right, Walton Goggins? Walton: "Who's your daddy now?!" Man, I hope his character dies in the first act… Check out the trailer after the jump. Predators rips theaters a new asshole July 7.
It appears the new Captain America has been cast. We're not sure who he is, but it appears when he's not murdering Nazis he enjoys kicking back at Pierhead Restaurant & Bar with Ghostrider, The Flash, Mr. Incredible, The Hulk, and no less than TWO Robins. Superheros should learn to be more secretive about where they go to get sh*tfaced. Google is ALWAYS watching. (BleedingCool)Don't let Google see you with these links.Betty White Calls Sarah Palin a Crazy Bitch (Moviefone)Former Manhattan Madame Runs for Governor (Asylum)Meet Jesse James' Tattooed Mistress (PopEater)2010 Douchebag Tournament: Round 2, Day 1 (HolyTaco)George Lucas Doing Star Wars for Babies (FilmDrunk)Ten 90s Crushes All Grown Up (Unreality)Top 10 Sexts Tiger Sent to Joslyn James (TotalProSports)Best Beach Bodies (Maxim)Anteaters are F*cking Awesome (Smosh)Jessica Alba Shows Serious Cleavage (CelebJihad)UFC Live: Vera vs. Jones (CagePotato)Let's Discuss Space Boners (Pajiba)March Madness Girl (Atom)Winning March Madness Picks (MadeMan)How Do Cars Become Airborne (AllLeftTurns)5 Reasons Your Gaming System is Better than your Girlfriend (RegretfulMorning)
The resemblance is uncanny.
Two posters for Stallone's The Expendables were presented at ShoWest and they've refortified my testicles after the damage they sustained from watching the Eat, Pray, Love trailer. The first shows a chrome skull adorned with gun/knife wings (and bullet poops?). It can only be accurately described as "visual Pantera." The second isn't as cool. It's an Ed Hardyized picture of what Stallone would look like as a back tatt. Sandra Bullock would be wise to lock it away before her husband tries to have sex with it. (Collider)
This is how demons mate. In the trailer for Eat, Pray, Love, Julia Roberts goes on a quest under the Tuscan Indian sun to get her groove back. Except she puts pizza inside of her instead of Taye Diggs. The movie is based on the best-selling memoir by Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer who decided to pig out and travel for a year. Much like Vince Vaughn did when he decided to make Couple's Retreat. Watch the trailer at your own risk. I just did and it caused me to have my first period. Great, there is seriously period all over the place now. I've never seen so much period. I'm gonna need like a million Tampax. Devour the trailer after the jump…
Alice Braga first came to America's attention when she starred as sexy, tan Angelica in City of God. She then went on to fight CGI zombie things with Will Smith in I Am Legend. I'd take Brazilian drug dealers over poorly rendered CGI villains any day. A word from Alice: "I love my country, but I'm not very Brazilian at all." Yeah, you're right. Your butt could be bigger. More pics of Alice's Brazilian form after the jump.
Screen Junkies has been given an exlusive sneak peak of Rob Corddry and Clark Duke in a red band threeway. Don't worry, there's a chick involved, and it's from their upcoming movie Hot Tub Time Machine, not some grainy, stolen sex tape. The scene perfectly portrays the overall tone of the film. It's fun, raunchy, and chock full of set pieces that will have you grinning to LOLing. Be sure to check back next week for my on camera interviews with the film's stars Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, Clark Duke, and Crispin Glover. But for right now, enjoy the ménage a trois below. Hot Tube Time Machine materializes in theaters Friday, March 26.
Jesse Jane need not apply.Best. Casting. Call. Ever. Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides is looking for a few young ladies with very specific measurements and a fine pair of naturals. Attention all you beautiful-types, if your chesticles stand upright when you're on your backside you need to find another way to fulfill your pirate fantasies. Here is the actual casting breakdown:Beautiful Female Fit Models. Must be 5'7-5'8, Size 4 or 6 – NO BIGGER OR SMALLER. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. MUST have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants. This is a show and tell of costumes with the director and the producers. Plan on an entire day of trying on clothes and being photographed.Professional Dancers who are Swimmers. Females ONLY. Age 18-30. All ethnicities. YOU MUST have an extensive dance/swimming resume. We will be shooting in Hawaii.Score one for the girls with high self-esteem! You've shyed away from the temptation of augmentation and look what the universe has delivered in return. You might get to walk through the background of a crowded bar while Johnny Depp stumbles and mumbles to Penelope Cruz in the foreground. Sure, no one will pay a lick of attention to you, but you'll know you helped grant the scene realism. And nice naturals.On that note, may I make a casting suggestion?Now imagine Rosie Jones in a corset. (Moviehole)
No one is really sure what the deal is with Ghostbusters 3. If you listen to Ivan Reitman, Dan Aykroyd, or Harold Ramis, it's moving ahead. If you listen to Bill Murray, it's his nightmare and he wants nothing to do with it. The only thing we know for certain is Reitman is attached to direct. But now comes word that Columbia Pictures wants a younger director on the project (ie: somebody who didn't direct My Super Ex-Girlfriend). From Vulture:"Reitman's old contract still gives him exceptional creative control over the series, including director approval. Therefore, while it’s true that Reitman can’t force Columbia to make Ghostbusters 3 with him, he can make it nearly impossible for the studio to make the film without him." "In fact, a source tells" [Vulture] "that Reitman and all three original principals (Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, and Harold Ramis … sorry, Ernie Hudson!) have a deal that says that if any of the four of them don’t like any element of a new Ghostbusters, they can singlehandedly veto and kill the project; it has to be unanimously approved before going forward."Personally, I think it's unlikely we'll ever see another Ghostbusters movie and I'm okay with that. The original two were a great film and an okay sequel that shouldn't exist outside of the 1980's, and the thought of a new generation of Ghostbusters sounds completely lame. The last thing we need to see is the cast of She's Out of My League strapping on proton packs.
USA Today premiered the first production still of the action movie Faster starring Dwayne Johnson, the wrestler with the eyebrow thing. The Rock (Ooooopsie!) plays “an ex-con pursued by cops and killers as he sets out to avenge his brother’s death.” The film also stars Billy Bob Thornton, Carla Gugino, and Moon Bloodgood. Now I can think of two reasons to see this film that each have two reasons to see this film. And no, I'm not talking about testicles.The tag for Faster is "Revenge is the only thing that drives him." Thought provoking stuff, but I think that this guy would disagree:Show your chauffeur some respect Dwaaaayne. (/Film)
The trailer for The Mechanic has all the hallmarks of a Jason Statham film — cars, guns, explosions, unintelligle growl-mumbles, and the Cowgirl Position. A remake of the 1972 original, Statham steps into the Charles Bronson role. Except in this version, women aren't disgusted by the thought of touching the lead actor. Ben Foster co-stars as his ward in the killing people for money game, which appears to be an industry where you don't want the other guy knowing your trade secrets. Much like blogging (nothing like blogging). The film opens December 15th and also stars Donald Sutherland and Christa Campbell, who you more than likely know from the very important film, Cool Dog. Watch the trailer after the jump….
Nerds have been on the verge of bonerdom since the above Red Sonja poster was released at Comic-Con in 2008. The status of that project has been unknown since then because Rose McGowan and Robert Rodriguez aren't banging genitals together anymore. Today, news that the actress has been cast in the Conan remake may finally trumpet that project's demise.McGowan has signed on to play a half-woman/half-witch opposite Fake Lenny Kravitz in Marcus Nispel's remake. Does this mean that Red Sonja is officially D.O.A. or does her agent only hang out with geeks and this role will serve as a taste of things to come? As of right now, it's too soon to tell if she will follow Brigitte Nielsen's career path or what the status is of her sleeping with Lil Wayne in season 26 of "The Surreal Life." (Variety)
Brie Larson sings some songs that I think tweens listen to while sipping virgin pina coladas, but you may better recognize her as the angsty daughter on The United States of Tara. Her character is a bratty teen who I want to slap in the mouth and send to her room. Then I silently stifle the quiver of excitement that rushes down my spine.A word from Brie: "I feel so much better just being comfortable with myself and hopefully girls will accept that."Quit letting your publicist whisper jibber jabber in your ear and just inject those toxins in your face already.Brie is all natural (so far) after the jump.