I hope you like robots, because this weekend, your local cinema is going to be crawling with them. For those of you who don't enjoy robots, I hope you like bad romantic comedies and Selena Gomez vehicles, cause that's about all you've got to look forward to.

So, what's playing this weekend? You might be sorry you asked.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon

Michael Bay is back, and this time, it's personal. I've always wanted to use that line, and now I have!

[post-album postid="218333" item="1"]Bay's last Transformers film was trashed by the critics. But will the third installment redeem the franchise?

Best Review
It's a momentous achievement and it will make untold amounts of money and you should see it even though it's hateful and empty and preaches the worst kind of reactionary violence without even really meaning it.

Andrew O'Hehir - Salon.com

Worst Review
Watchin Transformers: Dark of the Moon makes you die a little inside. Is this the future of movies? God help us! Michael Bay, you've done it again.

Peter Travers - Rolling Stone

Our Recommendation
For the most part, the reviews have been horrible. But honestly, what else is there to say? It's just more of the same, so there's no point in defending or decrying this film. If you enjoy Michael Bay's mindless explosion-filled mayhem, go and see it. If you don't, don't.

Larry Crowne

Through the years, Tom Hanks has made many memorable romantic comedies.

[post-video postid="215707"]Can Larry Crowne rekindle that Sleepless in Seattle magic? No.

Best Review
Too cute for its own good, Larry Crowne is nonetheless hard to dislike.

Steven Rea - Philadelphia Inquirer

Worst Review
Soulless Hollywood product doesn't provide a better textbook example than this Tom Hanks/Julia Roberts vehicle.

Peter Howell - Toronto Star

Our Recommendation
Unless you're a 50-year-old housewife, you're probably not going to enjoy this film. Then again, given the other options you have to choose from this weekend, it might win the title of "most watchable" by default.

Monte Carlo

If you're a tween girl, I've got some great news for you.

[post-video postid="206243"]If you're a parent who's in charge of taking tween girls to the movies, I've got some bad news for you.

Best Review
For girls of a certain age (and their mothers), Monte Carlo hits the sweet spot.

Carrie Rickey - Philadelphia Inquirer

Worst Review
It's chirpy, it's bright, there are pretty locations and lots happens. This is the kind of movie that can briefly hold the attention of a cat.

Roger Ebert - Chicago Sun-Times

Our Recommendation
If you want your wives and daughters viewing a film that hits their "sweet spots," then by all means, send them to this Monte Carlo. For the rest of you, avoid it like the plague.