As if the The Human Centipede isn't a sick enough concept, now there's a porn parody. The Human Sexipede is sure to be jam packed with ATM that the captive test subjects will think is icky at first, but then totally embrace. The final line from the mad scientist in the trailer really sums up the entire production. If any of you guys see the full movie let me know how it is. I'm going to stand by the fact I haven't already watched it ten times today.
Check out The Human Sexipede trailer after the jump…
Hold the phone! Longtime fan of hitting things, Russell Crowe has signed on to do BFF the RZA a solid by slumming it in the rapper's shoddily-directed kung fu flick, The Man With The Iron Fist. The only thing we know about Crowe's character is that he'll be playing "the baddest man alive." Shouldn't be a stretch. He's already regarded as one of the baddest musicians alive.
Crowe is more than likely doing this as a favor to his friend and oft co-star, so it's unlikely his labor will take that big of a bite out of the movie's $20 million budget. The craft service budget on the other hand… (E!)
You might think since George Lazenby only got to play James Bond once, it must’ve meant he sucked. Actually, On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is considered one of the best Bond movies ever. If you’re a Bond fan and you haven’t seen it, watch it now. It really holds up especially well after the gritty Daniel Craig ones. Once you see it, you’ll really want to know more about the mysterious one time only Bond.
41 years later, Lazenby has a sense of humor about it. He goes out to autograph signings and he attended an American Cinematheque showing of On Her Majesty’s at the Aero Theater in Santa Monica. After conflicting stories on DVD extras and books and articles, Lazenby told the audience what really happened on his Bond movie.
Lauren Ambrose is beefing up her awesome comedy resume by joining Paul Rudd, Jennifer Aniston, and Justin Theroux in David Wain's Wanderlust. Ambrose, who is best known for roles in "Six Feet Under" and Can't Hardly Wait but better known to me as a girl who visited my college for a week and may have quite possibly made number twosies in my bathroom (unconfirmed), will play a member of a commune that Rudd and Aniston's characters encounter during their move to Atlanta in the Judd Apatow-produced film.
With her "Six Feet Under" co-stars Michael C. Hall and Peter Krause both finding success on the small screen, this may just be the launching pad that launches Ambrose into the mainstream. At the very least, it will ensure that she gets to make awkward small talk with Martin Starr at a future Apatow Family barbeque. (Variety)
Above: Steve Buscemi in the upcoming HBO series, "Boardwalk Empire."
Rampart just got a whole lot sexier. Actor Steve Buscemi has joined the cast of the upcoming crime drama, which already includes Sigourney Weaver, Ice Cube, Woody Harrelson and Robin Wright. Buscemi, an obvious inspiration to Internet writers everywhere, will reportedly play the awesome ugly dude everybody likes even though he's ugly.
The script for Rampart was written by Oren Moverman and novelist James Ellroy. Ellroy's involvement means that the film will be set in L.A., and will involve the LAPD, probably with a healthy dose of police corruption and racial slurs thrown in for good measure.
Filming is set to begin in October. (Empire Online)
How many Italians does it take to make The Irishman? At least four, from what I can tell.
Deadline is reporting that Al Pacino and Joe Pesci are joining Robert De Niro for Martin Scorsese's planned adaptation of I Heard You Paint Houses, a book chronicling the life of Frank “The Irishman” Sheeran, a reputed hitman who some suspect was behind the disappearance of Teamsters president Jimmy Hoffa.
While the film would mark the first Scorsese/De Niro collaberation since Casino (1995), chances are it won't begin production anytime soon. Scorsese is currently working on Hugo Cabret and doing press for the HBO series, "Boardwalk Empire." The famed director is also slated to film a Frank Sinatra biopic, which would further postpone any work on The Irishman.
Personally, all this talk about Irishmen and Italians is making me a little uncomfortable. Like my grandma always said, the only people worth a good god damn come from eastern Bulgaria. It's our world, and you punks are just living in it. International calling code 395 4 life, bitch! (Collider)
Here are some demonic dolls for those of you who can't get enough Betty White.
These links easily fit inside one another.
'The League' Talks Guest Stars, D**k Jokes, and Season 2 (TVSquad)
The Biggest Unpaid Stripper Bills Ever (Asylum)
Top 10 Hottest Homoerotic True Blood Moments (Ranker)
MILF Monday: Claudia Schiffer (HolyTaco)
Mark Zuckerberg Removes 'The West Wing' From Favorite Shows (FilmDrunk)
Girls In Showers (Maxim)
Dude Finds A Used Tampon In His Cereal Box (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Of Odd Celebrity Tattoos (EgoTV)
Mickey Rourke Seeks 'Meatier' Roles (Pajiba)
Marliyn Manson Loves 'Eastbound And Down' (Unreality)
The Dallas Cowboys' Comedy Of Errors (TotalProSports)
Brooklyn Carnival Celebrates (Smosh)
The 10 Best Things About The Chicks At Boston College (BroBible)
Miley Cyrus Fat Face In Little Black Dress (CelebJihad)
Ricky Hatton Had A Sh*ty Weekend (CagePotato)
Ryan Gosling And Michelle Williams Have Messy, Toxic Sex Scene (PopEater)
Buy Beckham's Mansion (MadeMan)
Warning: This clip from Danny Boyle's 127 Hours doesn't contain any of James Franco's arms getting cut off. Warning: It does contain Kate Mara getting wet. If you believe the latter might make you faint or nauseous I suggest you go no further.
Audience members at the Telluride and the Toronto Film Festivals have been passing out and seizing do to the graphic nature of 127 Hours. The movie is about a dude who has to cut off his own arm after it gets really REALLY stuck in crevice **resists urge to make crevice joke**. If you know you can't handle that, why would you go see it?! Stay for the first half with the swimming and laughing, and leave once the screaming starts.
Check out the clip after the jump…
'Mad Men' star Jon Hamm is a serious contender for the lead in the planned Superman reboot, Latino Review is reporting. His physique, strong jaw, and slicked black hair make him a natural fit for the character. However, Hamm himself expressed reservations about playing a superhero in a recent interview with MTV.
"It's a tricky road to go down with some of those heroes, because they're not flawed. Superman is Superman – he's invincible, so where's the drama?"
Where's the drama with superheroes? Obviously this guy hasn't seen a little film called Fantastic Four: The Rise Of The Silver Surfer! If he had, he'd understand the ridiculousness of his statement. I hope the producers of the new Superman reboot do a careful vetting before they jump into bed with this guy.
I know a lot of uppity Internet types have been taking to their Geocities fan pages to voice concerns about the upcoming film, Let Me In. Many fear that the…
This is what happens when you show a Stanley Kubrick restrospective in Hollywood. During the screening of 2001: A Space Odyssey this past weekend at the Egyptian Theater, a man started shouting at the screen and the audience due to a bad acid trip. Why you'd willing drop acid and then go to a crowded theater to see a movie that's inevitably going to blow your mind is beyond me. Thank God they got him out before the Star Child scene. He might have suffered several seizures at once.
Check out the trippy video after the jump…
Even assassins have their soft spots.
Mickey Rourke has signed on for the feature adaptation of the book "The Ice Man: Confessions of a Mafia Contract Killer." David McKenna (American History X) is writing the script about Richard "The Ice Man" Kuklinksi, a professional assassin who doubled as a loving father and husband in New Jersey.
Hmmmm, sounds like Tony Soprano, does it not? But considering Kuklinksi isn't Italian, this story will have less capicola and guys shouting, "OH EH! EH OH!" Or maybe it's just Tony Danza that does that. Either way, Rourke is playing an assassin, and he's a method actor, so if you start hearing stories of hookers being found with double-taps to the chest, don't look at me. It was probably Rourke. NOT me. (Variety)
Devils and demons have possessed the silver screen in many formats, from comedies to cartoons, CGI depictions, psychological thrillers, and fantasy worlds. Yet the most bad-ass, ripsnorting, fire breathing incarnations that we remember are the ones that send chills down our spines. With Devil taking over theaters Friday, I thought I'd compile a list of the 10 most bad-ass Devils in movies. Nothing is better than witnessing your favorite actor playing the ultimate screen villain of old Beelzebub himself. Hail Satan!
Al Pacino as John Milton – The Devil's Advocate
While the movie is just a silly combination of John Grisham novels meets the production designer of Rosemary’s Baby, there's plenty of hot and steamy sex with Connie Nelson and Charlize Theron. Plus Al Pacino plays the devil, so do I really need to say anything more?
Matthew McConaughey has signed on to star in a comedy, but in a shocking twist, it won't involve Sarah Jessica Parker or the ghosts of girlfriends past. It will, however, involve Academy Award winning director William Friedkin and a script by Pulitzer Prize winning writer Tracy Letts.
Killer Joe, co-staring Emile Hirsch, follows a pair of siblings "who plot the death of their mother for the insurance money." McConaughey will play "Killer Joe" Cooper, a dirty cop hired to do the deed.
Will McConaughey's collaboration with Friedkin (The French Connection, The Exorcist) prove as successful as his previous collaboration with director Tom Dey (Failure to Launch, Marmaduke)? Only time will tell. (THR)
Good news for fans of epic fantasy and, or birds flying in slow motion. HBO has released a new teaser trailer for their epic fantasy series, "Game of Thrones."
The clip, which ran before last night's episode of "True Blood," featured your standard fanta-crap fare: men on horses, sword fights, a single hot chick with long, flowing hair. But it also contained a lot of slow-motion shots of a raven flying. I'm sure the raven has some significance, but I'm not going to look it up. That crap's for dorks, yo! And I'm no dork! I'll just check my fantasy football stats, instead. (Deadline)
Watch the new "Game of Thrones" teaser after the jump.
In this parody trailer, a new kind of Hobbit is in town, and it's packin' heat. These little guys will street sweep The Shire and set your punk-ass elf-ass straight at any counsel. This summer, Gandalf brings gangta to Middle Earth.
Check out the Boyz N the Ring after the jump…
There's a clue inside the baby.
The original Girl with the Dragon Tattoo Noomi Rapace has become the new "it" actress in Hollywood. She recently signed on to deliver death alongside Jeremy Renner in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, and now she's secured a role in Sherlock Holmes 2. The logline is being kept under wraps, but Noomi is said to be playing a French Gypsy. It is unclear if the role is romantic in nature. One would think Holmes would be smart enough to not trust a Gypsy, but when they cast an evil spell on you at a street fair you can't resist them. It's the only way I can explain the atrocious lamp in my living room. (THR)
Look at the size of that thing!
Here are you weekend links.
An Interview With 'Boardwalk Empire' Creator Terence Winter (TVSquad)
Waldorf-Astoria's School For Doormen Turns Men Into Concierges (Asylum)
My Top 10 Favorite Food Trucks In LA (Ranker)
How To Destroy Your Enemies (HolyTaco)
Josh Brolin Compares 'Jonah Hex' To 'Piranha 3D' (FilmDrunk)
Hooray For Old People! (Maxim)
Tin Lizzie Is The Crack Spot For Sunday Football (BarStoolSports)
6 Predictable Things People Do When A Celebrity Dies (EgoTV)
Milla Jovovich Career Assessment (Pajiba)
"That Guy" Actor Of The Week: Bill Smitroivch (Unreality)
A's Fan Offers Up The Worst Catch Attempt Ever (TotalProSports)
Karaoke Panda Means Serious (Smosh)
Playboy Playmate Tries To Open Plane Door Mid-Flight (BroBible)
Selena Gomez And Taylor Swift Party With Jesuits (CelebJihad)
The Bum Rush Radio Show With UFC Fighter Cole Miller (CagePotato)
50 Cent Has The Gay Community Up In Twitter Arms (PopEater)
The Best Way To Wear A Nano (MadeMan)
Warner Bros has dropped the new trailer for Clint Eastwood‘s Hereafter. It tells the story of three people who are haunted by mortality in different ways. One of them is…
Director: Clint Eastwood
Cast: Matt Damon, Bryce Dallas Howard, Jay Mohr, Cecile De France, Richard Kind
Synopsis: A supernatural thriller centered on three people — a blue-collar American, a French journalist and a London school boy — who are touched by death in different ways.
Release Date: October 22nd, 2010
The trailer for Country Strong has strummed its way into our Internets, and I seriously think somebody needs to check out Gwyneth Paltrow's Netflix rental history. If The Blind Side and Crazy Heart are on there side-by-side, then I call shenanigans. Between the similarities to those films, and the scenes where people cry so hard they fall on their butts (I counted two), this is such an obvious ploy for an Oscar or a Grammy. In truth, they'd be lucky to get a Razzie for this. Hasn't Sandra Bullock had enough taken from her?
Watch Paltrow do her best Lurleen Lumpkin after the jump…
Sienna Guillory, an British model turned actress and daughter of famed Cuban guitarist Issac Guillory, made a name for herself in her performance as Jill Valentine in Resident Evil: Apocalypse. While the movie is little more than fun, violent schlock, her likeness is uncanny to the popular video game character, and she reprises the role in this week's Resident Evil: Afterlife.
A word from Sienna: "I don’t like my nipples showing. They look like targets."
They could be. Depends on what your guy's in to.
More pics of Sienna after the jump…
Smells like Oscar.
Now that his totally not-staged downward spiral documentary I'm Still Here is playing before audiences, Joaquin Phoenix is ready to get back in the game. He's set to star in Big Shoe, a movie that focuses on a shoe fetishist who is also a talented footwear designer. Which could or could not be gross. On the one hand, it's healthy to be invested in what you do for a living. On the other, I'm proud of that Photoshop I did up above, but I didn't choke-fap while creating it. I save that kind of bahavior for the Girl Gallery. (THR)
40 Movie Speeches In 2 Minutes Mash-Up – Watch more Funny Videos
Do you like John McTiernan's throw pillows? Well do you?!
John McTiernan, the director of Die Hard and Predator, has signed on to Shrapnel, what will be his first film since 2003. The story is about two war veterans who hunt each other in a lethal game of cat and mouse. Evan Daugherty's action-thriller script was on the 2008 Blacklist, and that's even without a warrior alien as part of the cat and mouse plotline.
It'll be nice to see McTiernan back behind the camera, even though his last few films have been way less than Die Hard-y. The director has been busy getting into sh*t with the government over the infamous Anthony Pellicano wiretapping scandal of 2006. His experience is a testament to why you never bug your wife's phone. Or your best friend's wife's phone. Even if her come-hither stares say, "Bug my phone." (Variety)
New footage from Jackass 3D starring Johnny Knoxville, Bam Margera, Steve-O, and Somewhere's Chris Pontius is now available for your cringing pleasure. All you need to do to see it is watch this new Weezer video from their Hurley album. C'mon, do it! You can watch it on 'MUTE' if you prefer after the jump.
Will Ferrell's upcoming film, Casa de mi padre, has unveiled its secret weapon: Mexicans! Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, both natives of Mexico, have joined the cast of the Spanish language film which producers say will be shot in the style of an “overly dramatic telenovela.”
Considering Bernal was in Y tu mamá tambié and Luna was in Milk, the odds of the film having a homoerotic scene just went through the roof. Couple that with middle-America's current love of all things Mexican, and you've got yourself a guaranteed hit on your hands. (Collider)
Pigman abductions will sky rocket. The new trailer for Saw 3D makes a point of letting you know the film is in 3D. It’s reminicent of a teaser for a…
Director: Kevin Greutart Cast: Tobin Bell, Cary Elwes, Costas Mandylor, Betsy Russell Synopsis: As a deadly battle rages over Jigsaw‘s brutal legacy, a group of Jigsaw survivors gathers to seek…
Everything Chris Klein Says in "The Legend of Chun Li" from Jeff Rubin on Vimeo.
In all fairness, this IS more entertaining than the movie. In all fairness. (VideoGum)
These links walk through the raindrops.
The Manliest Manly Performances In Football History (ModernMan)
Fall's Worst New Shows (TVSquad)
Burlesque Show Aims To Settle The 'Star Wars' Vs. 'Star Trek' Battle (Asylum)
Top 9 Worst Employee's In Video Game History (Ranker)
Melting Eastern Europe Ice: Alina Kravchenko Pictures (HolyTaco)
Frotcast 13: Machete, Fake Buscemi (FilmDrunk)
Decoding Her Signals (Maxim)
Graffiti Artists Forced To Dance On Camera In Front Of Cops (BarStoolSports)
A Gallery Tribute To National Lampoon Magazine (EgoTV)
F*cking With People: The Movie! (Pajiba)
Mmmm… Delicious Marketing (Unreality)
World's First Wheelchair Double Backflip (TotalProSports)
The 17 Nerdiest Dogs Ever(Smosh)
The 14 Sexiest 3D Magazine Pictorials (BroBible)
Mila Kunis In Black Lake Pics (CelebJihad)
Hot Potato: Sarah McDowd (CagePotato)
Lady Gaga Stole My Daughter's Soul (PopEater)
Best Girls To Lose Your V-Card To (MadeMan)