I've been lost in these eyes for hours.Everyone balked when news broke that MacGruber was heading to theaters, but today we have even more unbelievable news — MacGyver is heading to theaters. THR reports that Jason Richman (Bangkok Dangerous, other sucky things) has been brought on to write the film with Raffaella and Martha De Laurentiis producing, along with series creator/MacGruber c-blocker Lee Zlotoff.No casting has been announced yet but let me just say, PLEASE CAST NICOLAS CAGE. PLEASE. That forehead paired with a mullet is too beautiful not to film. He's proven himself as a solid adventurer and Bad Lieutenant taught us that he works well with Xzibit. Oh yeah. Also please cast Xzibit. Basically, the movie should be a 90 minute version of this.
Just your average cab ride in NYC. Maybe you didn't watch the last Inception trailer we posted because you want to save your entire load for when the movie comes out, but if you're up for a little butthole tickle (cinematically speaking) the U.K. has a 60 second spot. It entices without giving away the farm. I personally love how I've seen several one-sheets, trailers, and clips for the film and I still honestly have no idea what the movie is about. Sure, I realize it deals with dream interior designing and anti-gravity parkour, but I haven't seen Leo's business card yet. That's really the only way to gain a true perspective on a man. Here, I'll leave mine behind so you can follow up. **Slaps avocado pit down on table ** Check out the spot after the jump.
Pick a whore, any whore! The trailer for Taylor Hackford's Love Ranch has scratched, tickled, and hit the web. In it, Helen Mirren and Joe Pesci portray the real life couple that started the first legal brothel in Nevada. Needless to say, there are prostitutes in this film, gentlemen, and you better believe at some point Pesci teaches them some respect. Will it be Gina Gershon, Bai Ling, Scout Taylor-Compton, or Taryn Manning who is subject to the little man's wrath? Considering Manning has already done the whole "lady of the night thing" before in Hustle & Flow she's probably the most resilient. But don't get too cocky, Taryn. Pesci lays down pimp law a lot harder than Terrence Howard. I have the bruises to prove it. Check out the trailer after the jump. Love Ranch propositions its way into theaters June 30.
Director: Taylor HackfordCast: Helen Mirren, Joe PesciSynopsis: Tells the story of the married couple who opened the first legal brothel in Nevada.Release Date: June 30, 2010
Photos courtesy of 'Twilight: New Moon' premiere and the day Hayden ate WebsterI wasn't sure if I should be looking forward to Scream 4 or not, but today comes news that at the very least, it will be fun to look at. Wes Craven has offered the lead to Ashley Greene as well as supporting roles to some other familiar faces.Greene has been approached to play Jill, the cousin to Neve Campbell's Sidney. Hayden Panettiere has also been approached to play a film geek and best friend to Jill. The newest Culkin clone, Rory, may sign on as a love interest, and Lake Bell is in negotiations to play a police officer who knows Sidney from high school. Due to the secrecy of the project, the actors aren't being told much about the film beyond their character descriptions. This is making it difficult for them to decide if they want the shoot this July, but I would think they'd be eager for the chance to work with David Arquette.I really feel for poor Hayden, always being type-cast. But in all fairness, look at this nerdlinger:God, I would kick so much sand in her face. (THR)
If you felt the original Kung Fu Panda wasn't creepy enough, we've got some good news for you. Gary Oldman has signed on board for the sequel, which instantly increases the film's creepiness factor by 78%.Oldman plays a feathered character named "Peacock" who helps our panda hero track down the bad guys. However, it seems that Peacock may be more than he claims. My money is on a crooked DEA agent or perhaps Lee Harvey Oswald. Only time and a $20 movie ticket will tell. (EmpireOnline)
Collider is reporting that James Franco has signed on for Rise of the Apes, the upcoming prequel in the Planet of the Apes franchise. Franco is slated to play a scientist who, while working on a cure for Alzheimer's, befriends one of the test chimps known as Caesar. Caesar begins to learn at an astounding rate after being injected with a new anti-Alzheimer's drug. Franco's character takes pity on the intelligent creature, and informally adopts the animal in order to keep it safe. Big mistake.While it's far too early to judge the film, it has been reported that all of the apes will be the product of CGI rather than the traditional makeup and costumes worn in previous Ape films. And while I can't be certain, it would seem that this reboot pisses all over the grave of Ricardo Montalban by eliminating his character and altering the ape origin story. If Montalban was still alive, I'm pretty sure he'd protest by flinging his poo at James Franco. But he can't because he's dead, so I guess it really doesn't matter.Rise of the Apes hits theaters on June 24, 2011, baring some sort of monkey Apocalypse.
In Justin's defense, glass is transparent, much like his aw-gee-shucks-I-wouldn't-bang-your-daughter-and-leave-her-for-dead-on-the-side-of-the-road-if-I-had-the-opportunity shtick.These links are streak-free.50 Most Shocking TV Moments (TVSquad)Shy People Are Bad at Marriage (Asylum)Handcuffs Await Lindsay Lohan (PopEater)25 Sexy Robots (HolyTaco)Oh Boy, Another Whiny Emo Pussy (FilmDrunk)Sexy Disney Princesses (Unreality)15 Sexy Adriana Lima Pics (BroBible)Armed Thug Gets His Ass Kicked By Skaters (TotalProSports)21 Animals Riding Other Animals (Maxim)10 Most Notorious Lawsuits in MMA History (CagePotato)Miss USA Rima Fakih Is a Mossad Agent In a Bikini (CelebJihad)25 Delicious Om Nom Noms (Smosh)5 Most Anticipated New TV Shows (Pajiba)Atom TV with Paul F. Tompkins (Atom)Video Game-Inspired Lingerie (MadeMan)25 Examples of Chicks and Beer (RegretfulMorning)
Akiva Goldsman (Left) and Ron Howard (Right) on the set of Inspector Gadget 2.Screenwriter Akiva Goldsman is putting down his pen and picking up his wand, or whatever instrument directors use while directing. The Oscar-winning writer is slated to make his directorial debut with the 20th Century Fox drama, Man and Wife. The film follows an assassin who falls in love with the woman he is supposed to kill. In most relationships, a man falls in love with a woman and then ends up wanting to kill her, but this film turns that convention on its head. Brilliant!You have to hand it to Goldsman, especially considering he wrote Lost in Space and Batman and Robin. A lesser man (like myself) or a traditional Japanese samurai would have committed ritual suicide after penning such awful scripts. But Goldsman kept at it and went on to do great things. Aside from trying his hand at directing, he is also producing the upcoming Jonah Hex film and is slated to adapt Stephen King's The Dark Tower for director Ron Howard. (Deadline)
Stroke humor in its purest form. Dreamworks has released a full length trailer for their new animated film Megamind. It wants so very badly to be The Incredibles, but without the voice talent of Coach, a.k.a Craig T. Nelson, it's pretty much S.O.L. They could have at least tried for Jerry Van Dyke. The trailer plays out more like a teaser that pimps the voices of Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Tina Fey, and Jonah Hill. I had to read the film's official synopsis to get a firm grasp of the plot, and the major turning point isn't even revealed in the trailer. Also, can we please put a cap on how many animated movies an actor can lend their voice to? Brad Pitt was a good get, but Jonah's shuffled up to the microphone in his P.J.s far too many times recently. Check out the trailer after the jump, and the synopsis so you can fill in the blanks. Megamind takes over theaters November 5, 2010.
DIRECTOR: Tom McGrath CAST: Will Ferrell; Brad Pitt; Tina Fey; Jonah Hill SYNOPSIS: After super-villai Megamind kills his good-guy nemesis, Metro Man, he becomes bored since there is no one…
"Coyote Falls"? I don't get it? After years in hiding, Bugs Bunny and the gang are headed back to the big screen. In a throwback to the golden age of Warner Brothers cartoons, the studio is releasing three 3D shorts that will run in theaters before feature-length films. In addition, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck are getting their own 26 episode show on Cartoon Network.This is the first major announcement from the Looney Tunes since they were sexually assaulted by NBA great Michael Jordan on the set of Space Jam 14 years ago Brendan Fraser on the set of Looney Tunes: Back in Action 7 years ago. Since cartoon characters are not protected under the law, Brendan got off on a technicality. But the event was so traumatizing that Bugs and company quit showbiz and hadn't been heard from since. Luckily, time heals all wounds, even the really stretched out cartoon kind.The first of the shorts, "Coyote Falls", will appear before the film Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, which sounds stupid and opens on July 30. The TV series will premiere this fall, and will probably be canceled next spring. That's all, folks! (Coming Soon)
It's been a year since JJ "Jeezy" Abrams purchased the rights to "The Untold Story of the World's Biggest Diamond Heist," and today they've found a writer. It's an inspired choice. Phil Alden Robinson, who wrote and directed Field of Dreams, and co-wrote the heist movie classic Sneakers, has joined the untitled project. It's not clear at this time who will helm the picture, though we're pretty much guaranteed an excellent movie given the pedigree already behind the scenes.The film will be based off this Wired article about the real-life "heist of the century." In 2003, a small crew of Italian jewel thieves got past ten layers of security and made off with $100 million worth of diamonds. $100 million! Whistle noise!! Think of how stealing that much money would change your life! You could afford to hire Andy Garcia to pretend to be a guy embarrassed by all the diamonds you just stole from him. And if he's busy, you can always get Mark Strong. (THR)
All of you love watching movies. Many of you probably also enjoy the act of drinking cereal-malt and distilled beverages that you can purchase once you’ve reached the age of 21. Throw the two together with some friends (if you have none, works just as well) and you have yourself one excellent early-evening activity. Since you can make a game out of pretty much anything that plays on a screen (ads, soap-operas, etc), the following are a few of the better “battle-tested” samples: Dazed and Confused
George 'El Guapo' Roush of Latino Review says that "if you hate The Muppets, you hate life." I'll take it one step further. If you hate The Muppets, I hate you. By that logic, I don't hate Nick Stoller, the director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Stoller is at the helm of the latest outing from Kermit and the gang, The Greatest Muppet Movie of All Time. I always call The Muppets, the 'gateway drug for comedy nerds.' It's the first comedy we're introduced to, at least people our age. That's what we're going for with that. It will be for the whole family I guess, and for anyone who likes Muppets." Unlike my other childhood favorites (Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Eraserhead), The Muppets are perfect for a remake/reboot since the characters don't age. Well, neither does that "baby" from Eraserhead, but that's pretty much a Muppet when you think about it. At any rate, until Shia Labeouf signs on as the villain who pretends to be interested in porking Miss Piggy so he can kidnap The Muppets and sell them off to "Furries," I'm going to remain optimistic. Waka, Waka, Waka!
Tim Burton needs a better dry cleaner.Fearing retribution from Coolio, Paul Greengrass has dropped out of James Cameron's remake of Fantastic Voyage. Though Greengrass discloses that he was never actually on the project. He hadn't signed anything, nor did he intend to. Although he won't be sending Matt Damon on a trip through some dude's bloodstream, he may be eyeing another tentpole adventure film.Greengrass is reportedly interested in giving Treasure Island the Sherlock Holmes-treatment for producer Lionel Wigram. They're working with the studio now to decide on a screenwriter but I don't know why. A sexy version of Treasure Island has already been done. In fact I was watching it late last night on Cinemax with the volume off as to not wake Mother. (Deadline)
This is what happens when you compare Michael Bay to Hitler. He fires your ass like a ruthless dictator. Deadline has learned that Paramount won't be picking up Megan Fox's option for Transformers 3 after Michael Bay said, and I'm paraphrasing, "F that B!"Right now the director who rules with an iron fist is finishing up the Transformers 3 script with writer Ehren Kruger, and they feel "giving Shia a new love interest makes more sense for the story." Right, because it's ridiculous that a nerd such as Sam Witwicky would stand by the same insanely hot girl for all these years. Making everyone you will ever meet and know jealous is totally overrated.
BREAKING NEWS: Somebody stole Will Forte's ass celery.I caught up with Forte and director Jorma Taccone earlier this week after a viewing of MacGruber's hilariously over-the-top big-screen outing. One scene from the movie that has people talking is when MacGruber "improvises" his way out of a tight jam with a discarded celery stalk. I asked the filmmakers how dancing around nude with celery in one's butt effects the vibe with the teamsters on set (it earns you more respect, according to Taccone), and Forte told me about an overzealous fan eager to own a piece of film history."There was actually a celery thief! There was some guy who somehow liberated a piece of celery. Somebody told me that some guy who was affiliated with the railyard [where the scene was filmed] had come and taken one of the pieces of celery."Well, I don't really know what to say to that, except they're better off it's someone from the location than someone from Craft Services.
Adam Shankman has just been nominated for the "Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves Award for Achievements in the Field of Squeezing Blood From Stones Sequelizations." Shankman is producing an unofficial sequel to Mean Girls, this time dealing with the social order in the world of competitive parenting. Like Mean Girls, Mean Moms (aka C*nts) is also based on an advice book by Rosalind Wiseman. In this case, it's her 2006 book "Queen Bee Moms and King Pin Dads: Dealing with the Parents, Teachers, Coaches, and Counselors Who Can Make — or Break — Your Child's Future."One of the main reasons that Mean Girls is so good is Tina Fey's script. To say that Mean Moms scribes Dara and Chad Creasey have some big shoes to fill is an understatement. But if anyone is up to the job, it's the writing team behind Studio 60 On the Sunset Strip, Pushing Daisies, and Legally Blondes. Which is apparantly a thing that happened after Reese Witherspoon became president or something in Legally Blonde 2: Red, White, and Blonde. (Variety)
Jon Favreau tweeted this little morsel from the set of Cowboys & Aliens to get your appetite so whet your superiors are wondering why the mop handle in your grip is covered in drool. Though can we really be sure this is official just because the director of the movie released it?My overbearing paronia insists that the pic could be a clever marketing campaign by Disney for Toy Story 3. If Woody was flesh and blood THIS is how he would look, always hauling a backlight around with him so we could never be certain of his identity. Oh no, you're not pulling the wool over my eyes, Lasseter. First the subliminal Nazi propaganda shorts before the main attraction and now this? If you weren't so damn awesome at what you do I'd have a good mind to shake an angry fist at your visage. That and my angry fist is buried deep in a tub of animal crackers at the moment. I know there's an elephant in here somewhere…
Being a huge feminist and all (see above picture) I found it hard to enjoy The Hangover. The whole time I was all like, 'Where my sisters at??!" Well friends, my prayers have been answered. Household name Wayne McClammy ("The Sarah Silverman Program," Kimmel's "I'm F**king Matt Damon/Ben Affleck") is in talks to direct Desperados. The project is described as a lady-version of The Hangover, with Isla Fisher in talks to star. I'd think if you wanted a hungover redhead, you wouldn't need to look further than Lindsay Lohan **scribbles down joke, mails to Craig Kilborn**THR's got more info. You go, girlfriend:The story is about a woman who sends an indignant email to her new beau, who has gone silent after they have sex, only to discover he's comatose in a Mexican hospital. Panicking, she races south of the border with her friends in tow to intercept the email before he recovers.Dumb. You can't outrun an email. Just like you can't outrun sunlight or a flash freeze. I'm looking at you two, Blade and Jake Gyllenhaal.
Jemaine Clement of "Flight of the Concords" fame is slated to play the villain in Men in Black III. Clement joins Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin and director Barry Sonnenfeld, who have all signed on to the project.While details are scarce, Collider is reporting that Clement will play an evil character named Yaz. Based on Clement's sideburns, one can only assume that "Yaz" is none other than Boston Red Sox's great Carl Yastrzemski, aka Mutton-chop Yaz.On the plus side, it would be hard to make a film any worse than MIB II. Unfortunately, Clement was already involved in the sci-fi related catastrophe, Gentleman Broncos, so anything is possible.
Finally, something tangible to report about Ghostbusters that doesn't involve Bill Murray's menstrual cycle. Rather than waiting around for Ghostbusters 3 like the rest of us saps, the fine folks at Improv Everywhere decided to take matters into their own hands by producing a version of Ghostbusters Live. The funnymen who had originally made a splash with their Best Buy sales prank which featured over eighty participants, pulled off quite the stunt with only seven able bodied comedians recently at the main branch of the New York Public Library and every spook filled second has been caught on camera for your enjoyment! I never thought that performance art could be so relevant. It's really inspired me to get my own flash mob version of Downfall off the ground. And if those people at the ADL don't like it they can go to hell. They never understood my art. (DreadCentral) See Ghostbusters Live after the jump.
Our friends at EgoTV put together this mashup of famous archery scenes from movies set to Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar On Me." I personally would have chosen Pat Benatar's "Hit Me With Your Best Shot," but then again I'm a hack. These links are a bullz-eye! **rimshot. fart.** 'Pirates 4' to Be Shot in 3D (Moviefone) Meet the Beer Experts (Asylum) Conan O'Brien Lists His Five Favorite YouTube Videos (PopEater) How Delonte West Hooked Up With Lebron's Mom (HolyTaco) First Script Scene of Facebook movie 'The Social Network' (BroBible) Getting Old Sucks (FilmDrunk) 10 Best SNL Digital Shorts (Unreality) Miss Massachusetts Pics (TotalProSports) Pretty Girls and Their Playthings (Maxim) Meet Jan Finney, Cris Cyborg's Next Victim (CagePotato) Joe Jonas Lied About Serving In Vietnam (CelebJihad) 10 Best Kids' Drawings Ever (Smosh) 5 Most Popular Celebs You've Never Heard Of (Pajiba) M'larky Trailer (Atom) 13 Facts about Weed (MadeMan) Tony Stewart Jumps from a Plane (AllLeftTurns)
Oprah?Looks like Eddie Murphy may take a break from the moody, little character pieces he's so well known for to don the fat suit and drink from the drawn butter well once again. While at the premiere of Shrek 4, Murphy told Access Hollywood:“You know what, there might be another Nutty Professor. We kind of wrote something that might be kind of funny. If the studios want to do it, we’ll do it. If you don’t see it, the studio was like, ‘This isn’t funny.’”I don't know Eddie. Precious wasn't all that funny and they let you do that. It even earned you an Oscar nomination. Don't be so hard on yourself, champ. Good things happen to good people. **gets killed anally by exploding office chair**
With the Will Forte vehicle MacGruber due out in theaters this Friday, I decided to look into the funny little history of "Saturday Night Live's" adventures on the silver screen. Generally the movies were spun off from their more popular sketches (how the Roxbury guys were popular, I'll never know).I wanted to grade SNL spinoffs that were regular sketches with regular cast members. I also wanted to compare the merits of each using the two only barometers for success that Hollywood has: critical reception and, of course, money. Further, I studied a particular SNL cast member, and their career success as compared to their SNL movie vehicle.Here are the results.
'The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.' And it looks awesome in Blu Ray!David Fincher's Se7en is getting the Blu Ray treatment, meaning you'll soon see the bloated corpse of the fatass who ate himself to death in high definition, as God the father intended.The disk will be loaded with extras, including audio commentaries, alternate endings and full motion video details of "John Doe´s" creepy notebook writings. No word yet on the case, but hopefully it will resemble the box with the severed head. I think that'd be neat!Se7en on Blu Ray hits stores September 14th. (DreadCentral)
In this exclusive, behind the scenes look at Toy Story 3, Ned Beatty and Michael Keaton join an ensemble cast for the most powerful chapter to date in the beloved franchise. When Andy heads off to college, adventure fanatic Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) takes his toy friends on a river-rafting trip into the dangerous American back-country. During a chance encounter with a group of locals, an offhand comment about moonshine by Lots-o'-Huggin' Bear (Beatty) leads to a violent sexual assault. The trip soon descends into a nightmare in which both nature and mankind conspire against the toys, putting their lives and perhaps even their souls at risk. (LatinoReview) Watch Ned Beatty's powerful performance in Toy Story 3 after the jump.
The Shia LaBeouf blame train is once again leaving the station. But this time, instead of badmouthing the work of a universally reviled Michael Bay film, he's going after the work of of one of the greatest living directors, Steven Spielberg. In a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, LeBeouf said he was disappointed with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, admitting his own performance was sub par, but also calling out the work of the famed director. I would never disrespect the man. I think he's a genius, and he's given me my whole life. He's done so much great work that there's no need for him to feel vulnerable about one film. But when you drop the ball you drop the ball." I fully agree that Spielberg dropped the ball, mainly by casting LaBeouf in the film. But I do like LaBeouf's habit of waiting until well after the fact to badmouth his own work. Along those lines, I'd like to apologize for my poorly written feature on the history of G.I. Joe war atrocities. While I do take some responsibility, I'd also like to say that Patrick Schumacker, the former editor of Screen Junkies, dropped the ball. (CinemaBlend)
Zoe doing her best assassin pose. If this is what death looks like, I welcome it. Zoe Saldana is in talks to star in Colombiana, to be produced by Luc Besson of Taken producing fame. THR has the scoop:Written by Besson and Robert Mark Kamen, "Colombiana" is set in Latin America and the U.S. Saldana would play a young woman who, after witnessing her parents' murder as a child in Bogota, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin. She works for her uncle as a hitman by day, but her personal time is spent engaging in vigilante murders that she hopes will lead her to her ultimate target: the mobster responsible for her parents' death. So…it's another revenge flick. Or it's Batman without all the philanthropy. I was a big fan of Taken so I'll give Besson and Kamen the benefit of the doubt. I enjoyed watching Liam Nesson crack skulls for 90 minutes, what's to say I won't like Zoe Saldana doing the same thing in a tight pleather body suit? Note to director: take my note.