After Ricky Gervais’ hilarious but controversial performance at last night’s Golden Globes, there’s very little chance we’ll see him hosting next year. The comedian told USA Today that at last year’s ceremony, he was asked to return even before the broadcast had finished. This year, he received no such offer.
“So I probably won’t be here next year,” Gervais said, before adding that if he were invited back, “[he’d] go (expletive) mental.”
But without Gervais, what the hell is the point of watching? His shock value is the show’s only redeeming quality. If I feel like watching a bunch of movie stars kissing each other’s asses, I can just wait for the Oscars. I (reluctantly) watch he Golden Globes because a celebrity or two might get put in their place.
If the Golden Globes have any hope of staying relevant, they’d better find a host who can fill Ricky’s shoes. Here’s a list of 9 possible replacements.
The nice thing about Norm MacDonald is he already has experience hosting an awards show. And unlike Gervais, Norm isn’t afraid to make a joke or two about double homicide or statutory rape.
Insult comic Lisa Lampanelli hosted this year’s AVN Awards (a.k.a. the porn Oscars), which means she already has experience playing MC to a bunch of whores. That’s a skill which will come in handy at the Golden Globes.
I’m not big fan of Kathy Griffin, but she’s not afraid to make a dick sucking joke on live TV, and that goes a long way in my book.
Don Rickles has got to be pushing 90. Why not give the old guy an insult filled send off as the host of the Golden Globes. If he goes too far, he can always blame it on the Alzheimer’s.
This year, Ricky Gervais was prevented from wearing a Nazi uniform during his opening monologue. Given Jeffery Ross’ penchant for holocaust jokes, I’m sure he’d be a fine replacement.
They serve alcohol at the Golden Globes, which means Tracy Morgan should do just fine as host. Besides, his insults might go unnoticed, because half the time, no one can understand what the hell he’s saying.
When it comes to putting pretentious people in their place, Louis C.K. doesn’t pull any punches. And there’s probably not a more pretentious gathering than the Golden Globes (aside from the Oscars).
If Robert Downy Jr. has a problem with this year’s host making fun of him, perhaps he’ll be happier with Gilbert Gottfried. He makes Ricky Gervais look like Billy f**king Crystal.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog
He’s witty, he’s crass, but above all, he’s not afraid to poop on a celebrity or two. That makes Triumph the Insult Comic Dog the perfect host for the Golden Globes. He’ll treat that room full of phonies like the bitches they are.