Uggie, the wonderdog from this year's Best Picture nominee The Artist, is reportedly suffering from a "mystery shaking syndrome." This explains why after a doggie-career-defining performance in The Artist, he and his trainer threw in the towel, retiring from showbiz. However, unable to resist the siren call of Tinseltown, Uggie anted up for one last score at the Oscars, where he is rumored to be performing with Billy Crystal.

After Thousands spent on vet bills by his trainer, Omar Von Miller, has determined that Uggie's condition is neurological, leading me to believe that this dog simply doesn't want to perform with Billy Crystal. I suffered from a similar neurological shaking disorder when I saw City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold, and also when I saw a preview for Forget Paris. Knowing that you're going to have to actually perform his schtick in person, with him, live, must be even more horrifying.

We wish Uggie a fast and safe recovery. Hang in there, Uggs! Vulture