If you ask me, all mutants should be rounded up and put into camps. But hey, that’s just my opinion. Apparently, I’m in the minority, since another mutant propaganda film, X-Men: First Class, is opening this weekend. Once again, liberal Hollywood is trying to shove the mutant agenda down middle-America’s throat. Well I, for one, have had enough. I’m making a $500 donation to Senator Robert Kelly’s reelection campaign. He’s the only one with the balls to stand up to these deviants.
But enough about my personal political views. Let’s talk about what’s playing this weekend.
After the disappointment of X-Men 3 and Wolverine, fans of the x-Men franchise have high hopes for this prequel. Does the film deliver?
Well, if nothing else, we’ll get to see January Jones in her bra and panties.
The finest comic-book flick since 2008′ The Dark Knight.
Lisa Kennedy – Denver Post
Too bad that First Class torpedoes its lofty intentions with flights of idiocy so wrongheaded as to be almost endearing.
Richard Corliss – TIME Magazine
Don’t listen to Richard Corliss! Everyone else seems to be enjoying the film. He probably just got dumped or divorced or something. Speaking of dumps…
This is unfortunate. I’m not going to bother describing the plot, because with 17 critics reporting in, not one could find anything redeeming about this film.
No, really. No one liked this movie.
If there is a special hell for film critics, it probably has movies like “Love, Wedding, Marriage” on continuous rotation.
Jeannette Catsoulis – New York Times
Screw the critics. Go see this movie, if only out of pity for Dermot Mulroney. He seems nice enough.
Submarine tells the story of Oliver Tate and his quest to lose his virginity and save his parents’ marriage, not necessarily in that order.
A charming indie that combines dreamy aspiration with mucky, hilarious reality.
Joe Neumaier – New York Daily News
An affected tale centered on one of those ultra-precocious adolescents one rarely if ever encounters outside of memoirs and sitcoms.
Frank Swietek – One Guy’s Opinion
Sure, Frank Swietek didn’t like this film, but keep in mind, that’s just one guy’s opinion. No, really, look at his website. 91% of the critics disagree with him, so be sure and give this film a look.