That's a big bag, Will Smith. What are you feeding that dog??!!
These weekend links are the sh*t.
Simple Ways To Look Like You Exercise (ModernMan)
5 Children's Books That Hollywood Should Tackle Next (Moviefone)
Comic-Con Geeks Fight Back Against Those Crazy Westboro Baptists (Asylum)
25 Great Moments In Celebrity Side Boob (HolyTaco)
Hey Michelle Rodriguez, Why The Hell You Die In Every Movie (FilmDrunk)
How To Bring The Ruckus (Maxim)
Korean Teenagers Don't Mess Around (BarStoolSports)
'Thundercats' Cosplay (EgoTV)
Bourne meets Body Dysmorphia: 'Salt' Review(Pajiba)
Nice Tackle! (TotalProSports)
Comic-Con Dos And Don'ts (Smosh)
Introducing Bull Marke Fridays (BroBible)
Remembering Jessica Biel's Ass In A Bikini (Celebjihad)
3 Reasons Why and Why Not Silva Vs. Sonnen (CagePotato)
'Inception' Confusion Will Boost Its Box Office Tally (PopEater)
Your Personal Submarine (MadeMan)
Between spreading Die Hard 5 rumors and answering questions about the kid who is nailing his ex-wife, Bruce Willis had some time in his Comic-Con schedule to talk about the possibility for Unbreakable 2. Unfortunately, anyone holding out hope for the sequel is probably going to be disappointed. While Willis wants the movie to be made, director M. Night Shyamalan isn't so hot on the idea.
"I think we'd have to hip-check M. Night (Shyamalan) into doing it," Willis said.
I'm not sure why M. Night would be against making the sequel. He's had a lot of bombs lately, and a sequel of a popular film might be just the slump buster he needs. After all, Kevin Smith wasn't doing so well, and then he won an Oscar for Clerks 2. Now he's on top of the world. (The Playlist)
A bank teller in Long Island was surprised yesterday morning when approached by a gun-toting Darth Vader. The Sith Lord forced the teller to empty their drawer before fleeing.
We all heard the stories of Lucasfilm banning the original Darth David Prowse from Star Wars events, but who would have dreamed he'd resort to this? Of course, I joke. This is obviously another stunt from Improv Everywhere. Give it up, guys. You can only run for so long. (Newsday)
The Machete red band trailer is awesome, but not one that you can share with your grandmother. Unless your grandmother is awesome. Thankfully, we have the new trailer for RED to appease Nans.
This second trailer gives us a much better idea of what's going on, and the film seems legitimately fun. C'mon. It's got Helen Mirren and bazookas. You'll never see that again until we successfully engineer that Stephen Frears-Michael Bay hybrid moster. And the funding drives for that have been an abject failure so far.
Watch a batsh*t Malkovich after the jump…
Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity may have lost Angelina Jolie, but it now looks like Scarlett Johansson will fill her ridiculously hot shoes. Bleeding Cool reports that Johansson has verbally agreed to star in the film with her Iron Man 2 co-star Robert Downey Jr..
Johansson's role in Iron Man 2 didn't amount to much beyond the trailer, so don't go thinking she and RDJ are the next Bogart and Bacall. This could all be talk, but that's no reason to poo-poo the idea. Please put any negativity aside for a moment or two and imagine Scarlett at zero G's. That's something we could all have if we wish together. We can do this!!
Did I just see what I think I …? Did he just..? Wow. The red band trailer for Machete is now online and we’re gonna need a redder band for…
What came first: the chicken or the egg? Well, if scientists are to be believed, it was the chicken.
Now, for an even more puzzling quandary. What came first: the amusement park ride or the movie with the same name as an amusement park ride? When it comes to Disney, the answer is usually the ride.
As mentioned in our Comic-Con Day 1 roundup, Guillermo del Toro is taking a page from Pirates of the Caribbean and developing a film based on the iconic Disneyland ride, Haunted Mansion.
“Millions of people from around the world visit The Haunted Mansion each year, but no one has ever had a tour guide like Guillermo del Toro,” said Rich Ross, Chairman of The Walt Disney Studios. “Guillermo is one of the most gifted and innovative filmmakers working today and he is going to take audiences on a visually-thrilling journey like they’ve never experienced before.”
If the film is anything like Pirates, audiences should be in for a real treat. And if this is successful, I think Disney should follow it up with another amusement park-inspired film entitled $12 Hot Dog.
Last week we gave you a grainy look at the ass-kickers in Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. At the time, we lamented that the picture didn't capture their hotness befittingly. Thankfully, Warner Bros has stepped in to give us a proper look at Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Jena Malone, and Carla Gugino via character posters. These are much nicer than the corpse that Warners dragged through the townsquare yesterday.
This movie looks like a lot of fun. Not sure why Speilberg glossed over the fact that there were Nazi-zombies, mechanized armor, or dragons in World War II when he made Saving Private Ryan. Seems like exciting stuff to me. I guess he was just kind of asleep at the wheel.
MORE GIRLS, GUNS, AND GUGINO AFTER THE JUMP…
Saw 3D (a.k.a. Saw VII) has hit the Internet, and it's about what you'd expect. If you like watching people get butchered in 3D, you'll love it. If you don't like watching people get butchered in 3D, then you're probably a god damn communist.
While this is supposed to be the final chapter in the wildly successful Saw series, I'll believe it when I see it. I thought Jason Goes to Hell would be the final chapter of Friday the 13th. But eight years later, there was Jason, terrorizing people on a spaceship. Perhaps Jigsaw will somehow visit the crew of seaQuest DSV. I hope so. That talking dolphin needs to be taken down a peg or two.
Watch the Saw 3D trailer after the jump.
It's my first time at Comic-Con. I didn't know what to expect except madness, and madness is what I got. And David Hasselhoff singing on a bus surrounded by half-naked women, but we'll get to that later. Thursday proved to be a test of the mind, feet, and senses. I saw some terrific panels, cruised the main floor, and even attended a party where Sly Stallone was given an award that looked like a bomb. It was supposed to signify his contribution to the action movie genre, but made him look like an Italian who was at his wits end with the Hard Rock Hotel.
I started the day bright and early waiting in line for the Tron Legacy panel. Sally from A Nightmare Before Christmas was also there.
The Tron Legacy panel at Comic-Con turned nerd boner-sacks inside out with its awesomeness. For those of us who didn't meet the maximum weight requirement to attend, Disney dropped this new trailer. I haven't seen anything this sexy since the last trailer. In this one, Garret Hedlund plays Cyber-Jesus as he battles his father's Doppelganger and creations while on a mission to find his real dad. Just like me and my stepdad. You're not the king of me, Roy!!
It all looks very cool and, yes, there is a light-jet. Didn't see that one coming. Then again, I don't work for a toy manufacturer.
TRON LEGACY OPENS IN 147 DAYS, BUT YOU CAN SEE THE TRAILER BELOW.
Darren Aronofsky will open the Venice International Film Festival with his pyschological thriller Black Swan. USA Today has a first look at the film and it looks like Aronofsky didn't hold back. The visual style he's achieved in these few snapshots are elegant, mysterious, and foreboding. Natalie Portman stars as a stressed-out ballerina whose life takes odd turns after she is cast as the lead in Swan Lake.
There's a few more pictures after the jump. Though the one of Mila and Natalie seems tame. I'd much rather see other pictures of them. If you know what I'm sayin'. **suggestively bumps two doughnuts together, gets ejected from Tim Horton's**
HOT BALLERINAS AFTER THE JUMP…
You nerds wanna see a dead body? There's one over by the water in San Diego.
The sickos at Warner Bros have shipped over the corpse of Abin Sur as part of their Green Lantern exhibit. As previously reported, Abin Sur is the alien predecessor to Ryan Reynold's Lantern, who gives him his awesome power-ring. And it also makes them married. Sorry! No take-backs!!
It's said that this prop was used during filming, and the detail is amazing. What is with Ryan Reynolds and coffins lately? Between this, Buried, and R.I.P.D., dude is likely to turn into Nicolas Cage. We'll need to monitor his hairline for the foreseeable future to be safe. (/Film)
Working Title has optioned the superhero send-up Astro City. Kurt Busiek's comic follows the superheros, villians, and ordinary citizens of Astro City as they react to one another and the world in which they live. The characters are all archetypes of popular comic book icons like Batman, Superman, The Flash, and the Joker.
The real-world plotlines have involved a reformed supervillian trying to walk the straight and narrow, as well as a sidekick initiation. Yikes, hope it wasn't getting paddled with a stop sign. Actually, that does sound fun. Let's get that on film. (Deadline)
Star Trek's Karl Urban is expected to be offered the role of Judge Dredd in Pete Travis's gritty 3D take on the hanging judge. But I think the bigger story is that an actor would want to play Judge Dredd. I'm just playing. If early buzz is correct, Travis's take will wash the taste of Stallone's Dredd out of our mouths for good. And I, for one, am all for getting that zesty comingling of poop and piña colada off my tastebuds.
Of course, anything can happen at this point but I think Urban would be a solid choice for the role. I would normally suggest Ron Perlman but science hasn't been able to craft a helmet large enough yet. Maybe someday when technology catches up to imagination. (Bleeding Cool)
Good news for people who like things that are unbelievably awesome. Jason Segel and the team involved with the next Muppet movie recently met with the bigwigs at Pixar to discuss ways to make your head explode.
Some of the members of the so-called "Pixar Brain Trust" — filmmakers John Lasseter, Brad Bird, Pete Docter, Andrew Stanton, Michael Arndt, Bob Peterson and president Ed Catmull — were there for the consultations. Docter is a particularly avid Muppets fan, so he almost certainly was one of the attendees. On the Disney side, Muppets director James Bobin and producers David Hoberman and Todd Lieberman were likely in the room along with Segel.
While plot details are hard to come by, as long as they don't have Kermit and Fozzie experimenting with homosexuality and adopting African children, I'll pay to see it twice. And even if they did go that route, with this kind of talent behind the film, it's hard to imagine how it could end up sucking. In fact, I haven't been this excited about a film's prospects since I first heard that an unfettered George Lucas was working on a little film called Phantom Menace. (THR)
Brad Pitt is about to launch World War Z, according to the book's author, Max Brooks.
After five years in limbo, Pitt's production company is finally moving forward with the project. Using Michael Straczynski's adapted screenplay, World War Z will chronicle life in a post-apocalyptic zombie-infested universe. Pitt himself will star in the film, which Paramount has slated for release in 2012.
Having read the book a few years back, I'm excited to see it headed to the big screen. I'm not excited enough to risk leaving my heavily fortified zombie-proof apartment/command center, but I'm excited none the less. That reminds me, does anyone know how to fix a chemical toilet? Mother is complaining about the smell. (Cinema Blend)
If you’ve ever wanted to put Ryan Reynolds in a coffin, then we’ve got a trailer for you. Reynolds stars in Buried, the story of a man who wakes up…
Mel Gibson phone call rant to Old Spice guy [animated] – Watch more Funny Videos
Go easy on the man, man.
Here are your links. But first you must bl*w Mel.
How To Become Internet Famous: Circle Jerk Or Lady Gaga?(Atom)
'Bored To Death' And 'Eastbound And Down' Are Back (TVSquad)
Giant Fish Are Taking Over Ocean, Will Kill Us All! (Asylum)
25 Videos Of People Getting Tasered (HolyTaco)
Ben Affleck Lawst His Fackin' Jamb Ova Heah (FilmDrunk)
The Self-Checkout Aisle Of Maxim Babes (Maxim)
Never Break Up A Fight In A McDonald's Parking Lot (BarStoolSports)
How Did That Happen? Picture Gallery (EgoTV)
Hit Me Baby, One More Time: A Look Back At 'Blue Velvet' (Pajiba)
Rambo 2: The Musical (Unreality)
Cat Fight! (GIF) (TotalProSports)
Wanye White's Wild World Art (Smosh)
An Illustrated Guide To Bill Murray's GQ Interview (BroBible)
Miley Cyrus Booty Popping Video (Celebjihad)
Sarah Kaufman Has Had Enough Of This Bullsh*t (CagePotato)
WTF? Chris Isaak To Replace Simon On 'American Idol' (PopEater)
Butch Cupcakes In NYC (MadeMan)
Zach Galifianakis is now the proud papa of a Thai baby.
Todd Phillips, you a sly boots. The director went on record last fall to shoot down the rumors that The Hangover 2 would send Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Justin Bartha to Thailand stating that, "There's a lot of rumors. There was rumor also that it was going to Mexico or something and neither are true." A source told ComingSoon today that the production will move to Thailand this fall to begin filming. So, who's right? The director or the anonymous source? Somebody get Sumner Redstone on the case.
Whether the report is true or not remains to be seen, but I think Thailand would be a hilarious backdrop for the outrageous comedy. Think of all the comedy they'll mine out of Muay Thai kickboxing and teenage prostitution. Perhaps a Roman Polanski cameo can even be worked in.
Zack Snyder has finally agreed to make a sequel to 300. He was always hesitant to commit until he saw how Frank Miller's Xerxes comic turned out. If it wasn't awesome and didn't loan itself to unnecessary slow-motion, then it wasn't going to happen. Luckily for ab-crunching actors everywhere, Miller's comic made the grade. Snyder tells the LA Times what we can expect from the sequel:
"This movie follows Themistocles and the Battle of Artemisium, which coincidentally happens on the exact same three days as the Battle of Thermopylae [which was the basis of '300']," Snyder said. "This one starts off with a quick retelling of the why of the Persian wars. It starts off at the Battle of Marathon and then it goes back to Themistocles finding out that Persians are invading again. and off we go over to learn a little bit about why Xerxes is the way he is."
I'd always assumed he was that way because of a handsy uncle.
"I'm f..f…fired? Derp."
Dammit Ben Affleck! We should have known better!! First, you won some of us over with Hollywoodland. Then, you shut up all the haters by directing the sh*t out of Gone Baby Gone. Which you then followed up by starring in the equally awesome-seeming The Town, which is directed by everyone's new favorite director, Ben Affleck. And then you churn out this generic guy-gets-fired melodrama on our chests and destroy all your hard-earned goodwill. Mother was right! You didn't change!! YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE!!!
WATCH THE TRAILER FOR "THE COMPANY MEN" FEATURING TV'S "COACH" AFTER THE JUMP….
Bridget Moynahan started her career with a recurring role on "Sex and the City" then turned it into a wet t-shirt contest with Coyote Ugly before hooking up with quarterback Tom Brady and making tabloid history. This former model now turned MILF is also a younger cousin of Rosie O'Donnell. Don't believe me? Look it up.
A word from Bridget: "I'm not one of those people who thinks they simply deserve success. I have the drive to work."
How taxing that must be. I savor a delicious Capri-Sun in the backseat as Mommy navigates the treacherous L.A. roads to my office everyday.
More pics of MILF Bridgette after the jump…
The rumor that Joseph Gordon-Levitt has beat out Eddie Murphy for the role of Riddler in Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight sequel has been floating around the Internet and abstinence meet-ups for a little while. Today First Showing got there hands on a casting grid that confirms the thesp may sign on to tease Batman's brain.
The grid lists the Riddler as a character appearing in the film, with Gordon-Levitt listed as "interested." Whether this will come together or not is anyone's guess. Maybe they'll need him for a G.I. Joe sequel instead. What we do learn from this is that the Riddler will show up to piss Batman off with confusing labyrinthian puzzles and traps. Think of it like Nolan's reimagining of Saw.
Stroke or physical abuse?
Oh man, Woody Allen is really Woody Allening it up in the trailer for You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger. The film stars Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Freida Pinto, Antonio Banderas, Lucy Punch, and Gemma Jones all unhappily shuffling through life, falling in and out of love, as an omniscient narrator delivers the subtext.
It could be a sequel to Vicky Christina Barcelona with the unfortunate absence of Scarlett Johansson's pouty lips. Allen even managed to make Brolin a schlubby writer with self-esteem issues. Put down that hammer, Woody, you're breaking too much new ground!
You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger plops down into theaters September 22, 2010.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
Director: Woody Allen
Cast: Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Lucy Punch, Gemma Jones
Synopsis: Unhappy people fall in and out of love in a Woody Allen fashion.
Release Date: September 22, 2010
David Fincher has got the ladies lining up. His English-version of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is gearing up for a December 21st, 2011 release date without any of its casting in place yet. Daniel Craig is up for the lead, but scheduling conflicts may have him running around dressed like a cowboy for Jon Favreau longer than anticipated. The story everyone is wondering about, however, is who will snag the role of Lisbeth Salander?
Emily Browning, Rooney Mara, Sophie Lowe, and Sara Snook have been added to the expanding list of actresses up for the part. Speculation is heavy, however, that Fincher will cast an unknown for the role. Die Antwoord singer Yo-Landi Vi$$er has also been buzzed about for the role. For reference, here is a picture of what Vi$$er looks like… on purpose.
I don't know. I like the idea of using an unknown, but Yo-Landi looks like she was designed by Guillermo del Toro. They should go with an actress who won't give the audience nightmares. (Variety)
Hey Thor fans! Have we got a treat for you! In anticipation of this weekend's Comic-Con panel, Marvel released a photo from its upcoming Thor film. In the photo, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is using his fabled hammer (Mjolnir) to smash an evil pile of elephant sh*t.
Careful, Thor. That tank in the background looks flammable! (EmpireOnline)
So, did you hear the one about the girl with the cleft…..uh oh!
Next time your OB/GYN tells a crude joke or makes a "wrong turn," take a page from The Debt and bring the busta down, hardcore.
OB/GYN takedowns aside, The Debt tells the story of a team of Mossad agents tasked with capturing an infamous Nazi war criminal in 1965, and the secret that still haunts them 30 years later. Directed by John Madden and based on a 2007 Israeli film of the same name, The Debt is fun for the whole family, as long as your family considers films like Marathon Man and The Boys From Brazil "fun," which I assume they do.
Watch a badass OB/GYN takedown, after the jump.
Director: John Madden
Cast: Sam Worthington, Helen Mirren, Tom Wilkinson, Ciaran Hinds, Romi Aboulafia
Synopsis: In 1965, three young Israeli Mossad agents on a secret mission capture and kill a notorious Nazi war criminal. Now, thirty years later, a man claiming to be the Nazi has surfaced in Ukraine and one of the former agents must go back undercover to seek out the truth.
Release Date: December 29, 2010