"YOU'D BETTER RUN!!!!"
Mel Gibson is packing up and leaving the States now that his BJ rage tapes have been released. He's selling off his mansions for well below asking, and is heading back to Australia and his ex-wife. The same wife he left for the Russian model who exposed him as an abusive fellatio-crazed racist.
"Oksana’s allegations have united Mel and Robyn and this move is her idea. She is shocked and furious at this woman’s lies and their seven children are shocked. Robyn has never seen a violent side to him. She has persuaded him that he needs to get away from Hollywood and find peace on his ranch and she will go with him along with some of the children."
But what if he loses it again and thinks he's actually the Road Warrior? It would take ten Danny Glovers to talk him down if it comes to that. And just where are we going to find another nine Danny Glovers? (DailyMail)
Today we have set photos from two completely unrelated films; Wes Craven's Scream 4 and David Koepp's Premium Rush. They're just boring enough to not warrant their own posts, while simultaneously movie-related enough to warrant me having to form an opinion about them.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Artists Felix Meyer and Pascal Monaco took 35 movies and put them together in a minimalist fashion to create a cool "2 minute journey through the history of film." Can you figure out all the movies, 'cause I sure as hell can't. I recognized Terminator, Psycho, and a few others, but the film about eggs stumped me.
Check out the montage after the jump and leave your answers in the comments section…
When God saw fit to take White Chicks 2 away from us, Keenan Ivory Wayans's schedule was freed up to work on other projects (and Brittany Daniel). When not busy rehydrating, Wayans found the time to develop the comedy It Takes A Village. If greenlit, the comedy will tell the tale of a young, professional woman who decides to adopt from a third world country but must earn the blessing of the village's chief, so he and seven elders move in with her temporarily in her snooty, gated community. And I think you know what ensues from there. It's hijinx, you guys. From Wayans:
“A woman who works for a company that mines natural resources like diamonds and copper heads to a South Pacific island to meet with the tribe in control and when she gets there, she comes across a child with no parents, who won’t leave her side," Wayans told me. "When she asks who will be the baby’s mother, she’s told the village will take care of the baby until it chooses one. When the baby climbs into her lap and puts its head on her chest, she has an epiphany moment and decides she wants to be its mother… The dance of this movie is, you think these people are simple, but there’s wisdom in their simplicity and the way they deconstruct things to their simplest form. The child they’ve come to raise isn’t the baby, but rather the woman, as she prepares for the journey of being a parent.”
There's no word yet on which Wayans will play the baby.
Crazy white boys…
Larry Charles has signed on to direct the Jim Carrey comedy Pierre Pierre. If it sounds like it's about a Frenchman, that's because it is. The story follows a “self-indulgent, lazy, French nihilist who is transporting a stolen Mona Lisa from Paris to London.” Through the journey, “he comes to love his home country again.” I'm glad they went with the snooty, clichéd version of a Frenchman. I'm sure there will be an abundance of chain smoking and making fun of American tourists under the breath.
The screenplay has been around for awhile. It even ranked the 11th hottest screenplay in the 2008 Black List, an annual poll of people working in Hollywood who apparently know good writing. At least that's what their titles suggest. Larry Charles you know as a producer on "Seinfeld," "Curb Your Enthusiam," "Entourage," and the director of Borat, Bruno, and Religulous. At least three out of three of those movies are offensive to someone with morals. Let's hope Pierre Pierre continues the streak. (Deadline)
In the upcoming movie Salt, Angelina Jolie returns to what made her a star – kicking ass. We took a look at her filmography to come up with her ass-kickingest best to share with you.
Trespassers will be shot on sight at Bay's candy mansion.
We've been patiently waiting to see what Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, and Tommy Wirkola have in store with Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. It looks like Michael Bay doesn't have the kind of patience we do. He's decided to make his own effects-driven Hansel & Gretel movie in lederhosen-crapping 3D!!
Not much is known about the project besides filming is slated to begin in the Spring of 2011, and that Avatar designer Joseph C. Pepe has been hired to bring the monsters of German mythology to life. Bay is not expected to direct, which is a shame. I'd love to watch set videos of him screaming at chubby German children. Oh well. Maybe there's hope that he'll guest-direct an episode of "Two and a Half Men." (Press Release)
The iconic Captain Pike.
Experts claimed that there would never ever be another Star Trek film. Despite their assurances, director J.J. Abrams is scheduled to begin shooting a sequel in January, according to actor Bruce Greenwood. As you'll remember, Greenwood played everyone's favorite Enterprise Captain, Christopher Pike.
"I just know that the plan is to film it in January, more than that, I don't know," Greenwood said, adding that he hoped to have a role in the movie.
While there is no word on the script, I'm hoping it involves time travel. I just think it's really neat, and it's only been used as a major plot point in about a third of all the Star Trek films, so it's still fresh. (Coming Soon)
Do you like mobsters? Do you like zombies? Do you like computer animation? If so, you'll probably love The Goon, a new animated film based on the Dark Horse comic. The film follows the exploits of a mob enforcer and his sidekick as they navigate through a world filled with the supernatural.Clancy Brown voices The Goon, and Paul Giamatti takes on the roll of his sidekick Franky in this David Fincher produced film. At this point, the director still remains a mystery. Perhaps I'll ask Giamatti and Fincher about it personally at their upcoming Comic-Con panel. Oh wait, I'm not going because no one thought to invite the overnight guy. (Empire)Watch the teaser trailer for The Goon after the jump.
M. Night Shyamalan received a less than cordial question from a foreign reporter while promoting his latest film, The Last Airbender, and the director did not mince words in his reply. “I think if I thought like you, I’d kill myself” Shyamalan told the reporter who basically accused the director of selling out in a bid to revive his floundering career. While any director would have bristled at such a rude question, Shyamalan's response would seem to indicate that the reporter hit close to home. And the fact that M. Night felt the need to describe how popular his movies are in France really didn't help his case.Here's hoping Shyamalan's next project, Devil, doesn't suck, so we can all look back on this and laugh nervously, and then maybe hump on each other like monkeys do when they get nervous. What? I saw it on Animal Planet. See sh*t get real for M. Night after the jump.
Pug Yells Batman – Watch more Funny VideosNa nuh na nuh na nuh na nuh…Here are your adorable links. 'Mad Men' Resets Itself In Season 4 *Spoilers* (TVSquad) Seeking The Meaning Of 'Inception'? (Asylum) 25 Videos Of Stripper Pole Mishaps (HolyTaco) Ben Affleck Directs 'Nawt Anothah Bawston Cawp Movie' (FilmDrunk) Foxie Fonzies Babe Pictures (Maxim) Girls With Small Boobs Are Dumb (BarStoolSports) 8-Bit Version Summary Of Ghostbusters (EgoTV) 'SOL' Trailer: 'Lord Of The Flies' In Space? (Pajiba) An Absurdly Old School 'E.T.' Video Game Commerical (Unreality) Here Is Another Baseball Fan Getting Tased (TotalProSports) The Annual NYC Naked Bike Ride (Smosh) The 6 Types Of Chicks You'll Meet At A Dave Matthews Concert (BroBible) Betty White And Joe Jonas Are Dating (Celebjihad) CagePotato.com Is Going To UFC Fan Expo, Will You Be There? (CagePotato) Amazon Rainforest Inhabitants Love 'Avatar' (PopEater) The IPhone DSLR Rig (MadeMan)
Bieber practices for his wedding night. Diminutive singing child Justin Bieber has announced his plans to break into Hollywood. Not only will the sheepdog-banged heartthrob be seen in Gary Marshall's Valentine's Day follow-up New Year's Eve, but will also star in a biopic about his own life. Please shout the specifics at us, HollywoodLife: The Biebster is about to become a movie star! HollywoodLife.com can exclusively confirm that a script similar to the 2002 film 8 Mile is in development – and close to completion! “There currently isn’t a final script, but just like Eminem did in 8 Mile, Justin will star!” an industry insider tells us. Ow! My ears. No one other than "the Biebster" has been attached just yet, but I'm excited to see Usher wear those Mekhi Phiffer 8 Mile dreadlocks when Pubeless: The Justin Bieber Story comes to theaters Christmas Day 2011.
The Wolfman is regarded as a collossal failure and that's due in no small part to its complete lack of girl-on-girl (I'm assuming). That's a mistake the upcoming lesbian werewolf film Jack & Diane does not intend to make. Though I am afraid it may alienate John Mellencamp fans.
Australian pop star Kylie Minogue has now joined the project to play a "heavily tattooed lesbian." She'll be working with Juno Temple and Riley Keough, who play hot teens who must deal with the hardships of transforming into a werewolf. Surprisingly Mischa Barton is not involved with this project in any way. (NY Post)
The Faster teaser trailer has Tokyo drifted onto the scene. It’s nice to see Dwayne Johnson shedding his tooth fairy wings and picking up a gun. He should only kick…
Ever since the news that an Anchorman sequel would not happen, I've been very sad. Food doesn't taste right and I don't notice the birds singing anymore. The news should make no one sadder than director Adam McKay, who seems to have accepted the loss. In fact, he's looking onward and upward. ScreenJunkies caught up with the director of The Other Guys over the weekend and he told us he's interested in bringing back Brennan and Dale for a sequel to the cult comedy Step Brothers. That poses important questions. Where would he take the characters? How have they grown?? And why doesn't he secretly film an Anchorman sequel using the Step Brothers funding? If not for me, do it for Christina Applegate. FIND OUT THE STEP BROTHERS 2 PLOT DETAILS AFTER THE JUMP…
The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos is right around the corner, and in case you weren't aware, the Big Money Rustlas in charge put together this hilarious/terrifying infomercial to learn you. Remind me to stay clear of Cave In Rock, Illinois from August 12-15. Holy crap. The festival touts that it's all about love and friendship, but I'm sure I caught a glimpse of a shanked tourist laying in the muddy camp grounds amongst the frantic ICP fans. You can expect comedians, sideshows, contests, games, and seminars, the most popular of which will be: F*ckin' Magnets: How Do They Work? Attendees will stare in awe at the magic of the universe all around them as Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J make an inspirational quote stick to a refrigerator door. Check out the infomercial below.
The LA Times has premiered a new pic of the Hall Of Asgard from Marvel's big-screen Thor. In the photo, we see Thor kneeling before Odin as Loki, Frigga, Fandal the Dashing, and Hogun the Grim look on. I don't want to be blasphemous just in case there is a God and he's played by Anthony Hopkins, but this is the Hall Of Asgard? It looks more like the set for a porno awards show. I haven't heard of any plans to have Ron Jeremy accept a Lifetime Achievement Award in the film, but maybe Kenneth Branagh will include that after the credits or as a DVD Easter Egg.
When Comic-Con told the The Weinstein Company that their Piranha 3D footage was too graphic for the "family friendly" event, they pulled out of the planned panel. But now comes word that the company is taking it one step further, saying f*** you to Comic-Con by hosting an off-site, nighttime event of their own featuring the rejected footage. TWC and director Alexandre Aja originally planned to show off a sequence where a wet T-shirt contest turns into a total massacre as prehistoric fish chomp waterlogged fun-seekers into meat. It’s the sequence that has been teased in the trailers and pre-release images, and one that sounds like one of the film’s planned showstopper setpieces. I guess it should come as no surprise that the Weinstein Brothers, two of the most powerful men in Hollywood, found a way to outflank the organizers of a comic-book convention. Frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if some Teamsters showed up, blocked the exits, and burnt the place down, cosplay girls and all. (/Film)
I'm here to fix the air conditioning.Christopher Nolan was ejected from a screening of Inception over the weekend. At least that's the sensational way to write it.Nolan was watching his latest blockbuster at the Arclight Cinerama in Los Angeles when, at about 100 minutes into the film, the screen went black and the patrons were asked to leave. The reason? A faulty air conditioning unit. The temperature in the theater was so warm that management decided to pull the plug, much to the dismay of those in attendance.According to our source, everyone in the theater was told about the broken air conditioning before buying a ticket. This made the decision to pull the plug even more infuriating. However, I'd imagine many of those angry fans were placated when they spotted Nolan and actor Dileep Rao signing autographs. But that wouldn't do much good for Nolan who probably cried himself to sleep that night…while wearing a Batman costume and lying on a huge pile of money. (CinemaBlend)
In 1968, Pegg would have been two years old, so either he's got a doppelganger out there, or he's REALLY into "Quantum Leap."
Yo James! Time to get my blue ass paid again, bitch!James Cameron spent all of his money on hookers and underwater robots. The rest he just squandered. But those robots gotta eat, and now that the famed director is officially out of cash, he needs a way to make a quick buck before he has a full-blown cyborg uprising on his hands. Enter Avatar Special Edition. For roughly $15 dollars, you can see a movie that you paid to see less than a year ago. As if that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity is not enough, there are also eight minutes of never before seen footage. That's only about $2 per minute. Compare that to your average 90's phone sex hot-line, and you'll find it's a bargain. Rumor has it that all they did was add five extra steps to every running scene. That might not sound like much, but remember, it's in 3D! See the TV trailer for Avatar Special Edition after the jump…
A delicious, nutritious, radioactive snack.
ATTENTION! ATTENTION!! There is a new picture of Olivia Wilde on the Internet. Normally I don't post banners, but when the key ingredients are Olivia Wilde, tight clothing, and a Bai Ling wig, it's my duty to pass it on to you so that you may gawk until your Saturday reaches the appropriate hour to begin drinking.
Heyuguys premiered the seventh Tron Legacy banner that shows Olivia poised to throw the sh*t out of a Sharper Image White Noise Machine. This is exactly why they can't have nice things in the Wilde household.
SEE THE FULL BANNER AFTER THE JUMP…
Sasha Butterface joins the news team.Here are your weekend links.'Childrens Hospital' Set Visit With The Hilarious Cast (TVSquad)'Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World' In Order To Get A Girl (Asylum)The Slushee Cup Contest Winner (HolyTaco)Jamon, Jamon: A Film Where Women Eat Men & Men Eat Ham (FilmDrunk)Maxim's Movie Title Translator (Maxim)Dude Gets Knocked Out With A 7 Pound Dildo (BarStoolSports)32 Jaw-Dropping Sports Injuries (EgoTV)You Can't Resist Her, She's In Your Bones (Pajiba)Green Lantern Costume Is Unreal In A Bad Way(Unreality)Athlete Loses His Pants While Gambling (TotalProSports)Sex-Ed In Kindergarten (Smosh)Top 10 White Trash Movie Girls (BroBible)Jennifer Lopez Shows Her Big Butt For Attention (CelebJihad)Hot Russian Girls In Bikinis Invade Ring Girl Casting Shoot (CagePotato)Writer Sees Parallels In Life And 'The Kids Are All Right' (PopEater)Man Drives A Volvo 3 Million Miles (MadeMan)
"My ice cream melted." Will Smith is remixing the Bible with his new project. Smith is now attached to star in and produce The Legend Of Cain, a retelling of the story of Cain and Abel. The script, co-written by Jada's brother Caleeb Pinkett, adds a vampiric twist to the tale of sibling rivalry. I know that adding monsters to classic works is the rage nowadays, but this is borderline insulting and sure to drum up controversy. Everybody knows there weren't any vampires in the Bible. Unless, of course, you read Mel Gibson's version. (Deadline)
Wyck Godrey, producer of the Twilight Saga, spoke with Fearnet the other day and confirmed that Amy Adams will indeed be playing the subject of the Janis Joplin biopic, should it ever actually happen. Fernando Meirelles (City of God) is attached to direct, but no studio has signed on and it doesn't seem there's even a completed script. So basically they've secured an actress and a director for a movie with no money or story. Hey, it hasn't stopped the porn industry from thriving.Speaking of sex, is Amy Adams the best actress to portray a drug-addled nymphomaniac such as Joplin? I look at Adams and assume she's never even seen a penis or hypodermic needle, let alone had both inside of her at the same time. She's really going to have to step outside her comfort level to fully embrace the role, or take a boatload of drugs to get through the ordeal. Hey, it hasn't stopped the porn industry from thriving. (Deadline)
I realize that you've probably had it up to here **places hand above crotch** with Mel Gibson mashups, but a fellow who goes by the name Oliver Noble **places hand above crotch** edited one for FilmDrunk that's pretty damn funny. It imagines a world where Mel Gibson is a script doctor whose contribution to material on the cusp of greatness is adding felatio punch-ups. Some people get paid good money for such work, and here ol' Mel is spewing genius out for free. Let's secure the man a literary agent, and yesterday!
DIRECTOR: Ben Affleck
CAST: Ben Affleck; Rebecca Hall; Jeremy Renner; Blake Lively; Chris Cooper; Pete Postlethwaite
SYNOPSIS: A bank robber in Boston falls in love with a bank manager.
More news ripped from the pages of this week's Entertainment Weekly. Here's a first look at the girls of Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. I'll be frank for a minute and you be Shirley — I was expecting a sexier crew of ass-kicking females. The group consists of Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Emily Browning, Jena Malone, and Jamie Chung, all individually super hot actresses, yet when put together they look like they're shuffling to a nearby cot for a nap. Scott Glenn even fits right in, which should never be the case.Maybe it's the grim landscape that's bringing everyone down. I vote that the next batch of stills be set at the beach or a car wash. I realize that the movie takes place in a mental institution, but there's gotta be a way to work a car wash in. Take a left past the schizo wing and tell the man at the desk what air freshener you'd like. (ComingSoon)
Great googley-moogley. Sofia Vergara has a sister. And she's hot. And judging from the picture above, that sister has a friend who is a photographer/dentist. But wait, there's more! She's also an actress, and has just been cast in Craig Gillespie's Fright Night remake. Sandra Vergara will play the girlfriend and assistant to David Tennant's magician turned reluctant vampire hunter. F*cking magicians, man. Always pulling top-notch ass. No matter how fugly/creepy/gropey they are as people. Never thought I'd rue the day that I didn't learn to juggle. (THR)