Can Marvel Studios depart from their standard fare and give us a Bill Murray: Origins movie that clues us in on how he got so Goddamn cool?

For months now, it seems that Ghostbusters 3 has been hinging on Bill Murray's involvement. And Bill Murray has said that his involvement hinges on getting a script he deems worthy enough of the heralded khaki jumpsuit.

It's not happening. At least not according to the National Enquirer, which has never been wrong about anything like this before.

The rag states that Bill Murray received the script, read it, then shredded it, sending it back to Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis with a note that said, "No one wants to pay money to see fat, old men chasing ghosts!" He's probably wrong about that last part, but his refusal is so stylized that the only way his criticism could be more pointed is if he took out a thirty-minute infomercial block that he used to simply defecate on the script. He could call it I Think This Ghostbusters Script Could Use Some Work.

Even if the other Ghostbusters want to make their sequel without Murray, they'll still need his buy in, as he's one of five stakeholders of the film. In my mind, it's pretty much like the Fighting Hellfish, where all surviving Ghostbusters have to turn a key to greenlight the next script.

In case you think Murray might be a little too harsh in his response, here's some footage of him mixing drinks for people at SXSW a couple years ago. Watch the video, then think about who's wrong, him or you.