"I get no respect. No respect."
Columbia Pictures is in final negotiations with Len Wiseman to have him direct a new version of Total Recall. The original Arnold Schwarzenegger blockbuster was based on a Philip K. Dick and introduced mainstream audiences to the notion of triple-breasted women, a spectacle you would normally need to travel to the Soviet Union to see.
Len Wiseman handles action really well as evidenced by Bruce Willis surfing on a jet in Live Free Or Die Hard, and high-octane pilot for the new "Hawaii Five-O". His contributions to Dick's story should be visually thrilling if nothing else. From Wiseman:
“I’ve always been fascinated with Philip K. Dick’s short story, and I’m excited at that prospect of diving even deeper into the type of world it evokes and the questions it asks. I love that the most crucial mystery our character is trying to solve is the one of his own soul.”
Pfft. Whatever, hippie. Just tell us when Kate Beckinsale will put on a third breast and Gerard Butler gets his ass to Mars.
Check out the full press release after the jump…
Kick-Ass releases on DVD and Blu-Ray next Tuesday, August 3, and Screen Junkies is giving away 5 copies! Watch all the kick-ass action of Kick-Ass in kick-ass high definition and kick-ass sound. The Blu-Ray also includes a making of documentary, an Ass-Kicking BonusView Mode, along with a ton of other special features.
All you have to do is follow Screen Junkies on Twitter and tweet the funniest caption you can muster for the still frame above.
Contest ends tomorrow at 12PM EST. The winner will be announced via Twitter, Facebook, and on the site.
You can enter as many times as you'd like, but make your captions sing. You don't want to get your ass kicked in this contest.
Monica Olsen may not be a household name yet, but that's probably because your prude wife is intimidated by her. She may be 'Brett Ratnerfied' with his upcoming The Unknowns project, which means we could be seeing her hot, if somewhat extremely enhanced boobs, on the big screen in the near future.
A word from Monica: "I like guns… I think every women should know how to use one."
I'm not going to lie. If you were holding a gun in any of your spreads I would totally, totally enjoy that. With oil all over you too, of course.
More pics of Monica and her gun rack after the jump…
We haven't really been covering Mark Pellington's indie drama I Melt With You because it didn't have any porn stars attached. Suddenly, the project sounds a lot more interesting with the addition of Sasha Grey. The porn star has enjoyed a career reinvention recently and is building up an impressive resume by picking up roles that don't require her to spit on her hand.
I Melt With You stars non-porn actors Thomas Jane, Jeremy Piven, and Rob Lowe as friends who feel empty inside and decide to resurrect a pact from their college days. Grey will play "a free spirit who helps one of the men realize that nirvana can only be achieved by death." And deep-throating. Tons and tons of deep-throating. (THR)
Dinner for Schmucks PG-13, 104m., 2010 Cast Paul Rudd, Steve Carell, Bruce Greenwood, Ron Livingston, Stephanie Szostack, Lucy Punch, David Walliams with Jemaine Clement, and Zach Galifianakis Directed by Jay…
In the latest addition of "Between Two Ferns," guest Steve Carell turns the tables on host Zach Galifianakis. You'd think the two would have formed some semblance of a friendship on the set of Dinner for Schmucks, but Carell is completely on the defense right when the cameras start rolling. These interviews never fail to crack me up, and this one is definitely one of the best. Mainly because Carell has a big nose and Galifianakis is overweight.
Check out the video after the jump…
We haven't seen much out of Russell Brand besides his roles as Aldous Snow or when he goes on "The View" and references Joy Behar's lady parts. We'll see what he can do with his next two projects, where he'll portray a drunken millionaire and the Easter Bunny. Now it looks like he may follow those up as a legendary swordsman in Hawkwood.
20th Century Fox has picked up the pitch that has Brand playing John Hawkwood, a real-life swashbuckler from Renaissance times. It's reported that the script will be punched up and tailored more to Brand's comedy style. So keep an eye out for a John Hawkwood who awkwardly hosts basic cable awards shows and flirts with crones twice his age. (Deadline)
Guillermo Del Toro's next directorial project will be At the Mountains of Madness, Latino Review is reporting.
Based on an H.P. Lovecraft novel, the film will tell the tale of a team of scientists who unwittingly awaken prehistoric creatures while on a mission in Antarctica. As you might imagine, they aren't friendly creatures, and bad things begin to happen.
James Cameron has taken some time off from cleaning the oil spill and saving the indigenous population of South America to produce the film, so I hope you like 3D.
'No matter how I shake and dance, the last two drops go in the pants.'
Good news. The Thor trailer from Comic-Con has been magically leaked onto the internet. Now, instead of fighting with a bunch of 20-something virgins for a spot in Hall H, you can watch the trailer from the comfort of your very own home. You don't even have to risk getting stabbed in the eye with a pen.
So, sit back and relax as the Norse God Thor is banished to Earth by another god who looks suspiciously like Anthony Hopkins. (Cinema Blend)
Watch Thor do his Thor thaaaang after the jump…
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Earlier today we showed you the poster for the hybrid live-action/animation adaptation of Yogi Bear, and now the trailer has dropped for you kids to enjoy! And make no mistake, it's specifically for you kids! There are CGI bears and real people co-existing in harmony in a national park with pies! Pies and pic-i-nic baskets!
The film stars Dan Aykroyd as Yogi, Justin Timberlake as Boo Boo, Tom Cavanagh as Park Ranger Smith, and Anna Faris as a documentary filmmaker looking to exploit the talking bears! Do you know what exploit means, kids?! No?! Well then you probably don't know what chloroform means either!
Yogi Bear sneaks into theaters December 17, 2010!
Check out the trailer after the jump!
"Lost co-creator and series finale ruiner (flame war!) has closed a deal to rewrite the Alien Prequel, which will hopefully be directed by Ridley Scott. As you may or may not know, Ridley kinda did the first Alien movie. Hit me with the facts, Deadline:
In a development as vexing as a Lost plotline, studio insiders said that while Lindelof indeed met with Scott and the studio for that rewrite job, the exchange of ideas between them sparked a take that could well turn out to be a free-standing science fiction film. The studio will decide when Lindelof turns it in. Scott Free is producing and Lindelof's CAA reps closed his deal last night.
So basically Lindelof wins either way. He rewrites what's sure to be a blockbuster prequel to a film that was a seminal influence on him, or he gets paid to write an original sci-fi project. It's almost as big of a conundrum as deciding which Pop Tart I'll allow myself today. S'mores toasts better, but strawberry I can eat right out of the silver packaging…
A new comedy titled Reply All was pitched around town this week with Zach Galifianakis attached to star. Dreamworks heard that and snatched it up immediately. There's no logline yet, but it's got Zach and that's all that matters for big box office.
Still though, what could this thing be about? Judging by the title, I'm worried. It sounds like a crappy romantic comedy where Kristin Bell and Javier Bardem hate one another because of an email that was sent to the wrong recipients, but then they decide they love one another because he's a straight-talking repairman with a hidden talent for painting and she's a magazine editor. If television and movies have taught me anything, magazine editors always end up with straight-talking repairmen with a hidden talent for painting. It's science. (Deadline)
Arny and Georgy always had the greatest of fun in the snow.
Warner Bros. has unleashed the new poster for the live-action/animated Yogi Bear feature film. It showcases Dan Aykroyd and Justin Timberlake, in bear form, hanging out amidst a cornucopia of ravaged picnic baskets. The worst part about it is that everything is only half-eaten. If they're going to ruin a slew of Sunday outings, they should at least destroy all the evidence. Park Ranger Smith (Tom Cavanagh) is going to have a sh*tfit when he sees what these mischievious bears have done. Real good example for Boo Boo, Yogi. REAL good.
Look for the trailer up later this afternoon. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some spoiled egg salad to attend to. (Yahoo)
The vote is still out here at SJ on whether Lucy Punch is a butterface or not. What we do know is she is in very high in demand lately with Dinner for Schmucks this week and then taking over for Nicole Kidman in Woody Allen's You Will Meet A Tall Dark Stranger this fall, where she'll be playing Anthony Hopkins's young plaything.
A word from Lucy: "No man in all the kingdom will resist me with the hats I wear."
As long as you wear them low over your face. Sorry, I don't keep my gloves up.
More pics of Lucy after the jump…
Michael Bay has been laying waste to Chicago under the guise of shooting the big budget action movie sequel Transformers 3. We've been seeing a ton of pics and videos from the set rolling in over the past few weeks, and today is no exception. /Film put together a great collection of the latest footage and shots, and I thought I'd share some of it with you here. Warning: Sh*t gets real.
Jon Favreau is putting on a brave face when discussing the dissolution of his bromance with Robert Downey Jr.. He's spoken out about Downey's need to jump off Cowboys & Aliens in favor of Sherlock Holmes 2 and seems to be a pretty good sport about it. He also tells The Playlist about the joys of working with Hollywood codger Harrison Ford.
"That's sort of an inside joke between us," says Favreau. 'I said, "You're coming to Comic-Con with me' and he said, 'I've never been there. I'm not going. If you're going to bring me, you've got to bring me in handcuffs.' I showed up with handcuffs yesterday on the set from the prop man. And so he cam and wore the handcuffs on stage."
Which really was not a good idea. That room full of Crystal Skull haters ripped the restrained Ford limb from limb. Harrison J. Ford 1942 – 2010.
When asked about what we might expect to see from him next, Favreau responded that he'd like to take on the zombie genre. Prepare yourselves to see Vince Vaughn just eating everything in sight. More than usual.
Alien abductions and big explosions: together at last!
Director Michael Bay is teaming with Paramount Pictures to produce Bobby Glickert's upcoming alien film, tentativly titled Confidential Alien Project (don't let them screw with that title, Bobby). While Glickert has directed a few horror shorts, this will be his first full-length feature. Insiders are comparing the film to both Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity, which is a nice way of saying it's cheap. Considering Paramount is hoping to keep the budget at around $12 million, that seems to be the case.
Deadline is reporting that Bay's production company, Platinum Dunes, is currently shopping for writers, so if anyone knows a lot of synonyms for "Kaboom," send your resume here.
Steve Carell was Raised By Wolfs, which explains why his new film misspells "wolves" in the title.
DreamWorks Studios is teaming with Carell's Carousel Productions to back the project, which is still in the "pitch" stage. While the exact plot of the Les Firestein comedy is unknown, I think it's safe to say it involves Carell's character being raised by America's favorite AHL hockey team, the Chicago Wolves (two time Calder Cup winners). (Latino Review)
How do you make the ensemble cast of Horrible Bosses even better? Throw in the "Old Spice Guy," of course.
Isaiah Mustafa, the star of the now legendary deodorant ads will reportedly play a cop in the upcoming comedy. Mustafa joins a list of Hollywood heavyweights, including Colin Farrell, Charlie Day, Jennifer Aniston, and Kevin Spacey, just to name a few.
Will the fact that Mustafa is the face of Old Spice create animosity with co-star Kevin Spacey, a well known Brut man? We'll keep you posted (Cinema Blend).
I found the film easier to decipher than this graphic made for clarification.
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Will Ferrell and Adam McKay unleashed this trailer for The Virginity Hit this past weekend at Comic-Con to a very confused audience. The film, which the dynamic duo are producing, came off as a joke at first. Then it went on just a little too long and we all realized it wasn't a joke, it was a promotion for an actual feature length film.
No disrespect to Team McFerrell, but this premise is an exercise in deceased equine abuse (beating a dead horse, to you laymen). It's a mash-up of 40 Year-Old Virgin, Superbad, and American Pie with the added, quickly becoming overused, faux documentary approach. Maybe that's why everyone at Comic-Con thought it was a parody of those films. Maybe it should have been…
The Virginity Hit hits theaters September 10, 2010
Check out the trailer after the jump…
White guy cornrows always win in a Silly Head Contest.
Justin Timberlake has been offered the lead role opposite Amanda Seyfried in Andrew Niccol's dumbly-titled I'm.mortal. If Timberlake joins the cast of hot, young things in Niccol's science fiction-tinged excuse to meet attractive women, he'll play the role of a rebel from the ghetto who goes on the run with Seyfried as his hostage. That's right, "Breakin' Up My Heart" has talked street long enough that Hollywood actually believes him to be street. "Sup, girl. You just been took hostage by Orlando's most wanted. Nah mean? Buh! Buh! Rap!! Rap!! Rap!! Pssh!!! Betta ack like ya know." **moonwalks away menacingly** (Deadline)
The road to casting Andrew Garfield for Marc Webb's Spider-Man reboot was a bumpy one at best. As the time for a decision drew near, the filmmakers whittled their list of hopefuls down to five young actors. One of these hopefuls was Josh Hutcherson, who was once the rumored front-runner to walk in Tobey Maguire's shadow. Though we'll never see Hutcherson play Parker on the big screen, we can now see him in an awkwardly-staged audition video.
Latino Review was able to unearth the tape that caught the attention of Sony execs and Marc Webb. It's rumored to have been choreographed by fight choreographer Larnell Stovell, and shows Hutcherson's Parker squaring off against a gang of high school bullies, who he easily flings into well-placed exercise mats. It really is such a good thing that those mats were there. Check out the video here and let us know what you think of Hutcherson as Parker. He looks like too much like he should be playing keyboards for Panic At The Disco to me.
Double Leia – Watch more Funny Videos
What does it mean?!
Brett Ratner is getting in the spy game. Ratner bought the film rights to "The Unknowns," a comic book written by Mark A. Altman ("DOA: Dead Or Alive"), Steve Kriozere ("NCIS") and model/actress Monica Olsen.
The comic tells the story of a woman who learns she was once the leader of an elite team called the Unknowns. She rejoins the team to learn who or what erased her memories and why. That definitely seems like it has movie potential. Hard to say what attracted Ratner to the project. Is he a fan of DOA, "NCIS", or model/actress Monica Olsen's talents.
We may never know. (Variety)
Amanda Crew is a former Blockbuster employee turned actress, who stole the show in Sex Drive along with fellow nerdy friend Clark Duke. She can be seen in this week's upcoming Charlie St. Cloud, further proving that I should have asked out that girl who worked at the Hot Topic store all those years ago. But mother wouldn't approve of it.
A word from Amanda: "I'll take a total nerd over a football jock any day. They are so darn cute I could eat 'em!"
But never date them.
Their body language says everything.
Another actor has once again jumped McG's This Means War ship. Sam Worthington was set to duel with Chris Pine in the project, but the Aussie actor has peaced out and Brit Tom Hardy has taken his place. Now Hardy and Pine, both Star Trek nuuuuurds, will go after each other black-ops-spy-style while also vying for the hand of Reese Witherspoon.
I'm a huge fan of this pairing. Tom Hardy's performance in Inception was one of the most enjoyable parts of the film, and Chris Pine proved he can hold his own in the Star Trek reboot. Watching these two fine actors go head-to-head with spy sh*t could be an exhilarating match. Especially if McG scores the scene with a Prodigy "Firestarter"/Usher "Daddy's Home" remix. (Vulture)
With Dinner for Schmucks out later this week, we felt nostalgic for some of our favorite movie schmucks. Then, we imagined, if they can make a crossover as spectacular as Freddy vs. Jason, or Alien vs. Predator, why wasn't THIS dinner movie greenlit (Schmucks: The Spacklering?).