Good. Let’s complicate and convolute the story of a boy getting bitten by a radioactive spider, then becoming a spider himself.
There can be only one.
A more explode-y ‘Groundhog Day’.
Yup, those sure are some nominees.
The ending, more specifically.
We don’t come to Monster Island and smash up your shit.
If it’s not an origin story called ‘Mercury Rising’, I’m chucking my laptop against the wall.
We finally see the nasty underbelly of the Spelling Bee circuit.
Just don’t touch his hair, ok?
We found a way to film about a bunch of little people with pointy ears ridiculous.
Was there clamoring for this? It must have been muffled.
The one with Ben Foster as Armstrong.
My money’s on Lobo.
It’s now quantifiable how much he phones it in.
Channing Tatum stars as a hero elf. Seriously.
Still not as bad as the Cabin Sisters.
Looks great! At certain times!!
It’s what he’s good at.
Bring back Short Round! If the actor that plays him is still alive.
They could have at least brought Daniel Stern back.
This changes EVERYTHING! Wait. No it doesn’t.
One’s large and one’s small! This is comedy at its finest!
It’s the most shockingly violent time of the year.
It’s quite a formidable package, Jack.
Brick strikes me as a curling enthusiast.
He’s sorry. Please take him back, nerds.
They hardly even look alike.
Warning: magic abilities not included.