This is why I don't do laundry anymore. Back in 2009, Warner Bros. hired screenwriter Dave Kajganich to tackle a big screen adaptation of Stephen King's novel It. I've never read the 1,104 page book because come on, it's over 1,000 pages, but the 1990 mini-series scared the living crap out of me when I was younger. It ruined so many things for me, including chinese food, sewers, old ladies, Jonathan Brandis, and sewers. In fact, Googling images of Pennywise the Clown just now triggered my post traumatic stress disorder and my bladder.Dave Kajganich spoke recently to the Stephen King fansite Lilja's Library, and told them how he's working on damaging our psyches with a killer clown again:I told the studio from the beginning that I felt I needed to be able to write for an R rating, since I wanted to be as candid as the novel about the terrible things the characters go through as kids. They agreed and off I went. … I think the biggest difference [between the big screen adaptation and the miniseries] is that we’re working with about two-thirds the onscreen time they had for the miniseries. That sounds dire, I know, but it doesn’t necessarily mean two-thirds the amount of story. I’m finding as many ways as I can to make certain scenes redundant by deepening and doubling others.I can't image how he'll take over 1,000 pages of source material and cram it into a two-hour film. Obviously a lot will be cut, but will all the crucial elements hold together is the question. Also, Tim Curry delivers such a fantastic performance in the original mini-series it's going to be hard finding someone who can top it. But the bigger question here is, what's up with Richard Thomas's mole these days?Yep, still enormous.
Hot teen vampire worlds are about to collide. Twilight's Nikki Reed will be joined by "True Blood's" blood-teary eyed Deborah Ann Woll in Aaron Harvey's Catch .44. The fanged duo will join Malin Akerman to form a trio of gorgeous assassins who's next mission may be their last when they're pitted between Bruce Willis's crime boss and Forest Whitaker's psychotic hitman. Something tells me he's not a sharp-shooter. Just sayin'.File photo: F. WhitakerHonestly though, why are hot girls always playing assassins in movies? In my experience the prettier the girl, the more likely they are to find some desperate nerd to garrote their marks. Or help them move. It depends on whether or not you were raised in Detroit. (Deadline)
The Last AirbenderPG, 95min., 2010Cast: Dev Patel, Noah Ringer, Jackson Rathbone, Aasif Mandi, Nicola Peltz, and Cliff CurtisDirected by M. Night ShyamalanScreenplay M. Night Shyamalan based upon the Nickelodeon Animated series “Avatar: The Last Airbender”The Last Airbender is a good looking and expensive summer movie that is brought down to miserable lows due to shoddy storytelling, hollow Nickelodeon-type acting, and the ever-annoying 3D transfer.To describe this story would take an entire 3,000-word review involving alternative universes with eastern religious symbols and age-old rivalries. For those that know the Nickelodeon show, they probability know the backstory and all the little pieces about wind, water, fire, and earth put together, for those like myself, we are given the age old hero's quest to finding himself story.MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Elizabeth Reaser, the indie darling turned Twilight Saga cast member, has shown that it takes more than sparkling good looks to become a rising actor. While the Twilight has taken up most of her current screen time, she'll be going back to her roots in upcoming drama's Homework and Eye of The Hurricane, giving plenty of homegrown hotness back on the indie scene.A word from Elizabeth: "I grew up subjecting my family to really bad shows in the living room. It's what I love to do."I'd scoot my butt around on the carpet to Murray Head's "One Night in Bangkok." Oh, but I'm sorry. You're talking about BAD shows. Unwrap more of Reaser's pieces after the jump.
The sick bastards over at Holy Taco whipped this poster up. Looks entertaining, but I always thought Buzz Lightyear was a Spaceman, not a Rabbit.
Some new faces have joined the list of characters who may be the recipients or deliverers of stabbings in Scream 4. Adam Brody and Eric Knudson have joined the cast as a cop obsessed with "CSI" and an teenaged expert on horror cliches, much like Jamie Kennedy's character from the earlier films.These additions come with a few subtractions. Lauren Graham and Lake Bell have both left the production. Marley Shelton is stepping into the cop role vacated by Bell. Bell tweeted earlier in the week that she's sad to leave due to schedule conflicts, and that she knows the identity of the killer. I say we hold her down until she tells us. Or just hold her down in general. I nominate me for the job. (THR)
Uncanny.Everybody raise the roof! Meryl Streep is in talks to play former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher. What what! The brilliant actress who has the Academy Awards on lockdown would reteam with her Mamma Mia! director Phyllida Lloyd for Iron Lady. THR, would you be so kind as to inform us of the details whilst I finish my biscuit?The film is set in 1982 and tracks Thatcher as she tries to save her career in the 17 days preceding the 1982 Falklands War. The 2 1/2-month war was a turning point for the prime minister, who, after the victory, saw her approval ratings double and went on to win a second term.The prose and the biscuit were absolutely scrumptious. Jim Broadbent is also in talks to play Thatcher's husband, Denis. If the deal for Streep goes through without any fuss, it will be the highest-profile character she's portrayed yet. Forget the cold showers of Silkwood and butter-soaked dishes of Julie & Julia. Meryl will have to go head-to-head with Parliament, and I can attest that things get rather unpolite in there. British unpolite, not American unpolite. So basically everyone is very polite.
Director: Matt ReevesCast: Chloe Moretz, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Richard JenkinsSynopsis: A bullied young boy befriends a young female vampire who lives in secrecy with her guardian.Release Date: October 1, 2010
Everyone loves a dead hooker. Everyone loves a live hooker for that matter. “Makin money the hard way” is one of the mankind’s oldest professions. And though it’s not necessarily something you hope for your children to aspire to, it’s always been a relevant topic in societal discussion.With Love Ranch opening this week, it seems only appropriate that we take a look at a few memorable Hollywood hookers who never fail to get us off:Vivian Ward – Pretty Woman
Chloe Moretz is back as another bloodthirsty tween in this teaser for Matt Reeves' Let The Right One In remake, Let Me In. Kodi Smit-McPhee stars as a bullied boy who befriends his new neighbor, a vampire child who keeps busy by eating members of the community. That's definitely a dick move, but not as bad as my neighbor who keeps stealing my parking space. That jerk deserves to be staked. LOOKS PRETTY SOLID TO ME. CHECK IT OUT AFTER THE JUMP AND LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK…
Like everyone else in America, I've always had to endure the boastful claims of the state of Texas. From the "Don't Mess with Texas" slogan to awful Dallas Cowboys fans to the "Steers and Queers" line in Full Metal Jacket, Texans always seem to walk around like their poo-poos don't stink. Well guess what, Tex; you're not so tough after all! Cinemark has pulled the trailer for Paramount's "Paranormal Activity 2" from several theaters in Texas after receiving numerous complaints that the promo was "too" frightening. Well look at the scared little state of Texas pissing itself in the corner over a cheesy horror movie trailer. Pathetic. Why don't you run home to your "Friday Night Lights" and your "Austin City Limits," ya pansies! (Variety)
I'll take a one-way ticket to Bangkok, please.Ferris Bueller always said Principal Rooney was a bad guy. Turns out, he was right.Actor Jeffrey Jones, best known for his roll as Principal Rooney in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, was arrested (again) for failing to register as a sex offender (again). Jones' sex-offender status stems from an incident in 2003 where the actor was caught with child pornography. He also paid a then 14-year-old boy, Cameron Frye, to pose for pornographic pictures.What makes this case so galling is that it all could have been avoided if Jones would have had enough consideration to explore his dark urges in Thailand, like a decent human being. For shame, Jeffrey. For shame.Now, please enjoy these out-of-context quotes from Jones' character in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, which are much funnier now that he's a known sex offender. (Cinema Blend)See the quotes after the jump.
Hey Jeffrey Jones, I know you are, but what am I! Pee-Wee Herman (aka Paul Reubens) has at least one last big adventure left in him now that director Judd Apatow has announced he will produce the character's return to the big screen. The news comes nearly 20 years after an unfortunate incident involving a porno theater and his own wiener left Reubens a Hollywood pariah, all but killing the Pee-Wee character. Luckily for Reubens, society has finally devolved to the point where wanking off in a seedy porno theater no longer precludes one from being a children's entertainer. "Let's face it," says Apatow, "the world needs more Pee-Wee Herman. I am so excited to be working with Paul Reubens, who is an extraordinary and ground-breaking actor and writer. It's so great to watch him return with such relevance." I agree. We need more Pee-Wee. But relevance? I'm not sure feeding off of pathetic Gen-X nostalgia counts as relevance. Unless, of course, making boatloads of cash is the same as being relevant, in which case Pee-Wee is about to become one relevant mofo. (Empire Online)
A man named Harry Hanrahan, formerly know as hh, put this little diddy together for the folks at Pajiba. It's quite an impressive montage of words you shouldn't yell at your mother. Your father's a different story.Here are your lily-livered links.Starz Cancels 'Party Down', 'Gravity' (TVSquad) What's Inside A Box Of Coca Puffs (Asylum) Don't Laugh– Ryan Seacrest Is Larry King's Best Replacement (PopEater) People Really Hate 'The Last Airbender' (FilmDrunk) Shut The F-Up, Says Your Grandma (HolyTaco) A Video Tribute To Danny 'Machete' Trejo (Unreality) 16 Things You Didn't Know About Hgh Hefner (BroBible) Trampoline Causes Gruesome Ankle Break (TotalProSports) Hottest Movie Monster Lovers (Maxim) M-1 Global's Russian Ring Girls (CagePotato) Emma Watson Gets A Badass Tattoo (CelebJihad) Twilight: A Guy's Survival Guide (Smosh) Best Cinematography Of The Last Decade (Pajiba) Footloose Remake Premieres This Thursday In LA (Atom) New Orleans Running Of The Bulls (MadeMan)
On paper The Expendables is terrible. In execution it is the most fun I've had in a movie theater for quite some time. This movie almost has it all; explosions, gratuitous violence, badasses, unnecessary motorcycle-riding montages, bad guys getting their heads kicked off, and awkward stabs at banter delivered by foreign tongues. And this new one minute cutdown of the trailer highlights all those elements. Especially the banter. Somebody in Internet add a laugh-track to this movie immediately. Somebody not me. CHECK OUT THE COMEDIC STYLINGS OF JET "SHECKY" LI AFTER THE JUMP…
Someone in Studioland got a raise today. Their suggestion to change the title of Final Destination 5 to 5nal Destination almost certainly earned them a corner office with a view of the commissary. You may be asking yourself, "What does 5nal Destination mean anyway?" It doesn't matter, you. It'll look good on a poster, and high schoolers can change it to say Anal Destination.When you go to look for the film at the video store though, assuming video stores still exist when it gets released on DVD, don't search for it in the "F's" because you won't find it there. Look for it next to the cookie dough bites. It should be reasonably discounted almost immediately. (/Film)
Director: Steven Quale
C'mon, guys. The smoke bothers his eye.Hugo Cabret, or the movie formerly known as The Invention of Hugo Cabret, has begin filming, with Martin Scorsese stationed behind a 3D camera shout-stuttering, "I-I-I wantit in my face more!" Two more actors have signed on to put it in Scorese's face. Jude Law and Ray Winstone join the already cast Sacha Baron Cohen, Ben Kingsley, Asa Butterfield, and Chloe Moretz.Christopher Lee, Helen McCrory, Frances de la Toru, and Richard Griffiths have also jumped into Hugo's sandbox. The film tells the tale of an orphan boy living a secret life in the walls of a Paris train station. He finds a broken machine and gets caught up in a magical adventure. No drugs or execution-style hits are involved, and Joe Pesci won't force himself on any women. (/Film)
A Spider-Man is born.Marc Webb and Sony have finally selected a young actor to play Peter Parker from their list of young actors not quite right for the role of Peter Parker. According to a source at Blue Sky Disney Blog, Josh Hutcherson has been offered the role in Sony's Spider-Man reboot and he has accepted. Casting has been in the works for some time and after extensive test shoots, Hutcherson has come out on top. Bear in mind that there hasn't been an official press release from the studio at this time. So if this turns out to be wrong, pick a fight with Disney's army of lawyers.Apologies to Jamie Bell, Andrew Garfield, Frank Dillane, Logan Lerman, Alden Ehrenreich, and Anton Yelchin. You guys played a good game out there, but you still lost. No victory Baskin Robbins visit for you.
Gina Gershon has always made my film reel shutter, from being the best thing in the epic disaster Showgirls to playing a mob battling lesbian ex-con Bound, she knows how to bring th sizzle back into movie screen sexy. With her current film Love Ranch she gets to be in back into her cathouse gear and amping up the cinema sweat with Joe Pesci and Helen Mirren.A word from Gina: "Actresses are nightmares. I don't hang out with any of them. That's a problem with my profession. I try not to be like an actress."Don't act. Just be. You could take some lessons from Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls. All that floppin' and twitchin' during the pool sex scene came natural to her. More pics of anti-actress Gina after the jump.
Edgar Wright considers casting Vin Diesel.For those not in the know and too lazy to look it up, Ant-Man is a scientist who shrinks down to tiny size and controls the thoughts of ants via a special helmet. Yeah. Pretty dumb. So why is Edgar Wright making a movie about this? He undoubtedly has a golden touch, but can he turn Ant-Man into something watchable? Turns out, he hasn't given it too much thought.I haven’t actually started the second draft yet–I’m not going to be able to until this film [Scott Pilgrim] is out–but what we wrote for the first draft, and what Marvel really liked, is that it’s funny, but it’s a genre film. It’s about the level of comedy that Iron Man has. The idea is to make a high-concept genre film where it’s within another genre. His suit and its power is the big gadget and it takes place in the real world. I just wanted to do something that was slightly different than the superhero origin film. I felt that between that and the various mad scientist, crazy doctor films that we’ve all seen, this would be a way into an origin that was slightly different. I’m not really a multi-tasker–I haven’t done anything since Marvel liked our first draft.Word on the street is that Wright's first draft is amazing. I still think it's pretty dumb. Ants are really non-threatening unless you're planning to commit some kind of picnic-based heist. Or if you're lackadaisical when it comes to guarding your pee hole. And if that's the case, maybe you're just not well-suited for a life of crime. (Box Office Magazine)
The unfairly hot Ashley Greene and The Punisher Thomas Jane are in talks to join the Miley Cyrus film 'LOL'. Yes, we've come to the point where movies are being named after text message abbreviations. According to THR, "the story centers on a teenage girl (Cyrus) who is dumped by her more sexually experienced boyfriend while her divorcee mother (Demi Moore) struggles to move on with her life." Greene will play a high school bad girl, and Jane will be Cyrus' father. One problem. The movie stars Miley Cyrus, which means Disney will have a double padlock chastity belt secured on it. So Ashley Greene is playing a bad girl, but we won't get to see her do anything really bad. Such as seducing Demi Moore into some surprisingly graphic girl-on-girl action. …And now I apply the stand-by ice pack.
An early concept.Everyone is on Twitter these days. Celebrities, fake celebrities, movie humor sites, and even the manufacturer of the mask used in the Scream films. It's only a matter of time before our younger cousins teach our grandparents how to tweet. But back to RJ Torbert of FunWorld, the creator of Scream's Ghostface. He recently leaked some information about the sequel on his Twitter page, and it looks like Neve Campbell isn't the only one sporting a new look:I expect there to be 2 diff masks, however I will say this, things changing very often – difficult to say without giving it away.Sent out additional GHOSTFACE to the SET today, a very interesting opening scene.Lets just say, the town of Woodsboro, has an obsession. There is your hint.Hmmm, okay let me guess. Obsession sounds liks Obsessed. Ali Larter starred in Obsessed and "Heroes" alongside Scream 4 star Hayden Panettiere. Hayden Panettiere was a child actor who turned out hot. Oh my God. I know who the killer is. Or killers are, I should say. It's Alyssa Milano and Christine Lakin. It's so obvious. Why didn't I see this before?!! **smokes pipe backwards** (ShockTillYouDrop)
The trailer for Paranormal Activity 2 has hit the web, and it looks like one scary sonuvabitch, let me tell you! Actually, the first movie looked scary. Obviously it’s too…
It's official: Dominic Cooper will play Howard Stark in the upcoming 'Captain America' film. Although rumors have been circulating about Cooper's involvement since May, Marvel did not send the official press release until yesterday. It's kind of like how you know your girlfriend is going to leave you for that guy at the gym, but she hasn't yet packed up her stuff.As I wrote in May, Howard Stark is a Howard Hughes-esq inventor and the founder of Stark Industries, the company later inherited by his son Tony (a.k.a. Iron Man). Assuming no one has changed the Wikipedia page from which I grabbed it, that information should still be accurate. (Collider)
For those of you who can't wait for the upcoming remake of Conan the Barbarian, we have just the thing to hold you over. Behold, Conan the Barbarian: The Musical! Sing along to such classics as "Crom" and "Hear the Lamentation of the Women." Well, it's actually all one song, but I needed to fill some space. Watch Conan the Barbarian: The Musical after the jump.
I weep for theater seats this weekend.Control yourself over these links. The Whitest Kids U'Know Are Back (TVSquad) The Nastiest Quotes From Critics Trashing 'Grown Ups' (Asylum) Kim Kardashian Will Be Made Of Wax (PopEater) The Breakfast Fight Club (FilmDrunk) 25 Videos Of Hot Chicks Who Love Video Games (HolyTaco) 15 Cool Pictures Of Famous People With Animals (Unreality) British Kids Recreate 'Goodfellas' In Just 60 Seconds (BroBible) Cute Girl Faceplants Off Bike And Into Creek (TotalProSports) 100 Twitter Accounts Every Guy Should Follow (Maxim) MMA Loses Another Battle In New York (CagePotato) Justin Bieber's Tips For Surviving Puberty (CelebJihad) Free Condoms For Kids (Smosh) 20 Directors' Post-Failure Careers (Pajiba) Another Adventre With Stay-At-Home Dad(Atom) Secret Sexy Russian Spy Arrested (MadeMan)
If you wouldn't mind being one of the coolest people in existence, and you have in your possession $35k, you should probably buy a functioning, street legal Tron Legacy lightcycle. The guys who built the Batpod replica are making only five and selling them on eBay:The Parker Brothers team is building 5 custom one off "Lightcycles" to the exact specs of the movie bikes. Each bike will be black with an accent color – 5 bikes with 5 different accent colors (red, blue, yellow, green, and orange). Unlike the "Batpod" replica, the "Lightcycle" is being built for everyday street use. Each bike will come with a manufacterers build sheet and a certificate of title with purchase. Each bike will come with either a high powered electric motor or a high performance gasoline motor and transmission depending on the buyers needs. Be the envy of everyone who sees this bike as it will make motorcycles as you now know them seem like antiques on the road. No future "Lightcycles" will be made to ensure the value of these custom motorcycles in the coming years.The back cover opens up at the push of a button and there is a neon glow that exits from the back of the bike to resemble the lightcycles colored light trail from the original game. These bikes will also come with a TRON style helmet (Not DOT Approved).Can you even imagine rolling up on your lightcycle at the local frozen yogurt joint? You'd strut to the counter with your helmet on, the customers starring in awe, and demand a Daft Punk sundae. The pizza-faced employee wouldn't know what that is, but he'd have to make it for you anyway because you own a f*cking lightcycle. You get Daft Punk sundaes whenever you damn well please. (Geekologie)
Andy Serkis will be suiting up in weird, wirey crap once again to play Caesar, the chief chimp in charge of the Rise of the Apes. This should be a breeze for Serkis having worked extensively with motion capture to portray Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, the 25-foot gorilla in King Kong, and Captain Haddock in Spielberg's Tintin.I'm really interested to see what WETA comes up with for this film. Now that I know it will be Serkis making raspberries and throwing his poop around (generally known as pulling a Kiefer Sutherland), I'm much more interested. But what of Hollywood's animal actors? It looks like they will be completely frozen out of this production. I just don't have the heart to tell Buckaroo. He's already blown his anticipated earnings on that lavish banana hill.Poor bastard. (via Cinema Blend)
I remember my dad taking me on the original King Kong ride at Universal Studios Florida. It wasn’t a big deal, just a monsterous hydraulic monkey shaking your tram around. The cool part about it was it transported you to a world only seen on the screen, or at least someone made their best effort to put you there. Then you could bond with your dad over movies he was too old for and you were too young for.
When a fire on the Universal backlot destroyed the California equivalent of that ride, it became a mixed blessing. The new, revamped, bigger, badder King Kong 360 3-D was designed by Peter Jackson, based on his 2005 remake of the movie. Universal Studios premiered the ride, which opens this summer, with a Kong themed party on the backlot. There were snakes and monkeys and tigers from the Wildlife Waystation, tribal drummers and free trams through the new attraction.