REVIEW: Taken

Friday, January 30 by

 

I can get a decent amount done in 96 hours. Maybe make a sandwich, sleep, do some work, watch some movies, argue with my girlfriend, go to the gym. In Taken, Liam Neeson is on the next level of productivity. Here are a few of the things he was able to do in the same time period.  Warning:  there are spoilers.

Liam Neeson is an ex-CIA badass. Someone kidnaps his daughter and he sets off to get her back. He is told by one of his CIA buddies that he has roughly 96 hours to find her before she is hopelessly lost to the illicit world of the sex trade. Within this time frame he manages to: 

- Fly to France.
- Kidnap a hooker from armed thugs.
- Kill like 47 tough Albanians, some with his bare hands.
- Un-addict a sex-trafficed prostitute from smack.
- Torture the hell out of an albanian dude with a homemade setup involving some tent stakes, wire, and a light socket.
- Shoot a French stay at home mom in the arm.
Break up a massive secret high-end woman selling ring.
- Get his kidnapped daughter back.

What I thought

Not gonna lie, I really liked this movie. It had some obvious flaws. Like Liam seemed to be wearing some sort of magic suit that made him impervious to bullets. And he was able to cause millions of dollars of damage to Paris without getting caught. And he seemed to make it back to the United States after causing said damage and littering the Seine with bodies without a hitch. But it’s a movie, and a pretty badass one at that.

I’m a fan of anything set in europe that has something to do with spying. I also love movies where a dude with super crazy assassin skills is just living a normal life and people MAKE him use his insane moves (think Ong Bok, John Rambo). And Liam has them, which is one of the best parts of the movies. The fight choreography is fantastic. It’s got incredibly satisfying Jujitsu and Steven Seagal-esque Aikido. It’s a real good time to watch him break dudes left and right. Honestly, I think that Neeson could probably take Daniel Craig in a fight.   I was thoroughly entertained. Solid movie. See it. 8.5/10

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