A Guy’s Guide To ‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’

Friday, November 18 by

Differences Between The Book and the Movie

  • In the book, the werewolves kill all the vampires and feast upon the corpse of Bella Swan. Ok, that’s not what actually happened in the book, but it was what happened in our Twilight fan fiction.
  • In the book, Edward gets sick of Jacob and tears him limb from limb in front of Bella, a clear sign of vampire superiority. Nope. This didn’t happen, either.
  • In the book, Bella realizes that Edward is probably a sociopath, because what other 100-year-old man would be bird dogging chicks down at the loca high school? You guessed it. This is also a fabrication.

Comprehension Questions

  1. Name one plot difference between New Moon and Eclipse. Hint: You will not find one.
  2. Is Jacob creepy or awesome when trying to have Mormon sex with Bella?
  3. What is the stupid rule that makes the Volturi kill the vampire army?
  4. How glad are you that you will only have to sit through two more of these movies?

Pickup Lines

  1. Did you know I’m really 100 years old?
  2. Face it, I am hotter than you.
  3. I’m glad you can’t read my mind like Edward Cullen.
  4. Wanna see my vampire purity ring?
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