If you'v taken a second to stop touching yourself to thoughts of seein DISTRICT 9 this weekend, you may have noticed that there's another movie opening Friday called THE GOODS: LIVE HARD. SELL HARD. It's the latest from Adam McKay & Will Ferrell's Gary Sanchez Productions, and stars "Entourage" fifth-Beatle Jeremy Piven as Don "The Goods" Ready - a hotshot, hired gun car salesman who swoops in with his crack team of pusher men (and one pusher lady, played by the hilarious Kathryn Hahn) to rescue the floundering Selleck Motors from falling into the hands of the nefarious Hardings (Alan Thicke and Ed Helms as the father-son team). 

Not only did Screen Junkies get a chance to see the movie in advance, but the kind folks at Paramount also gave us our first ever access to a TV junket.  Yeah, the same one that shows like "Extra" or the Reelz Channel get access to.  The kind where you're supposed to have a really good looking, bubbly "reporter" to charm the pants off the talent.  The kind where you have to brush your teeth and comb your hair and wear shirts with collars before attending.  Ahem... right.  It was a new experience for us, but we did come equipped with crack Screen Junkies "on camera personality" Michael Capes (read: the only presentable guy in the office) to go head-to-head with the stars of THE GOODS.  Let's kick it off with Jeremy Piven as he makes a case for seeing the flick:

A little too eager to buy, Michael? In all fairness, he had seen the movie at the time of the interview and was already sold before even meeting Don Ready.  But YOU may need a little more information before you buy.  We understand.  You're a discerning customer.  We respect that. Well maybe comedian Craig Robinson, who plays Selleck Motors' own car lot DJ, DeeJay Request in the film, can address some of your concerns:

We should mention that Robinson's raunch is just the tip of the dirty iceberg as far as the movie's concerned.  We addresses the film's dirty jokes with actor Alan Thicke, and even managed to get the wholesome actor to talk about about boners on-camera  - in reference to a scene in which Selleck Motors' owner Peter Selleck (James Brolin) sports a tent pole after hearing one of Don Ready's rousing motivational speeches:  

If you're still not convinced if THE GOODS will deliver the right bang for your buck, then maybe a 2-for-1 deal will do the trick.  Time to bring in the closers, cast members Rob Riggle and David Koechner:

THE GOODS: LIVE HARD. SELL HARD opens Friday, August 14th.  Go out and support this movie.  It's the first quality American-made automotive product in years.

By the way, if you're wondering why our interview with Jeremy Piven was so short compared to the others, it's because we allowed ourselves to get completely duped by Adam McKay's joke printed in the press kit, which read as follows:

"Few people know it, but after Jeremy [Piven] left the TV show 'Ellen,' he sold cars in Carson City," says McKay. He was apparently a pretty good salesman. He'd given up acting, and then he started coming back. He was doing great movies like 'Black Hawk Down' and 'Runaway Jury.' I heard the director of 'Runaway Jury' had to drive to Carson City, and actually buy a 4x4 from Jeremy Piven to get him to come back to acting."

"It's no secret," says Piven. "I happened to sell cars in the Valley and it was real tough, but time well spent. I'm the Daniel Day-Lewis of the comedic world."

Okay so apparently ALL of that was a joke.  Not the part about the director of 'Runaway Jury.'  Not just the one-liner comparison to Daniel Day-Lewis.  ALL OF IT.  And like one of Don Ready's eager customers, we were made into complete and utter suckers... and ended up basing the majority of our questions for Piven on LIES.  Damn you, Adam McKay and your pranks!  We know better next time.  But here's a sample of Piven giving an honest answer about D-Day-Lewis, whom we consider the Jeremy Piven of period dramas:

Well, Mr. Piven.  We did make a few phone calls.  Mostly to D-Day's representation, who didn't get back to us other than to tell us - probably another joke - to "F**k off."  In any case, we went ahead and wrote a script and planned out all the marketing.  Here's a mock-up for the one-sheet.  What do you think?