Thor' target='_blank'>Thor-2' target='_blank'>Thor was never a comic book I read. I’m not particularly interested in Norse gods or warriors from another planet who come to earth. Thor is Thor movie and it doesn’t do anything to sell me on the mythology.

The film’s only good action sequence is the battle against the Frost Giants on their planet. Thor gets some good hammer whacks in and each of the Warriors Three (Ray Stevenson, Josh Dallas and Tadanobu Asano) and Sif (Jaimie Alexander) get to display various weapons and powers. You might as well do the whole movie on Asgard, but of course then Thor couldn’t joi The Avengers. The rest of the action is just beefy man fights.

The film even struggles to make Earth matter. All Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is doing on Earth is trying to get his hammer back. He goes out drinking with a scientist (Stellan Skarsgard) in a pointless scene, but what does Asgard do for us? Eventually Loki (Tom Hiddleston) unleashes the Destroyer so Thor has to defend us. That’s it? Asgard sends baddies to Earth and Thor fights them?

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I get the arc Thor goes through but it’s still contrived. Oh, the hero learns a lesson. Loki tricks Thor, but he’s no Iago. He just says something that isn’t true. It’s not like he’s incepting Thor. Even though I’ve never read a Thor comic, I knew exactly what would happen when he tried to get his hammer back, and what would happen the second time.

The Asgard parts are like a modern day Clash of the Titans, gods standing around talking about battle but with better production value. They actually get through a lot of plot really quickly in the first act, but that only means they’re making room for more on Earth.

Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) discovers Thor during her physics research. She gets to be a love interest and explain the science of interplanetary travel, via her layman assistant Darcy (Kat Dennings). Coulson (Clark Gregg) is like a stealthy MIB type in this one, so I guess his character changes per movie. SHIELD investigates Thor’s hammer and blah blah blah. The Tony Stark reference is nice though.

They derive some good comedy when earthlings react to Thor-talk. The fish out of water joke gets old when he’s walking through traffic intersections. When Sif and the Warriors show up again they just get downright goofy. And I’m sorry, armor on earth looks silly.

At least Kenneth Branagh knows how to shoot destruction. The film looks good, and steady with no shaky cam. Even when he tilts the camera for establishing shots, the framing is still right. The 3D makes the backgrounds look like flat backdrops even though they’re probably actual graphic designs, but the perspective work is good. They make the frost giants tower over Odin (Anthony Hopkins).

The visual effects look like live-action people shooting through space, ice beasts and weather swirls. So, just like every other CGI movie. Honestly, why spend years on complex computer shots just so we can see the same effect? There is a tag after the credits though so stick around for your Easter egg.