With Dinner for Schmucks out later this week, we felt nostalgic for some of our favorite movie schmucks. Then, we imagined, if they can make a crossover as spectacular as Freddy vs. Jason, or Alien vs. Predator, why wasn't THIS dinner movie greenlit (Schmucks: The Spacklering?).
I smell Oscar!
If you're already making a movie out of a grid-based board game, and you've already decided to add an extraterrestrial element for no apparent reason, why in the hell wouldn't you throw a popular female R'n'B singer into the mix?
Empire Online is reporting that Rihanna will make her feature film debut in Peter Berg's Battleship. The singer will join Alexander Skarsgard and Taylor Kitsch who have already signed on to the project, for some reason.
Not to be outdone, Rihanna's ex-boyfriend, singer Chris Brown, has announced plans to star in an off-Broadway production of Connect Four: The Musical. Will it prove as successful? Only time will tell.
I'm sad to report that those of us waiting to see a poignant, arthouse remake of a film about a part robot, part human cop who walks through walls and fights cyber-ninjas are to be left wanting. Darren Aronofsky's long-in-the-works, inexplicable remake of Robocop has officially been scrapped. The collapse of the project was came about for two reasons: MGM's money problems, and Darren Aronofsky's realizing that he is Darren Aronofsky. (Moviehole)
HBO's New "Boardwalk Empire" trailer is like an all-star lineup of prohibition-era gangsters. "Lucky" Luciano, Arnold "The Brain" Rothstein, "Papa Johnny" Torrio, "Big Jim" Colosimo, and even a still small-time "Scarface Al" Capone all make an appearance in this epic new series.
Staring Steve Buscemi as a corrupt Atlantic City Councilman, the Martin Scorsese directed project chronicles the rise of bootlegging during the early 1920's.
While the trailer looks awesome, I couldn't help but notice the absence of noted gangster Moe Greene. This was a great man, a man of vision and guts. And there isn't even a plaque, or a signpost or a statue of him in that town! (Movie Line)
Watch the new "Boardwalk Empire" trailer after the jump…
The trailer for Director Zack Snyder's new film, Sucker Punch, has hit the Internet, and boy does it look sexy…in a sort of retro, World War I, ancient Chinese warrior/1930's gangster sort of way.
Other than the fact that the plot involves a girl in a mental institution, I really don't know what the hell is going on here. Oh, sure, I read the Wikipedia page, but that didn't help. What is clear is that the movie has hot girls, guns, and a dragon. If you really need to know more than that you're probably not in the film's target demographic, anyway.
Watch hot chicks fight WWI Germans, dragons, and ancient Chinese warriors after the jump…
Comic-Con 2010 Hot Chicks Montage – Watch more Funny Videos
You don't need much more setup than the headline. Roll the clip!
Is 300 too much or not enough? I'll let you know after I hit the clubz this weekend. (FilmDrunk)
Oh my! Links!
Top 20: TV's Best BFFs (TVSquad)
Meet The Borat Of The Gaming World (Asylum)
Fisto's Lament (HolyTaco)
The Inception Infographic (FilmDrunk)
Booth Babes Of Comic-Con 2010 (Maxim)
Britain's Fattest Women Dies From A Chicken Wing (BarStoolSports)
8 Road Trip Movies I Would Love To Expirence (EgoTV)
The Most Confusing Movie Of All Time (Pajiba)
A Zombie Wedding: Why? (Unreality)
Synthol Arms (GIF) (TotalProSports)
I See Invisable Clowns (Smosh)
Happy Birthday Kate Beckinsale! (BroBible)
Justin Biber Arrested For Molesting A Fan (CelebJihad)
MMA Artwork That Doesn't Suck (CagePotato)
Eric Roberts Is Addicted To Weed (PopEater)
Best Bathtub In The World (MadeMan)
I was fortunate enough to interview the cast and writers of "Community" while at Comic-Con this year, a.k.a. Allison Brie looked into my eyes. I also attended the jam-packed panel before the roundtables, but Vince at FilmDrunk took notes with such diligence that you should go to his write-up for those specifics. The entire cast was completely humbled and moved by how many people stood in a long-ass line to squeeze into a hotel ballroom to see them. One little tidbit I snagged is a video of Donald Glover and Danny Pudi singing "Somewhere Out There" from An American Tail live.
I've got cinematography skillz.
While at Comic-Con, I attended a party for The Expendables where Dolph Lundgren, Terry Crews, Randy Couture, and Steve Austin presented an Action Hero Hall of Fame Award to Sylvester Stallone. He's the first recipient, so I'm not sure how prestigious it is. Guess it all depends on who receives it next year. If it's Luke Wilson for his work in Blue Streak then I'll know it's legit.
Check out the shakey, blurry video after the jump…
Sounds like Blake's starring in softcore porn.
Warner Bros. dropped these new teaser character posters for Green Lantern. They're not unlike Power Rangers in the sense that if you put them together they form one gigantic poster that can do battle with other gigantic posters. Personally though, I think the Blake Lively poster alone should bring all other marketing materials to its knees.
Check out the posters after the jump…
Daniel Craig (pictured above as Indiana Jones and the Raiders Of The Iron Man Prop Closet) has been officially confirmed as the lead in David Fincher's adaptation of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. Now that the Bond franchise won't be calling upon him anytime soon, Craig is free to pop over to Sweden to shoot with Fincher as soon as he wraps Jon Favreau's Cowboys and Aliens.
Craig will play a journalist who teams up with a young hacker to take down a powerful Swedish family, just like Inspector Gadget (Ed. Note: it's nothing like Inspector Gadget). Fincher's still on the hunt for his tatted female lead, reportedly having narrowed his list down to five young actresses: Emily Browning, Rooney Mara, Sophie Lowe, Sara Snook, and French cinema royalty Lea Seydoux are all up for the part. But only one will be deemed worthy of the basilisk tramp stamp. Developing… (Deadline)
Having milked the teet of stunt-casting success by pitting 80's pop singers-turned-Playboy centerfolds Debbie Gibson against Mega Shark and Giant Octopus, and Tiffany against Mega Pirahna, Syfy now has them squaring off to fight their most dangerous opponent yet… each other. This clip from Mega Python vs. Gatoroid has it all. The only thing missing is Jordan Knight with his pants down. Check it out, the gals (?) engage in an epic battle that features slapping, hair-pulling, mini-dresses, rolling around, cream pies, cleavage, and absolutely no one lifting a finger to break it up. Okay, old woman deputy. Just stand there and whince. That's one approach to law enforcement.
Watch Debbie and Tiffany work out their issues the Florida-way after the jump…
Director: Scott Charles Stewart
Cast: Paul Bettany, Maggie Q., Karl Urban, Christopher Plummer, Brad Dourif
Synopsis: A priest disobeys church law to track down the vampires who kidnapped his niece.
Release: May 13, 2011
In 3D, you could smell the rum.
Right after the Tron Legacy panel at Comic-Con, Disney screened a teaser trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. It basically features Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow letting everyone know that the movie is a thing and they can see it next summer. It was in 3D only so Capt. Jack could awkwardly shove a bottle of rum into the mostly underage audience. I took an imaginary swig, but imagine all those tween alcoholics in attendence. The 3D must have been torture for them.
Check out the teaser after the jump…
In this brief trailer for Drive Angry 3D (Shot In 3D), a 3D Nicolas Cage is on a vengeance mission to hunt down and kill the agent who talked him into starring in The Sorcerer's Apprentice.
We don't see much here except for bad dialogue and explosions. He hardly even drives angry. But have patience. Nicolas Cage won't be sticking a 3D sawed-off under the audience's nose until February, so there's still plenty of time between now and then to make this look less like a John Cena movie.
Watch angry after the jump…
Dreamworks' has released a four minute trailer for its new animated feature, Megamind.
The film tells the story of an evil supervillain (Megamind) who is forced to deal with the consequences of his actions once his evil quest for power is finally realized. Luckily for Dreamworks, the trailer looks a lot funnier than what I just described.
Featuring the voices of Will Ferrell, Tina Fey, David Cross, and Brad Pitt, the film hits theaters December 3rd.
Watch the Megamind mega-trailer after the jump…
In a move that can only be described as heavy, Seth MacFarlane purchased an exact replica of the time-traveling DeLorean from Back to the Future, TMZ is reporting. The creator of "Family Guy" and "American Dad" has put about $20,000 worth of customized equipment into the vehicle in order to match its onscreen counterpart. According to one insider who has seen the car up close, it is nothing short of "insane."
Some people will say that MacFarlane is a real butthead, and that spending so much money is about as useful as a screen door on a battleship. But those people should make like a tree and get outta here.
Oh good, another friggen vampire movie. But in all fairness, at least Priest takes place in the future, and to be honest, looks kind of awesome.
"In a world wrecked by centuries of violent warfare between man and vampire, a warrior priest turns against the church in order to save his kidnapped niece from a homicidal gang of vampires."
Between this character and the priest in Machete, I'm beginning to think the Vatican has launched some sort of PR campaign to make priests seem more like bad asses and less like effeminate child-molesters. Good luck with that. (Coming Soon)
Watch the Priest trailer after the jump…
The first event I caught at this year's Comic-Con was the Tron Legacy panel, moderated by Patton Oswalt, a favorite comedian of mine and yours. I'm not allowed to show you the footage that was screened, although you can read my brief description in my Thursday's adventures recap, but I have video of the panel discussion. You can also check out the awesome new trailer here.
All of the actors were in attendence (for a third year in a row), including Garret Hedlund, Olivia Wilde, Michael Sheen, and Jeff Bridges, as well as director Joseph Kosinski. They enlighten us on the process of making the film, the flashy difference between Tron Legacy and Tron proper, and how Olivia kicked-ass in high heels. You really shouldn't need much more convincing to see the film when it opens on December 17, 2010.
Sweet stache, Elias!
Finally, a Hollywood project that involves vampires.
Let Me In, directed by Cloverfield's Matt Reeves, is the story of a awkward boy who unknowingly befriends a young vampire girl. Of course by "young," I mean "young looking." She's probably hundreds of years old since she's a goddamn vampire.
At any rate, before too long, people end up getting drained of their blood, the local law enforcement starts to take notice, and this kid realizes his new friend is a monster. I'm sure it ends with the two of them being elected king and queen at the big middle school dance.
If you like the vampire genre, you'll probably like this. If not, you'll still be able to enjoy Elias Koteas with a mustache, which looks awesome.
Watch the Let Me In trailer after the jump…
Thursday at Comic-Con is in the history books, except for the videos I still need to post. Friday started off with Noah from the Break Horror Channel wanting to touch the hot Green Hornet Girls.
Nice half thumbs-up, Noah.
Then it was off to "The Walking Dead" panel. But wait… "Hawaii 5-0" had theirs first. We got good seats by the water cooler and the footage I had already seen looked pretty rockin', so I was moderatly excited to see the new Danno and McGarrett. The crew and cast came out and there was no sign of Danno (Scott Caan) or McGarrett (Alex O'Loughlin). How are you going to have a Hawaii 5-0 panel with just Chin Ho and Kona?
That's a big bag, Will Smith. What are you feeding that dog??!!
These weekend links are the sh*t.
Simple Ways To Look Like You Exercise (ModernMan)
5 Children's Books That Hollywood Should Tackle Next (Moviefone)
Comic-Con Geeks Fight Back Against Those Crazy Westboro Baptists (Asylum)
25 Great Moments In Celebrity Side Boob (HolyTaco)
Hey Michelle Rodriguez, Why The Hell You Die In Every Movie (FilmDrunk)
How To Bring The Ruckus (Maxim)
Korean Teenagers Don't Mess Around (BarStoolSports)
'Thundercats' Cosplay (EgoTV)
Bourne meets Body Dysmorphia: 'Salt' Review(Pajiba)
Nice Tackle! (TotalProSports)
Comic-Con Dos And Don'ts (Smosh)
Introducing Bull Marke Fridays (BroBible)
Remembering Jessica Biel's Ass In A Bikini (Celebjihad)
3 Reasons Why and Why Not Silva Vs. Sonnen (CagePotato)
'Inception' Confusion Will Boost Its Box Office Tally (PopEater)
Your Personal Submarine (MadeMan)
Between spreading Die Hard 5 rumors and answering questions about the kid who is nailing his ex-wife, Bruce Willis had some time in his Comic-Con schedule to talk about the possibility for Unbreakable 2. Unfortunately, anyone holding out hope for the sequel is probably going to be disappointed. While Willis wants the movie to be made, director M. Night Shyamalan isn't so hot on the idea.
"I think we'd have to hip-check M. Night (Shyamalan) into doing it," Willis said.
I'm not sure why M. Night would be against making the sequel. He's had a lot of bombs lately, and a sequel of a popular film might be just the slump buster he needs. After all, Kevin Smith wasn't doing so well, and then he won an Oscar for Clerks 2. Now he's on top of the world. (The Playlist)
A bank teller in Long Island was surprised yesterday morning when approached by a gun-toting Darth Vader. The Sith Lord forced the teller to empty their drawer before fleeing.
We all heard the stories of Lucasfilm banning the original Darth David Prowse from Star Wars events, but who would have dreamed he'd resort to this? Of course, I joke. This is obviously another stunt from Improv Everywhere. Give it up, guys. You can only run for so long. (Newsday)
The Machete red band trailer is awesome, but not one that you can share with your grandmother. Unless your grandmother is awesome. Thankfully, we have the new trailer for RED to appease Nans.
This second trailer gives us a much better idea of what's going on, and the film seems legitimately fun. C'mon. It's got Helen Mirren and bazookas. You'll never see that again until we successfully engineer that Stephen Frears-Michael Bay hybrid moster. And the funding drives for that have been an abject failure so far.
Watch a batsh*t Malkovich after the jump…
Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity may have lost Angelina Jolie, but it now looks like Scarlett Johansson will fill her ridiculously hot shoes. Bleeding Cool reports that Johansson has verbally agreed to star in the film with her Iron Man 2 co-star Robert Downey Jr..
Johansson's role in Iron Man 2 didn't amount to much beyond the trailer, so don't go thinking she and RDJ are the next Bogart and Bacall. This could all be talk, but that's no reason to poo-poo the idea. Please put any negativity aside for a moment or two and imagine Scarlett at zero G's. That's something we could all have if we wish together. We can do this!!
Did I just see what I think I …? Did he just..? Wow. The red band trailer for Machete is now online and we’re gonna need a redder band for…
What came first: the chicken or the egg? Well, if scientists are to be believed, it was the chicken.
Now, for an even more puzzling quandary. What came first: the amusement park ride or the movie with the same name as an amusement park ride? When it comes to Disney, the answer is usually the ride.
As mentioned in our Comic-Con Day 1 roundup, Guillermo del Toro is taking a page from Pirates of the Caribbean and developing a film based on the iconic Disneyland ride, Haunted Mansion.
“Millions of people from around the world visit The Haunted Mansion each year, but no one has ever had a tour guide like Guillermo del Toro,” said Rich Ross, Chairman of The Walt Disney Studios. “Guillermo is one of the most gifted and innovative filmmakers working today and he is going to take audiences on a visually-thrilling journey like they’ve never experienced before.”
If the film is anything like Pirates, audiences should be in for a real treat. And if this is successful, I think Disney should follow it up with another amusement park-inspired film entitled $12 Hot Dog.
Last week we gave you a grainy look at the ass-kickers in Zack Snyder's Sucker Punch. At the time, we lamented that the picture didn't capture their hotness befittingly. Thankfully, Warner Bros has stepped in to give us a proper look at Emily Browning, Abbie Cornish, Vanessa Hudgens, Jamie Chung, Jena Malone, and Carla Gugino via character posters. These are much nicer than the corpse that Warners dragged through the townsquare yesterday.
This movie looks like a lot of fun. Not sure why Speilberg glossed over the fact that there were Nazi-zombies, mechanized armor, or dragons in World War II when he made Saving Private Ryan. Seems like exciting stuff to me. I guess he was just kind of asleep at the wheel.
MORE GIRLS, GUNS, AND GUGINO AFTER THE JUMP…
Saw 3D (a.k.a. Saw VII) has hit the Internet, and it's about what you'd expect. If you like watching people get butchered in 3D, you'll love it. If you don't like watching people get butchered in 3D, then you're probably a god damn communist.
While this is supposed to be the final chapter in the wildly successful Saw series, I'll believe it when I see it. I thought Jason Goes to Hell would be the final chapter of Friday the 13th. But eight years later, there was Jason, terrorizing people on a spaceship. Perhaps Jigsaw will somehow visit the crew of seaQuest DSV. I hope so. That talking dolphin needs to be taken down a peg or two.
Watch the Saw 3D trailer after the jump.