William H Macy Is Not Ari Gold

Friday, December 19 by

Its was a big news story yesterday that Jeremy Piven was leaving the Broadway show Speed The Plow due to high mercury content in his blood. This made me think "Of course he has a high blood-mercurey content. Mercury was the God of WAR. He’s ARI GOLD. His veins run not with normal vitreous fluid, but rather course with the mightiest quicksilver known to man."  And now the news today is that Piven will be replaced by…William H. Macy? Woah.

According to Variety

Piven’s abrupt exit from the show, blamed on high levels of mercury, had temperatures rising Wednesday, and prompted playwright David Mamet to speculate Piven might seek a new career as a thermometer. But Piven’s physician said the malady is a genuine health scare for the actor.

Honestly, this sound like when kids wanted to get out of class in middle school so they would suck on a penny and go get their temperatur taken at the nurses office.  The word on the playgrond was that sucking on a penny somehow makes your temperature go up, and that would be enough to get you sent home. It’s probably bullshit. I guess maybe not everyone went to school in a electricity-less one room cottage in rural Kentucky. Man, I kind of miss that place.
 

(Pictured above, the one room school house of Editor In Chief Max Powers)

My point is that I’m guessing that Piven wanted an out. Doctors ran a bunch of test and this is what they came up with. Personally, I can’t sit through 10 minutes of a Broadway play. I can’t imagine what the actors go through. I’d bail before the dress rehearsal. It sucks for the director (Mamet) that Piven was the reason they started selling tickets in the first place.

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