Weekend Movie Low Down

Friday, January 9 by

I missed my screener for Gran Tornio, so I can’t give you my personal opinion of the flick. But word on the street is that it’s a solid film, so it leads our list of recommendations for the weekend. There are also a few more worth checking out that do NOT involve Clint Eastwood growling racial slurs at minorities.

GRAN TORINO

It is my opinion that the past few Eastwood films have really been for the 85-106 year old demographic. This one takes on a theme that’s a little more contemporary than raising a flag in the South Pacific: old, bigoted crackers. I’d pay 10.50 to watch Clint make the rest of the theater uncomfortable. You should do the same. Smuggle in beer and take a swig every time he growls. Wear loose pants, cuz you’re gonna need at least a 12 pack.

THE WRESTLER


This one has a screwy release schedule. It’s expanding into a few markets this weekend so check your listings. You don’t want to miss this film– it’s in my top three of the year. It’s got everything you need Fighting, titties, and one of the most bad ass comebacks in Mickey Rourke history. See this film.

THE UNBORN

Horror movies are always an excellent way to convince women that they need to be protected and feel safe. Convincing them that you are able to do this is the first step toward removing their pants. With that said, we’re recommending this movie for a date. It’s not too gory but has plenary of Japanese Freak-show sort of suspense. And if she’s way prettier than she is smart she’ll have NO problem understanding the story line. And you’ll have no problem understanding how bangin Odette Yustman is.

BRIDE WARS

I’m kidding. Avoid this one like the plague.

24

And finally, 24 is back with a 2 hour premiere this weekend.

24 2 Hour Premiere Sunday 8/7c on FOX


 

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