There is the right way, the wrong way, and the Jason Statham way to handle life's problems. To live by the Statham way means kicking as much possible ass with a cool British smokers accent and still not break a sweat. Statham, the former olympic swimming diver, turned mega action star shows that you should never mess with Union Jack in a dark alleyway or street fight. With The Expendables opening this week, Statham shows how a tough guy should act and still keep his cool, remember head butt first and ask questions later, mate.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Chev Chelios in Crank
Weird Fact: Made In The Name Of The King with Uwe Boll at the height of his popularity.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
R, 103m., 2010
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, Giselle Itie, Charisma Carpenter, David Zayas with Terry Crews, Eric Roberts and Mickey Rourke
Directed by Sylvester Stallone
Screenplay by David Callaham and Sylvester Stallone
There was this large plastic bin that I had growing up filled with action figures and their various weapon accessories. From Duke Nuk'em to The Terminator, the original 90s Batman series, metal figure G.I Joes, Aliens, X-Men, Biker Mice from Mars, Ghostbusters, Toxic Crusaders and others that I have now forgot. They traveled with me wherever I moved during those years. They were my friends, enemies, and characters to create.
More after the jump…
Tami Donaldson, a former 3rd grade school teacher turned Maxim pin up girl, is the prime example of Van Halen's 'Hot For Teacher'. She makes her feature film debut briefly in this month's Middle Men, but she's also known for getting with manhore musician Dave Navaro in her spare time.
A word from Tami: “I’m kind of shy and quiet when I’m out, but in the bedroom I like to be in charge—I like to be the boss.”
So…a lady on the street but a freak in the bed? You're like a dream.
More pics of Tami after the jump…
"No funny stuff, lady."
Josh Brolin is considering letting Charlize Theron ruin his life. I thought Jonah Hex already took care of that, but I guess not. Brolin is up for the role of Charlize's ex-boyfriend in Jason Reitman and Diablo Cody's next collabo Young Adult. If he signs on, Brolin will play the former high school sweetheart to Theron's successful YA author, who she decides to stalk. I hate when statuesque model types try to break themselves off a piece o' this.
The movie is said to have a few humorous moments, but for the most part it will be "pretty serious and f*cked up." Just like that E.T. porno that's been making the rounds. No, I won't link you. Look it up, perv. (Showbiz 411)
Lawrence pictured on Level 4-1 of Super Mario Bros.
Jennifer Lawrence is having a great year. After breaking out in Winter's Bone, she quickly lined up roles in The Beaver and X-Men: First Class. Now she has her sights set on a role in Crazy Heart director Scott Cooper's Lie Down In Darkness.
"I am obsessed with that part. I have this feeling of protectiveness over characters I want to play. I worry about them — if someone else gets the part, I'm afraid they won't do it right."
The former star of "The Bill Engvall Show" goes on to say:
"I'm trying to write the director of 'Lie Down in Darkness' a letter to convince him that I should be in his movie. I'll chase him if I have to. I'll sit outside his house." She laughed. "I'm beside myself over that script. When I get like that, anything's possible."
Ruh-roh. Looks like we've got another Sean Young on our hands. I've already called the police. (W Magazine)
With the release of The Expendables this week, children of the 80s (like me) have many reasons to celebrate. Some of "our generation's" greatest action heroes are returning to the big screen. Not only that, they're bringing with them the kind of action that made us want to be them in the first place. Good old fashion action – the kind with machine guns with grenade launchers attached – the kind with limbs blowing off – the kind with Dolph Lundgren!
With all the stars in this movie (some on the rise, some on the decline), we wanted to look at each Expendable's career highs and lows (and the enormous chasm between) – because for every First Blood, there's a Judge Dredd…
Could we see Zach Galifianakis playing John Belushi in the near future? Possibly. THR has news that Todd Phillips and screenwriter Steven Conrad are developing a biopic about the comic legend at Warner Bros. Nearly thirty years after his death from a drug overdose, Belushi remains one of the most-respected names in comedy due to his classic films, "SNL" characters, and general fearlessness that he poured into his work.
Casting for this needs to be perfect or else the project is sunk. Names like Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and Ethan Suplee have been thrown into the mix, but I feel like casting directors need look no further than comedian Sean Patton. This man is his exact double. If we can almost make Donald Glover a Spider-man, we can do this. Here's a clip of Patton killing on Jimmy Fallon:
In the interest of full disclosure, I'm not sure that he can do Belushi's eyebrow thing.
Paramount Pictures has purchased the rights to Last Man Standing, SlashFilm is reporting. No, not the 1996 Bruce Willis flop, but rather the upcoming graphic novel by Daniel LuVisi.
The comic, which isn't due out until September, was purchased from Heavy Metal Publishing, which is owned by Kevin Eastman, co-creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The story chronicles the adventures of Gabriel, a genetically modified super-soldier who is framed as a mass murderer by a terrorist organization.
I don't blame you if your natural inclination is to draw parallels between this story and the current Mel Gibson frame-up we're watching unfold, but the book predates the Gibson incident, so any similarities are purely coincidental.
The Old Spice Guy, a.k.a. Isaiah Mustafa, has parlayed his recent popularity into a budding film career. First, he landed a smaller role in Horrible Bosses. Now comes word that Mustafa has landed a larger role in the upcoming Tyler Perry film, Madea's Big Happy Family.
The film is reportedly a drag queen flick that fetishizes fat old women and strong, supportive black families. Mustafa will co-star alongside Perry, who will play the drag queen in question, and Lil Bow Wow, who will play the guy who is lucky to be working. (Empire Online)
Your story checks out, James. Let's hope you were wrong about Skynet.
If there's one thing I love in this world, it's eating a nice big meal and then heading home to drop a deuce. If there's a second thing I love, it's Avatar. That's why my head almost exploded when I saw this picture. It manages to combine my love of Avatar and my love of defecation in a humorous and timely manner.
For those of you who don't know, the photo is from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader, the Rolls-Royce of bathroom periodicals. This particular page from back in 1999 confirms James Cameron's long held assertion that he had to wait so long to make Avatar because technology had to catch up to his vision. I guess he isn't a pompous windbag after all, at least not in this instance.
Although, as someone on a comment board pointed out, this is James Cameron. He could have easily sent one of his robots back in time to add that page. (Film Drunk)
Someone added the Inception score to this video of a guy getting nailed by an ice cream truck. I'm hoping it was the kick he needed to snap him back to reality so he quits acting like an idiot and dancing in traffic.
Don't get blindsided by these links.
'At The Movies' Hosts On Show's Final Week (Moviefone)
Cocaine Trafficker Survives 21 Bullet Wounds (Asylum)
Top 10 Most Violent Movie Theatre Attacks (Ranker)
5 College Majors That Still Suck (HolyTaco)
'Anchorman' Is AFI's Number One Of All Time (FilmDrunk)
A Tribute To The Ultimate Instigators (Maxim)
Brooklyn Pizza Shop Getting Evicted (BarStoolSports)
9 Underrated Spider-Man Stories (EgoTV)
10 Overhyped Movies Before They Were Even Released (Pajiba)
What's Wrong With Kids Today (Unreality)
Kid Breaks Arm, Toughs It Out For Contest(TotalProSports)
Check Out The Booty Pop! (Smosh)
11 Greatest Fast Food Fights And Freakouts (BroBible)
Bar Refaeli Mossad Bikini Pics (CelebJihad)
The Ladies Will Have To Work Extra Fast At Friday's Strikeforce (CagePotato)
Meet Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Fire-Spinnin' Brother, Dan (PopEater)
Win The Wedding Party Dance Off (MadeMen)
Countdown To 'The Expendables', Day 3: 'Nighthawks' (MovieHopping)
That's not going to put it out, you guys.
What up with Zach Galifianakis's face in this new poster for Due Date? I don't think I've ever seen the man smile. It doesn't even look like he willingly smiled for this picture. The artist must have turned his frown upside down with the "Smile" Photoshop pluggin. You should totally download it.
The best part of the poster is the friggin' adorable French Bulldog. Look at that g.d. thing. I want to smoosh its precious little face until it's mush, which is the main reason I'm on PETA's sh*tlist. (Yahoo)
Paramount has scooped up the rights to the not-yet-published young adult novel Au Revoir, Crazy European Chick. The story follows a high school student who gets stuck with a homely and boring European exchange student who turns out to be secretly hot. And also an assassin.
If that sounds like "Chuck" to you, then you have a promising future in Hollywood. "Chuck" creator Josh Schwartz has been attached to develop the concept. Speaking of Chuck, this sounds a lot like Palahniuk's novel Pygmy. So imagine Pygmy meets I Love You, Beth Cooper, minus the social commentary. And Hayden Panettiere. (Deadline)
Know for lightning quick reflexes and amazing acrobatic stunts, Jet Li is one Expendable not to mess with. While stateside we've seen Li play more of the standard stone cold killer types in War, Romeo Must Die, and Lethal Weapon 4, over in his native China, Li is far more badass. Just check out his amazing work in Once Upon a Time in China, Hero, or Fist of Legend for a good action smack in the teeth.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Wong Fei-hung in Once Upon a Time in China trilogy
Weird Fact: When he was 11-years-old he won a trip to Washington D.C. to meet President Richard Nixon after becoming the Chinese National Champion in Wushu martial arts.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
Claudia Jordan, a former "The Price is Right" and "Deal or No Deal" model, shows off her east coast beauty in this month's Middle Men. Her blink or miss it performance doesn't do her justice but you can bet on all your Plinko chips that she'll be showing off her stuff with more projects in the future.
A word from Claudia: "I am the queen head doctor."
I'm going to assume you're referring to psychology and not felatio, only because we're not allowed to discuss the latter in detail on this site.
More pics of Claudia after the jump…
Today the Internet has lovingly delivered us this trailer for HALKa, the Bangladeshi attempt at capturing the legend of the Incredible Hulk. I don't believe that, "Say whaaaaaaaaa?!," begins to cover it.
This trailer tells the classic story of the Hulk's origin: being publicly sodomized with a pick-axe by bullies to the point that Bruce Banner invents an Incredible Hulk potion using beakers and Doogie Howser's computer. He then goes on to fight his greatest enemy, Guy With Bicycle With Guns On It. Whatever, the trailer looks amazing. It's even more trippy than Enter The Void.
Just see for yourself after the jump…
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World PG-13, 105m., 2010 Cast: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Kerian Culken, Mark Webber, Alison Pill, with Brandon Routh and Jason Schwartzman Directed by Edgar Wright…
It was rumored last week that Blake Lively was making a play for the role of sexy astronaut in Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity. However, it's been expected that role was Scarlett Johansson's for the taking. Well, now it's official that both ladies are pushing for the part, with reports that they both have tested for the role.
Will this create a rift between the two? Will that rift involve wrestling?? Hopefully. We'll let you know if and when Pay-Per-View tickets for the event go on sale. Gravity is said to be a really ambitious, experimental film that would require a lot from whichever actress lands the part. Neither Johansson or Lively have carried a film of this magnitude to date, but both are ready to step up. Personally, I'm really torn. Either would be super-convincing as an astronaut. (THR)
The Playlist has alerted us to an interview with Mike Tyson that is as candid as you'd expect from the man who once threatened to "f*ck you until you love him." It all came about when Mike wandered into a Las Vegas radio station unexpectedly after a trip to the dentist. If you're familiar with David After The Dentist, you know that you're in for a treat. Here are some of my favorite parts.
On The Hangover:
“I was doing that to supply my drug habit. I’m sorry I’m coming at you guys like this… I said, ‘Wow, This is going to be really good. We’re going to sell this stuff on 42nd street on bootleg and make a lot of money.’ This is my best thinking on drugs… It wasn’t that way. It was an international success."
On becoming a Vegan:
“I became a Vegan. Vegan is where no animal products. No livestock products. Nothing."
On his slow-transformation to vampirism:
"My personal life is so isolated right now. I don’t go anywhere unless I’m invited." (except for when he wanders into radio stations of course. – Ed.)
And on the arduous task of wiping one's butt when weighing 350 lbs:
“It was hard to wipe my butt… I was sweating like some kind of guy from a moon project or something."
Awesome. MTV needs to find a way to get him into the "Jersey Shore" house. (ESPN Radio)
Who says Hollywood is out of ideas? Obviously they haven't seen this picture of Helen Mirren giving Russell Brand the old "rub & tug" on the set of Arthur. In fact, seeing a geriatric Mirren giving Brand a bathtub HJ is the most original thing I've seen in weeks, and mind you, I watch Bravo daily.
The only question is how is Hollywood going to top this? Chances are we'll see Betty White giving an "Asian massage" to the wolf-boy from Twilight sometime soon. "Team Jacob" indeed! (Cinema Blend)
Promos for Conan O'Brien's new show are now airing on TBS, and for hardcore comedy dorks, things are looking up. That's because the ad is very reminiscent of "Monty Python's Flying Circus," specifically, the animated shorts of director Terry Gilliam.
Whether or not the style was intentional is irrelevant. The result is the same either way. Monty Python fans are with Coco. Although that was probably true before the ad, as well. (Cinema Blend)
Watch O'Brien's Pythonesque ad after the jump…
Fooled ya! This clip from MTV's "Undressed" features a Christina Hendricks circa 1999, but she doesn't get naked. Still, it's Christina Hendricks at age 24. Niiiiiiiiice. (BuzzFeed)
These links will cool you down.
'The Avengers' Fan-Made 1952 Trailer (BreakHorror)
Countdown To 'The Expendables', Day 2: 'Tango & Cash' (MovieHopping)
Celebrate Lazy Day With 7 Of The Laziest TV Characters Ever (TVSquad)
JetBlue Attendant Goes Crazy And Jumps Out Of Emergency Exit (Asylum)
7 Roles Michael Cera Shouldn't Play (HolyTaco)
FrotCast Episode 9: Sh*t My Dad Says (FilmDrunk)
Wet Hot American Stunner (Maxim)
A Guy Dies Screwing A Tree? (BarStoolSports)
9 Worst Children's Movies Of The 80s (EgoTV)
5 Hottest Female Shaving Head Transformations In Film (Pajiba)
10 Of The Hottest Comic Book Girls (Unreality)
Chick Gets Orgasm On Carnival Ride SFW (TotalProSports)
Lady Gaga Does Coke (Smosh)
Girl Quits Her Job Via Dry Ease Board Messages (BroBible)
Montana Fishburne Sex Tape Video (CelebJihad)
Gina Carano May Not Fight Again (CagePotato)
Michael Moore: Hollywood Has Dried Up (PopEater)
Madden NFL 2011 Review (MadeMen)
These new aliens are really efficient.
Universal has released the trailer for Skyline. It stars Donald Faison from "Scrubs," Eric Balfour from "24," and Brittany Daniel from Club Dread. The film is about aliens abducting Los Angelenos, not unlike almost every other alien movie before it. However, I do enjoy the mass human collection, even if it makes zero sense logically. The aliens are just going to have a bunch of concussed people stumbling around their ship throwing up in the hallways.
Skyline invades theaters November 12, 2010.
Check out the trailer after the jump…
Director: Colin and Greg Strause Cast: Donald Fasion, David Zayas, Brittany Daniel, Scottie Thompson, Crystal Reed Synopsis: After a late night party, a group of friends are awoken in the…
Eyes up, Brody!
Adrien Brody has signed on for cuckoo bird director Tony Kaye's Detached. Brody will star as a substitute teacher who becomes attached to a teenage prostitute while working at a troubled school. He later gets in trouble when he shows a gay film in class in an attempt to teach tolerance. I'm going out on a limb here and guessing it was Victor Salva's Clownhouse.
Christina Hendricks also stars as a teacher and potential love interest who encourages Brody's sub to go full-time. Brody has proven talented in a number of complex roles but this may be his greatest challenge yet. Can you imagine trying not to look at Christina Hendricks's boobs all day, every day? That's a test of endurance even David Blaine wouldn't be able to pass. (The Playlist)
It seems a little convenient that Michael Cera and Jason Schwartzman have a movie coming out this weekend and they just so happen to be reporting the weather on Atlanta's Fox 5 News. Unless this whole thing was an ingenius plan… The two actors, in an effort to promote Scott Pilgrim vs. the World screw around for two minutes in front of an animated green screen. The best part comes right in the beginning when Cera is trampled by a poorly rendered school bus. What would make the clip even better is if the local morning news anchors would shut the hell up. Let the comedians be funny, news anchors. The producer will let you know when there's an update on those human remains found at the Carvels.
Check out the zany forecast after the jump…
Mickey Rourke is the most accomplished dramatist of the rock'em sock'em team in The Expendables. An 80s icon who after pulling off a series of great performances in Diner, Rumble Fish, The Pope Of Greenwich Village, Angel Heart, and Barfly fell off the map and didnt re-surface until 20 years later with his award winning performance in The Wrestler. Now he's back and kicking major acting chop ass. Just remember don't get between him and his chihuahuas or they'll be hell to pay.
Highly Debatable Best Role: Henry Chinaski in Barfly
Weird Fact: Walked off the set of a movie because the producers wouldn't let him use his pet chihuahua.
MORE AFTER THE JUMP…
It's an indie movie, but don't be afraid. Just melt into the bright colors and everything will be–AHHH SPACEBUG!!!
I present to you the trailer for Gaspar Noe's trippy thriller Enter the Void. It's chock-full of drugs, sex, violence, and sex all swirling around the psychedelic Tokyo terrain. In the movie, "a drug dealer is killed by police but eschews a traditional afterlife in favor of floating around Tokyo in spirit form, watching over his sister." Or he's just really, REALLY high.
Enter the Void floats into theaters and On Demand September 24.
Lick the trailer after the jump…
Mary Elizabeth Winstead, the girl next door, gets a punk rock make over in this week in Scott Pilgram VS. The World. A distant cousin to sexy 1940s screen siren Ava Gardner, Mary has inhabited the female heroine roles in previous installments to the Die Hard and Final Destination franchises.
A word from Mary: "You have to believe that it is what you want to do with your life and you have to be dedicated to it."
Like being hot. She has fully committed herself to that challenge.
More pics of Mary after the jump…