Posters For ‘Deathly Hallows’, ‘Straw Dogs’ And ‘John Carter’ (Formerly Of Mars)

Wednesday, June 15 by
 

Posters for three upcoming films are making the rounds today, though they seem to have very little in common. Even the shapes of the posters are distinct. That said, since Straw Dogs isn’t exactly a summer blockbuster, John Carter doesn’t hit theaters for another 10 months or so, and Harry Potter has released a million other posters before this, they all have to share a round-up post. Such is life.

The Straw Dogs poster demonstrates how angry James Marsden gets when the sexiest vampire from”True Blood” breaks his glasses.

John Carter would like to say hello. Judging by the poster, the producers would like you to call him “JC.” Are there some religious undertones here? Taylor Kitsch, who plays John Carter, has long hair, so the answer is an unqualified “yes.”

Four new Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 posters came out today, and they look pretty much like the other 5,200 posters we’ve seen for the final installment. They might have been taught at Hogwarts how to defeat evil, but it appears the gang was sick the day they taught everyone about respecting other people’s property.

Star Wars taught us that the bad guy always has the re weapon. What is this poster trying to say? Is Harry actually the villain and Voldemort the hero? Should the title have been Voldemort Jones and the Smooshed Nose of Righteousness?

This poster demonstrates that you can be both the leader of all that is evil and also be visibly self-conscious about your appearance.

If this final showdown demonstrated in the this poster and the previous one isn’t set to Michael Jackson‘s “Beat It” then…missed opportunity.