Where Are They Now?: Ryan Reynolds

Wednesday, August 31 by
 

Summer 2011. A simpler time. The nation was boogeying to the latest Cee Lo Green recording, and Ryan Reynolds was poised to rul the box office with not just one, but two, surefire hits. However, as Reynolds found out, things don’t always go as planned.

First, there was The Green Lantern. Reynold’s third foray into the comic book movie genre and his biggest role to date. Unlike Thor, which was released a few weeks before, Lantern was not a runaway hit. Poor reviews and bad marketing sealed this film’s fate and it didn’t not earn back its $200 million budget. Then there was The Change-Up. Which also suffered from lame marketing that didn’t highlight the film’s strengths. Reynolds co-starred with Jason Bateman in the gross-out comedy about people getting pooped on. Which is exactly what happened to The Change-Up at the box office, earning only $34 million dollars in three weeks of release like some kind of jerk.

So what’s next for Reynolds after back-to-back summer bombs? The SJ Detectives did a little digging to find out what Reynolds has been up to over the last four days since the summer movie season ended.

Sadly, Reynolds is taking the news pretty hard and has sank into a deep depression. He’ taken to sleeping in the coffin used to film Buried and has grown a beard — a style he has only worn in darker films like The Amityville Horror and Blade: Trinity. He’s also been spotted hanging around the campus where Van Wilder was filmed, attempting to ingratiate himself to the incoming freshmen with the promise of showing them the way to a laid-back, college existence. Perhaps not surprisingly, Kal Penn has also been seen hanging around. At last report, Campus Public Safety had placed a boot on his golf cart.

People Magazine reports that he’s been seen stopping by Sandra Bullock‘s house unexpectedly. Though gossips are speculating a romance between the now single former co-stars, this is clearly a case of one friend supporting and counseling another. Reynolds has had it rough recently and Bullock knows all too well what it feels like to be publicly embarrassed. Lest we forget what Bullock suffered? That’s right. I refer of course to the double whallup of Speed 2: Cruise Control and Hope Floats.

What Reynolds needs to remember is that it’s not his fault. He’s an actor. He did his part by reading the lines and being polite to Kathie Lee and Hoda. Despite the public reaction, word of mouth is that he was very funny in The Change-Up and his head did a wonderful job as the Lantern. What he needs now is a more lighthearted romantic comedy to ease him back into the audience’s good graces.  Then he can move back into action movies. Then a tense hospital/legal drama. This method has worked for Matthew McConaughey for years. And if he can achieve a hit without calling upon Kate Hudson, he truly is a master.

Until that time, he’ll have to be content with being in the physical prime of his life, driving his awesome motorcycle around, getting occasional modeling work, and dating insanely hot women. It will be tough. But he’ll pull through.