What’s Playing This Weekend?

It’s the weekend, and once again, the emails are pouring in, all of them asking the same question: “Hey, Screen Junkies! What’s playing this weekend?” What offends me most is the smug tone, as if you people are entitled to this information just because we’re a movie news site.
 
But alas, I’m just one man, a cog in the Break Media wheel. Who am I to stand in the way of the people’s will. No, it’s my job to give the masses what they want? And clearly, you want to know what’s playing this weekend. Well, buckle up, cause I’m about to tell you.
 

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

Jack Sparrow is back, and this time, it’s personal…or something like that.

It’s the forth friggen movie, so it’s hard to keep track. How does the latest installment hold up to its predecessors?
 
Best Review
The franchise is getting tired, but Penelope energizes it…
Richard Roeper – RichardRoeper.com
 
Worst Review
It’s never quite clear what the relationship between Jack and Angelica is. Sometimes it’s love, sometimes it’s hate; it probably depended on who was writing the script that day.
 
Tom Long – Detroit News
 
Our Recommendation
With a 36% favorable rating on Rotten Tomatoes, I have to think you’d be better off staying home and re-watching the first three. But if you’re a huge fan, you’re not going to listen to me anyway, so good luck.
 

Louder Than a Bomb

Louder Than a Bomb follows a group of Chicago high schoolers as they compete in a youth poetry slam.
 
Now that sounds like a film that was screaming to be made.
 
Best Review
Greg Jacobs and Jon Siskel’s Louder Than a Bomb is an affecting and superbly paced celebration of American youth at their creative best.
 
Robert Koehler – Variety
 
Worst Review
Well, this is awkward. There are no negative reviews for this film. But I get paid by the word, so I’ll use this opportunity type a long and rambling sentence that serves no other purpose but to increase the size of my next paycheck.
 
Our Recommendation
Since the film is rocking a 100% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, there’s no way I can tell you not to see this film. But I will tell you what my dad told me on my 18th birthday: “rhyming is for assholes.”
 

Midnight in Paris

Midnight in Paris, a romantic comedy set in the city of lights, is the latest outing from director Woody Allen.

In all honesty, you should be able to determine whether or not you’ll love or hate the film based solely on that last sentence. There’s not a lot of wiggle room on this one.
 
Best Review
As a filmmaker, Allen has grappled with the temptations of repeating himself instead of forging a fresh path. You can feel that conflict here, and watching him work it out is exhilarating.
 
Peter Travers – Rolling Stone
 
Worst Review
Pure Woody Allen. Which is not to say great or even good Woody, but a distillation of the filmmaker’s passions and crotchets, and of his tendency to pass draconian judgment on characters the audience is not supposed to like.
 
Richard Corliss – TIME Magazine
 
Our Recommendation
The reviews for this film have been mostly positive. And like I said in the intro, if you enjoy Woody Allen’s films, you’ll love this movie. But if the thought of a romantic comedy set in Paris makes you sick to your stomach, then you’re probably better off staying home and having a nice romantic weekend with your adopted step daughter.