Who better to host the Kids' Choice Awards than the man who single-handedly has managed create stars out his children, despite public pleas of "Please no, Will! No more Jaden and Willow! They're too jiggy!!!" Or possibly not jiggy enough. The jigginess of the Smith children remains a hotly contested issue. In case it's not clear, the host in question is Will Smith.

This announcement is big news for the 25th anniversary of the awards show, which celebrates the greatest performers in the arts by just douching them with green slime to raucous applause, something the Oscars and Tonys simply refuse to do. Nickelodeon president Marjorie Cohn asks, “How better to celebrate 25 years of Kids’ Choice Awards than with the biggest movie star in the world?”

Dammit, Marjorie! You know we don't have an answer to that!

She then furthers my ire by boasting, "He’s a larger than life presence who knows how to play big, and we’re excited he’ll be taking the stage for the biggest, loudest, messiest spectacle in the show’s 25-year history.”

Hmm. Based on that description, look for Will Smith to convert the audience to Scientology en masse while Jaden's body rips apart in the final stage of his metamorphosis into Beelzebub.

The awards take place March 31st at 8 PM Eastern/Pacific on Nickelodeon. You won't want to miss it, earthlings.